Tonight as I show up at the theater several people are waiting, outside on the street to get into my show. I was really excited. I have longed for the day when I would go to work to see the masses cueing to get in. Then I realize it is David, Paul, and the Wiz, the sound designer, director and stage manager of my show. Even at that I thought, “how nice that my friends are here to greet me”. Not so, they were smoking a cigar, on the phone and just hanging out, respectively. It was just a random grouping of New Yorkers on the streets of the theater district. Oh well, for just a moment I thought I was a Jersey Boy.

Since Halloween there has been a rat in my dressing room. Not the usual New York grey rat, but a black rubber rat that comes from the joke store, not the subway. He just appeared in the green room on Halloween night along with a couple of strategically placed rubber spiders. These additions to the décor were definitely a trick and not a treat. No one who frequents that area of the theater would admit to being the culprit. I thought the rat looked just fine in the corner of the green room, since he fits my gothic sense of style, so I left him there. I generally refer to my dressing suite as the bat cave, anyway.

A few days later the rat was gone as mysteriously as he had appeared. I soon discovered the rat stalking my shoes in the dressing room. He moved several more times and no one would cop to having done it. I am the one who thinks the theater is haunted but in this case, I smelled a rubber rat. This was definitely not the work of the other world. I knew it was only a matter of time.

Tonight the truth comes out; Linda and Berd are the rat wranglers. Linda broke under cross-examination and squealed on Berd. It was an usher’s trick. Now that I know the rules, open season has been declared on theatre tricks and practical jokes. Fair warning has now been given. You never know when and you never know where… but he who laughs last…! No more about this until it happens. Stay tuned.
As you were,
Jay