Happy Halloween from

New Beginnings Reality Center
Picture by Jay Johnson patient #71169

From: Dr. Stethenmetz
The staff believes that if Mr. Johnson wishes to communicate with pictures he should be allowed. This we believe is a self portrait.

I bribed the night nurse to sneak me my BlackBerry. She hid it under the medications tray, thank goodness I get coverage down here. I don't know how long I will have batteries, so I will be quick.

I heard from the Smithsonian Institution before I "was sent" here to the "Center". The renovations on the Museum are complete and Bob will be on display at the Popular Culture gallery starting November 21, 2008. That is very exciting. Mr. Bowers also said they are publishing a book on the puppet in the Smithsonian collection and Bob will be featured in the "television puppets" section. That is very exciting. So if you happen to be in Washington after Nov. 21st stop by the "Music, Sports and Entertainment section of the renovated Smithsonian and say hello to Bob Campbell.

Opps. The floor guard just spotted me with my BB. More later. I will continue to sneak hand written letters.
As you were,
Jay

Sent from captivity by my wireless Verizon Blackberry

National Talk Like a Pirate Day

Note From: Dr. Theodore Stethenmetz, Director
NEW BEGINNINGS REALITY CENTER

To whom it may concern:
Mr. Johnson will not be writing a blog for a few days as he is not allowed Internet access here at the "center". We are not sure how long he will stay with us, it is hard to gage his condition. With a person like Mr. Johnson who has made a living for so long as a functioning schizophrenic it is difficult to come to a concise diagnosis.

His physical health is good and he seems to interact well with the other patients. He has permission to roam the grounds and has taken to digging up dandelions. Unfortunately the dandelions are the prized garden of patient #7684 who has been traumatized by the event.

I will be keeping you posted on his progress, and if he shows advanced signs of improvement in his condition, we may allow him limited use of the computer.

Freudianly yours,
Dr. Theodore Stethenmetz

Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy

Edgar Bergen's act with an Irish newspaper boy puppet named Charlie McCarthy was featured in the Ziegfeld Follies of 1936.  After touring all over the country with the show,  it finally came to New York City for a Broadway opening.  

When the show arrived in New York it was running too long.  Shows were timed to coordinate with the train schedule and performances that ran late were not as well attended as those that didn't.  Ziegfeld needed to cut eight minutes out of the show.  Most of the numbers were expensive extravaganzas with lots of costumed show girls.  These production numbers would be expensive to eliminate because of the investment in costumes and sets. As he looked at the show's running order the act of Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy was running exactly eight minutes long.  It was a single act performed in front of a curtain. They could trim the show to the right time by firing Edgar Bergen, which they did.

Bergen found himself stranded in New York with no job.  His friend Noel Coward recommended him as an entertainer for the Rainbow Room at Rockefeller Center.  It was a sophisticated supper club where the gentlemen dressed in tails, and Mr. Bergen decided that Charlie wouldn't look right dressed as a newsboy.  So he dressed Charlie in top hat and tails. In his white tie and top hat Bergen thought Charlie looked like Eskie Esquire the monocled mascot of Esquire Magazine.  He added a monocle to Charlie's outfit for that extra element of sophistication and Charlie McCarty the  Artdeco icon was born.  

At the Rainbow Room Elsa Maxwell, the party host of New York, came to the show and was so impressed she invited Edgar and Charlie to perform at one of her parties.  The Maxwell parties were well known as the social event of the elite.  Radio and recording star Rudy Vallée was one of the guests at this particular party.  He happened to be a fan of ventriloquism, and even had a McElroy vent figure of his own.  He hired Mr. Bergen to perform on his highly rated radio show the next week.  From two or three guest appearances on the Rudy Vallée show Mr. Bergen was given his own Radio show which ran from 1937 until 1956.  The rest, as they say, is history.

Mr. Bergen died thirty years ago at Ceasar's Palace opening for Andy Williams.  Mr. Bergen had announced his retirement a few weeks before, but Andy persuaded him to make this Vegas appearance as a farewell.  Bergen ended his show with by saying "all vaudevillians know when it is time to leave the stage, so I wish you good night and good bye."   Andy came on stage and sang "September Song" as Mr. Bergen took his bows.  He died sometime in his sleep that night. He was 75 years old.

As you were,

Jay

Charlie

It seems like the more time that passes by the faster it goes.  Is that some quantum rule? All I know is, things I did 30 years ago don't really seem like the ancient history my children seem to believe.

Thirty-five years ago I bought a 1930s  Effanbee  Charlie McCarthy doll from a collector.  It was in perfect shape, mint condition as the collectors used to say. It was more money than I should have spent on "eye candy", but it really was beautiful and for many years occupied a place of honor at our house in Sherman Oaks.  

Then the 1993 Northridge Quake hit.  The plexiglass case Charlie was displayed in shattered, but it prevented Charlie from being mangled. In fact it survived perfectly safe.  We moved to our current digs a few months after that.  I put off having a new case made, so it was packed away with some other valuables.  

While going through my prop storage this week end I rediscovered Charlie.  I still haven't had a case made for him and the place where I would display him in this house is now occupied by a Tony Award and an Ovation Award Trophy. I am thinking, instead of sitting in a box in my prop closet Charlie needs a new home.  I also don't want the responsibility any more.  This doll is 70 years old, and I am told rare in the fact that it still has the original top hat, monocle and coat buttons.  Evidently those are the things that get lost quickly over the decades. 

When I bought him Charlie's mouth was closed. His mouth opened the first week of October 1978.  The reason I can be that specific is because Edgar Bergen died on Sept. 30, 1978.  I thought it was an amazing coincidence that the rubber band on the dolls mouth gave way the very week Mr. Bergen died. The 30th anniversary of his death was only a couple of weeks ago.

Perhaps that is what led me to find the Charlie Doll again.

I still think it is a beautiful piece of work.  As you can see from the picture.  It goes back to the idea of what the value of Art is.  The one thing I know is that Art should be seen and not hidden in a closet.  I have never been an avid collector of vent memorabilia, and I know this would be a prized collection to the right person.  So I am putting the word out to some of my collector friends and I hope we can find the right home. 

As you were,

Jay

Not in the Cards

What do you have to do?

Over the weekend I performed at the dance studio of a friend of mine.  It was a benefit show for the school mainly comprised of dance numbers. I was there in the same capacity that started my show business life: as comic relief while the dancers were off stage changing clothes for their next number.  

It's how I met my wife many years ago.  She was the first dancer to go on after I exited from the stage at an Astroworld Show.  I wouldn't let her go on until I was sure the applause for my act had crested, in those 20 second intervals I fell in love and the rest is by now ancient legend.

So, at this dance show benefit I was un-billed, meaning no one knew I was going to be there, and I was not introduced, I just got up on stage when it was time for my routine. I would love to think that I am famous enough to be recognized when I walk on stage, but that is not the case. I did a little stand up and then introduced Bob, who came out of his box to help me finish my set.  It was a good audience and the reaction was what I expected for the size.  

After the show, a man came up to me and said, "When I saw that case and you said you were a ventriloquist, I thought to myself Oh, NO, not a f----ing ventriloquist.  But I enjoyed it. I had never seen a ventriloquist up close and it was mind bending and funny."  I think I said "Thank you." with the implied asshole tense of the verb. 

It is not the first time someone has said something like that to me.  It seems to some the mere word ventriloquism conjures up such distain as to invoke curse words at the very thought of having to sit though such a routine.  I don't get it.  There aren't that many vent acts around, and although they differ in style, most professionals I have seen are good. At least if the act gets any exposure nationally it is usually good.  The vent weeks on Letterman were some of his most successful shows. 

There were singers performing on the benefit show as well.  Did this same guy see a person standing at the crook of a piano and say, "OH, NO, not a f---ing singer?"  No.  Pre-judgement seems to be reserved for us ventriloquist.  I don't get it.

I have seen many more bad singers than ventriloquists.  The first few weeks of the American Idol contest practically celebrates bad singers.  So why does this guy give a singer the benefit of the doubt and condemn a ventriloquist before either have performed?  I will never understand why ventriloquism gets such a bad rap.  

As the years go by I get less and less tolerant toward that judgement. I mean, what does a guy have to do to raise the consciousness and legitimize this art form... go to Broadway and win an American Theatre Wing Tony Award?  

As you were,

Jay

Note from Home

Dear Readers,

Please excuse Jay from writing a blog today since he has absolutely nothing to say.  I know this is hard to understand since he is rarely at a loss for words at anytime.  However, for reasons that would be both odious, tedious, and melancholy he will not be writing today.

Thank you,

Mr. Brown

Change of Season

The smell of smoke is in the air, ashe covers the ground, and the sky is brown , it must be fire season in Southern California. In some places fall means the leaves on the trees turn beautiful colors. Out here they bust into flames. Several freeways are closed and it looks like many people will not make it to work today. Several schools in the Northern San Ferndando Valley have closed. There are some people who will be fighting to keep their homes from burning down today.

Friday I did a show with Bill Medley, the last remaining member of the Righteous Brothers. Their 1965 hit, "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin' " is the most frequently played song in history topping the Beatles "Yesterday". When I told my son who I was going to work with he did not recognize the name until I sang three bars of "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin' ".

Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield teamed up in the late 50's. Originally they called the act "The Paramours". After singing a soulful song a black audience member yelled out, "That's righteous, Brothers". They changed their name for the next show, and coined a new term, "blue-eyed soul". The two remained great friends and partners until Bobby's death in 2003. Just before his death the Righteous Brothers were inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame.  

I worked with them years ago when Bobby was still alive. I have always been a fan of their music, and they were great performers. Bobby was especially a nice guy, very friendly and inclusive. As I was watching Bill from backstage I started thinking about how difficult it must be to do the show without his partner. One of the band members provides the missing vocal parts, but Bill Medley is out there on his own. Using video and a track Bill actually sings a song with Bobby Hatfield. I noticed a little bit of a shift in gears when Medley was sharing stage with Hatfield even though it was only a technical paring. I just can't imagine the emotions that fill Medley as he does the same songs that he recorded with his friend.

I guess that is not a feeling I will ever know. I will always be on stage with my partner, no matter what form he takes.

As you were,
Jay

Space Holder

Thinking Out Loud

Edward Albee said: "I write to know what I am thinking about."  Well, after reading yesterday's blog I still don't know what I am thinking about.  However, with 24 hours and a re-read, it sounds as if I was mounting a rationale for not doing a DVD of  "The Two and Only".  That really isn't the case.  I am trying to find the right package at the right time to film the show, somehow. 

The blog was supposed to be an essay on Art vs. Show Business and Theatre vs. Media.  Dave I guess it was directed at you only to the degree that your comment was the catalyst for the thought.  It was really not meant to be argumentative. 

I guess what I am trying to figure out, artistically, by writing out loud, is the point of view. As you guessed by now one of my hero's is Spalding Gray.  There was a great deal of thought that went into filming  "Swimming to Cambodia".  Here is the guy who created minimalist theatre, so how do you create a film of a guy sitting in a chair talking for an hour and a half.   How much do you give to the medium to make it flow as a film without ruining the stark simplicity? Somehow it works, but they did more than just put a camera in the audience and film his stage monologue.

This is where I am.  There is part of me that wants to retain the theatricality of the Two and Only and just put a camera in the audience and film it.  But I know that idea will not work, for most of the reasons that were on my mind yesterday. How much do I have to change it so that it becomes a film rather than a stage show filmed?  That answer has still not come to me.  I have had several friends, even a well known film director, weigh in; nothing feels exactly right yet.   I just have to keep thinking about it and waiting for the right idea.

In "Terrors of Pleasure" Spalding Gray bemoans the fact that he didn't get a film part.  He says, "Don't you think I would rather have done the film than do a monologue about it over and over?"  There is something appealing about doing the show on film and letting it reach more places than I can travel too.  But then, I don't get to be there and enjoy that moment, that audience and that Art. 

Jindra, Dave thanks for hanging in there. At least I will make three copies one for each of us.
As you were,
Jay

Pointing to the Moon is not the Moon

Thanks for the comments and encouragement on producing a Two and Only DVD. While it is a business and financial decision, at its core it is an artistic decision. When one contemplates art the game changes radically. Ultimately I think I want to make good artistic decisions. Money comes and goes but art has its own value.

There is a Buddhist saying that a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon. In the same context a DVD of a show is not the show. The fact that it looks "live" or has the feeling of a live show only means it has employed a higher degree of trickery. Having spent countless hours in and editing bay as a producer I can tell you that the live audience shots seen on film are almost never the actual reactions of the moment. When you need a cut away you find a shot of the audience that seems to fit that moment. It could be a shot of the audience from the day before.

A movie is meant to be a movie, it is all illusion, it never happened. Directors film things out of order and use special effects to create things that are not there when the actors say their lines. A film creates a manufactured energy. A camera is a microscope and that perspective on life changes the perception.

A live show is not a film. Live theatre must create its own energy, live as it happens. I am talking about the life of the show as much as the perception of the audience. A show has a life of its own and every time it is performed it is different. Every aspect of a show is impacted by the experience of the immediate environment, and every part of that experience is the life of the show. You can cut off a rose bud and seal it in plastic and it might look like a rose in the garden, but you will forever be looking at a dead rose. Same with a show.

I guess I ultimately would rather grow a rose that is beautifully alive. If there is not an audience there to see it, it does not change the power of that moment nor the life of the flower.

I know... Jeff Dunham has released DVD's. I think that proves my point. They are merchandise that feeds the Jeff machine, like little Walter dolls, to be sold after the concert. Jeff is very successful and good for him, but that is to Art as the a yellow smiley face is to the Mona Lisa.

That's just a difference in perception I guess. Most artists die poor, but every one dies and no one takes their check book. As the stock market falls and the money market freezes, the idea of art for its own sake now seems civilized and invaluable.

As you were,
Jay

Random Access

Spaulding Gray used to say that he "could not make up the lie that tells the truth". He was talking about his writing. He couldn't make up fictional stories. If something happened to him he could write about that, but he couldn't make up something that sounded like it was real life. He hated deadlines because he didn't know what would happen that he could write about or didn't know if anything interesting would happen at all. I sometimes feel I know what he meant.

Recently I haven't been traveling much and since I don't want to write about politics or the economy it seems that my scope is too limited to have anything interesting to say.

I have been trying to figure out what my next career step is. The Two and Only is on hold while I figure out what to do with it. I want to film it as either a special or just as a DVD to sell or if nothing else, just to have as an archive. To film it means to mount it and that waits on the right theater or new tour. Everything seems to lean on the next in some sort of house of cards arrangement where misplacement of one seems to put the rest in jeopardy.

I really wanted to do this show for a long time to come, but I just don't know. Maybe it is time to move on. Art is sometimes of the moment and to sustain it is to perhaps kill it. And perhaps to film it is to take away its soul. The wonderful thing about a live performance is just that, it is live. The experience is of the moment, never to be repeated. The life of a show is maybe of a season as well. If you could see a shooting star every time you looked into the sky, what would be wondrous about the event? And how could you recreate it? In astronomy there is something called a "singularity". That means it only happened once and never again. Those events are the special ones.

I am being asked a lot about my next show. I don't know what the "next show" is going to be, or even if there is "another show". I feel like I am expected to come up with one, but "I can't make up the lie that tells the truth". When the next show happens to me I can write about that I guess. Spaulding Gray, I miss you.

As you were,
Jay

How much is that Billion in the Window?

I am not an economist, nor do I want to be. I was also not the best math student at RHS, but here is some simple math for those who are kicking around $700 billion dollars like it is pocket change. A billion seconds is 31.7 years. So if you were to make a dollar a second starting now, you could make $700 billion in roughly 22,140 years.

Of course in 22, 140 years you would have to adjust for inflation and the constant change in the value of money. You might figure on 25,000 years just to be safe.

To state our national debt, you have to figure the math in trillions. A trillion seconds is 31,546 years. The current bailout plan calls for us to increase the National debt to 11 trillion. So, to pay for that by earning a dollar a second, well, you could pay for it roughly in the 318,006 years.

If you could make a dollar a second you would be making $604,800 a week or $86,400 a day.

Run and hide, monkeys are in charge of the bank.
As you were,
Jay

Got Nothing

Other than the fact that the crime for which OJ was just convicted occurred on Sept 13, 2007 - adding one more number 13 to the incidence , here it is Monday and I got nothing.

I'm frustrated about most everything right now. It seems to be the fog that is hanging over the whole world right now. The financial ills of the US are spreading to Europe this week, and the campaign for the Presidency is getting nastier. Caribou Barbie seems to have actually become the pit bull in lipstick we were warned about. The only news seems to be the same story retold by different info-pushers. It is probably good that my television went out yesterday.

I feel sorry for whomever wins the Presidency. The next President inherits a recession, two wars, an energy crisis and world disrespect for the country. Everyone will expect him to fix it all immediately but it just can't be done quickly. This fast food nation will not have the patience's for that and will sour on the new leader quickly. Maybe not. Maybe just a leader that can lead will be enough to lift the fog. Officials keep talking about the confidence in the economy, it is hard to have confidence in any economy that allows the village idiot to be in charge. I think I have said too much. The idiot and his patriot act have eyes and ears everywhere.

As you were,
Jay

Misfortune