Now?

We opened "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only" last night at the Colony Theatre, in Burbank. I love this theatre. The raked and curving seats create an intimate relationship between the audience and the performer. It just seems like you can reach out and touch every person in the crowd. That connection is an integral part of "The Two and Only". It could be one of the best marriages of theatre and show possible.

I remember the last time we were at the Colony we were on track to Broadway. Our run at the Helen Hayes had just been pushed back due to the extension of their current show "Bridge and Tunnel". Things were confused about when we would open on Broadway and how much longer we had to "stay out". I couldn't really enjoy the present moment in anticipation of the coming lights of Broadway.

This time is different. We have the Tony and the goal is not to "get somewhere" with the show, now the goal is just to do the show. There is a great feeling to being in that place, and space of the moment.

That feeling of being in the "Now" has been my theme motif lately. I had gotten so far off that track, either being burdened by what I thought were past injustices, or fearful of what events were to come. There is such great fresh air in finding the current moment, even for a few seconds.

Years ago I was a brief student of a new thought teacher named Alpha Grisso. What a great name, and great lady. I really didn't know what metaphysics was at the time or anything about what she was teaching. I met her because she "turned cards" in sort of a Gypsy fortune-telling act. She was good at it because she was such a clear thinker and could read people so well.

My first "reading" with her was interesting. She spread some cards on the table, and made a couple of stock reading remarks. Then she looked directly at me for a moment and said, "You think on a different level than most around you, yes." I was to shy to agree, but at the time I did think I was a little bit of a freak, and very different from my peers. She pushed the cards aside and said, "These cards are just a focal point for the distracted mind, let's just talk a few minutes." She told me things about my own feelings that I had never expressed. Before the session was up she invited me to a class she was teaching, free of charge. It was similar to a Unity, Science of Mind or even Religious Science class. I remember she said in one of the classes, "Watch your mental mumbling." It was an admonishment to be aware of the thoughts, negative or other wise, that loop continuously through your mind.

I am trying to be more acutely aware of that mumbling as I try to stay in the now. The mumbling will lead you into the past or future if you're not watchful. I'm having a great time doing the show but a negative mumble nags with the idea that each performance brings me closer to the closing. Why is it that the human mind tries so desperately to crash the party?

"The next message you need is always right where you are"- Ram Dass, author of "Be Here Now".

As you were,
Jay