Monday, May 06, 2013

A Rant....

Okay we can send communications around the world, we have drones that patrol hot zones, and my car can tell me how to get to my destination. Why can't we solve this problem?
You know what I am talking about.  Liquid soap. That's right an innovation that lets you wash your hands without the mess of a bar of slippery soap. It sounds like such a great idea. My wife was all for it since it keeps the area beside the basin clean and soap scum free. You just push down on the dispenser and a hand full of soap is deposited in your palm immediately... or so the ads claim.

Here is the reality. The dispenser works perfectly a few times when new. That is just long enough for the user to become complacent to the danger.  After a few uses the liquid soap turns to a solid at the tip of the dispenser and slowly begins to "redirect" the squirt. At first not enough to be aware of, but the little devil continues to transform. That's when it delivers the"surprise".

When you least expect it, as you press the plunger, the squirt is propelled in a direction other than the intended palm of your wet hands. 
Scientifically it begins to clog the bottom of the nozzle first because of gravity.... Damn that Isaac Newton.  Eventually this obstruction will cause the liquid soap to jet out in an upward direction with unusual force. 
Two things can happen.  The messy soap can hit the tile causing more of a mess than if one had used a bar of soap, or... arch in a trajectory that hits your shirt or most often your trousers. 
Last week we had friends over for dinner. At one point I excused myself to wash my hands.  The liquid soap was waiting for me.
With wet hands I pushed the devise, as intended, only to watch helplessly as the ballistics caused the soap to land on the front of my pants. To eliminate the soap stain I had to make the spot bigger and more prominent by washing it off.
To eliminate any doubt as to what really happened while I was away,  I immediately launched into an explanation of this failure of product design.  It was an un wanted interruption to the dinner conversation at hand, but necessary to my self esteem.  There was no way to avoid the disbelief of this version of the account among this group of friends who offered their own reasons why my pants were wet in the front. None of this humiliation would have happened if we had just kept the bar soap handy.
This is America... the cradle of innovation. I know there are intelligent engineers who can solve this problem, but we must speak out. It is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. Join me in protest of this blight on attempts for proper sanitation without humiliation. Are you with me?
As you were,

1 comment:

P. Grecian said...

This is why I always take my pants off before washing my hands. It is also why I've been banned from most local restaurants.