Monday, May 22, 2017

Dogs Life

I am currently sitting in a McDonalds across the street from the Doggie Dental Clinic. I am waiting for Boo to have her teeth cleaned.  With Pet care a $60 billion dollar industry in America (that is with a B - billion) it was only a matter of time before veterinarian specialist would be open up. They have made it as much like a human doctors office as possible.   I could have waited in their lovely waiting room but it reminded me too much of being in a hospital.  
 Nurses in uniform greet you to fill out forms just like the last time you changed doctors.  It was all very professional. Boo is an extremely healthy dog (partly because we have her teeth cleaned on a regular basis) so the questions were mostly answered in the negative.  At one point Boo was being very friendly to the nurse, who said,
"My you are a very sweet boy".  To which I replied,
"Sweet yes and she's a girl". The nurse craned her neck down to look between Boo's hind legs and said,
"Well of course she is".  This would have been the same scientific method I would have used to make that determination.  Who knew I had a natural talent for veterinary medicine.  

It did, however, make me think of the whole issue of transgender identity and states like Texas which are struggling to understand.  Boo is a great example of how much it really doesn't matter.  It happens quite often.  She is a cute dog,  her gender is not really a major factor in her existence. I don't know what gender her inner canine identifies with but I have the feeling she doesn't care.  Her thinking is probably no more complicated than: "Do trick, get treat."  The point is, it doesn't bother her to be identified as a male, even when a trained nurse has to glance at her genitals to affirm she is a biological female.  No one has ever said, "You know Jay's dog Boo? He is really a she." 
So why is it an issue when humans look different than their biological equipment that identifies them.  Unless reproduction is the goal, a human is just a human. 
This has always been an interesting statement to me.  Jesus was asked a question about marriage in heaven.  It seems a man had remarried after his first wife had passed. It was asked, which wife would he be with in heaven.  He said, "They neither marry nor or given in marriage, all are like angels in heaven".  Some other translations say "they are neither male nor female but are like angels in heaven." So.... it would appear that there are no genders in heaven.  Why do we get so concerned here on Earth about gender since for the rest of eternity it doesn't matter?
And I am sure, if there are also dogs in heaven they look exactly like Boo - angels.

As you were,

Monday, May 15, 2017

Sweeney Trump

Every morning when I wake up I check my email.  Most of my business communication revolves around this process. It is the "self employed" way of checking in with the office now-a-days.  That in itself would not be a problem.  I actually like addressing business issues in my bath robe, but this enjoyment has been grossly interrupted by something called "push notices" on my computer.  Like most of us I get headlines for stories of the day in this manner.  They just pop up. Before I have had time to even think about the news of the day, they require that I see them if only to dismiss them. This has proved to be a terrible distraction to my creativity.  

The headlines for the last 110 days have mostly been about the incredible ineptitude of the current government.  I get pissed off and that sour feeling seems to cramp any humor that might be ready to come out later in the day.  I end up writing, not some new show or routine, but a missive tainted by my utter disbelief and anger.  I really thought by now the distraction would settle down, but it hasn't.  Every Presidential tweet, that is reported, inflames my senses.  Each time I see one of those tweets I realize, instead of addressing the Nations needs, the Korean threat, the war in Syria, the war in the Ukraine, the extreme division in the country, filling governmental appointment jobs or just doing the job of the President, Donald Trump is ignoring those duties to craft some 4th grade 140 character snipe. 
Saturday my routine was altered.  I got up early to go participate in the reading of a new play directed by a friend of mine. I didn't have time to even check my emails that morning. No push notices to know what was going on. I didn't turn on any news. By one o'clock I was so energized with the creativity I participated in that my whole day felt, enlightened.  The Muse of art resurfaced and briefly held the "anger demons" at bay.  Suddenly a song became an ear worm and would not go away until I wrote it down.  This is the result of that worm.  I share it with you giving apologies to Steven Sondheim and in homage to Randy Rainbow:

Donald Trump – the Demon in charge of the Whitehouse 
(To the tune of "Sweeney Todd – the Demon Barber of Fleet Street" opening song.)

Attend the tale of Donald Trump
He can’t distinguish his head from his rump
He wanted America great again
But now it’s clear he’ll never begin,
That’s Donald…. Donald Trump.
The dodo in charge of the Whitehouse.

His hair is long and his temper short
He has no income that he’ll report.
He changes his mind in the blink of a eye,
It doesn’t matter, it’s always a lie,
That’s Donald … Donald Trump.
The one that’s ruining the Whitehouse

Swing you golf club high, Donald
Tweet to make them cry, Donald.
If you get into a bind, bomb Syria.

Donalds bitch is that Putin Red
The ones who know are currently dead.
He only wants to be admired,
Disagree and your suddenly fired,
That’s Donald…. That’s Donald Trump. 
The asshat in charge of the Whitehouse. 

It’s off to Mar-a-Lago again.
He’s there to work, on his Cheeto tan.
He surrounds himself with billionaires,
And Congress tells us that nobody cares, 
That’s Donald… Donald Trump
The Cheeto that lives in the Whitehouse. 

Donald can’t keep his story straight,
He should be studying Watergate.
Everyone knows the reason why,
You never should piss on the FBI
That’s Donald… that’s Donald Trump
The con-man in charge of the Whitehouse.

What will we do with this piece of shit?
We’re all just waiting for the fan to hit.
How will America ever survive,
If he does manage to stay alive,
That’s Donald That’s Donald Trump.
The looser in charge of the Whitehouse. 

Before he even ties his shoes
He tweets out hatred for all of the news.
At this job he certainly sucks
But he’s just in it for all of the bucks,
That’s Donald Trump
The demon in charge of the Whitehouse. 

As you were,

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Dear Mr. Trump:

I know you are not a politician. I know you are not a traditional leader. I know you aren't bothered by integrity nor personal honor, and I know you lie.  I know your vocabulary and tweeting skills are on par with a fourth grader. I know you are mentally unfit for the job, based upon your own actions and words.   I know you are not a scholar, nor a historian, nor a student of civics nor a believer in the Constitution. I know you said this job of President was a lot harder than you thought, almost as complicated as health care, but  then as you said, "who knew".
Until now I also thought you were a pretty good Con-man. Now I "bigly" realize that you are not even an adequate con-man, Mr. Trump.

I'm no expert but I know one of the "con-man ten commandments" is: "Don't run when no one is chasing you."

Let me try to explain that in fourth grade English.

Don't act guilty if you are innocent, and if you are guilty, try your best to look innocent.  Every action you have taken has a veil over it like you are a bad magician trying to provide distraction for an ill rehearsed trick.  Your timing sucks.  A real con-man would know when the time is right.  A good con-man would not be so ham fisted with his manipulations.
Mr. Trump,  you have no grace, even for a con-man thug.  If your action toward Mr. Comey was completely justified and without hint of a Russian cover-up why was it handled in such a humiliating way?  In front of his peers and FBI employees at a meeting in Los Angeles, a media capital, Mr. Comey sees the announcement of his firing on television.  The meeting is cancelled.  It is not even certain that he has the authority to fly home in the FBI plane.  His "perp walk" to the airplane was broadcast by television helicopter for all to see. Do you understand that humiliation was not called for nor necessary? Perhaps you thought this was better than brining him into the oval office as you sat between Ivanka and Steve Bannon, telling him"you're fired" on camera.
Mr. Trump, I know your American history is fuzzy but Nixon was eventually brought down by a source named "deep throat".  Now there has been an immediate comparison of the Comey firing to Nixon's time in 1972 when he also fired someone investigating him.  Here is the historic part you should have thought about before you sent your body guard over to the J.Edgar Hoover Building to deliver your letter.  Forty years after Nixon's resignation, and before his own death, it was reveled that "Deep Throat" - the whistle blower who brought down Nixon... was a high ranking FBI agent at the time.  I know,  who knew?
What I am saying Mr. Trump, is this: A good con-man would have known all that.  And of all the things I thought I knew about you, I thought for sure you were a better crook than Richard Nixon.  But you are not.
Mr. Trump, I did not know Richard Nixon, Richard Nixon was not a friend of mine, but I can tell you sir, "You are no Richard Nixon."   You are just another crooked Dick.

With the saddest of thoughts toward you and your family,
Jay Johnson


Sunday, May 07, 2017

Vive la France

France has just announced that the Trump loving, immigrate hating, compromise fearing, Putin loving candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen has lost "bigly" in the election for President. Early reports suggest that Russia employed the same covert game with Emanuel Marcon (the centrist candidate) as they did with Hillary Clinton last year, hacking documents and releasing them at literally the last hour of the campaign.  Unlike here in America the French did not fall for it.  Why?
The French are not smarter than Americans, the French are not governed better than Americans, but in an election that had similar over tones to ours they chose the more moderate and centrist leader.  Why?
I have a theory that may or may not be a factor, those more politically astute can correct the thesis if they wish.
Unlike Americans the French know what fascism is.  They were conquered and ruled by the poster boy of fascism, racism and idiocracy in the 40's.  Even now they can see the wolf in sheep's clothing who might be parading as a contemporary choice for leader.  
Americans have no experience in this area.  We dream along in the belief that we were the ones who conquered fascism.  We believe that we are too smart, too strong, and too Godly to become the serfs of fascism.  Those who believe it "can never happen here" are the very ones who are ripe for the jingoism that fascism spouts.  In fact believing a country is better than, smarter than and superior in attitude to others is the very germ of fascism.  
Oh Americans like to shout about fascism, and call every leader they don't like Hitlerish and claim they know how to spot it.  In reality we Americans have no idea what it is like to be ruled by fascism.  Here is an instructing quote from Benito Mussolini:

With court rulings like Citizens United, orders to roll back environmental regulations,  ease up the banking regulations, and give higher tax breaks to the wealthiest, we are goose stepping into fascism carrying the flag of a free market.  What politicians tell us is: the rules restricting "big business" is hurting our capitalistic society, which is Un American.  The truth is government restrictions on corporations and big business is not hurting America it is America.  America is the land of the free, where everyone has the same chance to become anything they want given their own hard work to accomplish it.  Fascism is business in partnership with the government unfettered by any restrictions that might lower the bottom line.  
I am always amused by people who vote against progressive public policy because, "No government is going to tell me what I can and can't do."  Right. Let's make sure that Goldman Saks, Enron and Monsanto tell us what we can and can't do.  Let's solve the opioid addiction problem by getting the government totally out of the drug regulation business. The drug companies will see the error of their ways and voluntarily give up the billions of dollars they make off selling the opioids they manufacture. 
The government should be the referee in the corporate world, not the team owner. The government should make rules and establish rulings that are not bias for one side or the other, but make the game safe and equal for all the players.  Right now we have a President who knows nothing else but corporatism and his similarity to Benito Mussolini in style and look are frighteningly obvious.  Unfortunately until America understands what fascism is, and what it looks like, we will be lead by big money.  Perhaps before this "Era" is over we will know how easily a country can become corrupted and never again elect a liar, cheater, narcissist and complete fool for the job of President.  Until then.... join the "resistance".
As you were,