Out of the wild

I have not had a smart phone signal for the last two days. I suppose cell towers on a glacier would not be very environmentally correct.
I am learning to deal with my tiny ship board accommodations. I feel like a dog who has been "crate trained."
Last night after my show I met some fans; two very attractive middle age ladies looking very good. They admittedly had come on this cruise for romance with some single men. I said, "Are you kidding? You chose an Alaskan run where the average age of the passenger is 103 and the average weight is 300 pounds? Why not Mexico or the Caribbean?" They suddenly had the blank stare of cougars in the headlights or maybe it was the liquor.
I have befriended the legendary Billy Vader. Billy is the honorary mayor of Princess Cruise Line. He has been with the company for 30 years. He was the original comic on the original Love Boat, and has basically been sailing with this line since then. He basically lives on the ship for months, and calls his own shots. He knows everybody on every ship. The Captains salute him. In the words of Roger Miller from "King of the Road" - he knows *every lock that ain't locked when no one's around* He guided me through crew areas. I had never seen this area before on any ship. Very much like the steerage scene in the movie "Titanic". Party and rowdiness almost 24 hours a day. It is like an underground world of the moors. They have their own slot machines, pool tables, and bars. I had no idea what went on when the ship is asleep.
More on Billy Vader later his stories are endless.
As you were,
Jay
www.monkeyjoke.com