Then at the dock in Ft. Lauderdale the port side security put my cases through the xray before I could board the ship. He stopped the coveyor belt and looked very closely at my bags. I repeated the well practiced phrase that gets me through these situations, "I'm a guest entertainer boarding, that's my puppet, I'm a ventriloquist." The person acted like he didn't hear me, and yelled "bag check." A woman of extaordinary size came over and looked at my bag. Then she looked at the screen. Once again I said "It's a puppet". She stands like a huge deer in the headlights for a moment then tells me not to touch the bags. This process has taken a lot of time and the people in line behind me are growing in numbers and becoming more irritated. The massive lady paused for a minute and called over the armed police official who was standing by. I said, "I'm a guest entertainer... I'm a ventriloquist and this is my puppet." The policeman looked at the screen, then at the two screeners and said, "What are you screening for? Puppets? That's clearly a puppet, let the man go." As I was gathering up all my stuff I heard him say, "Clock out." to the man on the xray and another person took over the screening.
On any level I take that as a win. So either the world did end or the TSA monkeys are being extra nice since the shooting at LAX a couple months ago. Either way, the cosmos it making my life a little easier.
As you were,