Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Lucy! Ju got some splainin' to do..."
I call it "my office" at the house, but since "the house" also belongs to Sandi it is community property. I share the computer, the desk, the files, the paper clips and the entire space with her. All of this is really not that unusual since we have shared our lives and two kids together for several decades.

For the most part she uses the office pays the bills, writes the checks and make sure the corporation is running smoothly. Me? Well, I use the office to store puppets, write, draw and rehearse. Sandi has a stack of "to do" papers on the desk that I affectionately call "the rats nest", and I have my stack of important correspondence on the other side that she refers to as "the mess." Several times a month I go through "the mess" and shred the papers that are no longer relevant in my life.

I know better than to pass judgment on "the rat's nest" having made that mistake before. Assuming I could shred what seems like pure trash has caused me problems in the past; as I am clearing my "mess" I try not to bother "the nest". But in some cases I feel the need to at least re-stack the papers of the "rat's nest" in a more orderly fashion.

That is exactly what I was doing when the paper below hidden in the rat's nest caught my eye.




It has my name, address and birth date on the form; I have circled the interesting part in red circle. It is a form, waiting for her signature to "Authorize my accidental death and dismemberment". I guess the mob has gone legit and requires authorization for punitive action. I notice that it is not yet signed by my lovely wife so I may have some time left.

Thank goodness I found this before Valentine's Day. There is a chance I can make up for whatever wrong I have done before I get dismembered. Experts say get her something that is expensive that she doesn't really need. The only thing I can think of really expensive that she really doesn't really need it a root canal.

I have some time, and now, since I know the consequences.... I better use it wisely.

As you were,
Jay

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You may be too healthy to kill any other way. Judging by the date of birth on the form, 7/11/19, you are an incredibly well-preserved 91 years old.

-Philip G.

Anonymous said...

thank you for that hearty laugh to start my day...

"if that's not love, what is?"
see ya tomorrow!

Unknown said...

Yikes! I need to check my own home's rat's nest to see if I'm in the same boat. I wonder if this isn't a secret and organized ploy to get extra-good V-Day gifts nationwide? Ah well, better not risk it. Off to "Jared's Jeweler" I go....

Linda said...

LMAO!!!

Roomie said...

Mandy and are are totally with "the other one"....whatever LMAO!!!! means....
Carry on...
B&P