Thursday, December 19, 2013

It works for me...

Perhaps the Mayans were right and the world did end on 2012.  Something is different because I've had two good experiences with TSA types in just a few days.  As most know, my experience with members of that agency have never been, what you might say "cordial".  I think it is the idea that they presume everyone is guilty until we prove otherwise.  In  Chicago there was a random gate check by the TSA.  There was a sign that said, "Anyone refusing to be searched will not be allowed to board the plane."  I can't decide if that is blackmail or extortion. At any rate, I was not one of the ones chosen to be randomly violated, although it still pissed me off.  
Then at the dock in Ft. Lauderdale the port side security put my cases through the xray before I could board the ship.  He stopped the coveyor belt and looked very closely at my bags.  I repeated the well practiced phrase that gets me through these situations, "I'm a guest entertainer boarding, that's my puppet, I'm a ventriloquist."  The person acted like he didn't hear me, and yelled "bag check." A woman of extaordinary size came over and looked at my bag. Then she looked at the screen.  Once again I said "It's a puppet". She stands like a huge deer in the headlights for a moment then tells me not to touch the bags.    This process has taken a lot of time and the people in line behind me are growing in numbers and becoming more irritated.  The massive lady paused for a minute and called over the armed police official who was standing by.  I said, "I'm a guest entertainer... I'm a ventriloquist and this is my puppet." The policeman looked at the screen, then at the two screeners and said, "What are you screening for? Puppets? That's clearly a puppet, let the man go."  As I was gathering up all my stuff I heard him say, "Clock out." to the man on the xray and another person took over the screening.  
On any level I take that as a win.  So either the world did end or the TSA monkeys are being extra nice since the shooting at LAX a couple months ago. Either way, the cosmos it making my life a little easier. 
As you were,

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