The Word

Words are important. How one uses words is how one communes with others. The written word is most important because it can be more permeate than words tossed out in the emotion of conversation. In older days to spread the Word one had to hand scribe a  text multiple times, or own a printing press or some kind of type setting machine. Today a tweet, post, comment or blog can be instantly published to millions in the time it takes to tap a key.

To counteract the sea of "bad" words and stinging comments that currently can contaminate your attitude, I offer a modern day solution. Below is a YouTube video of the written words from thinkers from all over the globe.  Just words of hope, encouragement and Truth that shine like the light on a hill to guide us through our journey. 

Over the years when I have found a word or a paragraph that lightens my heart I have reprinted, or taken a clipping of that phrase to stick on my office wall. These words surround me when I write, reminding me that what one says is very important. How easy it is to become so blind in your own office that you do not see the truth all around. 

It only takes a minute to relax and watch the video. It is accompanied by a touching Irish melody. Let the words sweep your mind clear of the clutter and even if some are not as easily read as others. Like a literate humidifier, let the mere exposure to it improve the way you perceive the rest of you day.

As you were, 

Jay

Okie Dokie

We all believe we can make a difference, and I was always told to speak out.  I was also told I had a gift for gab and I should use it with responsibility.  I will continue to live up to that admonition as long as I believe it is not causing more hatred in response.  I will continue to monitor that balance.
But for now...
I am shocked that people I thought I knew can post things that I can not balance with the person I thought them to be.
I am dismayed that some very intelligent people I know are willing to follow ignorance and intolerance over the cliff. Until I can figure out "what is going on" (the last quote I ever plan to use from the Pres. elect) I will continue to be very careful.
As you were,
Jay

History Repeats Itself

 It has only been a week since the election. That is not enough time to gain a perspective on what is to come... Or is it?

I hear people say and read posts to the affect that we must, "Wait and see, Give the new Prez a chance, We don't know what he will do yet."  To those who think time is on our side I say, Really?  What I think is: If it talks like Fascism, appoints people who are Fascist, is embraced by Racists and makes promises to a disappointed working class that can't possibly be kept, it must be Fascism. I personally have had more than 18 months of this new Leader's rhetoric and lies.  When I hear a duck quack I don't wait to see if it is actually a chicken in the pond.

Yesterday was my worst day.  By the end I was so depressed I went to bed early almost hoping that I wouldn't wake up.  That may sound overly dramatic but for a CD (clinical depressive) like me that can be par for the course, particularly when things seem to be out of my control.

My day started off with rage. So many posts on Facebook from people who have been very laid back about a Trump Presidency are now Trumpeteers with a "na na na- we won and you didn't- na na na" attitude.  I even found myself drawn into a "troll fight" on FB with people whom I will never ever meet. I decided to get off the media feed and see if the world was still turning outside.  It didn't help, that rage continued and I realized I was just aching for a fight. I was waiting for someone to cut me off with a car so I could scream and give them the finger.  I was very irritated that a guy in front of me at the Hardware store check out did not have his check card ready fast enough for me. I felt myself just hoping someone would say something that I could take the wrong way and read their beads.  I know it was all my own interpretation of normal events based on this thick fog that hangs over the nation right now.  

So, I am going to limit my time on all social media and this blog, and turn all my attentions to the book I am writing, which is anything but political. I will also say this to anyone who cares to have a open mind.  After Goebbels was appointed advisor to the Fuhrer in 1930's Germany,  there was no more real news, no truth, only the propaganda and lies that the regime allowed.  Yesterday Sean Hannity suggested that CNN, MSNBC and several other "news" outlets have their Whitehouse press credentials pulled because they didn't support Trump. The Trump himself asked President Obama to "Stop talking to the world... their mine now". And so it goes and the new Goebbels has not even officially taken office.
  

I see the America train heading for the edge of a deep canyon and unfortunately I can't get off.  I get marginalized if I try to warn the conductor, and this causes my depression to rise.  Not heeding the lessons of History condemns us to repeat it.  With the educational level of this country at an all time low it is now possible to fool most of the people all of the time.  

I am white, college educated and live in an affluent neighborhood with a healthy amount of retirement cash stashed away.  If I feel this hopelessness, how must those who have none of these advantages be feeling today with a propaganda guy like Bannon helping run the country?  

Over and out,

Jay

Next Up: Full Disclosure

 

The very haters who elected Trump are now calling for unity and togetherness.  The very candidate that said "throw them out" and "lock her up" and "Beat the hell out of them, I'll take care of your legal fees" and "throw them outside...its cold so no coats...not coats" today told his supporters to "Stop harassing Muslims, Latinos and minorities".  Are you Fuckin' Kidding me? Mr. President Elect... this is your doing you should be very proud of them not scolding them. Those same haters are dismissing civil disobedience and peaceful protests as sour grapes on the part of the progressives and liberals.  The thousands in the street are not exercising the right they were given under the first amendment of the Constitution, they are whiny losers who didn't get their way.  Even those who did not support Trump are saying the protests are "disruptive" and for no purpose. I've seen posts that say, "All they are doing it disrupting traffic and making it harder for real people to get home from work."  They agree with the right to protest, but believe (sincerely) that they should wait till "Something happens to protest about".  Basically they are saying wait till Trump does something to get mad about  THEN go to the street. 

I would like to address these two points one by one. First, "All they are doing is disrupting traffic and making it harder for real people to get home from work." That's the very point.  If Americans can still go about their lives as if nothing happened last Tuesday, we might as well all get fitted for brown shirts and learn to goose step.  The 1930's German people who were not members of the Nazi party, nor Jews, Gypsys, Political enemies, and not homosexuals, nor handicapped went about their lives without disruption while a race was slaughtered, Poland was conquered, Austria annexed, and France invaded.  To make a change the sacrifice has to be shared by the entire country.  The whole of America suffered and sacrificed during World War II. Gas was rationed, food was in short supply and everyone had some close relative involved in the War.  Women had to take factory jobs to make the tanks to send to their husbands who were liberating the conquered. America's involvement in that war lasted 3 years because everyone in the Nation was negatively affected. War is not just a lead story on the evening news, although that is the way war has been waged for the last 50 years in America.

Secondly, Let's wait until Trump does something to get mad about and THEN go to the street. Let me count the ways the President elect  has done something to get us mad. How about:  Mexicans are rapist, Muslims are terrorists, women are objects, homosexuals are deviants, accusers are lairs, competitors are criminals and the system is made to game.  If having a President elect that stands for all those things is not enough to get mad and protest about in the street... I'm not sure what is.  Perhaps it is true that he could shoot someone on Fifth-Avenue and not lose any supporters.  If his own words, temperment and juvenile response to serious matters is not enough to send people to the street what is the galvanizing issue?

The Alt.Right has taken over the Government. They hold the Executive, the Legislative and soon will control the Judicial branches.  The three branches were designed by the founders of the Constitution to act as a check and balance to each other.  There is no check, and no balance if one party controls the government.  Single party rule is called Fascism. The last and final check we as Americans have is protest. Since the last check and balance on this reactionary ideology that has taken over our country is mass protests in the street... let us exercise that right until that ideaology falls.  

The very people who are complaining about the anti-Trump protests are the same ones who praised the Arab Spring protesters three years ago.  We were so glad that the Arab people were taking to the streets to protest the oppression of a corrupt and senseless government.  That is exactly what Americans in the streets are doing now.   We don't have to wait to see it this a bad deal for America... we already know.  The problem is that soon the very supporters who believed this President was the right choice, will find that he is incapable of true leadership, and is only a puppet of a single party government. We did elect and outsider who is not part of the establishment. A wolf is definitely an outsider to the herd of sheep, but putting him is charge is not a good idea.  That is why we protest. He enters the presidency with the highest negative approval rating in the history of America. Now that he has the job where the buck stops, his negatives will only get worse.  All I can say is soon all of us will be in the street protesting this repressive, regime as one people and that ..... is when America will be great again. If not, well, for those of you who elected him enjoy the ride. I chose not to accept the lift. 

Keep protesting, keep marching, keep shouting and keep being Americans.

As you were

Jay

 

A Path, and the guide.

Thank you to friend Jon-Erik Jordan for posting this video.  It is a creative call to everyone who can think and write. The next step of Fascism is to marginalize and stop any reminder of what Freedom really is. We will see the rise of a very misguided electorate who believe their stupidity is true patriotism.  It is a big challenge for creative artists of all genres to hold a mirror to the nostril of hatred to make sure it stops breathing.
It is said much better here:

As you were,
Jay

President Trump

 I am writing this at 12:12 and Trump has just given his acceptance speech.  I am shocked and surprised that America has elected a complete amateur. I do not know how to process this improvable event. 

It will take me a long time to accept this result.  I'm sure that I will have more to say later, but I am for the first time in my life speechless. 

America you elected him you deal with him. 

God help us all,

Jay

What is that Feeling?

 

I feel it. Most of my friends feel it. The whole country seems to be  suffering from it as well.  Some just think that it is election fatigue, I think it is something more. In fact I printed out my opinion of what it is and attached it to the refrigerator.  The note to self reads, "It's Depression Stupid".

There is still so much misinformation about depression most civilians can't really identify it for what it is.  For some, depression is just something you get over.  A momentary sadness that will get better in time as one learns to cope with an unhappy situation.  Their depression is gone before it can even be identified.

No so with us "clinicals".  For us it is not just a situation that has made us depressed, it is a chemical imbalance that keeps us from moving past that "unhappy feeling".  Eventually it becomes a chicken or the egg situation.  Initially we think  we are depressed because of some situation that is happening or has happened in our lives. Everyone has times that are not as productive, happy or satisfying as they could be and it is normal to have darker feelings about those times or events.  The death of a family member of close friend is the most obvious trigger for depression.  Depression is something that all people struggle with at one time or another.   Clinicals don't get past it, a clinical eventually realizes that it is not just the situation causing the depression, but depression is shaping the situation.  It becomes a death spiral. The depression makes a situation unbearable which leads to another situation that is no better than the first. Soon the entire world is a giant pity party requiring more pity and  depression as it begins to feed on itself.  This leads to hopelessness and helplessness as a person's life becomes so off track and out of control it is not worth living that pain anymore. 

Although depression can mask itself as various physical symptoms it is caused by a mental stew of feeling worthless, inability to affect your own happiness or future  and the idea that no choice before you brings any chance of change from sadness, which pretty much sums up this current Presidential election drama being played out.

There are so many conflicting ideas being touted as the truth, and so much hostility from both sides of the issue that even a non- Clinical feels helpless. As we can see an end to this cycle on Nov. 8th, it should be the light at the end of the tunnel and relief around the corner. For a clinical depressive like myself all I see is a new chapter of more hostility that will never end.   John McCain said he will not allow ANY Hillary Clinton Supreme court nominee to be seated at the Supreme Court if she is elected.  Ted Cruz said the same thing in the Senate chambers yesterday. And so my feeling of helplessness and hopelessness seems to just be beginning anew. 

The GOP spouts the idea that this election is about change.  The change they are talking about is a "change" from a Democratic President to a Republican President.  That is not where we need the change. While blocking nominations, killing bills, holding budgets hostage, with their majority in both houses of congress Republicans have done nothing for the last 8 years. In fact they have not just been idle they have made a massive attempt to squelch any legislation at all.  They suppress the way governing is supposed to happen, bully their rivals,  prosecute those they disagree with while their Presidential Nominee says elections are rigged.  If the democrats could rig elections don't you think they would give themselves the majority in congress?

The only change that will be effective is to rid Congress of the Republican strangle hold. Get rid of the Good Ole Boys who have become fat with power. Otherwise the election of the President is just a matter of PR.  

It's Depression Stupid. That feeling of hopelessness. The feeling that I can not change the situation I am in.  The feeling it is going to be bad no matter what I try to do and there is nothing I can do to really affect  my own future.  This is not just a sad time for a clinical depressive it is a sad time for everyone but while some of us may be able to cope with the madness,  there are those of us who will struggle no matter what happens.  

I plan to vote mainly because Prop 64 is on the California ballot.  That is the Pot Prop, and Pot is a well known effective anti-depressant.  No matter what happens on Nov 8th.... we are going to need some safe and helpful ways to deal with it. 

I thought writing about it would help me feel better..... It did not.  Rome wasn't built in a day, but it came crashing down very quickly. 

As you were,

Jay 

Ventriloquist in Dancerland..

A Montalbon Theater full of dancers each with  Joe Tremaine stories to tell.

Joe Tremaine accepting the first of an annual WCA award in his name after watching a stunning dance done on stage in his honor. 

This is the World Choreography Awards Ceremony, awarding a trophy and honors for dance choreographers in categories of all media. The nickname for the World Choreography Awards ® trophy is Corry, which fits in nicely with the Emmy, Tony, Grammy world.  The evening is Terpsichorean Royalty honoring those who create outstanding work in the name of dance.  As I looked down my theater  row I counted at least four Emmy winners attending. It was a beautiful crowd and and exciting evening.

The purpose of an Awards show is to give Awards which is repetitive but the show moved rather quickly and was filled with  production numbers and HD playback (on a great Media wall) of the nominated dances. The live numbers were moving and transformational pieces that spoke to this audience like no other. 

I love the theater, now called the Ricardo Montalbon.  Especially when the theater is filled with the dance world.  Dancers are like no other athletes nor are they like any other performers.  Dancers endow their surroundings with an energy that can only be experienced. I know you might think me bias since I am married to a dancer, but being with Sandi lets me observe the dance world as an insider.  I have observed that dancers are an extended family of brothers and sisters who were all born to dance. It is not complicated, dancing is the life of a party, and dancers are masters of the dance, therefore dancers are the party. It was a audience full of the beautiful and the talented. 

I have been blessed with wonderful friendships and so many of my friends were there. Later I realized, they were all dancers.  I was introduced to everyone of those good friends by my best friend Sandi.  Sandi is the very definition of a blessing in my life.  

Before I get all emotional, I know all my dancer friends will understand when I say: 

 "I would rather be with you dancers than the greatest people on earth."  

As you were,

Jay

A final Debate-

I am not sure we need to suffer through another Presidential debate before the election.  Is there anything  left to learn about either candidate?  Don't we know far too much already? If it was an actual debate with a discussion of policy differences, and political perspective then maybe.  However, the last two debates have been nothing more than a presidential episode of Judge Judy.  The debates have turned into a name calling "rank out":  "Your mother is so ugly, she's a model for Halloween masks."  It is the only thing that can be done since the Trump campaign is based upon the "Oh yeah well what are you?" philosophy.  The determination of who "won" the debate is based upon how many zingers a candidate was able to deliver. And, the networks promote the debate like they promote a heavy weight boxing match.

The fact that the electorate is supposed to dismiss the Trump Access Hollywood tape, as just locker room banter, is ridiculous.  The assumption that the women, coming forward stating that it was more than banter, are lying or are seeking publicity, is the Cosby defense.  It was the same counter argument with Cosby. They even brought up the same questions.  Why are these women coming forward now after all these years?  Why didn't they report it at the time it happened?  Why would Cosby, with all his money and have to drug women to have sex? Why would Trump with, all his money and fame, have to grope women he just met? Rich and powerful men use their power, reputation and wealth as a sword against women more than a shield for them. Just look at what a woman has to go through when she does come out with an accusation.   

At least Cosby had the decency not to refute their complaints by saying they were too unattractive to drug and rape.  Trump has used that excuse for two of the women who have come forward so far. Hidden in that excuse is the implication "I only grope beautiful women."  I guess we have to think like a Trump to understand that the more attractive women are the more susceptible they are to assault.  It is in line with every assault and rape case that ever gets adjudicated, "Well, You Honor, the victim was dressed in a very provocative way." (Read... "she had it coming"). 

Trump is not just a narcissist, he is the narcissist mirror itself. Things that are true for him get reflected by his ego to someone else.  In fact he seems to go after people for the same misbehavior he is promoting.  

Questions about the Trump Charity?  Trump: Look at the crooked Clinton foundation.

Trump sniffed his way through two debates, is he on cocaine? Trump: Something is wrong with Hillary, I think we should both take a drug test.
  

Why won't Trump release his tax returns?  Trump: Why doesn't Hillary release her emails?

 Trump is recorded as saying he likes to grope women, is that true?  Trump: I've heard Bill Clinton say much worse on the golf course, much worse, believe me.

Lots of women are coming out now accusing Trump of sexual assault, are they liars? Trump: My actions are just words, Bill Clinton actually did those things.

_________________________________________

Here are ten suggestions for the next and thankfully last Presidential debate.

-Hillary will submit to being drug tested if Trump will release his tax returns.

-No talking about a person who is NOT running for President.  No mention of Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, George W. Bush.

-Both candidates will be hooked up to lie detector machines during the debate with results streaming live.

-For this one time only, Hillary Clinton is allowed to hold a press conference with the women who now accuse Trump of sexual assault and they will be allowed to sit in the front row facing Trump.

-Both candidates will be placed in isolation booths.  They will not be allowed to hear the audience so they can't play to their invited cheer leaders, and their microphones turned off when it is not their turn to speak.  They will not be able to interrupt the other candidate because the Microphone will be off until it is their turn.

-There will be no determination of who wins the next debate. The only winning that matters  is who wins the election.

-For three hours after the debate all television stations are required to play re-runs of MASH. There will be no post debate with rabid supporters from each side trying to spin the facts you just heard.
  

-Both candidates must stick to talk about what they will do for the country, not things they will do to the other candidate if elected.  (Actually, that one is only for Trump... he is the only one in American history who has ever threatened to "lock up" their opponent if elected.)

-Hillary is allowed to say "What the Fuck?" To the most outrageous Tumpism stated at the debate. But for the sake of the kids watching, She can only use that "trump card" once.

-Finally each candidate from the isolation booth will be required to stick to and answer the question asked.  Their microphone will be turned off if they begin to repeat a well rehearsed nugget or begin to ramble.  

If they are not going to make these ten adjustments to the last debate, why have one.  The only alternative would be to put up a hexagonal cage around them and have a brawl with Mixed Marshall Arts rules.  Trump will be allowed to wear a hair net so he won't mess up his hair, and Clinton will be provided with an aluminum bra and crotch protector.  

As for me, if I do end up watching the debate I will play a drinking game.  It is a simple game I just made up.  Chug a beer every time either candidate is asked a question. That way by the end you don't care, but you are relatively happy,  unlike how most of us in the electorate feel now. 

As you were,

Jay

America Great Again?

 I'm not sure what era Donald Trump wants to go back to when America was "great". I use the word in quotes because I am not sure what the Trump definition of "great' is.  I am assuming he wants to take America back to a time when he personally thought it was "better".  Being the narcissist he is, I assume that means he wants an America that is "great" for Donald Trump.

The Two Faced Apparition. 

I remember a time in the mid-seventies when America was celebrating its bicentennial.  I just moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in show business. America seemed pretty great to me at that time. No cell phones, no personal computers, no twitter, no Facebook, and only a choice of three television networks to watch.  The news was broadcast in the morning and in the evening.  If you missed what was happening  then you would read a newspaper. Information was harder to come by.  To do research you had to use the library.  Before I find myself writing "you kids get off my lawn" I want to make a point.   

At that time in America, a man named Jimmy Carter was running for President of the United States.  In a very controversial interview for Playboy Magazine Mr. Carter admitted that he had sometimes "lusted" for women in his heart.  The Republican party became outraged at his lack of morality and used that quote as often as they could to demean the candidate.  It almost derailed his Presidential bid.  Not unlike the controversy that surrounds Trump with his "star privileged pussy grabbing" comment to Billy Bush. But here is the difference.

Jimmy Carter was using that "lust" comment to say that as a devout Baptist he had fallen short of  Jesus's teachings that said, "if you have lust  after  a woman in your heart you have committed adultery". It was a contrite way to say that he was not perfect in his faith but trying to keep on the straight and narrow path.  To some fundamental religious right wingers Mr. Carter had as much as admitted he was a sinner and an adulterer, and unfit to lead the America.  This was even before the Religious right decided to hijack conservative politics. 

On the other hand, Mr. Trump's comments were not contrite but pompous. He bragged about not only lusting after Nancy O'Dell but attempting to have sex with her, even though he knew she was married. He himself newly married to his third wife.  If the fundamentalist are keeping score that is actually an admission to breaking a couple of commandments in that one statement.  Then, however, in Trump style he doubles down on the statement by saying that he could abuse his "celebrity star power" to take advantage of any woman he wished to "have".   Unlike Carter who was making the statement that as a Christian he was trying to be better, Mr. Trump brags about his conquests and his lack of respect for women.  If we take America back to that time of Greatness, the Trump campaign would be over.  

Two days ago there was a very mean and hateful claim about Hillary Clinton on Facebook. According to this "meme" Mrs. Clinton is a criminal, liar, traitor and unfit to be the President.  The meme originated on a Facebook site called Christians for Donald Trump.  Other propaganda on that FB page says that Christianity is under attack by Hillary Clinton and only Donald Trump can save the Christian faith.   Really? Trump is the Christian cross bearer?  The man who quoted his favorite Bible verse was from, "Two Corinthians?"  Trump? The man who has never been seen entering a church except for participating in his last three weddings. Trump the man who has not just "lusted after women in his heart"  but publicly embraced adultery during two marriages.  The man who openly states that physical qualities of a woman are more important to him than the quality of their character? Trump the man who said he would be dating his daughter Ivanka if she wasn't his daughter.  The Father that agreed with Howard Stern that the same daughter was a "fine piece of ass".  The man who sees people as Mexican rapists, Muslim terrorist, oppressed blacks and refugees as a poisoned bowl of candy?  If his rhetoric of hate, racism and blatant sexism is acceptable to Christians for Donald Trump, I resign.  I disavow my endorsement of Christianity.  In my opinion, Christians who support Trump do not understand the Constitution nor the Bible. 

Maybe we CAN make America great again.  We should start by embracing the idea of separation of Church and State.  It is a two edged obligation, duty and right. It means that America will not impose religion on its people, but neither can Religions impose a government on Americans.  Stop using tax deductible sanctuaries to promote a political addenda. Government should protect all religions and favor none, and  religions should protect any government that keeps the promise of religious freedom for all. 

As you were,

Jay

Hold Friends Close

With a week of friends and relatives passing away, I wanted to remember someone who is still here. This post is a reprint from 5 years ago.  I hope Harry reads it again so he will know how much his friendship means to me.Wednesday, August 05, 2009

What's a BFF?

Once in a lifetime you connect with a person who becomes your Best Friend Forever. 

It was a chance meeting at the Circus Circus Reno showroom with a guy who was hired to be my opening act. I don't know what draws a comic magician to a ventriloquist, but it was an instant connection.

I became the "roper" to the "wise guy", the pitchman to the carnival lifestyle of Harry Anderson. Before the two weeks were up at the Reno gig we had hustled the pit bosses, played on the trapeze and cuffed the head of security with his own handcuffs. They closed the showroom after we left and turned it into a Keno parlor.

It was the crest of "Soap" for me, but Harry went on to become the star of "Night Court", "Disney's Absent-Minded Professor" and "Dave's World" as well as several network and cable specials, most of which I participated in either by producing or performing in or both. We co-wrote scripts, acts and I even wrote the introduction to a couple of his books. For a while we were developers for Macintosh software, and even converted a Mac program into an application we sold to Disney. 

But live shows were where we really excelled. We did annual Halloween shows and April Fool's shows and New Year's Eve shows at any venue that would let us do our thing, mostly during the rock and roll days of the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. We would spend more time and energy in producing those shows than we did for NBC or CBS. 

After his series ended Harry moved to a Green and Green mansion in Pasadena. We converted his basement into a "walk through" spook house that took months to construct. For a party of special invitees one Halloween we tricked, amazed and scared a group of friends with every illusion we could come up with at the time. It was special enough that David Copperfield flew in, before we took it apart, for a command performance. After we tried to establish several companies together we realized that having fun together was much more interesting to us than trying to make a buck. My wife says, "Jay and Harry play together very well." It was Harry who coined the phrase that became the title to my Broadway show, "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only."

Harry moved to New Orleans where he opened a magic shop and nightclub called "Oswald's Speakeasy" dedicated to Lee Harvey Oswald. There was a drink called the "single bullet" and a "grassy knoll". The men's room was papered with the Warren Commission report. Harry's act was the main attraction. We made a deal that I would come into the club and do my act several times a year so he could go on vacation. The club was going strong for several months, and I was ready one week end to come down and survey the club for my show. I never made it. That very weekend the airport closed due to something called Katrina. The town was never the same, Harry closed the shop, sold the club and moved to North Carolina.

After 30 years of friendship it is not so surprising that he would fly across the country to celebrate my birthday a couple of week-ends ago. There were other friends there, but we could have had a great time just the two of us. As usual his toast was the highlight of the evening. His funniest line, "You have to remember, I knew Jay Johnson before he was what he no longer is today." 

My Buddhist friends say we are friends now because of our connection in a previous life. I don't know about that, but I hope we find each other in the next one. Harry always says, "Friends are the family you get to choose". I am godfather to his kids and he is godfather to mine, so I guess we made it official. 

I don't know why I feel compelled to write about this in the blog except to say this. Hold your friends dear, friendship is one of the great gifts we humans have been given. Don't let friends slip away even if they move across the country. In today's high tech world distance is no barrier. Make sure you tell the people close to you that you value the gift of their very existence. 

BFF is thrown around on the Internet like it was a :) or "sincerely" attached to a letter. Not to me... if I use it, I want to mean it. In this case it could not be more accurate, to me my BFF is a BFD. 

As you were,

Jay

Uncle Hoppy

I have three uncles on my Mother's side of the family. (the Toler Clan).  The oldest was Marvin, followed by my Mom, Wilma, then there is Robert and the youngest brother Orville.  I know Robert as Uncle Melvin, Orville as Uncle Hoppy and Marvin, well he was just Uncle Marvin.  Growing up my Mom, Wilma, was called Cricket and when she got married, Dad called her Paulene. My Toler Grandmother, Oma Freelove Carpenter Toler, was Mama Toe.  To add to the confusion Robert, my Uncle Melvin, referrs to everyone in the family by both their first and middle names.  He would never call me Jay.  I was always Jay Kent, my brother Leon Don, Uncle Melvin's son was Ken Ray. When the Toler's got together you needed a Playbill to know who the characters were.  It is easy to see why I thought the Toler side of my family tree was double the size it is. When we got together it was constant laughter, stories and music being played. It was a lively, loving crowd filled with two name cousins. 

Uncle Hoppy was the youngest and was always the baby of the family. Because my maternal grandfather died when my Mom was 12 and Hoppy around two years old my Mom became more than just a sister to her younger brothers, she was the nanny, babysitter and caretaker while Mama Toe had to work to support the four of them.  Until I was 14 we lived in the same town as all my Toler Uncles and Mama Toe.  

I was old enough to  participate in my Uncle Hoppy's wedding to Mona Struve.  Today that memory is replaying itself in my mind.

Hoppy came down with Pneumonia the week before the wedding.  There was some talk about rescheduling the ceremony but it became easier to cure disease than change wedding plans.  Since Hoppy was living with Moma Toe, when he got sick, Mom brought Hoppy to our house so she could take care of him personally.  My brother and I gave up our  bedroom gladly for the ailing Hoppy, and our house became Wedding central for a couple of weeks.

Hoppy's buddy from the Army came to be best man for the wedding.  Thackeray was a Mormon from Salt Lake City, Utah.  I didn't even know what that was nor what it meant.  But I got to watch this guy, who was always in a white shirt and tie, very politely refuse the ubiquitous sweet Iced Tea that my family guzzled, as well as the coffee that was alway brewing. He said he had religious reasons.  Thackeray stayed with us for a few days and he could not have been a more charming guy.  I wondered if I were to give up my childhood addiction to that "crack" Ice Tea, would I become as nice as this guy.  Since I still drink iced tea and before I started to write this I had three cups of Expresso, you can see where all that wondering ended up.  

Hoppy recovered enough to attend his own wedding although my brother was the stand in groom for the rehearsal.  At that rehearsal when the Methodist minister was going over the ceremony my Uncle Marvin  (who had a very wicked sense of humor) said, "Listen Reverand, when you get to the part about 'in sickness and in health' you can leave that out cause they already passed that test."  

Hoppy stayed in Abernathy and when my family moved to Dallas, Hoppy and Mona bought the house I grew up in.  They added on to the house so much that I never recognized it as my house anymore.  To take care of his family Hoppy took over the General Hardware store that serviced the farming community of Abernathy. It was a store that offered not only the hardware but ready to wear dry goods. His property on Main street in Abernathy was the virtual heart of Abernathy.  After Walmart and True Hardware moved in to Lubbock, only a 20 drive from Abernathy the store began to lose customers.  Eventually the store front was turned into an antique shop museum and Music Hall serving pizza and offering the latest country western performers on tour.  Hoppy went from retail store owner to show promoter and presenter in his years before retirement.  

I took my first plane ride and did my first "road gig" ever in my career for Hoppy.  After we moved away Uncle Hoppy hired me to fly back to Abernathy and perform for the ladies night of the civil club he had become President of.  It is hard to believe looking at the 3 million miles racked up on American Airlines, that I was 14 years old before I took my first plane ride.  Hoppy did not know what he started.  We lost Mama Toe in 1985.  Marvin the oldest, passed several years ago followed by his wife Hazel a few years later.  

After losing two people in my life this week, my sister called to tell me Uncle Hoppy passed away.  Walking in Rudosa, NM he had a fatal heart attack.  He had no history of any sort of health issues that I was aware of.  But like my friend Paul Osborne he did not linger he died instantly, and as I get closer to it, that is exactly the way I would like to make an exit.  

Hoppy remained in the town he was born, becoming the exfacto historian of Abernathy.  He knew everyone and everyone knew him.  To know Hoppy was to love him.  He was a wonderful man with a kind heart and gentle presence. He leaves his wife, three daughters, three son-in-laws and a number of grandkids I can't even count.  

Rest well Hoppy. 

Jay

 

Good Bye Paul

 The tradition is to break a magic wand in half in honor of a magician who dies.  Symbolically it says that his magic will not be done again.  Today it will have to be a Zig-Zag Lady cabinet we break in two, nothing smaller would be appropriate for the loss of my friend and magician Paul Osborne.  

From the Brilliant Mind of
Paul Osborne

Paul Osborne was introduced to me as the college guy who was helping to market a Dallas singing group about the time I graduated from High School.  I saw the hand out materials Paul  had done for the group and they were great. Paul could visualize his ideas with a pen and ink and he could write really good copy as well.  It was easy to think of Paul as a future advertising maven.  

It was only a matter of time before a Dallas magician and a Dallas ventriloquist got booked on the same show. It was a few months later that Paul and I were booked to perform together for a Braniff Airline's Christmas Party,  and...I remember that show very well.  It was in an empty aircraft hanger at Love Field on a riser with a sound system that created an echo effect like we were performing in a stadium.  The guy I thought was just a commercial artist turned out to be a really good Magician. Needless to say an  act that was amazing to watch (Paul's act) went much better than an act you have to listen to (my act). 

I only knew two Dallas magicians. Since one of them went to North Texas and knew Paul, I tried to make conversation about the other magician in town. I only knew his name and saw him perform only once.  I asked if Paul knew Garland Kellogg?  Paul said, "Yes and the next time you see that guy grab him, call me and hold him till I get there.  He owes me money."  I am pretty sure from that moment on Paul and I were friends.

The thing that I remember most about Paul's show even then, were the props.  A magic act is all about the props. Mostly what you saw in Dallas were props purchased at Douglas Magic Land.  They worked fine, but it was not unusual to see a Cowboy magician doing the doll house illusion with a box designed and painted to look like a Chinese pagoda.  Paul made his own props.  They looked different, they fit his act, his illusions looked more like beautiful stage sets than oddly coordinated boxes.  Soon Paul was designing illusions for other magicians.  His Illusion Systems were beautiful draftsmans blue prints that not only were great plans to build it, the plans were works of art themselves.  

With Dallas as a starting line Paul and I continued to cross paths as friends and performers as we both tried to create a career for ourselves.  Theme parks were popping up all over the country and while I was busy performing 10 times a day in the stage show, Paul began producing, directing, art designing, building and staffing theme park shows.  While I was grinding them out day after day, Paul had several shows running in several different theme parks with hired performers... doing the 10 a day.  His eye for the look of a show, his ability to draw, his instinct for advertising and Marketing combined with his sense of humor and magic skills made him unique.  

I remember a story that exemplifies how Paul's mind worked.  At a "rides and attractions" conference Paul happened to be having lunch with a guy who sold large expensive carnival rides.  As the conversation unfolded the guy said he was trying to sell a ride to a client.  It was a stock ride where people stand on the inside of a round spinning cage.  At maximum G- force the wheel would turn on its side so that the riders would be spinning perpendicular to the ground.  The guy said to Paul the client wanted something different. 

Paul asked where that theme park was located.  The salesman said, "In Nevada, near Vegas."  

As they talked, Paul took out a sketch pad and began to draw.  At a point when the sketch was ready Paul slid it across to his friend.  It was a sketch of that stock ride only Paul had drawn it to look like a roulette wheel.  With sketch in tow the salesman went back to the client.  They loved the idea and bought the ride.  The salesman eventually gave Paul a 10% commission on the price of the ride. Not bad for a simple conversation over lunch. Paul could put his imagination down on paper so those less imaginative could see what he saw.  

Over the years if Michelle and Paul were in Los Angeles, or Sandi and I happened to be in Dallas we would have a dinner out together. It was all about friendship, showbiz stories and laughter.  You didn't "catch up" with Paul after being apart for awhile, you tried to hang on and pick up where you left off.  One evening I got to the waiter before he brought the check arrived and paid it.  I told the waiter to say that Garland Kellogg had picked up the check.  It became a call back joke.  The college guy who owed Paul money became a punch line, perfect retribution.  The last time I used that name was three days ago when I replied to an Osborne Facebook post. 

This morning I found out that Paul was gone. I will miss his presence on Earth in ways that highjack my emotions. Since most of our relationship was spent laughing, I smile at the thought of Paul Osborne, then feel a profound sadness that I will never laugh with him again.  

Michelle said he didn't like funerals, nor memorials, maybe he wouldn't even like this tribute to his memory in a blog.  I know he was a regular reader of my blog and we shared the need to rant out loud occasionally.  We had plans to work on a book project together that I was looking forward to very much.  It wasn't about the book, it was about the excuse to creatively hang out with my childhood friend Paul. 

So Paul, it wasn't a very satisfying goodbye. I will always be in awe of your talents, your humor, and your personal magic.  Since you spent your life building magic illusions is doesn't seem right to break a wand in your honor.  So I will just look forward to laughing with you again some day but for now I don't want to think of you as gone.... Magicians never die... they just disappear.  

As you were,

Jay

Happy Weekend.

 

Dub and Mary Frances

 Edward Albee said, "I write to know what I'm thinking about."  Today I am thinking about Dub and Mary Frances Crain.

If I had godparents growing up they would be Dub and Mary Frances, MF to most of her friends. They were my parents best friends and lived next door to us in Abernathy, Texas. Dub was the band director of Abernathy Public school where my Dad was Superintendent.  I remember many times going to sleep in the back of the house with the smell of cigarettes and brewed coffee supporting the conversation between my parents and  Dub and MF in the kitchen.  I loved clandestinely monitoring their stories and laughter. Dub was a Navy guy like my Dad and there were plenty of "Sea Stories" when they got together.  I was too young to understand all the things they talked about, but Dub made my Dad laugh more than anyone else could.  Dub taught me my very first note of music, a love that stays with me even today as I play the very piano that Dub arranged for my parents to buy.   Every tuner that tweaks that piano tells me how great it is even today.  It wasn't just a piano that Dub found for the family, it was a really great piano.  

Mary Frances could not have children so my brother, sister and me became her children until they adopted their first child. Eventually Dub and MF adopted the same family of two boys and a girl. But before they moved away when I was in junior high school, I thought I was one of the Crain's kids. 

I remember with great joy the day that MF came over to the house with hoopla hoops for me and my sister.  It was the hottest toy of the day and on a school administrators salary it was financially out of reach for my family.  But my next door godmother bought them for us.  That hula hoop was only a symbol of the love that I felt for both the Crains.  

The families kept in touch for a long time after Dub left his job as band director and moved from Abernathy. But as geography would have it the connection faded over the years.  Their new family grew as ours did and eventually addresses became out of date and years went by. But for me, I never forgot the adults that loved me when I was a kid. 

Although I have not seen them for more than 60 years, and Dub passed away a couple of years before my own Dad. I found MF on Facebook and developed a FB connection with her over the last few years.  We corresponded with meme's and messages that reminded me of how much those two people meant to me when I was a kid.  It has been far too long since I got a message or a "like" from her. Today I heard that Mary Frances passed away.  

Although my destiny was not to be found in Abernathy, Texas, growing up in that tiny town gave me a sense of protection that I will always be grateful for. To know that living right next door was a couple who would not think twice to help and/or protect me and my family is a priceless gift for a child.  

I am sure I told her in my adulthood how much she and Dub meant to me, and she expressed the same love back in those FB posts, so I don't feel there are any missed chances or unresolved emotions.  And even though we had not been geographically close for a decades she will always have a special place in my heart. 

Today when I play my piano it will be in honor of the godparents/neighbors who introduced me to that gift of music.  Welcome home Mary Frances.  Give Dub and Ferrel Ray a kiss for all of us.

As you were,

Jay 

Politics will continue......

 

The Trump Drinking Game

 So who knew that the drinking game for the debate last night would be "take a drink every time Trump sniffs" and "chug a drink every time Trump takes a sip of water".  Back in the 80's if someone had been sniffing all the time, spouting rambling thoughts of self- absorbed importance and thirsty all the  time, I would have used the word cocaine to explain those actions. In fact the best explanation for his sometimes incoherent bull shit, total narcissism and complete disconnect from reality could very well be cocaine.  From my experience with coke heads it fits the pattern completely.  

His constant interruption with childish retorts, like "that makes me smart" when Ms. Clinton suggested that he pays no income tax is more evidence that he not only is an egotistic paranoid sociopath, but perhaps a cocaine user as well?  In Trumps favorite form of communication, the Tweet, Howard Dean suggested the same thing, Cocaine.  

There are so many things that made me yell out loud at the television last night but the most disturbing was a constant statement by Mr. Trump bragging about his "property".  No matter what country or city was mentioned Trump's knee jerk response was, "I have property there."  He said it so many times it struck me as quite dangerous.  If he became President and there was some necessary action to be taken toward a country where "he has property" would his first thought be the good of the country or the value of his "property" in that other country.  Since we will never see those tax returns of his we will never know for sure.  However, if he considers that paying no taxes while making a billion dollars makes him "smart" then I suppose he considers Al Capone a fricken genius.  

In fact as I listened to Trump last night he sounded more and more like a Mafia boss than a man who would be president. About NATO he said- we are protecting all these countries - they need to pay us for that. ( Mafia calls that protection money).  Regarding trade from other countries he said, they need to pay us. (Mafia skimming off the top of the profits).  On Iranian boats harassing our ships he would "blow them out of the water".  (Mafia allows no disrespect for a made member). 

Once again he sent hugs and kisses to Russia's Putin saying no one knows for sure who hacked into the Democratic computers. "Maybe it was the Russians, maybe it was a 400 pound guy sitting on a couch somewhere."  The FBI has determined it was most likely Russian hackers who accomplished the hack, but facts are not anything that a Mafia Boss need to be concerned with. 

Trump is an aged spoiled brat who has been able to buy anything he wanted, no matter who he had to stiff to get it.  Trump is the poster boy for the 1% who control most of the wealth in the country and his proposals of lowering those "job creators" tax rates is the old "trickle down theory".  Trickle down doesn't work, never will in this country.  He admitted he thought it was smart not to pay taxes, why would it be smart to pay any of his workers a decent wage, or in some cases even the wage he contracted to pay them for their work.  

The deal is... I am just wasting my time talking about how dangerous, stupid, ill-prepared, destructive and racist Donald Trump is.  Those who think that a person with his lack of intellectual curiosity is what America needs will never be smart enough to see through his bull shit.  If there are enough  sheep around for Donald to sheer and he actually wins the Presidency, I will get no pleasure in writing a plethora of  "I told you so" blogs.  That assumes he doesn't push us into a thermo-nuclear war before I get the chance to write them.

There are real issues about where the loyalties of a President Trump would lie. (I use the word "lie" in both its contexts). Often the interests of the Nation are greater than the biggest corporation in the Nation, and may even be at odds with corporate rationale.  I have no doubt he will think like a "business man" first and "president" second.  That is the very platform he is running on.  He is going to treat America like it was one of his casino's.  For those who think America needs a "business man" at the helm,  why don't you get a "business man" to perform your next surgery. America is more like a Non-profit Organization than a publicly held corporation. Based solely upon his ability to run his own non-profit, it is not something Trump is very good at.  

I have sworn off political posts, and will again after this one. I just can't get past the idea that the America I see every day is too kind, too intellectual, too progressive and too good to fall for the kind of hateful, uninformed, narcissistic rhetoric that Donald Trump spews.   I remain totally baffled.

As you were,

Jay 

Fred Willard

Fred Willard had a birthday last week.  In the World Willard, keeping statistics like the number of years you've been alive is an insignificant activity.  The numbers that fill Fred's mind are baseball statistics and a God given sense of timing that must involve some genius level comedy algorithm.  They say a comedian "says funny things" and a comic "says things funny" so therefore - Fred Willard. 

I have been a fan of Fred Willard for longer than I can remember. In the Ace Trucking Company Fred stood out as a guy who didn't look like a comic. Fred looked like the weekday anchor on the news.  Fred's timing and delivery blurred the lines between straight man and comic,  Fred can be both, often at the same time. Many years later after crossing paths,  we became friends.  

Everyone knows Fred from their favorite character he has played in countless movie roles and television shows.  I only have to say, "No Eyelids Girl" to a friend of mine and he will not only laugh out loud but know I am talking about Fred Willard.  It would be hard for me to pick a favorite part from his resumé. I like all Willardisms. 

I told this story about Fred at his birthday party. Since I told it in front of him, I guess it is okay to write about it now.  I preface the story by admitting it can never be as funny "on paper" as it was in the moment it happened.  That having been stated:

It was a benefit performance for Actors and Others for Animals at the Grove theater in Upland.  It was an all star line up of talent and a full show.  The men were crowded into a small dressing room with a low ceiling.  Like boxers warming up for the fight the comics were throwing punch-lines around to test their timing.  Some of the lines get giggles others just smiles some get a real laugh like you would suspect with cell full of jokers.  

Fred has been sitting quietly on a chair smiling and or laughing at what is going on.   I notice he is wearing very brightly colored and oddly patterned socks on his feet. I figured there was a funny story behind the socks, I mean they are on the feet of Fred Willard. 

So, I say loud enough for the entire room of comics to hear, "Hey Fred, do those socks come in men's colors?" 

Remember the barroom scene in Western movies when the bad guy pushes open the swinging door? The piano player stops playing, gamblers stop gambling, drinkers stop drinking and every head turns toward that one guy.  That's what it was like in the dressing room at that moment. No one snickered at my line, they all  turned to Fred awaiting a Willard comeback. 

I am now rethinking my decision to bring up Fred's socks.  The silence in the room is deafening. Maybe everyone else knows something I don't know like, 

"Hey what ever you do don't tease Fred about his socks." 

I feel like I am hanging out to dry. No one is coming to my defense saying,

"It's okay Fred, Jay doesn't mean it, he didn't know."

There is nothing in the room but impending anticipation.

Fred slowly stands up from the chair wearing only boxer shorts, formal shirt and those socks. It's as though Fred didn't hear my smart ass remark, although everyone else in the room certainly did.  Silently he takes his pressed trousers from the chair and carefully drapes them over his left arm.  

He walks carefully and deliberately across the dressing room to an oversized utility closet. The only place with a door.  He gently opens the door and hangs his pants neatly on an overhead water pipe;  then pivots and slams the door as hard as he can.  

The room burst into laughter nearly drowning out the echo of the big bang.  It was the perfect Jack Benny take, not rushing into comedy but making it come to him, trusting in the exact moment to get the laugh. That is algorithmic comedy timing. It was the biggest laugh of the night and Fred never said a word. 

Several people ran to the small dressing room to see what had happened, the bang was so loud there was genuine concern.  The answer finally came when  someone caught their breath from laughing and said, 

"Jay made fun of Fred's socks". That also got a laugh.

Here's to you Fred. Still celebrating the day of your birth.

As you were,

Jay

Strange Seasonal Occurance

-Meme -

This is the first time in 37 years that Halloween falls on a Friday 13th. It will not happen again until 2029. Snopes has classified this statement as "questionable", but it is a simple task to prove the veracity.

 Halloween will fall on Friday the 13th this year, and here are the facts. 

First, you received this information through some sort of Internet. And... everything on the Internet is true.Why?  Because it is so easy to fact check  information on the Internet.  Why would you write something on social media that isn't true, when anyone can prove it false with a thumb stoke on a smart phone.
What are we? all stupid?*
  
More importantly this FACT comes in the form of a Meme, like the one above.

Just so we are all clear on the concept of a Meme, here is the definition: Meme - a cultural item in the form of an image, video, phrase, etc., that is spread via the Internet 
and often altered in a creative or humorous way.

We didn't have Meme's when I was a kid. The closest thing we had was Grandmother's needlepoint Samplers framed on the wall.  It would be a well stitched phrase of homespun truth for all to see. Who would go to all that trouble to needlepoint a lie on a Sampler? Certainly not your Grandmother.

So there we have it. Halloween is on Friday 13th this year.  How cool is that?

I shall print, cut  out and attach this Meme to my refrigerator so that I don't forget to celebrate this rare occasion on one of my favorite holidays.

*I have a point to this. So much information is flashed to us daily and constantly it can be overwhelming. If you hear or see something enough it starts to ring true.  Some facts are not so easy to verify. The Truth is Out There. If we don't grab it for ourselves, then, Yes we are all stupid.

As you were,
Jay

Something to hide?

I know you are as tired of this presidential election cycle as I am.  It's a good thing that ballots do not contain "none of the above" because at this point that is who's trending in my mind.
And just when you think things can't get any more absurd, to be transparent and open about his health, Donald Trump is going on the Dr. Oz show tomorrow.  I made the joke yesterday that I assumed Trump would release his tax returns on Jim Cramer's Mad Money show. The fact that Mr. Trump has made a mockery of the election process points to the fact that he will make a mockery of the Office of President if elected.

But let's get back to those tax returns.

When I apply for mortgage or refinance the first thing they ask me for is a copy of the last two years of my income tax return. I would love to say, "Proceed with the loan, I am being audited and as soon as that is over I will send them." The lenders would NOT say, "Oh sure... No problem". Rather the loan process would stop at that moment only to proceed (maybe) when I had sent the tax return.  

The mortgage banker wants that information so he/she can determine if I am able to handle a big loan.  That, along with a credit score will let them know if I am financially responsible. Now understand this is a loan that is secured with real property of equal value to the loan.  If I fall behind and really can't handle it, the people loaning me the money will take the property.  As a real estate investor and landlord I am sure that Trump never rented to someone unless they showed a copy of their tax returns. 

Okay, stay with me on this analogy.  Trump and Clinton are basically applying for the Presidency of the United States. We the people are loaning them the Presidency for a few years.  Now I have never been President, but it would seem to me that job takes a lot more responsibility than paying for a house in the suburbs. Yet one of the applicants has not shown me his tax returns so I can determine if he is fiscally responsible.  His bankruptcy's are well known, his losses publicized, which makes it more important that I determine if he is able to handle the job. Why is this not a deal breaker for the application of President? If I can't own a house without revealing my tax returns, how is it that an applicant to own the Presidency for four years is not held by the same standard.  Isn't being President a lot more important than being a home owner? 

My theory is this.  There is something in Trumps tax returns that is revealing and not flattering. There is the belief that, after four bankruptcy's, traditional financing on a large scale is not available to Mr. Trump, and he has resorted to using Russian Mob loans for his capital.  Who knows?  Trumps finances are like Schrödinger's cat in quantum theory of superposition.  Right now Trump is a billionaire business man who has the golden touch and he is also a con-man crook living off the money from Russian loan sharks.  Until the box (tax return) is opened both conditions are true. 

I think there is something very fishy about his finances and Trump has no intention of ever making them available to know for sure.  He is hedging his bet.  With 8 weeks to go before we vote he would be a fool to release them now.  It would be 8 weeks of explaining, defending or dismissing the information auditors might find. If he wins.... The issue will be buried.  If he loses, then the issue is moot.  The only way he loses is if he reveals his taxes and doesn't win the Presidency.  Then when he tries to go back into the private sector everyone will know "the cat is dead". 

So Tomorrow don't expect Dr. Oz to reveal anything but "amazing results" from Trumps phantom physical. And don't expect Trump to ever release his tax returns.  And especially don't expect a President Trump to be respectful of the office, the country or "We the People."

As you were,

Jay