Tuesday, June 17, 2014


Today is introspection day.  It's all about me so if you want to skip this one... it's okay. No hurt feelings and your Karma will not be effected. Most of these kind of blog posts end up in my journal and I am the only reader.  But there comes a time when you have to say something out loud, in public, to own it.  Edward Albee said, "I write to know what I am talking about".  That is surely true about this post...(and don't call me Shirley)  Also, you never know.... thoughts are things that float around and maybe this same "thing" has caught your attention as well.
I think I know what the word success means.  And the word is a part of almost every aspect of my life.  I want to be a successful Husband, Father, friend and human being.  It also applies to school and career; whatever I find myself doing in life I want to be successful, I want to have success.  Have success, like it is something one can possess. 
Possession is sometimes thought of as the direct result of success so it is easy to beleive it can be owned.  If I am successful then I can, __________ (fill in the blank). 
And perhaps most of us, like I do, dwell on the perks of success. We dwell on how it will be and what I will do with success when I own it. Unfortunately that daydream is not a complete picture.
To attempt a metaphor, you can not have the joy of riding a bike without the effort of pedaling.  If the pedaling gets to be too much for you and you quit, there will come a time when your momentum stops and you crash.  In fact if pedaling is so unpleasant to you, then the thought of having to "go through" that effort might keep you from ever getting on a bicycle. If riding is success then pedaling is the cause,  one follows the other. They exist together.
On the cusp of something exciting happening in my experience I usually can talk my self out of it unless I am very careful. In essence, I fear the success because I know, at this point in my life, it will involve pedaling.  
Most of the time it is not conscious. After the fantasy of "owning" the success cools then the reality of what that success brings kicks in.  If you win 300 million dollars in a lottery, you might pay 100 million in taxes.  If you are concerned with that kind of a tax bill then you are already starting to fear success. Success is part of life and life is constant change. Embrace the change and enjoy the success or refuse to make a move and evenually be covered in the dust of those rushing past you.  

Here is an affirmation for self:  By constant contemplation of the things that might go wrong in stepping forward you are rehearsing the negative.  If you are going to rehearse that which is yet to manifest then rehearse the joy of the bike ride not the stress of the pedaling. 
As you were,

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