Monday, January 27, 2014

Sea Sickness...

Over the weekend there was a report of several Royal Caribbean ships experiencing an outbreak of sickness.  I have performed  many times on all the ships that were "infected".  Until now Royal Caribbean has not had those problems like other cruise lines. 
Today on FaceBook there was a post from a comic friend who just disembarked one of the "infected" ships.  He complimented the Cruise Director and Activities staff for all the things they did during what was a very difficult sail. 
I can't imagine what it must have been like with more than 300 people throwing up and experiencing the "runs"aboard the confined space of a ship.  The cruise lines pride themselves on the size of their ships, but no matter how big a ship is, when it is out at sea, it becomes a very small place.
Placing myself in the shoes of the Cruise Director during this event I came up with some great activities.  
Here is a suggested calendar of events.

8:oo am.. Deck 4 Promenade.  The morning jog will be replaced with a sprint to the toilet. Participants are urged to wear loose clothing.

10:00 am..  Schooner Lounge.  Drink special.. the "Heave HO". 

11:00 am..  Lunch in the Windjammer Buffet.  The chef has prepared several dishes that are just as good on the way up as they were on the way down.

1:00 pm ..  Pool Deck.  Projectile vomiting contest.  Winner will receive a free visit to the ships Medical deck. 

1:30 pm..  Pool Deck aft.  "How pale are you?" Staff from the Spa will evaluate the color of your face and what it means.  Is that green pallor on your mug better than a total lack of color? Find out there. 

2:00 - 4:00 pm..  Relaxation time.  On deck 5 scuba gear will be issued to all those who want to breath uninfected air for a while.  As a special note, all the hot tubs have been filled with Purell.  No need for a towel it will evaporate soon after you get out. 

5:00 pm..  Movie Time in the Movie Theatre deck 3.  Today a double feature. "Out Break" starring Dustin Hoffman and "Contagion" starring Gweneth Paltro. 

7:00.. Dinner in the Main Dining Room - Tonight's menu:  Oysters on the Half Shell and boiled asparagus with Clam Chowder. 

9:00 and 11:45..  Showtime in the Orpheum Theatre.  Sitting will be open and remember to keep the aisle's and pathways to deck 7 toilets completely clear. 

As you were,

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