Monday, February 15, 2010

A Rose By Any Other Name
Happy Presidents Day. I don't mean to imply this is a day for celebrating Happy Presidents; I mean that it is Presidents Day and you should have a Happy one.

Before my friend Larry Imes died four years ago he used funny fake names every time he wrote me an email. I got messages from Anna Ceptic... registered nurse, Sir Wran Rapp... Arab sheik, Shomeeda Kash... hooker, Nita Fixx... drug addict. Not only were the names clever, they were also relevant to the message or to his feelings at the time. I started keeping a list so I wouldn't forget them; now I have forgotten what I did with the list.

This is for you Larry.

There was a nice Italian family with the nice Italian last name of Cianci. They had a little girl and they named her Nancy Ann. So... her name was Nancy Ann Cianci, which rhymes with the tattle tail song of "neener neener, neeener".

The Hogg's were a very wealthy family in Texas. Mr. Hogg made lots of money and donated enough to build Hogg Auditorium at the University of Texas. Mr. Hogg's oldest daughter, a debutant, rose to the apex of Texas society. Her name, Ima. Ima Hogg ... wealthy Texas socialite.

In honor of Presidents Day this one is new on the list. A man named Lloyd Friedus (pronounced "Freed Us") had a son. He wanted name his son after President Abraham Lincoln, but the name Abraham seemed dated and too ethnic. So, he decided to name the boy, Lincoln. His name would be...
Lincoln Friedus.

Happy President's Day
Haywood U. Blome, Congressman... District 9

As you were,
Jay

3 comments:

Bob Conrad said...

Soup Sales was a master of fake names. On his radio show his band leader was Darrel B. Mortocome, and the trumpet player was Chester Jigalow. He had many more that I don't remember.

JAY JOHNSON said...

Bob Conrad, you reminded me of a W.C. Feilds name, not for himself but for a nephew he only referred to on his radio show as Chester. The show was sponsored by Lucky Strike Cigarettes. The nephew's name was changed when the sponsor put it together... Chester Fields (A rival tobacco company at the time)
Jay

Neale Bacon said...

Jay,

Fields also often wrote his script under fake names. My favorite was Mahatma Kane Jeeves (as in My hat, my cane, Jeeves)