Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Naturally Occurring Ventriloquism
I have a career as a ventriloquist because of a phenomenon of human hearing and reasoning. It was never more clear to me how humans perceive sound than recently. 
A couple of nights ago the dog started to bark in the middle of the night. As she will do she came to my side of the bed and whacked me with her paw. I put on my robe and grabbed my new iPhone to see what time it was and to also use as a flashlight in the dark of night. It was a full moon lit night so so the flash light was not needed. I put the iPhone in the pocket of my terrycloth wizards robe. Boo followed me around the house as if she was looking for something but  I could find no problems.  I the dog settled down and assured her she had done her job. Although I do not like to be awaken, I want Boo to know that I appreciate her "always on guard" attitude.
As we are heading through the den back to bed I hear a faint electronic sound.  It was some electronic timer that was quietly beeping in the stillness of the night. I was not sure where it was coming from, but thought it might be a kitchen alarm for the dishwasher, coffee pot or smoke alarm. I searched the kitchen, but it seemed to be coming from the office. Since there are various electronics in that room it was logical that it might be coming from there.  But when I got to the office it seemed the sound was coming from the Living room.
I turned on some lights and began to stalk the sound, it seemed to get louder like I was getting close, but when I isolated it to a certain place it seemed to move.  
Finally I bent over a basket that was sitting resting near the piano.  As I leaned down the sound was louder. I picked it up and carried it to the den. The sound seemed to stay with me.  I figured some alarm inside the basket had gone off or the batteries were low and this was an alert. I dug through the contents but there was nothing in the basket that could be causing the sound even though I could still hear it. At this point I started to wonder if I had really waked up or was this a funny dream. It seems that a lot of my dreams involve trying to find things.
In that contemplation of current consciousness I located the sound. It was coming from the pocket of my robe. Muffled deceptively in the terrycloth was my new iPhone.  Earlier that day, I was playing with all the apps to see how they would run. I must have accidentally set an alarm on an app that I didn't know even had one.  
I was chasing a sound that was actually following me around the house.  When I bent over the basket I was closer to the sound coming from my pocket and logic took over. 
I guess I provide the same logical misdirection when I perform and my audience fills in the blanks. There is no way to know if the beeping actually woke the dog or it was a matter of strange timing that it went off at that moment.  Although it was very faint, the dog was not fooled and simply followed the sound she knew was coming from my pocket.  I am grateful for the fact that I perform for humans and not dogs. 
As you were,


Roomie said...

Mandy said to tell Boo that "he done good!!!!!"
Carry on,

Anonymous said...

I occasionally bookmark a blog I think I will be interested in, intending to revisit, but I never do. I always end up deleting the bookmarks. Yours is the only one I ever come back to. Good dog, Boo! Good humorist, Jay! :D