Wednesday and ....

That is as far as I got writing my blog this morning as my fingers stumbled on the keyboard and published the entry. I did not know that I could publish and entry with a key stroke. I doubt that I could recreate that sequence of events again.

The Colony run is over and I really miss it. There is a phenomenon that I can never get used to, but it occurs every time I do the show in town. Only days after I close there are some who say, "I missed your show. The next time you are in town, let me know. I would love to come." Since it has been 3 years since my show was in town, I tried my best to let everyone know it was here. It was booked a year in advance. At times I thought I was being a little too pushy, and some people got multiple notices just because I didn't want to miss anyone who might want to come. I sent emails and FaceBooked initiations. Well, we closed on Sunday and those same people, people I know I sent invitations to are now saying to me, " I missed your show. The next time you are in town, let me know. I would love to come." Bull shit. I don't believe it. People who want to come, will come. To the rest... this is the official notice that you are on your own.

I am trying to get excited about the run at the York Theatre in New York. For some reason it just doesn't seem real to me yet. I can't find that excitement that New York has always held. I'm sure it will come it just hasn't found it's time yet. We have to get through the holidays and all.

I do mean "get through" the holidays. For me that is sometimes an effort. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world and have been for a long time. She is the original Christmas Elf and sets her joy clock each year with the Christmas Holidays. Now you might think that this joy and happiness of the season would rub off on me, but I am the original Grinch. I have to look for ways to turn my depression of the season into a positive. And, for some reason my psychosis is such that it is not important just to be depressed, it is necessary for me to make sure everyone to knows that I am depressed. That makes my attitude take a very toxic turn for the next few weeks. After years of being around me, this Anti-Christmas feeling is nothing new to my family. Each year I think "this is the year I will be able to keep it to myself," and each year I can never find the lid shut it off.

So... I am trying to recall good memories of the times, and there are many. It is a matter of what you dwell on.

I remember the time my youngest son said, "Is Santa Claus real, Dad?" Of course I tried to tell him that the Santa was the spirit of Christmas, the symbol of selfless giving and the icon of the season. He was having none of it. After listening to my esoteric explanation he said, "Is there a really a man with a white beard and a red suit that comes down the Chimney?" He wanted as simple answer which in that case was "No." He was satisfied. Not disappointed except in my first answer.

I may not post every day, like I have been doing for awhile. My new rule is: If you can't find something funny or humorous to say then shut up.
As you were,
Jay