It was my birthday yesterday so I took the blog off for the night. I had a great dinner after the show with Murphy, Paul, Julia, Ruthie, Estelle, Nathan and Julie. A wonderful bunch of friends new and old. I have had decades of birthdays. I usually think that they are more depressing than other days in my life. This one was just fine. Yes, I wish I was staying in London longer, but I accept the situation as it is. I have had a great run no matter how short it was. I did find out that the theater is basically closing after my show closes. Many of the people whom I have grown to like are now out of work. The people that work tech at the Arts Theater, Julie, Sean, Andrew (the tech not the producer Andrew) will be laid off after we close tomorrow. That makes me feel much worse. If our show was continuing there would be a dozen or more people who would still have a job at the theater. No one is happy that we are closing. It is a real let down for everyone.

There is a nightly ritual of carrying the "boys" of the cast to and from the stage, before and after the show. Basically we transport the puppets in two case and one is large enough to require two people to handle it. We take them up a long flight of stairs that is dark, old and dungeon like. There are handles on both ends of the large case and it has to be carried flat. It is remenisent of pall bearers carrying a casket.

Paul and Murphy were helping me up the stairs last night. With the show closing it suddenly reminded me of a funeral procession as we ascended. Here we were the "three and only" burying our London creation. Up the stairs I started humming funeral music and then began to sing it louder. Paul and Murphy have always been on the same wave length with me creatively, and they started humming and singing the same tunes. Paul and I started trading musical phrases and it immediately turned into a New Orleans funeral. At first funeral tunes, but by the time we got the "bodies" to the dressing room we were riffing on up beat jazz and free forming at the top of our lungs. It became an impromptu New Orleans Jazz funeral. It became a full dixieland band ascending the stairs in this the final moments of a theatrical parade. The New Orleans people have it right. A little sadness and then, let the good times roll. It helped me release a lot of pent up emotions in a way that was very disarming. I felt a burden roll off me when we finally arrived at the dressing room.

Murphy and Paul left early this morning. I barely remember them leaving at 5:00 am, but they took their own picture with my camera and left it for me to find later in the day. After the show tonight it was time to take the suitcases up stairs. I said to the crew, "Who is available to join me in the funeral march?" No one seemed to be jumping at the opportunity. There was a moments pause then Ruthie said, "I'll help you up the stairs but please don't make me sing." I laughed very, very hard. It was if she was saying, I don't mind the work, but please do not include me in your insanity. This is the same person who was obsessing over a vacuum named James just a few days ago.

About the show closing. I am fine. I had to get mad, get depressed, get sad and then get over it. Since that process all happened in the same three days when my sons left and my birthday arrived it was an emotional roller coaster. I blasted the Producers in my dressing room on Wednesday like Hitler addressing his generals in the bunker. Later I realized that I had vented Broadway anger that was pent up for two years and in some ways did not fit my anxiety over the current situation. I later told them that I was more upset with the situation and their mistakes than I was with them personally. That is true, I don't think they are dishonest, nor underhanded, they are producers, the natural enemy of the artist. They are just young and inexperienced and made some tragic mistakes. I like them a lot and still think they are good producers. They will take the hit for this failure more than me. I leave town with the hottest show that didn't run. Great reviews, everyone who saw it thought it was the best show in London. And I believe it was. The mortgage crunch has hit Britian and the oil prices affect them as much as us. There are no Americans on holiday here. No one can discount the fact that the show opened in the worst economic times London has experienced in ages. There is not a show in London right now that isn't struggling. There will be more closures than just my show before this economy turns around. The world economy is on a knifes edge and we have not seen this sort of depression world wide in a long time.

If someone came to me and offered 21 shows in London's West End for a three week run, I would have jumped on it. The fact that I thought this was going to be longer is ultimately not an issue. I had a great run. Longer than Dallas, and longer than any date on our tour for the last year. We are still looking for our market and we will find it. Maybe we already have. Maybe this show is so special it will never draw masses, it will only draw those people who are called to see it. I know one thing, if I was playing to 17 thousand people a night, making millions and didn't like the show I was doing, I would be a very miserable person. I am neither of those things.

As you were,
Jay