Monday, February 16, 2015

Asylum Inmate Scream

With new technology comes new problems. Unexpected things you can't plan for because they have never existed before.
I have to admit that the iPod did not seem like a very revolutionary idea when I first heard about it.  MP3 Music? What the heck did it mean?  It was just another way for me to buy the same music on a different format.

Act 1 - The Set up:
I had already invested in several ancient platforms.I went from  45rpm singles to Vinyl Albums to 8 track tape, cassette tape then CD. Each one of these formats required a different playing machine.  I went from a transistor radio to a Walk Man to a portable CD player to a mini disc player all to accommodate the new form of music.  Just when I had updated all the music I liked, suddenly there is a new thing called mp3 and a new player to buy.

It was a very good innovation.  Lots of music in tiny storage units.  Your entire music library in a portable format. Now I just take it for granted that I always have my music with me on my smart phone no matter when I want to listen.  Not just the  few CDs or cassettes that could be carried, but basically all  the music of every type available to me instantly. And not only that but I have a great recording device along with the music so I can even capture unique sounds/songs of my own to enjoy.  That's the new technology! How could that cause any incomprehensible issues?  Let's see.

At issue first is my varied taste in the "music" I like.  I make a living with sound so I have an interest in all kinds of sound. It is amazing to me how many people do not know the difference between sound and noise.  It is simple... when I am doing it, it is a sound experiment, when you are doing the same sound, it is noise.

In the music area I have everything from Mozart to Moby and jazz to jitterbug. And I have a lot of spoken word in my music library. Lectures, routines, voice exercises, chants, nature sounds to relax, podcasts, to name a few.  In addition to actual music and speeches I have apps that just make sound.  I have a Therimin, a tone generator, a sound effects board and a piano all on my iPhone.  Okay so we know that all this "sound" is stored in a Forrest of 1's and 0's in digi-world. What could go wrong?

Act 2 - The Problem:
One of our dearest friends remarried this last weekend on Valentines Day.  It was a great wedding/party with long time friends, dancing, laughing, drinking and celebrating. Did I mention drinking? Festivities consumed most of the time from Friday evening to Sunday morning.  The rest of Sunday was spent regretting a romantic notion that Champagne and Vodka taken in mass quantities have no effect the morning after.
In this state of mind I realized the need to meditate.  I have several different tracks of music for the very condition I was in.  The one I chose was "AWAKENING the LOTUS" which is a series of chants and chimes designed to find the center of your ID.
Because all the tracks are stored digitally they can be listed many ways.  One can list the music by playlist, artist, songs, genera, or even alphabetical.  The list to the left is a screen capture of my music listed alphabetically.  You will notice right away that the track I need to calm myself is second.
It took me a minute or two to find and turn on my bluetooth headset.  Then it took another few moments to settle into my lotus position. Finally I hit play and suddenly there is an insane inmate screaming in my hung over ears that defies description. Just above the track I want is a track called "Asylum Inmate Scream". That is a sound effects track that's just what is says it is.  A very loud blood curdling scream recorded in HD stereo for maximum scary effect.   As my heart began to return to a normal rhythm, I began the calming process again. This time making sure that I chose the right track before hitting play.
It was exactly the calming presence that I needed.  It was nirvana as I visualized cases of Champagne floating gently down the river of life and away from my aching head.  I was at peace, relaxed, refreshed and focused on the gentle calming goodness of life.  On the last inhalation of my deep breath a buzzer goes off with the volume of an all stars exhibition game and the timber of being sealed inside a cheap tin can.
The third track immediately following AWAKENING of the.....  (in alphabetical order) is:  Basketball Indoors Bu.....  I reads completely  Basketball Indoors BUZZER - Loud.  Only in this alphabetical list would the calming Lotus training of chants end with a BUZZER - Loud.
And only in the digital form could these tracks ever be instantly listed together.

List your songs by album or artist, or even genera; never list them by songs if you are trying to chase away an evening of fun.
As you were,

1 comment:

P. Grecian said...

I believe I have every album Asylum Inmate Scream ever made.

On wax cylinders

In boxes.

I take them and a player with me wherever I go. All the way to the end of the extension cord.