Friday, October 12, 2012

Time to Think Again...

Spalding Gray did a monologue about living in Los Angeles for a year. He was bothered by the weather and the season change... because basically there is none here in LA. He said that he kept waiting for the winter weather to come so he felt like staying inside and writing. To quote: "When will it be winter so I can wear corduroy and think again."
That statement is particularly relevant at this moment. Yesterday the sky opened and it began to rain. Today the rain is gone but it is overcast and cool enough to wear a sweatshirt when I walk to the Coffee Bean and hang out in doors. Spalding is right. With the sun gone it is time to "think again."
I have become aware of how this blog has changed over the years. I wanted it to be an honest narrative of my life and my feelings. It took me a while to realize this desire is a paradox, and although the thoughts are honest they are also public. After a few publications went semi-viral I realized that being vague is a lot less trouble than being honest.
There have been so many "twists" to the filming of my show it would read like a James Bond novel if I could be honest. Unfortunately I can't. Being honest would not accomplish anything from a business stand point no matter how good it would feel to get it off my chest. Perhaps this is the problem Nostradamus faced in his day. It could be why he disguised his thoughts in quatrains. He had to keep them cryptic in order not to be burned at the stake. Why not use the same device. So here goes, an exercise for me to keep my sanity and a conundrum for the "son of a bitch" of my wrath. Decrypt this and bite me you f----- idiot. Yeah, you.... you know who you are.... I'm talkin' to you.
The French lawyers with their small interest have killed the way for the rest.
They cover their past mistakes by claiming they are looking out for the best.
Their insults and posture are hubris and ultimately nothing but abuse.
We move forward as they regress, determining the way and its use

As you were,


Daray Pringle said...

in the words of Artie Johnson... "Very Interesting..."

P. Grecian said...

I keep a journal just for myself. It helps. I also have a couple of close friends I can rant to. That helps.
And it seems like I'm the one among my friends who gets called or emailed with THEIR rants.
It must be my kind face.
Every time I try to put a rant into poetic form, though, it turns into a dirty limerick, so...

Tracy said...

I have one blog that was completely candid and pointedly honest because when I first started to write no one knew me or knew the other figures in my life. Then came a tiny bit of public notice and one entry that everyone locally read (it "starred" in not so flattering terms) some people in our community. Nothing was untrue, much of it was very funny (which is why it got passed around) and nearly cost my husband his job.

I no longer can write publicly for me without self-censorship because of my "bring home a check" job and husband's position. It sucks. I wish I would have started with a pen name.

Ben and MJ said...

This blog post of yours saddened me a little Jay. It's an unfortunate truth that people today have a need to bring down somebody who has a successful life and/or career. The tall poppy syndrome is alive a kicking. Seemingly there are those who feel one should not be more successful then them despite the hard work and effort they have invested to get to where they are (of course we can rule out reality television people here).

I would never publicly write my personal feelings abut another person because respect is earned and not a right so by doing so I would devaluing any professional respect I may have earned in my career.

For you I apologise for any misdemeanours that have come your way through your literary honesty even though I have not had a hand in any of it, but I go on believing that if more people are strong enough to remain open and honest then maybe we'll deflate the egotistical wielders of the axe that cuts down poppies.