Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Last Political Rant

Yesterday a FaceBook friend commented, after he read my blog, "I humbly suggest sticking to vent and entertaining my dear friends and colleagues." He is right... no I mean really, he sounds very RIGHT.
But I get it. I need to get back to my entertaining job. So here goes.
They say that comedy is the civilized way of avoiding aggression between people.  Animals don't laugh their way out of a fight... they just fight. A smile for a human is the barring of teeth to an animal and animals don't laugh they sheik for others to come join the fight.
The late Michael Price, comedy writer and friend, once told me.  "If you can't think of something funny, think of something that irritates  you, and make fun of that." If comedy does not have the element of surprise or masked aggression it is probably not funny.
What's irritating most of the country right now is the Government. You would think that we would be laughing out heads off with that kind of material.
Not so.  The country can't seem to come together and laugh right now.  They can't even come together enough to agree not to fight.  Mostly, because nobody is willing to let anyone else finish a thought, or maybe even a sentence before they comment.
This is my take on a comic trying to tell a joke while being interviewed by a television political commentator... your choice of talking heads and networks:
COMMENTATOR
Welcome Shecky Bevaerman from Las Vegas.  

SHECKY
Thanks.. Nice to be here.

COMMENTATOR
Shecky you make your living as a comic.

SHECKY
Yes... here’s a joke for you...

COMMENTATOR
Let me ask you, don’t you find it tough working
as a comic right now with the recession and all...
less corporate shows...  the middle class with
less money to spend on an evening out?

SHECKY
Sometimes, but Speaking of going out...
This guy walks into a bar...

COMMENTATOR
Now when you say bar you mean a place
to buy an alcoholic beverage..

SHECKY
Yeah, This guy walks into a bar and sees a gorilla...

COMMENTATOR
Because you certainly wouldn’t find a gorilla standing at the bar
of say the Supreme Court, Right?

SHECKY
Yeah... this ain’t the Supreme Court. So the guy walks up the
gorilla and starts a conversation... the...

COMMENTATOR
Is it the same conversation that 54%
 of the American people are
having about the debt ceiling?

SHECKY
No, the gorilla don’t care..
So as the guy is talking to the gorilla
the bartender comes up to them..

COMMENTATOR
Just so our viewers understand,
is the gorilla in this country legally
 or is he taking zoo jobs away
from gorilla’s who are here legally?

SHECKY
The gorilla don’t have no job, Okay?
The bartender looks at the guy
and then back to the gorilla.

COMMENTATOR
Now Mr. Beaverman if the gorilla is
unemployed how can he afford drinks at a bar?

SHECKY
It doesn’t matter if the gorilla ain’t got no job...
you see, the guy is offering to buy the gorilla a drink. 

COMMENTATOR
So basically this gorilla is unemployed
and taking hand outs from tax payers who
 are there just to have a drink for themselves?

SHECKY
This ain’t about the gorilla... the bartender over hears
the guy ask the gorilla if he can buy her a drink and says,
“Hey buddy... We don’t serve your kind here.

COMMENTATOR
The bartender certainly has the right to run his business as
 he sees fit without any governmental interference...

SHECKY
So the guy says, “What do you mean you don’t serve my kind?
I thought this was a....

COMMENTATOR
We are out of time, Thank you Mr. Shecky Beaverman...
And now we go to Katie Flippy with news from
the cloak room of the Senate House Chamber
where nothing seems to be happening...
Katie why isn't there something going on?

As you were,
Jay

1 comment:

Bill Matthews said...

Fantastic job nailing the democratic party as the commentator. I couldn't have done it better. By the way, now that President Obama has appointed you to a position, what's bob going to be doing? ;-)