Medium Rare's Weakly Astrological Projections.

Astrological forecasts are provided for entertainment only. Please no wagering or gambling based on the information contained here in.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Aquarius - Although it seems you are between a rock and a hard place it is not the case. That is not a wall you are butting up against but your own limitations. Try a more gentle approach and see if there is an easier way through.

Pisces - – So much of your life is lived in anticipation of events that will never happen. The good is never as good as you think and the bad often never happens. In both cases they are never the way you imagined. Don’t stop imagining, just stop expecting. Go with the flow and take it moment by moment and savor the reality.

Aries- Just decide what you want to do. You really can't make a mistake, both paths are leading to the same destination. Each will be its own journey. Enjoy the ride. Do it now.

Taurus– Your visions are coming together and the future you saw is happening. It has become obvious the last couple of years that you can affect your future so always see the good and prosperous, not the shadow and un happy.

Gemini- There has been a sea of trouble for you, but there are calm waters ahead. Don't let indulgence dull your senses to what is coming. You need a clear head so you don't get over confident in the calm. Make the sale you are thinking about.

Cancer– Maybe you should move from your comfort zone and stretch a little. Look into another career while you have this job in hand. It is not that this job is bad it just may not be sustainable. It might not be the future that you want.

Leo -The year has been good and looks to be getting even better. Your birthday is coming and it will be a major celebration. Enjoy it and know that more is coming even if there is a turn in the road. Buy a dog.

Virgo –Your experience tells you that you should stay out of the troubles of home. But don’t run away. Try and see if you can be part of the solution and help solve the problem. You will know quickly when you should back off. But don’t be afraid to use your knowledge and your strength.

Libra- That one o'clock appointment is very important. Go for it and you will hit the mark. It is the Zen like approach that you need most. Think through the target. Wear something with feathers.

Scorpio– Do not worry if you have enough strength for the task. The task and the strength are one. You will be able to do what you need to do today. If you do not get as far as you thought know that this is were the journey has taken you. Where you are now is exactly where you are supposed to be.

Sagittarius- You are mad and ready to strike, but the reason is all gone now. It is time to cool off. You don't have to fight or hide under a rock, there are more options opening up. Enjoy the sunshine.

Capricorn– True friends are always there. Others who are not true friends will try to confuse you. Don’t worry the truth will always come out, and the more you do not resist the truth it will come out faster. Parasites usually flee from the light. Once you have cast a light on them they will evaporate.

The Pearl of the Day

I don't think Adam Corolla is funny. He is the liberal Al Capp of the 21st Century. By that I mean he is "witty" or "humorously informative" perhaps "egocentrically verbose" but I rarely laugh out loud. He has an early morning radio show here in Los Angeles. If I am up and running around in the car I catch his show. It's a habit left over from listening to that station when Howard Stern ruled. I never laughed out loud at Stern either, but he had a compelling way of making me listen. Probably it was the voyeuristic nature of my libido. At any rate I thought Corolla had an excellent insight yesterday morning. Not necessarily funny just "humorously informative".

Mr. Corolla said we should all develop the sensibilities of the rodeo bull. It went something like this: "So here is this bull and someone gets on his back which really makes him mad. Bull says to himself 'I am going to gore this guy in the sternum so hard, just as soon as I can get him off my back.' All the time he is kicking and turning he is thinking, 'I am going to kill this guy, I am going to ram my horn right through him, just as soon as I can throw him off.' Throw him off and gore him, that is his single minded purpose. But as soon as the bull has dislodged the rider and is ready to horn him he says, 'Wait a minute... look at that over there... it is clown and he has a funny red nose. There shouldn't be a clown in here. I'm going to knock that idiot out of the pasture. I am going to gore this guy in the sternum so hard...' With that the bull goes after the clown totally forgetting about the guy who tried to ride him. "

The point being that we should just deal with the problems that are facing us at the moment and not dwell on revenge or old issues. The bull gets the rider off his back, then he is on to the next irritation, the clown. My advice is, always go after the clown first it is just a matter of priorities.
Hope you have a great weekend.
As you were,
Jay

Mozart

Happy belated birthday, Wolfgang. Tuesday was the birthday of Johann Chrysostom Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, better known as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. He died when he was 35 years old, but Tuesday he would have been 253. He is in his late twenties as seen here in this painting I jacked from Wikipedia.

I'm not a music historian but Mozart has always fascinated me, no more so than recently. I was having a conversation with a guy recovering from an elective surgery. He said he couldn't take the prescribed Oxycontin for the pain, so someone suggested the "Mozart Effect". He told me that instead of the pain killers he listened to the music of Mozart. It had a calming, healing and regenerative affect on him. He was helped through his pain by the Mozart effect. My smart ass remark was, "Imagine how good you could feel if you listened to Mozart and took the Oxycontin." He was not amused nor impressed with my quick wit.

However, I looked it up on line and there is research into what is called the "Mozart effect". It seems, unlike other classical composers, the music of Amadeus stimulates an abundance of alpha brain waves which are stimulating and very good for you. Alpha waves are present when your are in REM sleep or the dream state of sleeping. Alpha waves help children learn more and older people retain their memory. They have also been linked to some healing affects like the man described in our conversation. So... what the heck. It is cheaper than prescription drugs and if you get hooked on Mozart the only side effect is becoming a music snob or perhaps a nerd.

There is a great story about Mozart as a child. His father and a musician friend discovered a 6 year old Amadeus scribbling on sheets of music staff paper one afternoon. As they looked closer the two men realized that Mozart was writing music for the piano. The notes had structure, harmony and seemed to follow a theme. Mozart's father said to his friend, "It is obviously piano music but it is of no use because it is so difficult no one in the world could play it. "

"I can." said Amadeus and proceeded to play the piece on his piano.

"It's a concerto", the six year old said," It must be practiced."

I guess the moral to the story is that we should never look at a task as impossible until we have at least tried practicing it.

Happy Birthday, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
As you were,
Jay

Digital Artwork

I'm a Mac Head. I was drawn, literally and figuratively, to the first Macintosh Computer primarily because of a program called MacPaint. It was a simple black and white program that let you draw on the screen using the mouse as a virtual ink pen. You could print out a sketch about a third the size of a standard 8x10 page. The pixels were so large it looked like something that was made with Legos. But, drawing on the computer was a new and exciting experience and I have never stopped.

MacPaint gave way to more complicated art programs, full color, full page and eventually PhotoShop and drawing on a computer is still one of the things I like to do best. I recently filled several gigabytes on a hard drive with just artwork over the years.

Last November I found a blank pre-stretched canvas in the closet. It seemed to be calling out to me. I dug out my supplies and decided to actually paint. Well, one canvas led to ten more and suddenly I found myself in a sea of acrylic paint and brushes. I started painting on cardboard and even plywood when I couldn't get more canvas. Since I was a little kid I have turned to my artwork when I get depressed. All I can say is that the fall of last year offered may reasons to turn to my artwork.

The techniques of painting on a computer screen and painting a canvas easily compliment each other and I get the same charge out of doing either. However, there is one advantage to digital artwork, storage. I am running out of studio space. I overlooked how easy it is to store paintings on a flash drive rather than stack canvases in the corner. Above is a snap shot of a few paintings I have been working on the last month and a half.

I remember visiting an artist's house years ago in Vancouver, BC. It was piled ceiling to floor with canvases stacked three and four deep. Literally four layers of canvases covered every inch of wall space in a four bedroom house. She said, "I have a hundred thousand dollars worth of paintings in my house... if anyone would pay me for them." I realized it was true even at the price of a dollar a canvas.

The good new is I am performing The Two and Only at the Colony Theatre next December for a couple of weeks. Attached to the theatre is an art gallery and I have already contracted to show my art there at the same time the show runs. The last time we did this it was unusually successful. I am just concerned that if this depressing muse decides to stay I will be drowning in canvas by next December.

As you were,
Jay

WiFi Intelligence

Will Rogers once said, "All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. " Just imagine the dept of his ignorance had Mr. Rogers been born during the time of the Internet.

Yesterday it was reported in a television news cast that Britain's Prince Harry had broken up with his steady girlfriend, Chelsy Davy. The fact that this is worthy of broadcast will be left for another discussion, but here is the scary part. The reporter stated that although an official Royal spokesman would neither affirmed nor denied the story "Chelsy Davy's FaceBook page had been changed from a status of 'in a relationship' to 'unattached'. "

FACEBOOK? Frickin' FACEBOOK is now a reporter's confidential background source for the news? This rhetorical question loops back on itself to become its own answer. (Not unlike a dog chasing his tail so fast that he eventually runs up his own ass and disappears) If the footnote to a news story has the word FaceBook in it, then it is not really a newsworthy story.

One can find earlier blogs on my dislike of FaceBook . I am first to admit that I don't get it but in true FaceBook fashion my lack of understanding does not mean an inability to judge. Perhaps I need some metaphor to help me understand the real world equivelant of FaceBook.

Let's assume that surfing the Internet is like a person walking down a city street. There are stores and library's to browse if you choose to explore. If you want to sent a letter you send an email, if you want to talk to someone on the street you text an instant message. Here is where the comparison gets hazy. FaceBook, I guess is supposed to be like Cheers in the Internet world. Someplace you can go where, "Everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came."

But this dog really doesn't hunt. In a virtual Cheers people aren't mumbling in the corner about their current status for all to hear. At the bar in virtual Cheers, there aren't people thrusting pictures of themselves in your face, or pulling out projectors to show you their latest video. Nor are there people coming up to you saying, "Would you be my friend. Confirm that we are friends. We have never met, but let's exchange all our personal information, and I will share your information with everyone I meet..... Oh... I just became friends with that guy over there, I think you ought to become friends with him too. Then he can share your information with everyone he might ever meet."

It seems to me that FaceBook is the virtual equivalent of walking into a mental hospital full of the terminally narcissistic. It is a place where people are so friendly they drool on you. A place where "friendship" means you are forced to listen to all the things a stranger did today, yesterday and tomorrow. You can look through albums of compromising pictures of FaceBook inmates and actually see the dysfunction of the group of friends you are now in league with.

Will Rogers got out just in time. Had he been alive today he would have been a blogger. His voice lost in a sea of ethernet FaceBook status statements and his genius reduced to the length of a Twitter.

As you were,
Jay

What is in a Word?

Last week I went to a Chinese herbalist/acupuncturist for a muscle sprain. After the treatment he applied some rather foul smelling ointment to my arm and massaged the area. The ointment came in a small spray bottle which he gave me to take home. The label was written in Chinese, but there was a small paragraph of instructions on the back in English. The Doctor said to follow the instructions.

Later when I got home and had a chance to read the directions here is what it said: (Obviously translated from Chinese) "Message effected (sic) area with hands 4 5 minutes 2 3 times a day."

At first I thought this was going to be a long day of "messaging with hands". They had forgotten to tell me that one two letter word was missing in a couple of places in the instructions. It was the word "or". The instructions were supposed to read: 4 or 5 minutes 2 or 3 times a day.

Maybe this is what has been happening in China more often than we know. Maybe they have been leaving out a couple of small words in their directions. What if they dropped the three letter English word "not" a couple of times by accident. Assume for a second that what the directions really said was, "Do NOT put Melamine in babies milk." This could explain a lot.

Happy Chinese New Year... it is the Year of the Ox, and we are leaving the year of the Rat.... no political comments please.
As you were,
Jay

"To the Moon, Alice... to the Moon." Ralph Cramden

Medium Rare's Weakly Astrological Projections.

Astrological forecasts are provided for entertainment only. Please no wagering or gambling based on the information contained here in.

January 24, 2009

Gemini - You are traveling soon. The holidays look very bright for you. You can make the old ways and your new person fit together an easy way. Just be who you are now and don't worry about how people have seen you in the past. This is another major passage for you.

Cancer– Do not worry if you have enough strength for the task. The task and the strength are one. You will be able to do what you need to do today. If you do not get as far as you thought know that this is were the journey has taken you. Where you are now is exactly where you are supposed to be.

Leo– True friends are always there. Others who are not true friends will try to confuse you. Don’t worry the truth will always come out, and the more you do not resist the truth it will come out faster. Parasites usually flee from the light. Once you have cast a light on them they will evaporate.

Virgo–Your experience tells you that you should stay out of the troubles of home. But don’t run away. Try and see if you can be part of the solution and help solve the problem. You will know quickly when you should back off. But don’t be afraid to use your knowledge and your strength.

Libra– Maybe you should move from your comfort zone and stretch a little. Look into another career while you have this job in hand. It is not that this job is bad it just may not be sustainable. It might not be the future that you want.

Scorpio– Your visions are coming together and the future you saw is happening. It has become obvious the last couple of years that you can affect your future so always see the good and prosperous, not the shadow and un happy.


Sagittarius– So much of your life is lived in anticipation of events that will never happen. The good is never as good as you think and the bad often never happens. In both cases they are never the way you imagined. Don’t stop imagining, just stop expecting. Go with the flow and take it moment by moment and savor the reality.

Capricorn– Tough Love is sometimes required and necessary. However, don’t forget that you can catch more flies with honey. There are times that you just need to acknowledge that someone is hurting. They will correct themselves if given enough positive love. Why do you always need to be the one who pushes the lessons in their faces?

Aquarius– The world will not come to you so you will have to go to them. Keep pushing no matter how many people try to distract you. There are those who will poke at you and tease you but you will soon leave them behind. Push forward, stand your ground if that doesn’t sound like a contradiction to you then you have found the way.

Pisces- Since there is not end to your service to others, you need to find time for yourself. You do not need to make sure the entire world is happy before you smile. It is the reverse, smile and the world is more likely to become happy. You need to be of service to yourself as well in these times.

Aries– The see-saw was always your favorite playground toy. When you were up you could see forever and when you were down you knew you would be up again soon. Your life is like that a series of ups and downs. Remember that and know that it may take two for a great see saw ride.

Taurus– Don’t give up so easily. Nothing worth while can be taken for granted. The long trip is part of the destination. Work at it and become what you seek. True value is earned and delivered. Never be afraid that it is not coming so quickly.

Inauguration Week

Just as a footnote to the "changing of the guard" this week. Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts incorrectly recited the Presidential oath of office on Tuesday to Barrack Obama. Wednesday the Chief Justice came to the Oval Office and without cameras or ceremony swore in the President one more time. There were enough concerns over the public goof to repeat the oath to be completely complicit with the Constitution. So here is my concern.

John Roberts has known for a very long time that he would administer the oath of office to whomever won the election. Since November Justice Roberts has known it would be Mr. Obama. The Judge knew it would be administered in front of world wide television cameras and a crowd of almost two million people. The oath is 35 words, and normally it is simply read from a piece of paper. With history and the Constitution on the line, don't you think Justice John could have rehearsed a little to get it right?

I mean come on. In the 44 times the oath has been given over two decades, it has never needed a "do over". In some cases the oath has been given by a Supreme Court Judge half again as old as young Chief Roberts. If he was still a law student he would have gotten a D or maybe an F.

Here is my suggestion. Since it can be done in the Oval office the next day why not hire an actor to give the oath on camera? An actor who could memorize 35 words and deliver them with the emotion the moment requires for a good show. Get one of those actors who make a career out of playing Judges on television. One of the guys from Boston Legal, or Law and Order, a guy that knows how we think a Judge would act. Even better call Judge Wopner out of retirement or if you need to add a comedy element, Judge Judy.

I mean the show must go on. Next time hire the right talent.

As you were,
Jay

The Villain

I don't think my friend Harry reads this blog but he gets credit for the laugh of the day. We share our opinions on politics and a lot of other things regularly. We mostly agree, but the differences in our thinking makes for a much more interesting friendship.

The one thing that we absolutely agree on is Dick Cheney. We don't like him.... at all. Never did and never will. He is evil. I mean... movie screen evil, an honest to goodness bigger than life cinema villain. Sitting in the wheel chair for the inauguration yesterday he conjured images of Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove character, trying to prevent his right arm from making the Nazi salute.

However, Harry called it right when he compared Cheney to another screen villain. He said, "What the public doesn't know is: sitting in his wheel chair under that black coat, Dick Cheney has an envelope with eight thousand dollars of Bedford Falls Savings and Loan money inside." It is the perfect likeness of Cheney. I laughed out loud when he said it. Dick Cheney is not Dr. Strangelove he is the evil Mr. Potter from "It's a Wonderful Life".

Cheney's not the evil misguided intellectual genius of Strangelove set on destroying the world, but the greedy bastard Mr. Potter who is trying to own the world. If the truth be known I think he is a little of both. Good riddance to him and his cronies.

Thanks for the laugh, Harry.

As you were,
Jay

Life Lessons

My youngest son contends I never taught him to shave. I believe it is an excuse to grow the beard he now proudly displays. However, I don't remember conducting an actual lesson on shaving for either of the boys.  I'm not sure I was ever specifically taught to shave by my Dad, either, but leaned from watching him. Funny what you remember teaching, learning or not from your parents.

So, the other day at a dinner party my son was graciously and elegantly pouring a glass of wine for a guest.  He filled her glass with the proper amount and turned the bottle at just the right moment to prevent a drip.  He displayed the skills of a Sommelier so I said,  "Well, I may not have taught you to shave, but I obviously taught you how to pour wine."  He furrowed his brow at me and said,   "Everything I know about wine was taught to me by a professional clown on a cruise ship."  Although the statement itself made me laugh, I realized it was the truth.

Years ago the kids accompanied Sandi and me on a cruise to Alaska.  On the same ship were several other entertainers and friends who were performing for the cruise.  On one of the formal evenings we all had dinner together.  When the wine arrived the juggler/clown/mime and friend Mickey O'Connor took the lead.  He began a running comment on the wine, how to taste it, how to look at it, how to pour it, all for the benefit of my boys.  They never forgot that evening and the wine lesson, and even years later they can use the knowledge at just the right moment.

I guess they have not had a normal life, but in the long run I think it has been a charmed life.  I am blessed with friends. Perhaps that is the greatest gift you can have.

As you were,

Jay

A MEMORY OF LONDON

Here is a blog from July 7th of last year. It was mid run at the Arts Theatre in London. I'll explain later why it has been included. Julia is of course my PSM and Ruthie called the show.

As Julia and I were coming down the stairs last evening we heard a commotion on the steps behind us. It was Ruthie lugging the vacuum down to the stage trailing the hose behind her, which was banging loudly on every step she took. Ruthie was mumbling something about James and how disgusted she was with him. It was not until we arrived on the set that we realized this James Ruthie was complaining about was the vacuum. The "hoover" she carried was not red like Henry; it was painted yellow and on the yellow vacuum forehead was the name James. Ruthie was complaining strongly that Henry Hoover was absent and in his place was this interloper, James. It was clear that her feelings for James Hoover were not as strong as they were for Henry. Julia and I tried not to get involved since we did not know the hoovers personally and James seemed to be doing a fine job on the carpet. James, however, was suffering the abuse of Ruthie who clearly did not think James Hoover was worthy.
"I want to know what happened to Henry", Ruthie kept asking with a plaintive cry. But there was no one to answer. Certainly James did not explain and the Fairy Godmother of the Vacuum obviously had the day off. For the life of me I can not figure out why there were faces on vacuums and why one named James replaced Henry, nor could I relate to why Ruthie was so disturbed by the switch. It seems very British as I think about it. Henry the first replaced by James the suck-sessor. But Ruthie was clearly not pleased. After watching her disdain of James and listening to her rant I knew that it was another case of Ventriloquial Environmental Insanity. (VEI) , People who go crazy when in proximity to a ventriloquist for long periods of time. She had completely anthropomorphized a vacuum-cleaning unit. One might think the ventriloquist would be the one to start feuding with and talking to an appliance, but no it was the Deputy Stage Manager who is suffering from VEI Interesting side note, I found out that Julia's parents are psychiatrists. I'm sure that was her main qualification to work on this show.

So, That was back in July. Just last week I get this item in the mail. It is indeed a miniature replica of Henry. He now cleans up my computer keyboard and reminds me of my friends Ruthie and Julia on a daily basis. I look at Henry and smile remembering the great times, even though they were short at the Arts Theatre. I can't help but think about poor James. It's just a very tough thing to be the little brother.

Thank you girls. Good clean fun.
As you were,
Jay

Cecil B. DeMille

The story goes that Cecil B was directing one of his extravagant crowd scenes for the "Ten Commandments". There were literally thousands of extras, hundreds of animals and several cameras he was trying to wrangle to get the shot he wanted.

Toward the back of the large crowd two women caught his eye. They were whispering to each other and paying no attention to DeMille while he was setting the shot. DeMille stopped what he was doing, took his bull horn and yelled at the girls, "Excuse me Ladies. I am setting a very difficult shot here, it is costing thousands of dollars and the two of you are paying no attention. What could possibly be so important an issue between the two of you that it would take precedents over my production?"

The two girls made a gesture of contrition and stopped talking. But DeMille continued, "Tell us. Tell the whole crew what was so important that you had to say it in the middle of my shot?" Again the girls waved him off with a sorrowful motion of apology, but this was not good enough for the great DeMille. He clicked his bull horn on again and said, "No, no, I insist that you tell us all right here and now what you were saying to your friend...."

One of the girls sheepishly looked around and finally said back to DeMille. "I just asked my girlfriend, here, when she thought the old Bastard would call lunch."

DeMille glared at the woman, thought for a moment, picked up the bull horn, clicked it on and yelled. "Lunch."

As you were,
Jay

Your Fortune looks good.

Medium Rare's Weakly Astrological Projections.

Astrological forecasts are provided for entertainment only. Please no wagering or gambling based on the information contained here in.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Aquarius- Stop trying to beat the legal system. You must find the balance within yourself, because established systems will always let you down. Just pay the fine and get on with your life. Keep a clear head.

Pisces - Things are happening fast and you need to stay on top of them. Perhaps you need to a break from your pod so you can swim with others on your journey. If you only know the ones around you, how can you help them become enlightened. Expand your family.

Aries - Try to be yourself and not what you think others want you to be. It may be that you have to be more truthful to yourself and admit that you are no angel. It is okay, no one is perfect and if you think others see you that way you are probably wrong. Let go.

Taurus –Don’t give up so easily. Nothing worth while can be taken for granted. The long trip is part of the destination. Work at it and become what you seek. True value is earned and delivered. Never be afraid that it is not coming so quickly

Gemini - Your roar is much worse than your bite. You are really a pussy when you get called on it. Forget about being in charge. Adopt a cat.

Cancer - The see-saw was always your favorite playground toy. When you were up you could see forever and when you were down you knew you would be up again soon. Your life is like that a series of ups and downs. Remember that and know that it may take two for a great see saw ride.

Leo - Get out of the house. Have some fun. The shell you have built up around your life is not letting in the sunshine. Meet some friends for crab cakes.

Virgo - - Since there is not end to your service to others, you need to find time for yourself. You do not need to make sure the entire world is happy before you smile. It is the reverse, smile and the world is more likely to become happy. You need to be of service to yourself as well in these times.

Libra - Get over yourself. Stop trying to multi-task. It is okay if you only do one thing in a day. Relax and let someone else take the rein. Take yourself out to dinner and let the other one pay.

Scorpio - The world will not come to you so you will have to go to them. Keep pushing no matter how many people try to distract you. There are those who will poke at you and tease you but you will soon leave them behind. Push forward, stand your ground if that doesn’t sound like a contradiction to you then you have found the way.

Sagittarius - - In spite of others thinking it is the end of the world, you believe differently. Things are looking up for you. There is no reason to be happy except to be happy. Be strong and work hard for someone else in your life.

Capricorn - Tough Love is sometimes required and necessary. However, don’t forget that you can catch more flies with honey. There are times that you just need to acknowledge that someone is hurting. They will correct themselves if given enough positive love. Why do you always need to be the one who pushes the lessons in their faces?

"Miracle on the Hudson"

Being a person who travels by airplane too much in my career, I was captivated by the successful ditching of the US Air flight yesterday in New York. I think they should give this pilot a ticker tape parade. He is a certified glider pilot and experts say this may have been the biggest factor in his success. The fact that he kept the plane from breaking up as he made the turn over the Hudson with both engines out is amazing. According to the news coverage this pilot accomplished a feat that has never been done before.

When I say it has never been done before, that is a fact. There has never, before yesterday, been a successful "ditching" of an passenger airline in water.... ever. The speech you always get from the flight attendants about life jackets, and floating seat cushions until now has been a total fairy tale. In most cases the plane breaks up, cartwheels or nose dives when it hits water. There is never a chance for any sort of organized evacuation. The only way an evacuation is even attempt able assumes that the plane can glide slowly to a stop in one piece. Until yesterday no pilot has ever been able to do that successfully.

Three cheers for Captain "Sully". I think they should advertise which plane he will be flying next so we can all book that flight. For me, I will no longer scoff at the instructions the attendants give about inflating my life jacket after leaving the plane. I will also be hoping that they take the black box of Flight 1549 and program Capt Sullenberger's technique into the simulators.

As you were,
Jay

SOAP and leg Cramps

A lot of people have questioned my sanity from the Blog entry about the Soap trick for leg cramps a few days ago. When I told Marsha that the treatment worked she wrote this back to me:
"Ya know -- sometimes things just work and it's not up to us to question how....go figure..."

Today I get a note from the Wiz in New York. She suggested the remedy to her theatre crew and they began to question her sanity.

So here are some Internet references proving that if we are insane we are in good company.
(Cutting and Pasting is recommended)

http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Deal-with-Leg-Cramps-21797177

http://www.healthdiaries.com/blogs/parentsfault/archives/2006/01/soap_for_leg_cramps.html

And finally a Snopes reference which labels it "undetermined"
http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/legcramp.asp

On a personal note, after bounding out of bed too many times in instant pain trying to stretch out calf muscles that seem to petrify in my sleep, I am willing to try just about anything for leg cramps. As to why the soap thing works, I will repeat what I told the Wiz. (My apologies to DeForrest Kelley)

"For God Sake, Jim, I'm a ventriloquist not a doctor."

As you were,
Jay

RANDOM MEMORIES

Atlantic Theatre Company - Presents "The Two and Only"

I love this picture. The sepia tone totally captures the romantically nostalgic feeling I have for the Atlantic Theatre. All pictures edit the environment but the emotion this picture conveys attracts me to it.

I remember the theater exactly this way. We did more than 100 performances of "The Two and Only" at this theatre. And because it was the first run of the show those performances take on an almost mystical quality. The Atlantic is a converted church which stands only a drive way apart from a Cathedral that is currently in use as a church. I think that the religion of show business was never so apparent as when we did shows at the Atlantic Theatre Company.

It became the beginning journey of a Tony Award winning show. Who knew that back in those days? Isn't that how all show biz myths are born and perpetuated? Well, if a picture is truly worth a thousand words then this is word 1172.

As you were,
Jay
(1176 words)

Restless Leg Syndrome

This is a helpful hint from Marsha Williams. Recently over coffee Marsha and I started talking about our common problem of leg cramps. She offered a rather interesting remedy for getting sleep when you experience that "restless leg syndrome". She said to put a bar of Soap under the covers at the foot of your bed and the symptoms go away. I think I made some sort of glib comment, but she assured me that it worked.

On a trip to San Francisco last week I found myself trying to go to sleep in an unfamiliar hotel bed while experiencing leg cramps. I could not get comfortable. I remembered my conversation with Marsha and on a whim went into the bathroom and got one of the bars of soap. I took the wrapper off and placed it between the sheets at the foot of my bed. To my surprise the cramps went away in a few minutes and I slept like a baby.

I offer no explanations other than on this occasion the treatment worked for me in a situation where all other resources were not available. It could be psychosomatic but for whatever reason, it solved the problem this time.

I put this idea out there as an informal research project. If you have a similar reason to try this treatment, please leave a comment as to the effectiveness of the cure. As with all experiments on this blog it is meant as an intellectual exercise, please no wagering.
As you were,
Jay

Looking Up

I hope you got a chance to experience the full moon this weekend. I always forget how much light a full moon gives off. Fortunately the sky was extremely clear Saturday night in Los Angeles and the moon looked like a ping pong ball in the sky.

I understand how the moon became such a mystical shrine. It is such a regal presence measuring a month. I think I must have been a Druid in a former life and probably worshiped Luna.
Don't forget to look up.
As you were,
Jay

Taking a Day Off

Medium Rare Signs

More Rare Signs from the medium at large.

Astrological forecasts are provided for entertainment only. Please no wagering or gambling based on the information contained here in.

Saturday- January 10, 2009

Capricorn - The coming year looks to be getting even better. Your birthday season is very exciting for you now. Enjoy it and know that more is coming even if there is a turn in the road. Take some time to be a friend to your pet.

Aquarius - There has been a sea of trouble for you, but there are calm waters ahead. Don't let indulgence dull your senses to what is coming. You need a clear head so you don't get over confident in the calm. Make the sale you are thinking about.

Pisces - Just decide what you want to do. You really can't make a mistake, both paths are leading to the same destination. Each will be its own journey. Enjoy the ride. Do it now.

Aries- Although it seems you are between a rock and a hard place it is not the case. That is not a wall you are butting up against but your own limitations. Try a more gentle approach and see if there is an easier way through.

Taurus - In spite of others thinking it is the end of the world, you believe differently. Things are looking up for you. There is no reason to be happy except to be happy. Be strong and work hard for someone else in your life.

Gemini - Start looking to the future. Try to find the thing you like to do so much you would do for nothing and make that a career. It is okay if you only do one thing in a day. Relax and let someone else take the rein. Take yourself out to dinner and let the other one pay.

Cancer - The think you need most is sunshine. Recharge you batteries. Get out of the house. Have some fun. The shell you have built up around your life is too thick. Meet some friends for crab cakes.

Leo - You have had some incredible insights and your communication skills are very acute right now. Forget about being in charge. Just be. Know the now that you are. Adopt a cat.

Virgo -Stop trying to beat the legal system. You must find the balance within yourself, because established systems will always let you down. Just pay the fine and get on with your life. Keep a clear head.

Libra -Try to be yourself and not what you think others want you to be. It may be that you have to be more truthful to yourself and admit that you are no angel. It is okay, no one is perfect and if you think others see you that way you are probably wrong. Let go.

Scorpio - That one o'clock appointment is very important. Go for it and you will hit the mark. It is the Zen like approach that you need most. Think through the target. Wear something with feathers.

Sagittarius - You are mad and ready to strike, but the reason is all gone now. It is time to cool off. You don't have to fight or hide under a rock, there are more options opening up. Enjoy the sunshine.

The bird
A bird decides not to go south for the winter. "Why fly all that way just to come back here in a few months" he thought. So he stayed put. The weather began to get really cold, but he stayed. The food was scarce after a few weeks but he stayed. Finally he was so cold and weak from hunger he changed his mind and headed south.



By this time the weather was too bad to fly in and it began to snow. Thick ice began to collect on his wings. He was too weak to even flap and crashed into an icy pasture. He could not move and began to freeze. Just then a cow walked by and shit all over him. "What a way to die, frozen in a dung heap" he thought to himself and bid farewell to a cruel world.



But, a strange thing happened. The dung was warm and insulated him from the cold. He began to thaw. Although he could not free himself from the heap he was at least alive. He was so happy he began to sing as if it was spring time.



A curious cat heard the singing and started digging in the dung pile. Suddenly the bird was free. He flapped his wings, screamed "I am saved," and the cat ate him.



This story has three morals:



1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.



2) Not everyone who digs you out of the shit you got yourself into is your friend. And...



3) If you are happy with the shit your in don't sing about it.



As you were,

Jay

www.monkeyjoke.com

Da Venus Code

I always get confused with that John Gray book, "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars". When I am not looking at the title I forget which sex is from which planet. Granted this geographical sex question does not come up often, but when it does I have to strain my brain to sort it out. I finally came up with a childlike rhyme to help me. "If you have a penis you are not from Venus." The fact that "men" starts with the same letter as "Mars"could work just as well, but you don't get to say the word penis. Ha Ha... penis. It is almost as good a word as "wiener." But I digress....

This Christmas we got a card from a family we usually hear from at this time of year. For the sake of discussion let's call them Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill are always the first ones to send a card but instead of being one of the first cards we received, this year, it was, indeed, the last. This fact alone was enough for my Venus wife to take notice. Jack and Jill always send a picture card with the five family members posed and happy. I normally take notice that they usually pose around some new expensive item. One year it was their new Hummer and another year by the pool of their new house. This time it was only a picture of the Jill and girls posed in a snap shot outdoors. Upon receipt Sandi said, "Take a look at this."

I noticed that the girls had grown a little and they still looked like Jill, but nothing else struck my Mars mentality. I think I made some remark like "What happened they didn't buy anything this year?" Sandi gave me a look and said, "I think Jack and Jill have split up."

Sure enough upon tutored examination of the coded photo I too saw the Venus code. I might have thought that Jack was not in the picture because he was the photographer, but upon more examination we found it was sent not from Jack and Jill, but only Jill's name was on the return.

This is how one Venus female communicates to the other Venus females that she has "dumped the Bastard". What else are they communicating that we Martians do not have access to?

Watch your backs Martian Men.
As you were,
Jay

A Quick Joke

I'm not sure why this joke comes to mind. But I won't question it. After all, if this thought is rolling around up there it needs to be expunged.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender serves him. Making small talk the barkeep says, "You know, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper thinks for a second and says, "Wow, that's amazing, you mean you have a drink named Murry?"

As you were,
Jay

Writers Reluctance

I am reluctant to write a blog today.  Yesterday I got a belated "Christmas Letter" from a distant cousin.  We get one of these letters every year and it has become a running joke in our family. 

I am an admitted anecdote snob,  but this Christmas letter never fails to break new ground in grammatical incongruity depicting banal occurrences.  I know a Christmas letter is not supposed to be a script for the Hallmark Hall of Fame. It is supposed to be just a catch up, highlighting the activities of the kids I have never met and a summary of the family activities. This year it was the regaling escapades of stalking a cockroach found in the sink.  For those of you who didn't grow up in Texas, like me, a roach discovered in a Texas sink is the equivalent of discovering snow in Alaska. Perhaps, however, the events would not be so utterly devoid of interest if the writing was better. 

This cousin is a college graduate who is married to a college graduate and elementary teacher. However, in the two page, small type, single spaced recap of their year the letter changes voice, tense and person several times. If offered as an example of a letter from an "English as a second language" student, it would be encouraging.  This however is not the case. 

I know not every one's talent reside in the area of writing, but you would think that after all the years of constructing these Christmas letters my cousin would get better at the process. Nope. It continues to baffle me how the ink actually sticks to the paper with such a poor foundation.   

Which brings me to my reluctance to write this morning.  I am sure my cousin thinks the Christmas letter is a noble effort and is proud of the work.  Not unlike my blog here.  (Not so much the nobility nor the pride, but the work.) Perhaps my next blog will be about a cockroach I found in the sink this morning, and I will have "jumped the shark" without any awareness. I have a vision of Miss Gayland my Junior High School English teacher reading my blog and repeating, "That Boy never did learn a thing in my class, always playing with those puppets.... what a waste."

So if you are out there Miss Gayland, I'm still writing and still playing with dolls.  You taught me more than you know. Too bad you didn't have my cousin in class.

As you were,

Jay  

This is a great way to start out the New Year.  Here is a story that appeared in the Daily News about my friend Marsha.  She has been the silent angel for many starving artists giving of her talents and funds when she can help.  Here is a public example of the kind of heart she has.  I am glad that Dennis McCarthy gave her some of the glory and credit she never seeks for herself.

I think it is the highest compliment to say that I don't know anyone like Marsha.  I count myself lucky to know her and after reading this article you will understand why. 

(You'll have to copy and paste this. But it is worth the effort )

http://www.dailynews.com/ci_11369290

As you were,

Jay

Supporting Thesbianism

The New Year in Stars
by Medium Rizza Rare

A RARE look at the new year ahead as the stars line up for 2009. It is an odd number year, the end of the our first millennium decade and the beginning of so much that is new.

Astrological forecasts are provided for entertainment only. Please no wagering or gambling based on the information contained here in.

Saturday January 3, 2009

Capricorn - Combinations of three and nine are all good for you this year. Look carefully to the numbers of your life, they are all around. Like following a road map to your destiny you will see the signs this year.

Aquarius - This year is will be like the rest. Big thrills and a few spills. Just know that sometimes you learn more from the spill than the thrill. The experience of the year is what you make it.

Pisces - Be the balance this year. Be the peace maker. Be the one who holds it all together. The world may not see the glue that is holding it together, but they know it is there. You don't have to be wishy washy or toot your on horn. Be strong.

Aries- Abundance is yours this year if you will accept it. The delivery has your name on it. That present you got this year will help you organize your life. Use it well and remember to give back with service and support to those who need it.

Taurus - Love is yours this year. More loving relations with those in your life now, and greater friendships and loves to follow. There is room for everyone, you don't need to butt anyone out. Be inclusive of all your ones in your circle.

Gemini - There is time to do what you want. The only deadline is the one you are imposing on yourself. This is a great year for you. New environment, friendlier and more like home. You miss the adventure, but it has shaped you for this moment which is great.

Cancer - Is the long dry spell over with the coming of a new year? There is no way to know but to know. It is what you make it. Never forget that you are always protected, provided and proven. Keep your faith and know the truth.

Leo - There may be less travel this year but business will be booming. It may come to you that you do not have to travel to far to keep the business up. Your experience is affecting the whole no matter where you are. You really can be two places at once if you want to be.

Virgo - This is your year, a year of finding out what you are and who you are. That helping project you started last year is paying off now. You can already see how the time helped you as much as you were helping others.

Libra -It is another year and there has been a lack of balance for the last few. You really can get out from under the oppression you have placed on yourself from your past behavior. Be more considerate of people in charge. They are there for a reason, work with them and not against them.

Scorpio - This is an important year. You have taken care of so many others so well, it is time to remember yourself. Make time for you. It is not neglecting the ones close to you. They may need space too. Make this year one you will look back on and say I kept my sanity.

Sagittarius - It is important this year to stay on the straight and narrow road. It will be easy to become distracted and you will miss the mark. There will always be another mark to hit so it won't cause you trouble, it will just delay the game. Put your blinders on and move a head.

Activities for Today

As you were,
Jay