Monday, March 14, 2016

Click here for the News.

If the NSA, FBI and the CIA have more sophisticated analytical tools than I do with this blogger app, then we Internet users definitely have no secrets to keep.  With the information I have available to me about each post I write, I can pretty much predict what kind of numbers it will garner and what subjects matters will increase the "circulation" of an individual post. It colors my choice of what to write about if raw numbers are my goal.  Perhaps on a much grander scale this is what is happening in this modern day 24/7 cycle of news.  
The fact is,  I started writing this blog as a personal recollection of my experience on Broadway.  New York is a writers town and it was easy to get material to write about. I simply had to comment on my walk to work each day. But eventually the show closed and I moved back to Encino. Driving the streets of Encino will never be as colorful as walking two blocks through mid-town Manhattan.   Over the years this blog has become more of a stream of consciousness attesting to life and career "ATA" (After a Tony Award®).
As a performer it is hard to disconnect from numbers. Continuing to do the thing you love the most: Performing (in my case that would be "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only") requires an audience. An audience is made up of a number of people. The greater the number of people the more financially successful your  performance. The more successful your performance the more often you get to perform/work.  In the voodoo mathematics of performing it goes something like this  Love = performing = audiences = numbers.  So  Love = Numbers in an emotional non-linear very unscientific relationship.

"That is Disgusting" said Donald TRUMP. 
So it is hard for a performer like myself NOT to be mindful of the "numbers" attracted by what I am writing in a blog. Greater blog numbers, even though totally disconnected from paid ticket sales, become the game. In the Internet world, a click (good or bad, like or don't like, read or don't read) is registered the same. After all it is not a poll, it is simply an activity tracking number.  Here are some conclusions I have come to about blog numbers.  

Numbers for a blog will go up if you:

Attach at PICTURE. - 
(even if it has nothing to do with the story or text. Particularly if it is gratuitous in nature.)

Use the words like : RELIGION, POLITICS, REPUBLICAN, DEMOCRAT, ANAL, PENIS, VAGINA, PORN, BAPTIST, EVANGELICAL, MUSLIM, ISLAMIC, FACIST, SCIENTOLOGY or TERRORIST. 

Use names like: TRUMP, CRUZ, RUBIO, SANDERS, CLINTON, RYAN, HITLER, OBAMA, KARDASHIAN, KANYE, ASSAD, REAGAN or NIXON.

All the better if you can combine the words like: VAGINA MUSLIM, FASCIST RUBIO, PORN KARDASHIAN,  TERRORIST ASSAD,  ANAL CRUZ, ASSHOLE KANYE, PENIS TRUMP.
(note almost any word can be used to modify TRUMP)

Or it also works if you combine names like: TRUMP beds KARDASHIAN, CLINTON screws RYAN, HITLER endorses CRUZ, RUBIO appoints KANYE, OBAMA rejects HITLER or TRUMP beds SANDERS. (Almost any name can be used to modify TRUMP)

The reason for adding these words to your blog is simple. Search engines like Google just look for words and how many times they appear in a certain text.  If someone is searching TRUMP, for example, the more times a word like TRUMP is used in the text,  the higher up on the list of hits in a search for TRUMP. TRUMP is a great word to repeat because with TRUMP there are so many searches that include TRUMP modified by almost any adjective to TRUMP. Dump TRUMP, Dick TRUMP, delusional TRUMP, disgusting TRUMP,  destructive TRUMP all fit and that is just a quick look in the "D" section of the dictionary.  Even if you do not mean TRUMP, as in the name DONALD J. TRUMP, it is still a search engine hit. i.e.  TRUMP suite in a game of cards. There was a TRUMP to his proposal. Aces are TRUMP cards in this game. The point with TRUMP is to just repeat it so that the word TRUMP is registered in a TRUMP search.  It is all about numbers. TRUMP seems to TRUMP other words for getting hits.
TRUMP said it best when TRUMP said, (and this is a legitimate TRUMP quote.)  "I'm educated. I know words. I have a lot of words." said Donald TRUMP.  If TRUMP knows words and TRUMP seems to be leading in the REPUBLICAN polls perhaps we should all start using words. 

So this is what passes for news when you are only looking at the numbers. TRUMP. You throw in things, TRUMP FASCIST PORN BAPTIST, that are not really relative, PUSSY TRUMP PENIS, to the story or in any way important news. KARDASHIAN ANAL CRUZ, are just words, ASSHOLE, to  grab your attention and make you click. TRUMP, NIXON, HITLER, EVANGELICAL RELIGION because once you click you are counted and that PENIS is all that matters.

So,  understand that when I use words like: RELIGION, POLITICS, REPUBLICAN, DEMOCRAT, ANAL, PENIS,VAGINA, PORN, BAPTIST, EVANGELICAL, MUSLIM, ISLAMIC, FASCIST, SCIENTOLOGY or TERRORIST. Or names like: TRUMP, CRUZ, RUBIO, SANDERS, CLINTON, RYAN, HITLER, OBAMA, KARDASHIAN, KANYE, ASSAD, REAGAN or NIXON. Or try to combine them like: TRUMP beds KARDASHIAN, CLINTON screws RYAN, HITLER endorses CRUZ, RUBIO appoints KANYE, OBAMA rejects HITLER or TRUMP beds SANDERS. or any other combination of the words like: KARDASHIAN ANAL CRUZ, ASSHOLE, TRUMP, NIXON, HITLER, EVANGELICAL RELIGION, PENIS it has nothing to do with what I am thinking or VAGINA posting.  And if they get repeated over and over (not unlike a CNN new clip) well that is just good journalism. PENIS, ANAL, VAGINA, TRUMP, ASSHOLE, CRUZ, DOUCHE, CLINTON, BITCH, SANDERS, COMMUNIST, RUBIO, ANCHOR BABY, KARDASHIAN, SLUT, KANYE, FUCK YOU, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP.

Remember this: it's not news.  It's not important, it's not necessary, it's CAPITALISM.  Anything for the buck. News today is not a service it is a hugely profitable business.   TRUMP, PENIS, RUBIO, MEXICAN, CRUZ, SOCIOPATH, CLINTON, FELON, SANDERS, COMMUNIST, SENATE, IDIOTS, SCOLLIA, DEAD, OBAMA*
(*Our first Negro president).

All I really want to do is tell stories.  I wish I didn't care if anyone was listening.
As you were,
Jay  




3 comments:

P. Grecian said...

Well, all I can say is BREASTS, NAKED, TRUMP, JESUS, PORN, WOMEN, GUNS

Thanks, as always, for your ruminations.

Don Bailey said...

This is fabulous. It TRUMPS anything I could write.

Dave Robison said...

Absolutely best TRUMP DOUCHE I have ever ANAL KANYE in my life!