Saturday, September 06, 2008

Editors Final Note:
Mr. Helmhurst. We are awaiting an acceptable blog from your client. If an acceptable blog is received, we will certainly publish it as soon as it is received. So far the submissions of his so called stream of consciousness have been under whelming.

Here are just a few of the titles that have been submitted to our editorial staff this week from your client, Jay Johnson:

"Wintergreen LifeSavers explode when mixed with bleach ", "How long does it take a hamster to suffocate?" "Cats, do they make good candles?" "American Indians, Red and communist." "If there are jellyfish where is the jam?" and "How much do you have to take to feel like you are flying." None of these articles/essays were amusing or funny. In fact the "Cats verses candles" essay can only be classified as disturbing.

We are ready to publish, Is Jay Johnson ready to deliver? We are prepared to go dark with this publication as early as Monday, Sept. 8th unless there is a blog that is publishable and ready to go. We do not mean dark in the way that you have tried to couch his artistry, but dark in the notion that there will be no publication for that day.

We are ready. Please send us material, your legal posturing be damned we are on the right side of history on this topic.

Thank you,
J. Arthur Tildad
Editor at Large


Roomie said...

Where are "John" and "the Wiz" when you need them? We are still very confused by all this "madness" and wonder just whose mind and hand this is coming from. Is it the law firm that was once owned by "Alfred" LUNT and "Lynn" FONTAINE. Who is this "Tildad" person? I can't even remember the other names, except for the fact that the "proposed" titles of several of the "bloggings" are a bit disturbing. TAOP is glad you said NOTHING about "yorkies." Carry on, I suppose and LOL from

Kenny Croes said...

I'd offer a more lengthy response to Mr. Tildad's post, but I just gotta see if Wintergreen Lifesavers actually DO explode in bleach.
(Off-camera): "Honey... where do we keep the Clorox?"

Bob Conrad said...

You need a better lawyer, try Dewey, Cheetem and Howe. They're the best. Have been used by many entertainers including Soupy Sales and Henny Youngman.

Bob Conrad