Saturday, December 22, 2012

Is it Over?


Imagine my surprise when I came out of my bunker this morning only to find that the world seemed pretty much the same. Damn those Mayans and their practical jokes.  Boy do I feel stupid, but you got me. But I will never trust an extinct civilization and their calendar again.
"End of the World" Bunker for Sale.... Like new! 
I guess I better get busy and buy Christmas presents.  I don't know what I will say to my sons when they do not get the new BMW's I promised, or my wife when she finds out that I didn't tell her about the bunker.  The only good news is I think I might have a fortune in Twinkies stashed in the safe room.  I understand since I have been secreted away there has been a run on them.
One of the things I thought was interesting during the "last week till the end of the world" centered around the History Channel. It was apocalypse central, almost counting down to 12/21/12 with experts saying that the evidence of the end of time was at hand.  They backed up their research with some compelling evidence that made a very strong case.  However, between the empirical evidence that the world was ending in a matter of days, the History Channel was running ads for next weeks shows.  It tells me that even if time ends the capitalistic interests of the world will be there to sell you a prime seat at scalpers prices. 
The one thing that I never really understood was the time line of the end of time.  No oxymoron here. I knew that the end of the Mayan calendar was coordinated with the alignment on Winter solstice of the sun and our planets with the center of the universe. It was to cause some polar shift or magnetic failure or a gravitational pull on the Earth.  But celestial alignment is a precise moment and like an eclipse it aligns at a certain time and for a certain length.  All the while I was planning my escape to the bunker, I assumed that the cosmos was on Pacific Standard time.  As I anxiously waited for midnight and the beginning of 12/21/12 here in California it dawned on me that 12:00 AM GMT had already come and gone and there was no destruction.  It will be just my luck that after millions of years the Mayan clock has slowed and it is running just about a week slow. Now that I am out of the bunker, the Mayans will once again have a laugh.  You pyramid building, human sacrificing, calendar carving bastards. 

To the readers who have asked, I have not abandoned the blog. Thank you for asking and thank you for noticing. Particularly you Phil, you know who you are. But no excuses for the absence just back to business.
I have now seen a rough cut of the first hour of "The Two and Only" and I am very pleased.  As difficult as it is to watch my own performance I am relaxing a little.  For a time I thought I had produced the worlds most expensive home movie, but alas after what could have been the end of time I am feeling much more certain about the future. 
So... as the last frantic weekend of Christmas shopping is upon us, my intent is to come back to my writing.  This will be a rather low key holiday, just the way it should be.  I am thankful for so many things but mostly that I am not on a plane trying to go somewhere or get back.  I am grateful for a beautiful family and wonderful friends. Now that we know that we have a few more years to go before the apocalypse my intent is to continue to think out loud and write it down.  More later from most of these same brain cells.
As you were,
Jay

5 comments:

Roomie said...

R.....we have missed your blogs, but we too have been hold up under the house with our twinkies, etc., waiting for the end...at one point, we thought it might be a rapture....but...."these hills are still alive....." Glad to know that you all are together....thinking of you all and wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!! (Only if we see each other in 2013!!!!) This site has changed and I don't get it, so we'll see if your get our post with my name, which it doesn't seem to understand....and I have to prove that I am not a robot....goober, maybe, but not robot....we love you and yours and eagerly await the dvd....
R&M

Bob Conrad said...

Welcome back Jay, glad you made it. Merry Christmas.425

Kenny Croes said...

Glad to have you back, Jay. We missed ya. Hope Santa is good to you.

P. Grecian said...

The idea that you would someday return is all that's kept me going here in the basement behind the sandbags.
So you're saying the world didn't end?
I can come out now?
Phew.
Thanks, Jay. :-)

Aaron & Judy said...

It never dawned on me that your lack of blogs was your prepping for the end and "bunkering" down. As others have mentioned your mindful muses have been missed.