Thursday, October 03, 2019

Hi.. I’m Jay....depressive...

These are tough times for depressives.  The struggle to see the glass half full is needed now more that ever, but it has also never been more difficult.  Even when things are great, depressives have a difficult time converting that energy into happiness. That is the disorder.  Like a diabetic who can not physically process sugar, a depressive can not physically  process happiness.  If we could process happiness like others do, we would not be depressives. It is a struggle when times are good,When times are rough... it is almost impossible for a depressive to be “happy” or even neutral.    In this emotionally divided country, no matter what side of the political divide you inhabit,  these are not normal times. The tone of the news is divisive and upsetting. Those who do not have such issues with depression don’t understand, These are tough times for depressives.  

Unfortunately most people don’t know how to interact with a depressive.  With other disorders there is some sort of a protocol.  When some one sneezes you say “God Bless you”.  When faced with the specter of depression most do not know how to act or what to say.

“Just be happy”, “Get over it”, or my favorite phrase proclaimed by the uninformed, “What do you have to be sad about.... look at your life.”  

Yes, look at my life. There is nothing  I have to be sad about.  There is no disagreement that I am extremely blessed.  A list of my credits and experiences should be the penultimate of a persons life and career. Unfortunately these wonderful experiences are very much like a Snickers bar to a diabetic;  I do not process it in the same way as a “normal” depressive neutral person would. Pointing out the abnormality of a person’s depressed emotion is not helpful.  To exasperate the problem, in theTrump era normally happy people are stressing out. These are tough times for depressives.  

It is not a perfect synonym but happiness and hopefulness are connected in the depressive mind.  A depressive can feel unhappiness for any reason because of their mental disorder, but if there is a way to hang on to hope,  there is a chance of happiness.  Hopeful times are helpful times to depressives.  But, because we have an Executive branch of government composed of lawlessness, lying, corrupt individuals who seem to defy convention and law, there is no hope for the depressive.  Equality, morality and ethics do not seem to be part of the Trump administration. There is no accountability to the truth, the law or even human courtesy  and decency. We are being told that what we see and know is not the truth, and because they seem to be getting away with it, truth becomes irrelevant.  There is no hope that wrong will be unsuccessful nor punished.  To the depressive we are being shown that there is in reality no way out of our unhappiness.  There is no hope.  
The unfortunate thing is, I have no solution. I know of no way that depressives like myself can find peace and harmony in this “era”.  Politically I would love to see Trump brought down and humbled for his complete lack of humanity, lawlessness and selfishness.  My depression tells me that this event might bring me happiness and a relief of depression.

These are tough times for depressives,

As you were, 


Philip Grecian said...

I try to keep busy. Worst times are times when I have no deadlines to meet, no work to do...then I begin thinking.
Couple nights ago I couldn't sleep...for hours. Got to thinking. There was nothing good about my life.
Finally managed to fall asleep just before the sun rose.
Medication helps a little...but only a little.

And you're right...nobody gets it. "Be happy!"
Hell, I even wrote a children's play years ago with that theme.
I was talking to myself as much as anyone.
There are no words of encouragement I can offer, Jay...just as there are none you can offer me.
Best I can do is tell you that I understand...and that your thoughts written here offer me some encouragement...and some relief that you, being another member of the club (We should have a secret handshake) understand as well.

Yeah...these are tough times for depressives.

Twovoices said...

Jay, Situational depression is something with which I deal.
My depressive moments are in direct proportion to lack o work. I turned 65 yesterday. It hit hard!

Don Bailey said...

Good, Jay. I get it, and I concur.

The Comic's Daughter said...

Jay - Spooky sends hugs.
Spooky understands.

Tom Pace said...

I totally get it, Jay.
Believe me, I totally get it.
I still hang on to hope.
There are a lot of wonderful people out there, to counterbalance the “TRUMPS” in the world. Lots and lots of love.... and, that’s what I hang onto.

Michael Andreas said...

This is a tough one Jay! If you didn’t have this ailment would we still have Bob or Nethernor or Spaulding or Darwin? It’s not unlike the curse that’s given us Starry Night, Tom Sawyer, the Gettysburg Address and so much more. Is it a curse wrapped up in a blessing? Vice Versa? Should one feel guilty in taking great enjoyment in something that’s been borne out of another persons pain? I’ve though about this and never found a suitable answer. I wish I could help but, instead I’m just stuck here awed by your brilliance and thankful for the gift that is your friendship.

Kristopher Kyer said...


Rachel said...

Jay ~ I had no idea that you were a depressive. I look back at the time I was babysitting the boys, which was a happier time in my life because I didn't realize I was depressed, I just thought I was sad a lot of the time. I do still look back on that time in my life fondly & wish I hadn't lost contact with you, Sandy & the boys.

Rachel said...

Jay ~ I had no idea that you were a depressive. I look back at the time I was babysitting the boys, which was a happier time in my life because I didn't realize I was depressed, I just thought I was sad a lot of the time. I do still look back on that time in my life fondly & wish I hadn't lost contact with you, Sandy & the boys.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Johnson, I was given the boxed set of Soap recently as a gift and I've been dipping into it (again--I've probably seen the full series three or four times at this point) when I can use a laugh or to show a friend, who has never seen the show before. As often happens on the Internet I wound up looking something up and just kept clicking until ultimately I ended up on your blog, which I'd been unaware of.

I too am a clinical depressive. I like to say I'm in remission having had a productive time in therapy (originally legally required a decade ago if I ever wanted to see sunlight again following an impulsive decision I made at rock bottom). I cope by using the practices I learned in mindfulness-based CBT and generally compare
My occasional relapses to having a bad flu--painful, tiring,likely to make me hard to be around,but with an end in sight. Five years after my therapist effectively said I was good to go and fired me, I am also having a lot of trouble getting through this bout of flu. The country seems to be filled with carriers at the moment.

I am very sorry that in the past few years you've lost some close friends and I am sorry we are all going through this horrible time with this horrible president, his horrible followers, and the many people who are being victimized routinely by the two (and systems that were put in place long before).

But I am also very grateful that you can still make me laugh forty years after you actually performed and I hope you have people around you who can do the same for you.

This was a very long winded way to ask how you are holding up, have the way. It's been a while since you posted.

BossCatBlue said...

Really?....I kind of like Trump....He has not done anything to hurt me. He is fun to watch and understands the law of business. I'm not a horrible person because of this. And it really isn't a horrible time. I would let him prepare my taxes anytime! Moving on - We are not in a war and the environment is pretty nice where I live in Louisiana. Ok - we get a couple of hurricanes, but it is not something I can't live through! The world has great food, sunshine, snow skiing, the beach, flowers, birds, cute kids, silly teens, and fun adults. Shift your brain to see the good that does exists and ENJOY IT....

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

The country is indeed in shambles because of this president and his enablers. I am so sorry you’ve lost friends, I know hard it is when we lose loved ones. This month I rewatched all four uncut seasons of “Soap”..... because I’ve been depressed too. It’s partly situational, partly just... well, life as a depressive. And I received *such* joy from rewatching the series again. I experienced so much laughter these past three weeks ... and that gave me hope. I guess I just hang on til brain chemistry changes & political winds shift & try to keep myself entertained and continue learning new things, ‘cause like Jodie said to Alice before it became an essential catch phrase, it gets better. (Julius even says it again, to Mary, at the end of the series, surprisingly.)

Thank you Jay for sharing your brilliant gift with the world and making people laugh. It’s hard to take life too seriously when I think of Bob. I crack up whenever I think of the confused boom mike operator LOL Rewatching the show did make me burst into tears last week, as I remembered how much hope the series gave me as a gay teen in the 80s. And I had forgotten how God was practically on the show too — never have sitcom characters had so many conversations with and made so many references to the Almighty.

So thank you, Jay, for all the joy. Going to watch The Two And Only next, looking forward to more laughter ahead. And a turning of the tide.