Rehearsing?

Recently I was asked how often I rehearse my show/act/routines. I had to vamp a little cause I don't really have a daily time set aside to rehearse like I used to. I remember my youth was spent with countless hours in front of a large mirror specially placed on a blank wall in my room for just that purpose. I would direct a light on my face and rehearse by the hour. The bright light showed every slight motion both good and bad in glaring detail. Most of the time I would record that session on the tape recorder and play it back, also by the hour. Now with the access of video, I assume the light and mirror would be replaced with better technology. Although there is nothing easier than turning on a light and sitting down in front of a mirror. No rewinding, setting tripods and turning on the camera. It is still a pure and flawless way to practice.

I realized that my rehearsal time and style has changed since I was a kid. My schedule is pretty full so I get to rehearse my actual technique in front of audiences. I don't suggest that idea in lieu of mirror/video time, but I have hours racked up in that department and working in front of and audience it is enough for me now. The actual words for The Two and Only are a different thing. That show is an hour and forty minutes of dialogue alone (well sort of) on stage. That is something I do need to keep up with.

So in prep for the up and coming run at the Cape Playhouse what am I doing? I spend most of the down time, on a plane or in a hotel or in a waiting room going over the show in my head. I start at the beginning and run the show word for word. Probably looks to the casual viewer like I am just in a fog, but there is a performance going on in my head. I really am experiencing it as I imagine every step and every word. Other than holding for audience reaction, it feels the same to me, almost like a muscle memory of past performances.

It is a technique that has served me well. There are times when the actual performances of that show are months apart, but it still holds up and like riding a bicycle. It comes back easily because I am probably not more than a week from running the entire show in my imagination. When it is "on its feet", I can then connect with the audience from the very second I step into it again. I guess that is the peculiarity of being a ventriloquist or a solo performer, I can rehearse almost anywhere, anytime.

So, if you happen to see me sitting at the airport and I am sort of unfocused don't stare or dial 911, just clap... I am in the middle of a performance.

As you were,
Jay

Rehearsing Disaster?

Here is a conundrum. The boyscout motto is "Be prepared." To most of us that means to anticipate results that may happen and have a plan of action. In Los Angeles we are always told to be prepared for the "big one". To anyone who's mind is not in the gutter that means a big earthquake. Geologists insist that we live on borrowed time from the San Andreas fault daily. I have been in LA for 32 years and have experienced only one major earthquake. It was enough to let me know tectonic playfulness is not a fun ride, and although not an experience I would want to repeat.. for us it was not a biblical disaster.

But here is the conundrum "being prepared" conjures for me. It amounts to rehearsing a disaster before it happens. Time is taken out of the good times to rehearse some really bad times. Aren't we then just experiencing the bad times twice instead of once? You really can't rehearse something that doesn't happen on cue, so at best it becomes an imaginative romp.

Disaster training can give you a sense of what might happen but it is only a semi educated guess. On some level the more thought you put into something the more likely it is to become a belief which often becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

I remember the generally accepted plan in case of an earthquake was to get under a doorway . I spent time coaching the kids to run to the nearest doorway and ride it out. After examination of real earthquakes and the "survival zones" scientists have found that a doorway is maybe the worst place to be. Now we are encouraged to lay beside a bed or large table. The falling debris will angle up on the big object and form a triangulated area of protection space between the object and the floor. So... preparing for a disaster by running to a doorway, is actually very wrong. Some wasted prep time there.

I was also told to have flashlights around for the quake, because the electricity would go out and we would need them. I kept flashlights in every possible place, in the night stand, the kitchen drawer, under the bed... I had lots of flashlights. During the Northridge quake the reality of the event did not go as planned. You see the nightstand turned over and we couldn't get to the drawer, the kitchen was buried in about three feet of broken glass, and the flashlight under the bed ended up rolling to a corner of the bedroom we couldn't see until the lights came back on.

So here is the deal. Enjoy the NOW. Don't be stupid and play with matches while filling up your gas tank, but don't make your happy times miserable by planning on disaster. If you find you are in a situation that is suddenly dangerous, be in the now and figure out the situation that is happening. It most probably will not be, in any way, how you planned it. Our ancestors survived by dealing with a bad situation as it happened, using their wits and the intelligence they had at the moment. Human instincts are pretty good and probably will kick in naturally. That way if you do have to go through some bad times, you only have to experience it once.

As you were,
Jay

The Family Tree!

More findings from my family tree discovered by David "Oui Oui" Sinkler.

As you were,
Jay

Just Looking Around

I worked for a producer named Charles R. Meeker, Jr. for the first ten years of my professional career, basically from the age of 15 until I moved to Los Angeles at 25. He encouraged all of his performers to adopt a more mainstream attitude toward their art. (Encouraged was not really the word for Mr. Meeker, insisted and demanded is probably more his style.) He really didn't like performers who thought they were entitled just because they happened to be talented. We were never allowed to act like the world owed us something because we were lucky enough to be able to dance or sing or do ventriloquism. It was our job and we should try to fit in. So... I guess that attitude comes second nature to me now.

However, sometimes I really do forget that not everyone makes a living talking to a puppet. Or I forget that some might look at my career as "different". Like the other day when someone walked into my office and gasp at the head hanging on my wall. "Yipes... what is that?" they said.
"Oh that... it's just the bronze death mask of Edgar Bergen," I replied. Then it comes clear to me that maybe I shouldn't try to pretend that all is normal at the Johnson house.

Bergen's "death Mask" has been hanging on my office wall for a long time. It was a gift from who else but my friend Harry Anderson. I don't know where he found it, but some how he knew it had to go on my wall. He was right, I can't think of too many people who could fully appreciate the significance of a gift like that.

It isn't really a death mask, but it is a cast of Bergen's face done in bronze. I am guessing it started life as a plaster cast for a makeup test when Mr. Bergen was doing movies. Someone had the idea to turn it into art. Someone else had the idea to give it to me and I had the idea to hang it on the wall with my animation cel collection. Sometimes you just have to look up from the keyboard to find an inspiration.

I want to thank you for all the emails and comments concerning yesterday's "blues blog." I think I was just worn out from a long trip and an odd show. Thanks for reading, writing and friending.

As you were,
Jay

Writers Block or Common Sense?

I can't think of a single thing I am contemplating today, or anything I plan to accomplish today which could possibly interest anyone else. I am suddenly losing perspective on this whole digital ethernet, blogging, Facebooking, Twittering informational complex. I have been writing a blog for several years now consistently, but I no longer remember why.

Why do I think that electronic friends, much less people called "followers" care what I am doing right now? There is just too much mundane information floating around with no purpose. And why am I contributing to the digital pollution? Why would I even write a blog about not having anything to write about? Isn't this the problem? I am writing and I can't shut up.

I have to sit down and think about this for awhile, take inventory, figure out what is important and if you are reading this, perhaps you need to do so as well.

I'll get back to you.
Jay

If you take any number, multiply by 700, divide it by two, subtract the date and time of the current day, find the square root times Pi,
add your birth date expressed as a six place number plus four,
express that quotient as the denominator of a fraction in eights,
then subtract the original number....
you will get the exact time of your birth expressed in centimeters.
It's easy... give it a try.
Believe it? Why Not?

Here at the lovely hotel where I find myself today, there is a beautiful artificial waterfall. It was designed to be an inspirational setting for weary road warriors like myself, created to sit beside and meditate. Not a place to generate income but a restful place to close out the noise of commerce.

I am aware of a man who is paying little attention to this beauty. His focus is on a blackberry held at his chest, head down, thumb typing a long entry.

Why is he not enjoying the beauty of this setting? Why is he not in the "now" feeding his artistic soul with the sites all around him? His gaze and his attention are captured by a screen that would be exactly the same were he any where else. Will he remember that the text he wrote this day was the result of inspiration from an environment he fails now to even acknowledge? Will the beauty of the waterfall be recalled at a later "now" to be only a reconstructed memory of the past?

All these things go racing through my mind as I realize that I am that man with the blackberry. There is no one else around. Am I experiencing it or am I just blogging about it. Living it only through the telling?

You would think the answers to my own questions would be much easier to solve.

Have a great weekend and don't forget to look up and see where you are.

As you were,
Jay
www.monkeyjoke.com

Winging to Orlando this morning facing the never ending battle between safe air travel and sanity. I have found the TSA monkeys are more civilized earlier in the day. Perhaps it is because my perceptions are not as sensitive in the morning.

I don't know where they go to recruit Airport security agents but I am always aware they are postal workers with the power to detain.

I am off to host a corporate talent show. Employees of a large company are "putting on a show". In my years of doing corps this is a first. Contractually they have me watching rehearsal to add what ever knowledge of performing I can impart to the participants. "Don't quit your day job" comes to mind immediately. More about that in the next chapter.
As you were,
Jay

www.monkeyjoke.com

Hollywood!

I really had nothing to write about today, and I don' t want this blog to turn into some sort of "I just gave the dog a bath" kind of Twitter information. So, I had essentially blown off an entry today and decided to walk up to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I have blogged about that place before. It is usually full of writers who need to be seen writing on their computers to feel complete. Sometimes I can find inspiration there and this time I did find something to write about.

As I walked in the door there was a guy walking in with me who looked familiar. We go through this recognition ritual all the time in LA; do you know this person because you know them or do you just know their work from movies or TV? This is also my neighborhood and I'm never sure if a familiar face is a neighbor, or the clerk at another store or exactly who it is at first. The unwritten rule states that you never say, "Don't I know you?" like you would in Dallas or Memphis.

I executed some covert glances at him as we are waiting to order our Ice Blended Mocha's. He was just too familiar to let it go. I knew I had just seen him somewhere very recently but couldn't place where that might be. I was just about to give up when it hit me. I know this guy from my blog.... yesterday. It is Tony Dow.

Had I not published a recent picture of him on the blog yesterday, I probably would not have even given him a second glance. But there he was in the flesh, looking a little better than the picture with Eddie and the Beaver. In fact what grabbed my attention at first was how distinguished he looked, silver surfer hair not receding as much as in the picture and dressed in a Tommy Bahama shirt. He is about my height.

He caught me looking at him and I immediately knew what he was thinking. I could read his mind, in fact, I think I have thought the same thing several times myself. He was thinking, "I don't know you, and you don't know me... I'm not in the mood to relive my part in an old television show, just let me get my Mocha and get out of here." That is exactly how it went down. I had no interest in proving that my memory was still functional at my age. He had no interest in hearing how long ago "Leave it to Beaver" was on the air. So there was not interaction other than waiting together for the Mochas.

I have not thought of that actor or "Leave it to Beaver" for years. Then in the space of 48 hours I go from "where are they now" in my blog to "Close encounters of the third kind" on a trip to get coffee. Something like that is more likely to happen in New York City than Encino, but experiences always happen where you are at the time. I guess you just have to be looking for some sort of writing inspiration.

It is a shame that none of the writers working on their computers at the Coffee Bean looked up, maybe it would have helped them write. It worked for me.
As you were,
Jay

Ken Osmond, Jerry Mathers and Tony Dow
Better known as
Eddie Haskell, Beaver and Wally Cleaver
As they are today.....

"Ward.... I think there is something wrong with the Beaver."
- June Cleaver

As you were,
Jay

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Aquarius – Since there is no end to your service to others, you need to find time for yourself. You do not need to make sure the entire world is happy before you smile. It is the reverse, smile and the world is more likely to become happy. You need to be of service to yourself as well in these times.

Pisces – Some things that make you mad are but sheets in the wind. They billow, snap and wave for your attention, but they are not taunting you. It is but movement trying to make you charge. It is but an illusion and like a fog on the water is not aware its movement taunts. Dismiss it.

Aries- The world will not come to you so you will have to go to them. Keep pushing no matter how many people try to distract you. There are those who will poke at you and tease you but you will soon leave them behind. Push forward, stand your ground if that doesn’t sound like a contradiction to you then you have found the way.

Taurus – The self-analyzing you are doing is not just looking into a mirror. The very act of observing changes the experiment. What personality is it that looks at you? They are both you but both different. Be yourself and know that we are all complicated combinations.

Gemini – Tough Love is sometimes required and necessary. However, don’t forget that you can catch more flies with honey. There are times that you just need to acknowledge that someone is hurting. They will correct themselves if given enough positive love. Why do you always need to be the one who pushes the lessons in their faces?

Cancer – Your visions are coming together and the future you see is happening. It has become obvious the last couple of years that you can affect your future so always see the good and prosperous, not the shadow and unhappy. Come out of that shell and become your future now.

Leo – It is a roller coaster or maybe a yo yo. Just about the time you are feeling that life has hit bottom there is a new light. Things change and the way to be happy is to fall in love with change. Nothing lasts forever good times will be followed by tough times, but the good will be here again before you know it. Love the ride.

Virgo – Always being ready to pounce is exhausting. You can keep a look out; protect your family and yourself while relaxing at the same time. Your experience will see you through. Even with your guard down you are shielded by what you know.

Libra – Maybe you should move from your comfort zone and stretch a little. Look into another career while you have this job in hand. It is not that this job is bad it just may not be sustainable. It might not be the future that you want.

Scorpio– The idea of embodying angelic qualities may not appeal to you, but that is who you are. Acting out in denial or trying to show that you are something you are not leads nowhere. You will never be fully realized until you embrace the spiritual side of existence.

Sagittarius – True friends are always there. Others who are not true friends will try to confuse you. Don’t worry, the truth will always come out, and the more you do not resist the truth, it will come out faster. Parasites usually flee from the light. Once you have cast a light on them they will evaporate.

Capricorn – Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey.

Air Travel

Yesterday the FAA mandated that all Boeing 767 and 757's be retrofitted with an automatic fuel pump cut off. It is designed to keep the fuel pump from sparking and causing a mid-air explosion if the fuel tank is empty. Sounds like the government is really taking care of us air travelers, but that's not the full story.

It seems the mandate came about because of the midair explosion of a 757 back in 1996. Boeing suggested that their 757 air planes be retrofitted with the pump cut off two years ago. The government decided to require it be done yesterday.

1996? Are you kidding me? Boeing and the FAA thought there might be a problem with the fuel pumps 13 years ago and they are just now requiring Airlines to comply? For the last decade we have been playing Russian Roulette by boarding a plane?

The point can be made that we haven't had a mid air plane explosion in that time but, Los Angeles has not had an earthquake of any magnitude since 1994. I don't think that means we don't need to have emergency supplies around.

When I heard this report on the news no one said why it has taken so long to correct a problem that even the manufacturer was aware of. I can't figure it out, even accounting for the snail's pace at which the government works. Makes you wonder what other little time bombs have yet to be addressed in the airline industries.

Next week I have to be in Orlando. How long will it take the Airlines to retrofit those planes now that they are required to do it? Probably not before I have to get on a plane. If I start now I can drive it and be there just in time for sound check. Fly safe fellow road warriors.

As you were,
Jay

Correction!

In my post entitled "Jimmy and Sammy" on July 31 there is a correction to be made. On that date one of the paragraphs read:

"Sammy did his last show with Francisco Saturday night at the convention. On stage after the performance donated Francisco to the Museum where he will take up a position of silent spokesman to an act Sammy has done 2500 times in his life."

A day later I received this email from Sammy:

"Thanks so much for the kind words and thoughts. HOWEVER..... make that 25,000 performances, not 2500, in my lifetime. "

That number has now been corrected in the original for people who research old posts.

Although to a dyslexic like myself 2500 and 25,000 would appear to be the same... there is obviously a vast difference. I certainly did not want to slight the impressive career of one of my favorite performers.

And as it turns out Sammy King does read this blog....

On a similar note, Sammy sent me a picture taken at the convention. It is of Brad Cummings, Jimmy Nelson, Jeff Dunham and Sammy. Seen below:

He said... "I wished you had been in that picture too."

Well, through the miracle of photo shop and a couple hours of work... wishes can come true.

If the Warren Commission would have had access to photoshop when it was investigating the Kennedy Assassination there would be pictures of Lee Harvey Oswald shooting the gun with a sign that says... Lone gunman.

Thanks for the email Sammy.

As you were,

Jay

What's a BFF?

Once in a lifetime you connect with a person who becomes your Best Friend Forever.

It was a chance meeting at the Circus Circus Reno showroom with a guy who was hired to be my opening act. I don't know what draws a comic magician to a ventriloquist, but it was an instant connection.

I became the "roper" to the "wise guy", the pitchman to the carnival lifestyle of Harry Anderson. Before the two weeks were up at the Reno gig we had hustled the pit bosses, played on the trapeze and cuffed the head of security with his own handcuffs. They closed the showroom after we left and turned it into a Keno parlor.

It was the crest of "Soap" for me, but Harry went on to become the star of "Night Court", "Disney's Absent-Minded Professor" and "Dave's World" as well as several network and cable specials, most of which I participated in either by producing or performing in or both. We co-wrote scripts, acts and I even wrote the introduction to a couple of his books. For a while we were developers for Macintosh software, and even converted a Mac program into an application we sold to Disney.

But live shows were where we really excelled. We did annual Halloween shows and April Fool's shows and New Year's Eve shows at any venue that would let us do our thing, mostly during the rock and roll days of the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. We would spend more time and energy in producing those shows than we did for NBC or CBS.

After his series ended Harry moved to a Green and Green mansion in Pasadena. We converted his basement into a "walk through" spook house that took months to construct. For a party of special invitees one Halloween we tricked, amazed and scared a group of friends with every illusion we could come up with at the time. It was special enough that David Copperfield flew in, before we took it apart, for a command performance. After we tried to establish several companies together we realized that having fun together was much more interesting to us than trying to make a buck. My wife says, "Jay and Harry play together very well." It was Harry who coined the phrase that became the title to my Broadway show, "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only."

Harry moved to New Orleans where he opened a magic shop and nightclub called "Oswald's Speakeasy" dedicated to Lee Harvey Oswald. There was a drink called the "single bullet" and a "grassy knoll". The men's room was papered with the Warren Commission report. Harry's act was the main attraction. We made a deal that I would come into the club and do my act several times a year so he could go on vacation. The club was going strong for several months, and I was ready one week end to come down and survey the club for my show. I never made it. That very weekend the airport closed due to something called Katrina. The town was never the same, Harry closed the shop, sold the club and moved to North Carolina.

After 30 years of friendship it is not so surprising that he would fly across the country to celebrate my birthday a couple of week-ends ago. There were other friends there, but we could have had a great time just the two of us. As usual his toast was the highlight of the evening. His funniest line, "You have to remember, I knew Jay Johnson before he was what he no longer is today."

My Buddhist friends say we are friends now because of our connection in a previous life. I don't know about that, but I hope we find each other in the next one. Harry always says, "Friends are the family you get to choose". I am godfather to his kids and he is godfather to mine, so I guess we made it official.

I don't know why I feel compelled to write about this in the blog except to say this. Hold your friends dear, friendship is one of the great gifts we humans have been given. Don't let friends slip away even if they move across the country. In today's high tech world distance is no barrier. Make sure you tell the people close to you that you value the gift of their very existence.

BFF is thrown around on the Internet like it was a :) or "sincerely" attached to a letter. Not to me... if I use it, I want to mean it. In this case it could not be more accurate, to me my BFF is a BFD.

As you were,

Jay

Life through a Lens

I probably don't take enough photos to document my experiences. However, I decided when the kids were young that I did not want to experience them growing up through a video camera lens. There were so many school plays that I didn't get to enjoy simply because I was watching it through the tiny view finder of a video camera. So perhaps I could do a better job of journalizing through pictures. But there is more excitement in actually being there in the moment and not trying to capture it for someone else who isn't.

With that preamble, below is a quick video of the Vent Haven exhibit that was done for me at the convention. The lady who is featured is Lisa Sweasy the former curator at the Museum. She is a very funny person and knows more about the collection and Mr. Berger than most anyone around. At the end are Bryan and Marge Simon who really were the sparks to get me going on the donation. They also produced the documentary on ventriloquism "I'm no Dummy"

Soon to be released by Salient Media. It is a great documentary... you should check it out.

This Video is intended to show the exhibit in an interesting way. There are just enough photos for me to remember the time without sacrificing actually being there behind a camera. Hope you enjoy

As you were,

Jay

Venting

I usually don't attend the vent conVENTion in Ft.Mitchell, KY because it happens at the same time of the year as the Bohemian Grove Encampment. Since I wasn't at the Grove this year and really can't discuss the Bohemian Club anyway, here is my essay on "What I did last summer".

If you don't know Vent Haven museum or haven't heard about the ConVENTion held in Ft. Mitchell, KY each year, you probably think ventriloquism is just juggling with your vocal chords.

The short version of a very long story is: William Shakespeare Berger was a businessman who became fascinated by ventriloquism at an early age. His collection of vent figures, letters, and photos of ventriloquists grew to the largest of it's kind and is now a museum open to the public. For more information go to: Vent Haven Museum.

This year I donated some of my memorabilia to Vent Haven including a couple of my early partners, posters, pictures and the actual Spaulding I used on Broadway. I attended the the induction of my display into the museum, which took place convention week, and performed for the attendees as well.

Lisa Sweasy and Jen Dawson, the curators of the museum, did an incredible job of sorting, coordinating, documenting and displaying the "stuff". Above is a picture of me admiring the first Squeaky and Friendly Firefly.

It is a very odd thing to walk around a display of your life's work. There is an odd sense of detachment but "time bomb memories" suck you into a recollection very quickly dispelling neutrality. At one moment the observer becomes the observed and interest turns to embarrassment. There are pictures that graphically point to the realization that I am not 15 years old anymore. Puppets older than my children, and letters I wrote to Mr. Berger 40 year ago. It all seems so heady to be the subject of a museum display, but it is also frightening. The icons of your life seems to objectify your own mortality.

The most heart grabbing piece of the collection is a letter Lisa found in Squeaky's case. It is from my Mom to me talking about the adventure we had creating Squeaky. She placed it there when she sent me the puppet decades ago.

It speaks to all parents who have a "creative" child and the special skills required to keep them motivated, encouraged and out of trouble. If my Mom had not been so incredibly imaginative, creative and artistic; my life would be very different now. If performing was not there to occupy my dyslexic brain it would have surely lead me to a less than satisfactory life. That letter from my Mom touched and encouraged every parent who attended the convention with their child.

Lisa said that maybe the letter was too personal and I would want to take it back. It is personal but what it says is universal. It belongs with that character for all time. Lisa assured me that Mom's letter will be permanently linked to my exhibit. That is a perfect tribute to the real artist in my family.

Jeff Dunham was at the convention. He rarely misses it. I did not try to recruit him for the Bohemian Club so he will probably be free to attend again. The Sunday after the convention he had a show in Louisville a couple hours away. Since I had never seen his arena show I rode with him, his girlfriend Audrey, Brain Haner (guitar guy and opening act) Brian's wife Suzy, Robin the road manager and a little dog named Roady on the tour bus to the Louisville arena.

This is not the venue for a review of Jeff's show. I'm not sure I could give an accurate unbiased account. I am way to close to Jeff and his chosen art form to see the forrest. However, I had a great time watching from the audience with Tom Ladshaw in a roped off VIP section of leather easy chairs brought from the traveling green room of the Dunham road machine.

After the show we had dinner and flew back to Encino on Jeff's plane. It sure beat the two hour lay over in Chicago I was facing flying commercial. Jeff dropped me off at my house since we now live on the same street.

All in all it was a very interesting weekend, very comparable to a weekend at the Grove.... but I still can't talk about that.
As you were,
Jay

According to the National Board of Numbers, one-hundred out of thirty-four people do not understand statistical data.
Believe it? Why Not?

Jimmy and Sammy

It is a bold sign of getting older when you start complaining about how fast the time is going. At the risk of showing more age than I wish to acknowledge, "Where has the summer gone?" I have now been out of school longer than I was in school, but I still get a knot in my stomach when I see "back to school" ads on television. As a kid it meant that my freedom was about to come to an end. Old anxiety triggers are very hard to over come.

I attended the 2009 Ventriloquist ConVENTion in Ft. Mitchell, Kentucky a couple of weekends ago. I had a great time, highlighted by being able to pal around with some of my ventriloquist heroes like Jimmy Nelson and Sammy King. I can't begin to acknowledge the influence each one of these guys had on my career. It was great to get a private tour of the special exhibit Lisa Sweasy and Jen Dawson did for me at the Museum. Even more exciting was being able to invite Jimmy, Sammy, Brad Cummings, Jeff Dunham and Tom Ladshaw to the private venture. It is a time that I will not soon forget.

Jimmy Nelson could be in my opinion the second nicest person in the world, second only to his wife Betty. I call Jimmy the Godfather of ventriloquism, at least in my perception of it. He has perhaps done more for the art form than any other vent. You can talk about Bergen and Winchelle, but they were just highly visible. Jimmy was always approachable, giving and supportive of other vents and young kids like me who wanted to follow in his footsteps. He attends every convention, lectures, discusses and helps anyone he can.

Sammy has always been like my big brother who was always out of town. In the last few years while he was at the Palm Springs Follies he was close enough for me reconnect. He was even in the Follies when my Mother in Law was the performing in the show. She used to tell me how similar I was to Sammy with our love mutual of sketching and creative endeavors. I didn't realize until this trip that Sammy made Francisco the Parrot. He said as one puppet would wear out he would make another carefully taking some piece of the worn out puppet to incorporate into the new. This continuity of the soul of a puppet certainly touches my passion.

Sammy did his last show with Francisco Saturday night at the convention. On stage after the performance donated Francisco to the Museum where he will take up a position of silent spokesman to an act Sammy has done 25,000 times in his life.

I doubt Sammy or Jimmy read this blog, but I lift an imaginary glass to you both. To the art of ventriloquism and two of the best protectors of that holy grail, all I can say is "thanks for the inspiration".

As you were,
Jay

Saturday, July 25 , 2009

Aquarius – Give out of your abundance and not out of your lack. Do not see it as the depletion of a limited amount but the flow of an infinite source. You are just the gate through which eternity flows. Share with no thought of running out and no thought of getting it back. It will always be there.

Pisces – Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey.

Aries- Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram.

Taurus – Some things that make you mad are but sheets in the wind. They billow, snap and wave for your attention, but they are not taunting you. It is but movement trying to make you charge. Stand fast, know that you are strong and do not take it personally.

Gemini – The self-analyzing you are doing is not just looking into a mirror. The very act of observing changes the experiment. What personality is it that looks at you? They are both you but both different. Be yourself and know that we are all complicated combinations.

Cancer – It is a roller coaster or maybe a yo yo. Just about the time you are feeling that life has hit bottom there is a new light. Things change and the way to be happy is to fall in love with change. Nothing lasts forever good times will be followed by tough times, but the good will be here again before you know it. Love the ride.

Leo – Always being ready to pounce is exhausting. You can keep a look out; protect your family and yourself while relaxing at the same time. Your experience will see you through. Even with your guard down you are shielded by what you know.

Virgo – The idea of embodying angelic qualities may not appeal to you, but that is who you are. Acting out in denial or trying to show that you are something you are not leads nowhere. You will never be fully realized until you embrace the spiritual side of existence.

Libra –Even when you are right it may not be correct to point that out. You have the ability to see things in a balanced way. Not every one sees the world through your scale. Do not judge but give everyone safe passage through your life.

Scorpio – It is when you are still that you find your greatest awareness. In movement you are briefly blind. Move forward with time planned to be perfectly still and understand your surroundings. It will help you avoid your enemies but it will also help you find your path.

Sagittarius – Caught between the warrior and the worker you tend to buck with the forward motion. You are both warrior and worker equally and both sides of your ego much be acknowledged. Know that weapons of war can be used as tools of peace with a correct thought. Pick a tool that can be both.

Capricorn – You sometimes think it is wishy- washy to stop and think for a moment. You are so accustomed to charging ahead, a moment’s pause is to you a sign of weakness. It is not. Stopping and kneeling in prayer can sometimes be the very best action to take. Try finding that meditation time you have neglected.

The male OHNO bird, native to the wilds of Tanzia, has genitalia longer than its own legs. The name of the species comes from the call the bird makes as it is trying to land... "OH NO, OH NO"
Believe it? Why Not?

On the Road

I guess this almost qualifies as a tweet. I don't plan to write very much.

I am off this morning for the Vent conVENTion. It is rare that I attend this gathering but I am looking forward to connecting with some old friends.

More on this adventure later. I sure do miss Jam Shade Wednesdays.
As you were,
Jay
www.monkeyjoke.com

BMW Stowaway

Saturday night about midnight as I was packing up some items in the car after a wonderful birthday party... I discovered this guy sitting in my back seat. If the intent was to un-nerve me and test the strength of my aging heart, it will take more than that. You can't scare a vampire with blood and you can't scare a ventriloquist with tools of their trade. So, I don't think my reaction was quite what as intended. I simply said, "Hello, John Henry." It was like greeting an old friend who was late to the party.

This very old figure belonged to Loring Campbell a magician ventriloquist and although I never met Loring, I certainly did know John Henry. I think Loring created John himself and he is complete with upper lip and spitter controls. Not sure how he was dressed as Loring's assistant but here he is dressed as a new boy for the Inquirer (the newpaper from Citizen Cane). Not evident in the picture is a political election button for Mayor Gaffney the mayor in the play "Harvey". Dressing like a news boy, the earliest incarnation of Charlie McCarthy, and wearing a button from a Broadway play about an imaginary character could only be the detailed work of my best friend Harry Anderson. I guess after you know someone as long as I have known Harry you can recognize their style.

John Henry now sits in the Helen Hayes chairs continually keeping vigil over the Tony. Under his mustard yellow shirt is the faded red valentine heart painted there and signed by his maker and partner Loring Campbell. It seems as if he was always there silently waiting a return to the stage. Not haunting at all, but very content to watch and wait. I guess it is up to me to write a Broadway show about this little guy.

Friends are the most valuable gift you can have. I have been blessed with so many not only of the human variety but the wooden as well.

As you were,
Jay

Encino Epilogue

They opened the Jackson's street to normal traffic Thursday. There are still a few gawkers, but the news trucks have all gone, and the flowers are withering. Things are getting back to normal in Encino. Now the full impact to the neighborhood is being assessed; it is hard to go to a store or to the post office in the area without hearing people talk about the events of the last two weeks.

There is a Gelson's grocery store just a block from the Jackson house. Some fans considered it a parking lot for their cars to join the fan parade down the street. The market tried to keep the parking lot open for actual customers, so they started marking tires and towing cars that stayed more than an hour. Even that cause congestion but seemed to be a nice thing to do for those who just had to leave flowers.

The day before the memorial service there was a very angry young girl inside Gelson's ripping the manager a new one in a very loud voice. I was trying just to shop but it was impossible not to hear her screaming. Gelsons towed her car claiming she had left it there for 8 hours, she insisted that it was there no more than an hour and demanded the market pay the towing charges.

The manager was trying to explain that they were chalking the tires and kept a record of the length of time each car was there and her car had been there all day long. She was unstoppable in her over the top demands. As I rounded the dog food aisle I finally caught a glimpse of the person yelling so loudly.

She had purple and orange hair tied in a severe pony tail on top of her head, pierced cheeks, very heavy eye shadow and pale makeup. She had a low cut black leather bustier vest laced tightly, and a neck full of gold chains. On her legs were red and white stripped stockings that looked like the ones worn by the wicked witch of the west from Oz. Flowing from her waist was a gypsy dress over a petticoat and she had on what appeared to be Elf shoes.

As I passed by she was still demanding they pay her cash for the towing charges. She claimed that the security guard (are you ready?) had mistaken her for SOMEONE ELSE. I stifled a guffaw and rounded the next aisle quickly. The only person who might have possibly mistaken her for anyone else would be Stevie Wonder. I guess to a specific segment of his fan base, Michael Jackson's odd appearance was not seen as radical.

As if to prove that life will sometimes express organic irony, the Circus opened at the Staples Center the day after Michael's memorial. This circus, however, has a definite closing date.

As you were,
Jay

Happy BirthdayJay Johnson
Working on a new Act....

"We Will Come Back"

One of the singers I worked with at Six Flags Over Texas is still a very close friend. I have known her for 43 years. She was from New Jersey, went to school in Tennessee and we met in Dallas. We reconnected in LA when Sandi and I moved here. She was then and still is the caribeaner to a performers "Mafia" who share a common theme park past. She lives about 5 minutes from my house, and my birthday party this weekend will be there. Lynn is another story for another blog although I doubt a weeks worth of blogs devoted to our friendship would scratch the surface.

With those Six Flags ties still holding firm, just this week I got an email from a Mafia member still living in Texas. She was trying to find the lyrics to a song that closed every show at Six Flags Charles R. Meeker, Jr. produced. I knew the song by the title, "We will come back". I sang it for seven years in one show or another. Those words are fixed to my brain like a crude Mexican tattoo.

Mr. Meeker didn't write the song although he changed the words. I knew the original was out there somewhere but I could never find it. Evidently my friend Linda was having the same difficulty as she was trying to locate the words to the second verse. When I got her email I immediately began to sing it and wrote her back immediately. Through an exchange of emails I found out that the actual song is titled "Maybe I'll Come Back". That is why I could never find it, I had the wrong title.

With a better search title I found it on iTunes yesterday and bought it. The best version and the one that most probably inspired Mr. Meeker was Marlene Dietrich's version. Recorded live in front of a very enthusiatic audience, listening to Dietrich sing it was an out of body experience for me. While it took me back to a time when I was 15 years old singing it at the Campus review, her version sounded more like the Madelene Kahn spoof from "Blazing Saddles."

It was always our closing number and curtain call. As I listened to Marlene sing it what struck me was what a weird number it was to close a show. It is a break up song stating strongly that the singer will never come back to some unsung relationship. The tune is very vaudevillian, but you can get the idea from the lyrics. (These are the ones I learned... only a couple of lines are different, I will come back was changed to we because it was an ensemble song)

We will come back when the elephants roost in the trees,

We will come back when the birds make love to the bees,

We will come back when the sun refuses to shine,
Angus Wynne, Jr. is a cousin of mine.
(If there was a VIP in the audience we would always change the name to theirs.)

We will come back when the fish start to jump in the bags,
We will come back when they're no longer flying Six Flags.
When the snow has turned from white to blue then maybe,
We will come back to you.

Now here is what struck me. Instead of a pleasant, "Thank You" song to end the show on a come back soon note, this song pretty much says... we ain't coming back... the show is over... go home.
Regardless of the mixed message it might have engendered it became the signature song for all of his review shows. It remains one of the few songs I can play any time by memory on the piano. In fact the family has refused to listen to it one more time, ever. Taylor has been know to leave the house if he hears the opening chord.

I guess when you are contemplating another birthday you remember little flashes like that. Perhaps some day it will make a perfect funeral song for my Staples memorial. It would fit perfectly then:
When the snow has turned from white to blue then maybe I will come back to you.

As you were,
Jay

Goofing Off

There were no helicopters to wake me up this morning. I guess the news shows can go back to covering Sarah Palin, the strangest politician of the bunch, and that is saying a lot. I have no comment on Ms. Palin, but figure if she ever runs for another office one would have to ask if she will stay with that new job more than a year.

I got up this morning thinking, "It's my birthday Saturday, so I think I will goof off." Then I asked myself, "Didn't you goof off yesterday?" Compared to a guy who works in a coal mine I probably did goof off, but it was a day not entirely devoid of creative ventures.

I am meeting with a couple of guys who have an idea for a musical. Besides just the fun of hanging out with a couple of funny guys, it is a compelling idea. Most of my mid day was spent brain storming concepts over home roasted Sumatra coffee. One of my partners is a stickler for coffee. He imports green coffee beans from a private grower and roasts them to his own taste. He throws out the beans that have come to his idea of an expiration date. The coffee is very good but very strong. I am never sure if the idea of the show is that exciting or I am having heart palpitations.

However, here is my take on writing projects: there are millions of good compelling ideas, success hinges on the writing. In fact good writing can sometimes trump a fabulous idea. Most people think the idea is the hard part, actually it's the fun part. It's akin to the make believe games that kids love to play.

A friend of mine wrote an Academy Award nominated movie and is always being "solicited" with "good" ideas. People with serious intent schedule a meeting with him to say something like, "I have this idea for a movie about a cream cheese factory." Maybe they have a loose plot or a few scenes in mind that could take place there, maybe not. At any rate they then say, "You write it and we can become 50/50 partners." Unless the guy is the caliber of Stephen Speilberg what writer would give away the profits to half of his work? And the truth is, Stephen Speiberg types are not looking for partners.

When you see a dual writing credit it means one of two things. The two people are writing partners and have a long established relationship, have worked out all the economics and write better as a team than individually. Or some unknown writer brings a finished script to a better known writer who has the clout to get it produced. The established writer will add his name, maybe make a couple of minor changes, or not, and take 50%. Writers will gladly share half the profits of someone else's work if it looks like it will get produced.

There are stories all over town about writers who get a million dollars for a script, only to have it totally rewritten by other writers at a tenth of the fee. The original writer gets screen credit and the ones doing the actual work get no recognition. If that movie becomes a hit the original writer jumps to the A list.

Okay so.. so much for my plan to goof off, it seems I started writing instead. Will someone please agree to rewrite this blog and make it better, funnier and more relevant while keeping my by line.

As you were,
Jay

Jam Shade has been Cancelled

Like all serials it just couldn't last. The Jam Shade Show has retired. National Visual Radio pulled the plug. Perhaps some day there will be a release of the "lost episodes", but I have to lose them first.

I have to admit that the ratings were not as great as the creator had hoped for. I think the only one who really read them was David Wylie and only because he is obsessed about the BFlat 7th chords and organ fills called for in the script. Well, byegood, Jam Shade ---Dyslexic Dectective... we hardly you knew.

NOTE: (Written July 7th... 5:00pm) The news trucks moved away from the Jackson Encino house this morning so a parade of black autos and limos could pick up the family. The helicopters were nosily hovering over the scene at 6:00am this morning. I did not need to tune into CNN to know that the family had gone to Forrest Lawn for a "private" ceremony, because the helicopters followed them. It was too late to go back to sleep by the time the noise stopped at eight o'clock. So, like billions of others we tuned into the "Memorial concert coverage". Some of the highlights for me was Brook Shields, Smokey Robinson, Barry Gordy and Magic Johnson. I think we could have done without the Congress woman in the only white dress with in miles of the Staples center. White? For a funeral? Did she think that Michael Jackson was a Hindu?

We were hoping that the pilgrimage to the neighborhood would stop after the service at Staples, but the news trucks are back and there seems to be the usual steady stream of fans. The Encino residents have grown tired of the traffic snarls. Tonight there is a meeting to see what can be done. I was never much for the Encino Homeowners Association so I won't be attending. It is a touchy situation. Katherine Jackson has lived in this neighborhood much longer than most anyone in the association. This is certainly not anything the family is encouraging and it is a tragedy of global interest. If the news media trucks would go away it would help. I figure the family is as ready to move on and get back to normal as is the neighborhood. We shall see what comes of this.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE: it is my birthday on Saturday. A couple of papers stated my birthday was last week, making me a week older than I am. I am not rushing to maturity like I did when I was eighteen. I will milk every day I can from this year.

So, a friend (along with the help of the lovely Sandra Johnson) is throwing me a birthday party, and other friends are flying in for the occasion. Because our friend is having the spectacle at her house Sandi and I are providing the drinks for the masses. This meant a trip to Costco for large quantities of adult beverage yesterday.

We pushed a very full cart to the check out loaded with nothing but industrial size booze containers. After scanning nothing but alcohol for a minute or two the girl at the register said,
"Having a Party?" Smart ass birthday boy replied, "No, I just got a liver transplant and I want to test the new one out." She actually thought that was funny and laughed out loud.

As we left the bag-boy said, "Have a good day," to which I replied, looking at the bulging cart... "How can we not?" Two scores for me. Two laughs in 10 minutes. I may be getting older, but I still got it.

Got what?

Uh..what were we talking about? Oh..... look over there, a five year supply of Costco peanut butter in an oil drum.

As you were,
Jay

HOT DOG
NO BLOG TODAY

Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy Birthday America

Aquarius – Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both.

Pisces –You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles.

Aries- Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals.

Taurus –Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion.

Gemini –Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down.

Cancer –Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey.

Leo – Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram.

Virgo –You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram. Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness.

Libra –Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram. Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache.

Scorpio - Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram. - Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way

Sagittarius – You are guaranteed to get a headache if you use your as just a battering ram. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. Don’t lower your head and try to break through an obstacle.

Capricorn – The idea of embodying angelic qualities may not appeal to you, but that is who you are. Acting out in denial or trying to show that you are something you are not leads nowhere. You will never be fully realized until you embrace the spiritual side of existence.

Episode #11

(CONTINUED)

POWERS LUNCHE AND JAM SHADE STILL ON THE STREETS OF CARNALDALE

SFX - STREET NOISE AND SLIGHT PANIC IN THE BACKGROUND

POWERS LUNCHE
Jam, do you mean?............

JAM
Yes. We won’t know what has happened to the Blonde
or why she has been shot by her own hand gun until…

POWERS LUNCHE
Until what….?

JAM
Until the next episode of

JAM SHADE THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER
Jam Shade….

MUSIC STINGER – BFLAT 7th CHORD

ANNOUNCER
Decetive Dyslexic…

POWERS LUNCHE
Well there you have it Hinkley.. the story is
There is no story until we return to the actual story.
So this is Powers Lunche throwing it back to
The National Visual Radio news desk and your Anchor
Hinkley Kelly.

RADIO STATIC – MICROPHONE CHANGE

HINKELY KELLY
Well there you have it we will have the story when we have the story
And we will be here to bring you the story when the story becomes a story.
And now back to the story…

ANNOUNCER
Jam sat with the Blonde on the street. The ambulance arrives and two attendants exit.
They rush to the scene of the shooting.

SFX - SIREN WAILING TO A STOP - VAN DOORS SLAMMING

PARAMEDIC
Wow... what happened here? Wait a minute that's you.... Delancy's old partner...
why you are..

MUSIC - SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN FILL

PARAMEDIC
Jam Shade….

MUSIC STINGER – BFLAT 7th CHORD

PARAMEDIC
Decetive Dyslexic…
To be
(CONT.)

Fear and Loathing of
Barbecue Grills

It was Thursday afternoon when the helicopters hovering above my head changed the headlines from "South Carolina Governor's Argentinian affair" to Michael Jacksons death. At the time I was assembling a new barbecue grill on the deck. Home Depot would assemble it for $30, but the guy at the store suggested I should do it myself to, "Know the grill better." It was a matter of saving the money rather than having "quality time" with a stove that motivated me to take the "do it yourself" challenge.

I have lived my life in the belief that instructions are for sissies. They are the course of last resort only. When all else fails, consult the directions... not the full manual, mind you, just the relevant page. This step is usually proceeded by creative uses of the "F" word.

My usual method is to look at the picture on the box, identify the parts and go for it. This generally leads to a point of absolute desperation when a part doesn't fit. If hammering and forcing doesn't work, I curse out the maker, the seller and the entire industrial manufacturing complex. It usually happens when I find out I have failed to assemble something in a specific order. Undoing good work because I missed a step requires me to throw whatever tool is at hand into the lawn. My family knows to leave the area when there is a large box delivered to the house.

This time I decided to do it by the numbers.

Page one: List of the parts. Before I can get to the actual list there is a large boxed in paragraph with the word WARNING at the top. In bold foreboding type face it tells me that if any part is not original from the box there is a danger of fire and explosion.

Page two: Assembling the parts. At the top of this page is another boxed in paragraph with the word WARNING at the top. It tells me that if the parts are not properly assembled there is an extreme danger of fire and explosion.

Page three: Assembling the burners. Another boxed in paragraph with the word WARNING at the top. If the manifold air intake is not adjusted correctly there is an extreme danger of sever burns, fire and explosion.

Page four through six: Attaching the propane tank. A boxed in paragraph with the word WARNING at the top. The gas lines and the tank must be inspected for leaks with a solution of soap and water in addition to the wields of the tank itself at least twice a year. If there is "dirt, grease or spider webs" clogging the lines there is an extreme danger of blow back, sever burns, fire and explosion.

Page seven: Lighting the grill. WARNING lite the grill in an open area by checking for leaks first, opening the top, lighting match, and then turning on the gas. If it doesn't lite immediately there is an extreme danger of flying shrapnel, blow back, sever burns, fire and explosion.

Page eight: Using the Grill. WARNING, extinguishing grease fires with water can cause scalding, blow back, flying shrapnel, flash fires and extreme danger of explosion.

By the end of the booklet only a quarter of the page contains actual instructions, most of the page is now devoted to the extremely dangerous, hazardous, risky, perilous, treacherous, unsafe, precarious, chancy, insecure nature of the very act of operating the grill.

Page nine repeats the instruction from page one only in Spanish. Of course at the top of each page is a boxed in paragraph with the word ADVERTENCIA and the admonition "extremo peligro de incendio y explosión."

It all reminds me of a joke. Parachutist jumps out of a plane. His chute tangles, he goes for his reserve but it flags in the wind. Doomed and falling fast he sees a man below coming up from the ground toward him in a hurry. Parachutist yells, "Do you know anything about Parachutes?
"No" says the man, "Do you know anything about assembling barbecue grills?"

We now have a shiny new barbecue grill ready for the traditional Forth of July cook out.... But after reading the instructions, I'm too afraid to use it. Next time I will avoid the directions. Ignorance is bliss.

As you were,
Jay

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Aquarius - Combinations of seven and six are all good for you this month. There are seven days in the week use them all to reach your destination. Today's number is nine, it will be a lucky day for you.

Pisces- Rise above the horizon so you can see what is ahead. Don't forget to plan, but let it come without forcing it. Try a more diplomatic approach and see if there is an better way to see your mate. You are in your own way.

Aries- The fountain is flowing forth more than you can accept. Do not wish for abundance when it is pours out more than you can accept. Do not water down your ideas, stay single minded and strong.

Taurus- Have you been listening to the chicken littles of the world. You know the rumor is not true, and you know things are looking up. Be happy, work at being happy. Be strong and work hard for someone else in your life.

Gemini- Try to bridge the gap between what seems to be two entirely different ideas. One looks like the beginning the other an end. You are the connection that will make them both one. Focus on the center.

Cancer- It is sometimes ego to observe yourself too much. Keep a perspective, but realize that it is you watching yourself and you can't really be objective. Others have a stake it the outcome. Don't smother people with your words.

Leo- It is a roller coaster ride for you. There have been ups and downs happening so fast you can't keep track. In fact sometimes you have mistaken a valley for a hill. Don't worry the struggle is always followed by a hill to coast down. Save your strength for the next hill.

Virgo- You want to stay home, but force yourself to get out. The more you stay in your shell the more you will spiral downward. Go to that party, it will make you feel like a different person.

Libra- The path is straight and swift for you right now. Use the strength you have now to see the goal. Become one with your goal as the arrow becomes one with the target. Celebrate.

Scorpio- Don't be over blown. You can be bigger than life, but try being better not bigger. The bigger you are the more you need to help the smaller. Take care of the little ones, human and animal.

Sagittarius- There are things you are taking for granted in your life style. Be grateful and don't over indulge. Know that this time is a gift and treat it so. You may think you are in balance, but you are just a little bit off. Change your habits just to do something different.

Capricorn- You have some bad habits that need to be looked at. It doesn't seem to matter now, but you need to correct them now while you can and have time. Others may see you as pure as the driven snow, but be honest with yourself. You know what you need to do.

Michael Doesn't Live Here Anymore

I knew something was wrong when helicopters began to hover over the neighborhood about 2:00 pm Los Angeles time. There were as many as three news choppers in the sky at once for a while. It eventually became too loud to ignore. After I knew why they were there I snapped this picture from my back yard.

When I moved to Encino there was mention of the fact that the Jackson Family home was near my house. It was not Michael's home, but he was there some of the time. A picture of Michael Jackson posing with the owner of a jewelry store at the corner of my street and Ventura Blvd. hung on the wall of the shop. Before his child molestation trial there were occasional "sitings" of Michael on Ventura. Celebrities going about their daily life is not that unusual in Los Angeles.

Celebrities always die in threes. It has become a running joke between my friend Harry Anderson and me. When two celebrities die I call him to see if he is feeling okay. Ed McMahon died, then Farrah Fawcett so I was planning to call Harry to continue the joke. Before I could my son called me from UCLA where a crowd was already gathering at the medical center. Michael Jackson was dead. "That's the third, Dad, so you don't need to call Harry, " he said.

I turned the television to CNN but it could have been any station; they were all covering the same story. It was true, the King of Pop was gone. Some of the live shots were coming from the choppers I could see and hear from my back yard. The "eyes in the sky" were focused on the Jackson Family home. It became clear that the Jackson house was much closer to me than I ever realized.

The choppers left for a while as they followed a medivac helicopter carrying Michael's body to the coroners office. Soon they were back and stayed until after 11:00pm for a live feed to the local news. We had planned dinner outside but were eventually driven indoors by the noise.

So ends the strange life of a very talented man. I think of him as the Sammy Davis, Jr. of our generation. That is if Sammy lived with a chimp at a theme park, carved his face to look like Peter Pan, bleached his face and liked small boys.

It is hard to watch the old footage of an eleven year old boy singing "ABC"as lead singer for the Jackson Five. It is all too obvious now the toll this early popularity took on the little boy. There will be questions and blame thrown toward the "handlers" and "enablers" that surrounded him at the end. We may never know what really killed him, but my bet is on fame itself.

He was a money machine who needed to generate some more cash after massive legal fees. A sold out tour was to begin in weeks. Like a pedigree race horse, any treatment, any drug, any excess would be acceptable to get him back on the track. It wasn't his bizarre life style that killed him, it was his talent, or more rightly, the fame that his talent ignited.

Now begins the funeral circus and the media frenzy that was a constant refrain to his life. For a while everyone will be asking each other, "Where were you when you heard?"

I heard helicopters.

Rest in peace Michael.

As you were,

Jay

Episode #10

(CONTINUED)
BACK TO POWERS LUNCHE ACE REPORTER ON THE STREET

POWERS LUNCHE
We will try to get someone to tell us
What they saw…. Sir.. sir… can you tell me what
Happened here… What is your name sir?

MAN
My name?

POWERS LUNCHE
Yes can you tell us your name sir?

MAN
Why don’t you know me? I’m Jam Shade…

MUSIC STINGER – BFLAT 7th CHORD

JAM
Decetive Dyslexic…

POWERS LUNCHE
You are, Jam Shade.

MUSIC STINGER – BFLAT 7th CHORD

POWERS LUNCHE
Decetive Dyslexic…

JAM
The very same. And you must be Powers Lunche
I’ve seen you on National Visual Radio… Big fan.

POWERS LUNCHE
Jam, what happened?

JAM
I don’t know I was just born this way..

POWERS LUNCHE
No. No. What happened to the Blonde who has been shot?

JAM
I don’t know… we haven’t gotten that far into the story yet?

POWERS LUNCHE
You mean?............

To be
(CONT.)