Sunday, July 10, 2011

One of my personal Zombies
The Haunting of Johnson House
I know that most of  you are weary of the constant dialogue about my iPad.  You would think I was a Mac Evangelistand probably would become one if asked. Enough is enough. However, this is a tale of a different nature and only involves the iPad as the facilitator of the event.
Brandon has been here for a few weeks and the house has been filled with his friends most every weekend and some week days.  Brandon has always been a very inclusive person and his embrace widens our extended family when he is here.  Some of the friends who have come by to see him I have known since they were kids, and rarely get to see them in their adulthood. 
I am glad to say that the kids feel comfortable enough to spend the night here when they have partied to much.  It makes everyone feel better that they are not driving home under less than safe conditions.
This said Sandi and I are never sure who will be here sleeping on one of the couches when we wake up on a weekend.  Such was the case this morning. We had not seen Dylan for several years as he was away  to college in Colorado and then moved to Spain for a few years.  So it was great to have coffee with him and catch up before anyone else was awake. So that is how it all started.... just a nice morning chat over coffee.
Eventually the talk turned to my art work and I showed Dylan some of my drawings on the iPad.  He had never played with an iPad before so I was showing him all the bells and whistles.
Sandi went to our bedroom at the back of the house to get out of her pajamas as I continued to dwell on the multitude of apps available for my new toy.  One of the apps I was showing Dylan is called Zombie Booth. You up load any picture, define the mouth and eyes and the app twists and distorts the face with horrifying reality and just as horrifying sound.
I pulled up one of my best renditions of a Zombie and let it go crazy for Dylan. As part of the program if you touch the screen near its mouth it will bite at you.  It is scary because it is so startling. And Dylan and I were having fun watching the Zombie take virtual bites out of our fingers.  I said, "Now the sound it really cool, but I'm not sure why we can't hear it."  I turned the sound up a bit but still nothing.
After only a couple more bites of the Zombie,Sandi comes running back into the kitchen a little out of breath and she looks a little pale.  If she had the energy in that moment she would have probably yelled at us, but her voice was calm and measured. She said, "Oh My God, you scared me nearly to death." Now I know that my wife's tastes do not run as Gothic as mine and that is why I waited until she was out of the room to show Dylan the Zombies.  But I didn't understand how she could be scared on the other side of the house. She continued...
"I am in the bedroom looking in the closet when I heard this weird breathing and growling,  I turned around to see what it was and although nothing was there I heard something snap at me as if trying to take a bite out of my leg."
It was then I remembered falling asleep the night before listening to the radio app on my iPad.  I   adjusted it to play the sound wirelessly through my bedroom speakers. I love that feature. I can have great music or radio on good speakers in my bedroom, controlled by my portable device.  That connection was still working quite well as Dylan and I were playing, tease the snapping Zombie.  Unknown to us at the time, the reason we are not hearing the gruesome sound is because it was blasting away in the back bedroom for the benefit of my unsuspecting wife.  When we put the haunting experience in perspective we laughed a lot, and I immediately changed the delivery of the sound.
Some in my family will contend  this is just another example of my continuing damage to the nerves and psyche of those around me.  Ask my sister, both my nieces, my sons and Elaine (the little girl in our Abernathy neighborhood).  I contend that it is just a matter of bad timing and questionable judgement as a kid with no intent to warp my family and my loved ones.  However, I am sure that no jury would acquit me on charges of "gas lighting" those around me. 
But really, your Honor, this haunting was just an accidental speaker connection.
As you were,


Tonda said...

This gave me the best laugh I've had in a long time (not at Sandi's expense though!) Just remembering the fun times and your unique YOUness that we love so much. Still makes me laugh a day later and I expect always will. I love you, Brother.

Monica said...