Wednesday, January 24, 2007

"Avast ye Land bubbers!"
I am so glad to be back on dry land, blogging at my leisure. It was exactly 13 hours from the time I left the Enchantment of the Seas in Grand Cayman until I arrived in Los Angeles. Very long day and more than a little disorienting. I still have sea legs; it takes awhile for your body to readjust to solid footing.

Most of the Captains in the fleet are Scandinavian, and their accents make them hard to understand over the ships public address system. The Enchantment is no exception. Every comic (and ventriloquist) has some “Captain” material making fun of that fact. My friend Bob has some very pointed Captain/drunken sailor remarks that I could never get away with saying on stage.

With that thought in mind, the last show on the ship was by far my best. It was the second show that night; the theater was totally full. They were an exceptionally good crowd, and I was on a roll (that’s why there’s butter on my pants – Old joke, had to go for it)

I come off stage to what I know will be a curtain call, and in the backstage darkness run right into a very tall man in uniform. In a very familiar Scandinavian accent I hear him say, ”Mr. Jenson cump ear, pleeze..” Which translates “Mr. Johnson come here.” It is the very Captain that Bob has just been ragging on during the show.

At that moment the Cruise director calls me back on stage to acknowledge a huge standing ovation. I say, “I’ll be right back, Captain, Sir,” and run onto the stage again.

It is great to see the theater on its feet, I should be basking in the glory, but all I can do is try and remember the things Bob said about the Captain hoping he has a better sense of humor than grasp of the English language. In my many years of being on a ship I have never had the Captain come back stage during one of my shows. Most of the time I never even meet the Captain.

I milk the bow as long as I can, but finally have to return back stage to face the Master of the Ship. He stands for a minute trying to figure out what to say. Finally he says, “I camp boc steege to say, you er veddy goot.” I interpret that as a compliment and say, “I guess you heard all the bad things Bob said about you?”

He says, “No. I dunt understand his accent.”
As you were,
Jay

5 comments:

FiftyNinth said...

Your blog cracks me up. Welcome back!

the other one said...

"Vent narrowly escapes the plank due to language barrier!"

You are one lucky guy.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful story!

Anonymous said...

roomie,
Check your c phone for my message while you were on the high seas, and call me and let me know how you are or at least email me. How long are you home? North Louisiana misses you as does Mandy and me, I guess, because I forgot your name. When were you here? Were you really?
Carry on,
d&m

Anonymous said...

My wife and I were at Jay's second show on the Enchantment of the Seas and thought it was the funniest entertainment we've ever seen! We both had tears rolling down our faces and were exhausted from laughing so long and so hard.

All our fellow cruisers who made it to the shows thought it was fantastic also.