Thursday, March 14, 2013

Additions to the Text

When our sons were children, Sandi went with me on a trip to London for a week. As are most of the Johnson trips it was a working vacation for me.  We asked my folks to come out and stay with the boys  who were 6 and 9 years old at the time. They agreed.
Being the organizer Sandi is she had a list of "do's and don'ts" for the boys.  It was a list several pages long of things they liked to do and places they liked to go, and what their schedule was on a daily... almost hourly basis.  It was sort of a narrative list.  "The boys can do this... The boys can't do that... the boys like this.... or the Boys don't like that".  Most of it was typed and printed out but there were things that needed to go on the list after the printing.  I became the scribe and neatly wrote down the additions with my best black ink pen and my best block printing. 
We left on our trip and had a great time.  Upon our return my Dad showed me something that made me laugh out loud. At the bottom of the list, added with my best black ink pen in an attempt at block letters was this: "THE BOYS CAN SMOKE CIGARS". 
It was straight out of a Simpsons episode when Grampa Simpson stayed with Bart and Lisa while Homer and Marge were gone.  Bart manipulated the list left for Grampa in the same way.
Yesterday.... years later my oldest son, the list forger,  is staying with us for awhile and was working on the computer at my desk. He translates documents online and we were having issues with Time Warner and the Internet connection. It was making us both mad but for Brandon it was impeding the ability to get work done for his job.  
In my same "anal block printing" I had taken some notes while talking to Time Warner Internet tech support.  The page with my notes was on my desk.  At the end I had written, "You god damn whores! You aught to try doing what I do for a living!" It is a phrase from an audio tape that circulated years ago. The tape is a compilation of the weekend messages left on a New York cable company's message machine.  As is the way, it is now on YouTube ..Angry Cable Customer (those with strong profanity issues might find it a little raw)
The tape is from a real guy trying to get his cable television restored. He calls and leaves 20 messages each getting a little more frustrated and profane, and for the unconnected listener, funnier and funnier. One of his messages is the "god damn whores line."
This morning added to my notes, written with my best black ink pen imitating my printing style was this: "I'm payin' for the fuckin' service and I ain't gettin' it."  
I burst out laughing because it is also one of the Cable man tape's rants. Brandon recognized my rant and added to it.  It proves that the apple does not fall far from the tree and seems to take root there.
As you were,

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