I'll be back soon.

Until that time comes...

As you were,

Jay

Quickly before it Rains

I'm in Fiji for 24 hours waiting to catch a ride on a cruise ship to Hawaii. I lost a day and all contact with my world during the eleven hour flight. I think this is Friday but it should be Thursday. Finally I was able to connect with the internet (such as it is here) when I got to the hotel.  It was slow expensive and buggy, then completely went out for 8 hours when the rain came.  For those here on vacation it didn't seem to matter that they were off the grid. For me I was trying to straighten out my transportation to the ship from the hotel.  There seemed to be some problems with my ride and how long of a drive it is from the hotel to the dock.

In my years of travel the one thing that will go wrong when everything else is perfect is ground transportation.  Don't know why that is but it is definitely a rule for me. Once I am in the ship I can vegetate before I have to work AND I can walk to the theatre. But until I am in my cabin and looking back on Fiji there will be some anxiety. 

Because it is important to me, over the years I have developed a relationship with several of the drivers on various Caribbean islands.  Jamacia George is my favorite. Obviously a driver in Jamaica.   He has been driving for RCCL for 20 years or more. I am always glad to see his face at the airport or the dock. I know he will get me to my next destination. 

Rory in St. Martin is the other driver that is always there for you, also driving for RCCL more than a decade. He had a Cadillac stretch which created a lot of attention on the island. It might have been the only one on St. Martin.  The last time we met he had an Escalade, still a lot of attention but a different kind.  In addition to being a driver he is also a personal body guard for celebrities who visit St. Martin.  

He is cut like a Greek statue and extremely strong.  You never worry when Rory is your driver.

The internet is about to turn off unless I pay for another day so I will publish and move on to my career as a sailor.

Probably not much availability to publish when I get on the ship. Here is a parting shot.  A picture of my view from my Villa on the beach. It is a shame I only get to enjoy it for 24 hours.

As you were,

Jay

Writers Block

I guess it happens.  Going to the mental well the last few days it seems the water table has dropped. My bucket comes up empty.  This fills me with anxiety because, whether we will admit it or not, every artist believes that the last idea he or she had could very well be their last. In a profession that is judged by your NEXT successful project, it is extremely depressing not to have one. 

It is part of the "people pleasing" phenomenon that seems to dominate actors and performers.  Perhaps it is also true with non-performing careers, although I wouldn't know. All generalities are untrue, even this one but, in the career of the arts no matter how much you are loved by those who actually know you,  it becomes more important that strangers love you as well.  It is a struggle to find your own benchmark and extol your own uniqueness rather than become the vanilla flavor that is universally liked.  The number of artists that have become modern icons but were dismissed by their own generation is an unusually large number. In a world where even Facebook values "likes" and "thumbs up" it becomes important to be known by the unknown masses rather than have the admiration of those who actually are your friends and family. Are people valuable only when they are known by the greatest number of strangers? Do we all fear being unknown?  I really don't understand the value of celebrity. Fame seems a really cheap trade for privacy. 

Fame is also a double edged sword.  The public will embrace the negative aspects of your career with the same relish as your successes.  Fame is fickle and it does not care if you are famous for being a hero or a villain. It is the deal you make with fame. 

My friend Ann says that the rule of writing blogs and posts is: never discuss your depression because no one cares.  I totally agree.  Why should any one care? We are all trying to keep our own spirits up in these odd times. Besides what is more depressing than to be around someone who is depressed? Depression is not accepted as a disease but just a condition,  and one should "get over it." I have never heard of a Facebook prayer request for someone who is experiencing debilitating depression. Yet, daily someone is appealing to their Facebook list to intervene on behalf of a sick or dying relative.  To spin the prayer wheel one must have a "medical" not a "mental" condition.  The last time it was okay to pray for cure of a mental condition was when the world believed it was caused by demon possession. 

In the words of Spaulding Gray... "I cannot write the lie that tells the truth." I just have to wait until I see the truth and write about that. 

Until that moment comes.

As you were,

Jay

The Blood Moon 4/15/14 12:09AM PST

Won't Beileve Your Eyes

My Friend John Hardman, master puppeteer, posted this YouTube on Facebook. It is absolutely wonderful.  The skills of a mime, a puppeteer, a magician and a juggler in one seamless performance. I love the simplicity of art and beauty of talent driven performances like this.
Enjoy.
As you were,
Jay

That Magical Face...

My Trophy Jerry -
I got him in an Ohio Antique shop
while on tour with Sheilds and Yarnell

 I remember the exact moment I first saw that face. He sat in the corner of the front window at Nichols Toy store, eyes cocked toward me as I walked by. If you were in downtown Abernathy it would be impossible not to pass this window. The entire Abernathy, Texas metropolis downtown was only a block long. Nichols was the only toy store in Abernathy and it regularly displayed games, dolls and the newest toys in that window, but there was never a toy like this one before. There was no doubt in my mind this little guy was waiting for me. 

I did not grow up watching the Paul Winchell and Jerry Mahoney Show. Lubbock had two television stations when TV finally came to the panhandle of Texas.  One station was a CBS affiliate and the other was NBC. Paul's show was on ABC.

I knew Paul Winchell and Jerry Mahoney from guest appearances on the other networks. Paul was not the first ventriloquist I ever saw on television.  I have racked my brain trying to remember who was and I can not.  It was likely a vent on the Ed Sullivan Show. My family never ever missed The Ed Sullivan Show on Sunday night.

I knew exactly what to do with that puppet in the window and I couldn't even pronounce the word ventriloquist at that age. I remember begging my Mom to buy this puppet for me. The request was never taken seriously.  I visited my new friend almost every day. The owner of the toy store demonstrated how the string at the back of the neck opened the mouth but he wouldn't let me play with the doll unless I bought it. Eventually Nichols got tired of demonstrating the doll for me and I had to be satisfied with just looking at him. 

One day when I came to visit, Jerry was gone. In his place in the corner of the window was a little girl's coloring book.  The only Toy store in town had only one Jerry and someone bought him. It would seem that my relationship with my first ventriloquist figure had abruptly come to an end.

A few days later I was invited to the Birthday party for a kid from down the block, Billy Bob Drace. I was very shy as a kid and parties were very intimidating for me.  My Mom insisted that I go and attempt to fit in.  It came time to open the presents. The third present opened contained MY Jerry Mahoney puppet. The rest of the party is a blur. Although "playing with the toys Billy Bob got" was not on the list of party activities that day, I knew eventually I would be back at his house and get to actually touch this magic doll. That time came about a week later when I went over to Billy Bob's house. I had to pretend I was interested in his new board game; we even had to play a round.  But I kept my eye peeled for Jerry. 

Finally I spied him face down, slumped over a small football near the toy chest. I didn't recognize him at first because his green suite was gone and he only had one shoe on.  The muslin fabric of his unclothed body made him look like a ghost in long underwear. 

Judy's Jerry on the shelf.
Same model but not the same puppet.
The original was destroyed in a flood.

I held him up and reached for the string at the back of his neck to open his mouth. Before I could, the mouth gaped open and the chin fell half way out of his head.  The rubber band which held the mouth closed was already broken. As I stared at Jerry in the face... he would not look at me. 

It would be five or six years later before I saw that face again.  This time it was at my cousin Judy's house. He was fully dressed, in perfect condition and it was the more advanced version of Jerry... this one had an independent moving head not just a string at the back of the neck.  Details of that story are chronicled in the play, "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only" (SOON to be available on DVD for a select few.) Needless to say it was the beginning of a 50 year relationship with these magic creations called vent puppets.

Thank you Paul Winchell for the gift of Jerry Mahoney.  His face still lifts my spirits and reminds me of a day when the future was the un- manifested dream of a five year old. 

As you were,

Jay

Weekly Left Overs

FLASH

The Oscar "Blade Runner"  Pistorius trial continues with Oscar on the stand.  I love a good high profile trial... however, I'm not sure I would call this one good.  He admitts he shot his girlfriend. Says he was trying to protect her.  He shot four times through a closed door because he felt threatened by what he thought was an intruder hiding in the closed toilet.  What if it was an intruder. How would he know that the intruder didn't have his girlfriend inside the stall as a hostage.
Oscar never called her name to see where she was, he just shot blindly through a closed door.  The way I learned it from cop shows is,  you take a position, aim and yell, "Come out with your hands up I have a gun."  I think he is going down for this one.  Are there prison issue prosthetics? They didn't allow Michael Milkin to wear his hair piece in jail.  

FLASH

Flight MH370 is still missing. And it is still "Breaking News" on CNN.  Malasia now says it knew the plane had turned, and dropped to 4,000 or 5,000 feet on the day it went missing.  Information that should have been known minutes after it was declared over due in Bejing.  Why is it just now coming out , 33 days later.  Something is very fishy about this story, that is probably why it has been such a compulsion with CNN. Some are saying the plane might me resting on the sea floor like the Titanic. In reality the sea floor where they are searching is thousands of feet deeper than the ocean where the Titanic lies.  At this point in the ocean they say the pressure is like having the weight of a Cadillac Escapade pressing down on a space the size of your finger nail. The structure of a ship is not the same as an airplane.  There is no way any part of it is "intact". The fuselage of the 777 would be crushed to the diameter of a garden hose long before it rested on the ocean floor.  I say we are years away from having any more information than we do now. 

FLASH

Hillary Clinton had a shoe thrown at her while she was on stage in Las Vegas.  I was amazed by her composure and dignity in a situation that is very scary.  I once had a person throw an ashtray at me while I was on stage.  It was in Tahoe not Las Vegas, not that the venue is the issue.  I may have come back with a joke, but I don't remember, it was extremely stressful.  I had a hard time getting back to my act and I was shaking when I got off stage.  I wanted to go after the guy in my anger but Casino security had already thrown him out of Ceasars. There is not way to explain how frightening it is to have a object fly out of a darkened audience toward your face.  

FLASH

Larry Nelson posted a text exchange from a guy and a girl in a relationship. Here is how it went.

"Hey... where are you and what are you doing?"

"I'm home. Long day and I think that I am just going to turn in... Where are you?

"Standing in line behind you at the bar."

FLASH

Recently my friend Michael said his young daughters had a great idea. It seems when the cordless phone at the house rang it was always an "Easter Egg Hunt" to find where it had been left.  His youngest said, "They should tie a string to the phone and attach it to the wall so we could always find it."

FLASH

It is Friday.  Have a great weekend.

As you were,

Jay

Is this the right App for an Argument?

There are a few things that Facebook does really well. 

How else would I know how delicious your lunch looks,  if you didn't post a picture. 

How would I know which Wizard of Oz character I am or what my "Blues Name" would be or how cute your dog or cat is without Facebook.  

I love those old photos on Thursday, can't get enough of them.  And who can resist informative posts that end with... "Send this to 20 of your friends or you will get crotch rot in three days."  If this was Facebook I would now publish a picture of me with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. 

However, high on my gratitude list of "things I like most about Facebook", is posts from my friend, Ann Anderson.  She is a wonderful person, excellent writer, one of the first stage managers for my Tony Award winning show, but mostly Ann is very funny.  I usually laugh out loud at her posts.  I don't mean LOL... I mean an actual laugh. I miss Miss Ann and wish she was geographically closer. That is another thing I like about Facebook, physical geography doesn't matter, we can all meet in this media middle. 

But, Facebook is NOT good at a lot of other things. The most egregious is substantive discussion of politics, religion or any emotional subject. Recently I wrote in this blog about my confusion when I "Liked" a post about someone's Mother passing away. Facebook makes that awkward social interaction instantly possible for millions.

If you are looking for facts and truthful information... you are looking in the wrong direction on Facebook. Unfortunately this is not general knowledge for the average FB user.  Political evangelist think they can sway the opposition with a paragraph.  Religious fanatics think they can convert a sinner with a quote from the Bible.  Facebook users seem to easily confuse debate with conversation or discussion with comment. A comment on a Facebook post is neither discussion, debate nor conversation.  It is simply a comment. Most people can't write a complete sentence so, intent, voice and innuendo are rarely present in the average comment. The odds of being misinterpreted in a Facebook post or comment are exponential.
Children are taught: count to ten before you say something that will make you sorry. I think we should count to more than ten before placing words on the Internet.  Why can't we dial down the tone of the Facebook discourse and celebrate our differences?  Let's not use the Internet to proselytize for exclusions but encourage inclusions. Let's celebrate our different views.

I am so glad that there are differences in the world.  Everybody can love a different color of rose, or have a different favorite song. We learn from our differences. And we can all agree that we may sometimes disagree. But if we continue to disagree on everything... that conversation stays the same and never grows. It becomes an argument:

Palin 

Is this the right room for an argument?

Cleese 

I told you once.

Palin 

No you didn't.

Cleese 

Yes, I did.  

Palin 

No you didn't

Cleese 

Yes, I most certainly....Oh I'm sorry.... is this the full half hour argument or just five minutes.

Palin 

Five minutes...

Cleese 

That's 20 dollars... Thank you...

Now, let's get one thing straight, I did tell you.

Palin 

No you didn't.

Cleese 

Yes I did

Palin 

No you didn't.

Cleese 

Yes.

Palin 

Wait a minute.. I'm paying for this session and this not an argument

Cleese 

Yes it is.

Palin 

No- it's not..An argument is not the 

automatic game of saying Yes/NO  Yes/No

Cleese 

Yes it is

Palin 

No it's not.  

Thank you, Cleese, Idle, Chapman, Guiliam, Jones  and Palin.

As you were,

Jay

May I Help You?

Here is something I dislike about retail sales people,  even the ones who are not walking around watching your every move. I like helpful sales people when I need help, but lots of times I am just making up my mind.  I have shopped, looked around and now I am weighing my options.  I am trying to get all the details sorted out so that this purchase will serve my needs and requirements.  This is an internal process and it is not aided by a person who works for the store.

Cherry Blossom's at Balboa Lake Park. It has
nothing to do with this Blog.  

The sales person is not really on my side. They want to make the sale.  I get it. If their product meets my requirements then I will buy it. If not... I don't want to hear their pitch.  They will obviously know more about the product than me.  They have been trained to counter all the objections that a novice like myself would come up with, but they are not me and they are not buying... they are selling.  So, leave me the F alone until I ask a question. Answer that question and then bugger off.

But just lurking around is not the most annoying thing.  After you have made up your mind, consulted your budget, looked at all the possibilities, decided on a product and begin the process of buying... that's when it happens.  It starts with "do you want to purchase the extended warranty?"  

Selling warranties is a profit margin for the store and the salesperson. If they can get another fifty to a hundred dollars from you that is a good thing for them. The problem is, to convince a customer they need the extended warranty it is necessary to explain all the problems your brand new purchase may encounter. Once you have arrived at a decision they question your judgement at the moment of purchase.

Let me at least have the thrill of a new purchase for the trip home.  Don't rain on my parade by telling me all the things that can go wrong with my new toy the minute I start to buy it.  Wait for the new to wear off before you sabotage my momentary happiness. 

What if before you could leave the hospital with your new child, the hospital staff tried the same technique.  "Who you like to buy some term life insurance on this new baby? Babies are fragile and very expensive to fix.  Did you know that babies develop learning disabilities  within several months of birth?  I just think it would be a good way to protect your investment." 

Perhaps this is why Internet shopping is increasing in popularity.  It is so much easier to click "no" to a computer prompt than it is to say "no" to a sales person who has a financial interest in selling something to you.

There was one exception to the "May I help you." dance.  At OHS as I was walking around the store looking for Sandi, the sales guy said, "Can I help you find something?" I said, "Yes, I'm looking for my wife."

He immediately got on his radio and said, "Code 20 on aisle 10" - I laughed very hard. That is the way to keep my business.  I always come to back to where I had a good time and laughed.
As you were,

Jay

Time Capsule

I don't remember the date.  Mid 80's most likely. I remember the show, the studio where it was shot, the audience seats we sat in and the very dialogue I was having with Dick Van Dyke the moment this picture with me and Bob was taken.  It hangs on my "important wall" at home. Seems like it was taken yesterday.

On the other hand this picture was taken yesterday.  Last Sunday at the PDS luncheon to be exact.  It was a similar feeling for me if not total recognition on the part of Mr. Van Dyke, but I didn't have Bob with me and it has been three decades between photos.

 

Caught in profile over Dick VanDyke's left shoulder is  Joe Tremaine. If you dance... yes that is the legendary Joe Tremaine.
As you were,
Jay 

The Rich get richer and the poor get ?

It was forty years ago.
Bumbling thieves broke into the Democratic headquarters in Washington, D.C. at a place called Watergate. The investigation unveiled a corrupt operation run from the highest office of government and resulted in the first ever resignation of a United States President.

The Roberts Supreme Court

During the investigation we learned that Richard Nixon kept a million dollars cash in a safe at the White house. It was money donated by an unknown  campaign contributor. He used the contributed cash for graft and payoff to destroy his opposition and hold on to his absolute power.
After this major abuse of elected power, the legislature passed bipartisan campaign contribution laws. They were written to keep this kind of campaign cash from ever being used again for corruption and cover up. The legislature passed laws limiting the amounts that corporations and individuals could contribute. These laws worked fine for 40 years during which time we elected Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, The Bushes, and Barack Obama.
But, in just the last four years all those campaign protection laws have been struck down, by the same  Supreme Court. First was the idea that corporations were not limited in the amount of money they could give, and just this Tuesday the Roberts court struck down the limits that an individual can contribute.  Politics is again on the market, for sale to the highest bidder. Start looking for a Nostradamus quatrain that predicts the United States presidential election in 2016 will be the most expensive in history .  Koch brothers are now free to spend as much money as want to influence elections, politicians and policy. In fact the Roberts court has sanctioned the Koch brothers corrupt behavior as constitutionally patriotic.
I have no idea how bad it will have to get before we address campaign finance issues again.  But you know it has to get worse than it was in the Nixon administration. With no regulations on the amount
of money a rich person can give a candidate soon 1% of the worlds wealth will control the members of Congress.
"Mr. Congressman the poor are starving and they have no bread to eat."
"Then let them eat cake."
As you were,
Jay

"SoMed" - Social Media for the REST of Us.

FaceBook, Twitter, InstaGram, YouTube, Text, Instant Text,  Me, Vine, Circle, LinkedIn, 

These social apps are all designed to do the same thing, let's just cut to the chase and get right to the point. In one way or another these forms of media are designed for grabbing attention, mainly self-aggrandizing attention. Look at me and what I am doing. People, no matter their age, are hard wired for attention. We live in a time when it is possible to catch the attention of the entire world instantly. This has never before happened in recorded history. And it has happened exponentially in the generation of those born in the 80's.  The idea of instant constant communication is difficult for an older generation not born with it to comprehend. There is a generation of latter day 60 somethings who still crave attention in the digital world, but all those "new smart phones are scary" and the apps take time to learn. Just a waste of time to some and,  time is not a thing 60 somethings like to waste. So here's the next big thing, social media for a generation that came of age in the 60's.  Like the Macintosh of 1984.. this is the app "for the rest of us."

(Small print alert. Make sure you read and agree to the terms of agreement by clicking on the button below)

Terms of Agreement - 

 Here is the fine print: You must agree to the fine print by clicking the accept button. In the absurd case that this is actually an idea that is being done, registered, or  retired  from some other inspiration or has the potential to actually generate interest and cash flow t he clicker agrees to the following.   If this IMNYourFace is your idea you won't sue me, and if it is my idea, you won't sue me. Okay.. quid pro quo.  If this idea results in massive amounts of money, I mean like Gates kind of cash then I will find everyone who thinks they have an interest in the development of this idea and give them what they deserve. Please click the button.  

Click here to Continue......

For those of us back from clicking the  "I totally agree" button: Yes I do wonder why. Why is a question that keeps leading us closer to the Truth.  It is easy to come up with the How if  you know Why.  And that is WHY this App could be exactly what you need.

IMNYourFace 

Social Media like Grandma used to have

is a constant slide show of the selfies and vintage pictures uploaded to a cloud-stream. Every picture the "digital-age challenged" grandparent or great uncle takes on their camera/phone is up loaded, edited for quality, set to music and beautifully streamed in an annotated slide show for other subscribers to see.

With IMNYourFace  anyone can subscribe to "Proud New Dad" or GrandBabe and see all the pictures they are taking of their kids and grand kids. You follow them and browse the pictures they are taking when you have the time.

When that new Granddad tries to show iPhone pictures of his granddaughter  around the bar you say,  "No thanks, I already saw them, IMNYourFace."

You have just saved yourself some time. Life immediately goes back to normal without time spent looking at baby pictures. I've heard it said before but I'll say it again - for older people time is what it's all about.

IMNYourFace the social media "For the REST of us."

Keep up with your friends without ever having to interact.

Eternal conflict

April Fools Day After...

The problem with a joke is you can't repeat it to the same audience. So I pretty much have to come up with a new April Fools blog gag. I've milked yesterday's for a couple years now.  Time to move on.

Got no real story today, just a bunch of random mind trash. I have already taken out the recycling.

Flash:

I read for a guest role on a television show yesterday. It was for the part of a Ventriloquist, I know...how odd they would consider me for that role.  The very first line in the script for a puppet named Micky is: "someone had a breakfast burrito before bedtime." I laughed out loud, an alliteration of four 'b' words in a row? They have no clue these twenty- something writers.

Flash:

Edited for confusion. 

Flash:

CNN interrupted the news last night with a breaking story.  The story? Rescuers are changing the search area for Flight MH 370. That is not news, nor is it a breaking story.  The breaking story is the airplanes and ships searching in the same area two days in a row.  

Flash:

Why is it that my lovely dancer wife never has a computer issue when I am in the same room? As she yells across the house, she assumes that I can yell back an answer to the problem. How would I not know how to fix a problem explained in a loud voice, "The thing won't do when I try."

Flash:

Local NBC news was promoting their newscast in a ten second ad between commercials.  Their exact words, "It's the Big One.... Details at 11."

Flash: 

I had a great time at the PDS luncheon last Sunday. Held in the same room at the Beverly Hilton where they do the Golden Globes, it is always a wonderful afternoon. Professional Dancers Society is a subset of the Actors Fund.  PDS raises money for members of the dance community who are down on their luck.  No one has more fun than dancers. Glad I married one.

As you were,

Jay

My Last Blog...

I have been writing this blog for eight years. I have tried to keep a daily schedule of posts, which at times has been difficult for many reasons.  Not the least of which is, I have to censor myself. The freedom of self expression is an unfiltered one for me, and not always appreciated by those on the receiving side. 

All in all I have enjoyed this almost decade of being a blog writer. I appreciate all of you who have commented over the years.  It was a validation of effort and proof of concept. I have become online friends with several regular readers of this blog.                                But flowers eventually fade and leaves fall as time marches on. 
Doctors at the New Beginnings Reality Center tell me that I must change the stress level of my life to truly complete treatment. That means no more writing.  SO.. 
 So in the voice of Paul Harvey..."this is Jay Johnson  .(waiting).......................................(still waiting).. (waiting)......... (Almost )..........Good Day.

  If you are looking for other blogs to read after we are gone, here is my suggestion list   

 The Home for Wooden Children

National Psychic Services

Exaggerator's World Wide 

Esoteric Visuals for the Blind

It's April 1st.  

Jay

Doc

Doc is the word written on the fronts of the black music stands on stage. It is the first time I have been to a performance at the Valley Performing Arts Center on the campus of CSUN. It is a lovely theatre and I hope they continue to have great shows*.

(Advertisement) "Jay Johnson: the Two and Only"- Tony Award Winning Performance Piece would be a great show for that theatre. Hey Valley PAC make that call, "nobody beats our prices and we deliver"....

*I'm at the Valley Performing Arts Center with a group of long time friends watching our long time favorite trumpet player perform. Our group blends easily with the rest of the audience. We are all here to see Doc Severinsen and his Big Band.

If you are the kind of person who likes the tweeted version of life, here it is:

OMG Doc HAGN Friday IMHO  he wz  amazing. 

Tweeters can stop here and ignore the rest of the blog.  Thank you for sparing us a 144  characters of your digital life time. 

(Disclaimer:)
Before I continue let me provide full disclosure about my feelings for Doc Severinsen.   As far as I am concerned, there are only two kinds of people in this world, those who love Doc Severinsen's music and people you should not associate with. 

The fact that Doc Severinsen will forever be the musical face of Johnny Carson's Tonight Show is enough to give him Sainthood in my opinion. However, Doc is an extremely talented musician and also happens to be the Father of my friend Nancy. I am nonprejudicial when it comes to talent, I would say Doc is great even if I didn't adore his daughter.

*So here we are at the Valley Performing Arts Center watching Doc's show.  Doc has assembled a talented group of musicians. They perform the same Tonight Show arrangements, with the same instrumentation of Doc's NBC Band. These musicians are amazing. This fact is even more astounding because most of the members of this band weren't even born when Doc was on the Tonight Show. 

At 86 years old Doc is still the hippest guy in the room.  He wears orange leather pants a dark shirt and a light green and yellow paisley sequined jacket for the first act. If you think it odd to see an octogenarian bejeweled in such a way, you don't know Doc Severinsen.  Doc's outfit would have prompted Johnny Carson, upon his entrance, to pantomime some gesture acknowledging the eccentric nature of Doc's wardrobe. Watching Doc play and conduct the band is very familiar to me.  It takes me back to my days as a kid when performing on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson was my dream...the dream had been to perform on the Ed Sullivan Show, but they cancelled it before I got to take a shot.  So the Tonight Show was, for me, the Holy quest of show business.

I rarely missed a Johnny Carson Tonight Show and Doc was always the lead trumpet player and conductor of the Tonight Show Band. The Tonight Show was a comfortable companion  for me as I traveled around working. I watched The Tonight Show in many time zones on many hotel televisions around this country. I noticed that out of the local commercial breaks from the Tonight Show they would cut to a final note from the band and the audience would break into thunderous applause.  The camera would catch Johnny and the guests looking at the band clapping. Johnny would say something like, "How about that Band?" and the audience would clap again.  I knew something was going on in the studio that did not involve the Alpo Commercial I had just seen.  

Years later it was Nancy who got us tickets to actually watch a taping of the Tonight Show and  I understood what was happening while the Television world watches commercials.  Doc's Band would play the greatest music with the finest arrangements done by the best musicians in town for us in the studio audience, the people at home watched boring commercials. Doc's band caused an excitement in the studio that can't be explained.  I am certain Doc's music was a major factor in making the Tonight Show audiences so responsive. 

So Friday night seeing Doc Severinsen live, was an extraordinary experience. Doc channelled some younger version of himself for two and a half hours. His chops are still there changed only by the brilliant gold patina of practice and experience; in some way the music and the moment took me back to a younger version of myself as well.
I am suddenly sitting on the couch next to Johnny Carson listening to Doc and the band play across a small NBC Burbank studio. It is a commercial break and the band is playing just for us in the studio. The set is on the same angle as the band stand.  Johnny Carson's couch is the perfect seat to watch Doc Severinsen and his band. You never forget a moment of doing your first Tonight Show. 

With recordings we will be able to enjoy and appreciate Doc Severinsen the artist/musician for a long time. To see Doc live and in person, is to see an evergreen artist who defines his work as timeless and beautiful.  Here's to Doc Severinsen, an original.

As you were,

Jay

Multi- Writing AADHAS

A few days ago I felt very comfortable writing two blogs within the same post.  Or is that two posts within the same blog.  No matter,  however you say it, it is distracted thinking. I have spent a life time training myself to focus on one thing at a time,  maybe it is just time to let the mind go. After all it seems to be all about multi-tasking theses days.  So here goes. The italics will be one post and regular lettering is another story all together.   Or it could be the other way around.  Or contray-wise.

In the early 80's there was a movie with Burt Reynolds. The title is unimportant, it is just a scene that I am thinking of from that film. It is a comedy.  Reynolds character falls and hurts himself in a department store.  A sales clerk and several shoppers gather around him to help.  The clerk says, "This man needs a tranquillizer.  Does anyone have a Valium?" Every person in the area grabs for their purse or pocket to hand the clerk a Valium.  It was the upscale drug of the time and the movie played on that fact. I am amazed that the news is still so myopic and focused on the disappearance of MH370, even after all the speculation, theories and other filler stories, they still have not recovered anything that would confirm the flight truly crashed in the Indian Ocean. I was suddenlyYou see the joke here is that every one was holding drugs but no one was aware of it until there was an emergency and strangers were asked to help. It is a timing joke that takes several levels of linguistic sophistication to understand.  It is not a prat fall which is just an action that evokes a knee jerk reaction of laughter, it is laughter that requires more than what is given. It seems as though any quack theory no matter how far fetched, was taken as fact and all sides of the speculative scenario reported on until it reached a preposterous conclusion or more information inspiring more quack theories. It seems we have explored the gambit of possibilities from alien abduction to lithium battery fires and yet we have not recovered a single item from the plane.  Like in the disappearance of flight MH370 when the world said, "Does anyone have a spy satellite that could take a look at the ocean to see if we have a crashed airplane?"  At first it was just the countries we knew had satellites, like USA and China, even Russia. In fact China was the first one to publish a "debris" photo from space, only to retract it after a few days of searching in the photographed area.  It seems like every time a picture surfaces from some satellite they immediately make that the search area.  Another picture and the recovery effort switches to that place.  And now everyone has a spy satellite. France spotted some white specs on the ocean... send the planes... Commercial satellites see some floating debris and they send the planes.  Australia has a satellite, they see something... send the planes. Thailand even reported it saw some debris on its satellites photos.  Thailand has spy satellites?  Who knew Thailand had satellites? And of course every time they change the "search area" that is "breaking news".  I think if I knew some one on that plane I would destroy all mass media platforms and rely on more standard forms of communication. In the coverage of Flight MH370, like in the Burt Reynolds movie, when some one says, "Does any one have a satellite that could take a look?" every country said, "Yeah we are spying on the world."  Funny because, oops they just admitted to spying on us. I am never sure my metaphors are completely clear to anyone but me.  But it seems clear that, like in the Burt Reynolds movie, in a moment of trying to help, even little countries like Thailand admit they have satellites that can focus any place on Earth.  It also seems like a global game of CLUE. With every new satellite picture the search area moves, and some Prime Minister says, "I think it was Col Mustard, a fire in the cargo hold and it crashed in the Mediterranean." Seems to me we need to wait until there is some really credible evidence before we move the fleet to another area.  Maybe this is how we win the war on terrorism. We make up a crisis,  when everyone gathers around to help, some one says, "Does anyone harbor a terrorist organization? We need to borrow it." When the countries reach in their pockets to offer up a jihadist we go after them. Perhaps in the mean time we will just wait until we have solid information and speculate from there.  I am struck by the  cruel roller coaster ride this has been for the families of the missing passengers. The news media seems to take any rumor or innuendo as a fact worth of charts, pundits and prime time coverage. Hopes are raised and the search area changed for each new discovery. What an exhausting existence for those family members. 

As you were,

Oh would you look at that,

Jay

Historic Moments in Show Business

Historic Moments in Show Business for the Attention Span challenged.
or
The Secrets of Life and Ventriloquism intexted.

*A blog for people who multi-task, have Attention Defect Disorder, surf and watch more than one television channel at a time; people who forget what they are saying and repeat themselves, because they forgot what they were saying and people who need more focus, not to repeat themselves. 

Historic Moments in Show Business.  Is that an oxymoron? Are there historic moments in show business like there are in science? Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, is there an entertainment equivalent?  Did Jack Benny invent the slow take? Who wrote the first joke. What's the name of the juggler who spun the first plate on a stick?  

Who?  

The juggler that first put plate spinning in his act? 

Who?

The first plate spinner?

Who. Who's the guy that invented plate spinning. (Fill in the rest  of the routine at your leisure)

.....

The point is, moments of show business history are difficult to pinpoint because there is no patent date on inspiration. Intellectual ideas can lead to intellectual properties which can be dated and copy protected, but when was the first spark for that idea?    

That moment of instantaneous artistic inspiration  is compelling to think about.  I don't know how often it happens  but I have been witness to that flash point in the career of two very successful and completely different people.

In the event that someone is reading my blog only to learn ventriloquism. Skip to the (red lettered sections and complete those lessons ) 

(Writer's note) To continue this story I have to drop three names. The word "drop" is used to designate celebrity status. I could have changed their names, but the very point of the story is: they became successfully known.  I did not get permission from any of them to use their stories in my blog.  They may disavow any knowledge of having known me, worked with me or deny this moment ever happened. 

It was in an Atlanta, Georgia Comedy Club called "A- Comic Cafe".  

(repeat the phrase "Comedy Club called "A- Comic Cafe" 20 times, it will strengthen your gutturals. But don't strain your throat. Don't repeat the exercise more than 20 times in 24 hours)  
I was the headliner for the week and the middle act was a local guy who had just gone into comedy full time.  He was editing jokes hand written on several pages of lined notebook paper in the green room.  The opening comic was on stage for 15 minutes. It was just the two of us waiting our turn to go on stage. The local comic turns to me and with a heavy Georgia accent says, "Do you think this is funny?" 

He then rattled off several very funny jokes that began, 'You Might be a Redneck, if..." It was the first week Jeff Foxworthy performed his now trademark material. I can't take all of the credit for Jeff's incredible career, but... at that flash point of his art form, when he asked me if I "thought it was funny"? I said. Yes.

In an entirely different world many years before performing in those Comedy Clubs I worked the summer between college at the Desert Fiesta Theatre in Carlsbad, New Mexico.  It was a "theme park show" musical extravaganza for the tourists heading to visit Carlsbad Caverns. The show featured a full orchestra and a cast of 30 college age performers in an original variety show conceived by producer/director Charles R. Meeker, Jr.  

Desert Fiesta Dressing Room -  July 1970

The Desert Fiesta theatre seated 1200 people  and for opening night we had 1210 in the audience. It was a spectacular opening and after party. There was Champagne in collectors glassware.
The next day there were 17 people total in the audience for a matinee. To make it seem even more empty the audience was not sitting together.  Only six people were in most expensive orchestra seats,  the rest were scattered around the back sections. That performance had more people back stage than in the audience.  We never did more than half capacity for the entire rest of the summer. The cast and crew became a very close fraternity/sorority, It was a great "summer away from college - job" for a bunch of really talented people from all over the country. I remember it well. 

The theatre manager's name was Mike Brown. 

(Phonetically the words "Mike Brown" are incredibly difficult to say with no lips. Don't try it. Change the name to something you can say and move on, get past it go forward with your life.) 

Mike was married to a beautiful Texas lady named Sandra, whom I think was a Six Flags alumni as well.

It was the end of the summer and most of us were going back to college.  Mike and Sandra had graduated and were moving back to Texas to seek their fame and fortune. I asked them what they planned to do.  

Mike said he wanted to be a television Anchorman. Years later I was on Mike Browns's television show  on WFAA the Dallas ABC affiliate.  It was a network publicity tour for SOAP. There are moments, like going back to your home town promoting your network television show, that you never forget. Mike Brown and I seemed to be doing exactly what we had both dreamed of doing. 

Mike's wife wanted to be a writer. Sandra knew she could write those Harlequin Romance Novels which were extremely popular at the time.  She began to write.  First under some pen names and then under her own name.  Sandra Brown. Yes, that Sandra Brown  the famous writer. To pass time I counted the number of Sandra Brown Novels on the New York Best Sellers shelf at Airport bookstore by the time I could remember one of her titles there were three more books to replace it at the top.  Soon it was hard to find the title below her name. Didn't matter what the title was... is was a Sandra Brown novel... it's all you needed to know.

There you have it,  two Historic Moments in show business,
(As a cool down gently say "Historic Moments in Show Business" in an FM radio tone of voice. Feel free to record yourself saying it several different ways. If you have learned the echo effect this would be a good time to practice it.)

The creative moment when someone had an idea to do
(Your echo should have stopped by now. Practice "Zentriloquism" completely silent ventriloquism. The Postman gave Corky the test of silence to prove his sanity. How long can you exists in silence?)
when someone has an idea to do something in their career and life and accomplish it. It happens all the time and to lots of people willing to do what it takes to see their ideas come into bloom.  

 But... Oops.... Time's up.  I only rented this soap box for an hour.  Oh yeah and:
Ventriloquists - This first session is free.
As you were,
 Jay

Teaching Hate?

Fred Phelps died yesterday. As you may know he was the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. Fred and his church lead protests at military funerals with signs that said, "God Hates America" and "God Hates Fags". His belief:  God killed American soldiers because of America's tolerance toward homosexuals.  Although I am not sure I can make that logical connection to Deity, Mr. Phelps could, and became the poster boy for hate.

I did not particularly research him while he was alive and only read the stories of his passing because I was tired of the MH370 disappearance speculations that dominate the news right now.  One thing stood out to me about the Phelp's philosophy. It is a quote he gave to an interviewer, "You can't teach the Bible without teaching HATE." (emphasis by this writer).

Really? That is not the take away I get from the Bible. Seems to me the Bible is a document that teaches Love. I thought we stopped believing in a God that could hate when we gave up worshiping Zeus. 

Bill Maher has offended evangelistic Christians, again recently on his television show,  by going on a rant about the new Russel Crowe Movie "Noah"   He calls the Biblical God a mass murderer for sending the flood.  Obviously Fred Phelps felt the same way since he believed  God was mass murdering American soldiers. Phelps and Maher in agreement? Apparently so.

Bill Maher, however, went on to say that it wasn't so much a statement about God but a statement on the people who took the Bible literally.

A quick Google search will tell you that the word "hate" is used 76 times in the Old Testament and 18 times in the New Testament of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible.  In the King James Version 71 times in the OT and 16 times in the NT.  

The word "love" is used 317 times in the OT and 221 times in the NT of the RSV.  The King James uses love 131 times in the OT and 179 in the NT.  

I am not sure why the numbers vary so much between translations, but they do. It would seem since translations don't agree on the words used; a literal interpretation of the Bible is almost impossible.  But even if you could come up with an absolute from the Biblical text, one would have to conclude that it is a document of love rather than hate since mathematically the word "Love" is used 176% more times than the word "hate." 

There is probably a passage in the Bible that Phelps did take literally, Mathew 5:10
"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

It would seem that Phelps wanted to be persecuted and hated to get a deed to the kingdom of heaven. Of course it was  Phelps own interpretation of "righteousness" that he spewed and he was persecuted because he was a persecutor. But in his twisted theological interpretation that probably made sense.

The British Press called the Phelps family "The most hated family in America."  When asked about that Fred Phelps said, "I wish they would have called us the most hated family in the World." 

So... Fred is dead.  Unfortunately hate and intolerance are not. Let's hope that using God's name to exploit hate and intolerance has lost at least one evangelist.

As you were,

Jay 

Shamrock Shaker...

The small earth quake we had on Monday jolted more than just the ground around Encino, it brought back some of my memories of the Northridge Earthquake of 1994. Mathematically I know that is 20 years ago, but I was never very good a math so it doesn't seem that long.

There are similarities.  Both happened on a Monday, holidays of sort.  Jan 17, 1994 was Martin Luther King Day and Monday was St. Patricks Day, and both happened in the darkness of early morning.  The Northridge was a 6.7 and  the Shamrock Shaker ( the media dubbed name)  was a 4.4. That means the Northridge was about 7 or 8 times stronger than the Shamrock Shaker.  The Northridge lasted 27 seconds and the Shamrock lasted about 4 seconds. Of course 27 is a little more than 6 times longer. So you get the picture.
Most every dish in our house was broken in 1994. The refridgerator fell over and the water heater lost its footing and broke through the closet where it was usually unseen.   The chimney of our Sherman Oaks home was one of the few in the area that did not fall.  Needless to say it was a huge mess to clean up.
I remember a story from the time.  Since that Monday in 1994 was a holiday a friend went out and partied very hard. In fact he was so well lubricated he slept through the actual quake. Very hung over he finally woke up to find everything in his apartment turned over and broken, and his dog cowering in the corner. He assumed the destruction was the dogs doing and punished him.
The other story involves a lady who did wake up in the shaking. Her elderly father was staying with her at the time. Of course the Northridge happened at 4:30 in the morning and all the electricity went out.  Exiting in the dark the lady bumped into a very disoriented man in the living room. She grabbed him by the arm and practically pushed him outside. She was thinking how muscular his arms were for a man his age. That is when she noticed her father slowly walking from the other side of the house where he had already exited.  She turned to the man she had escorted out.  He immediately ran away in the dark.  It was a thief who had been robbing the house at the moment the quake hit.
Ten down and over to you Dorothy Kilgallian. (Unless you are my age or older that Kilgallian reference will mean nothing to you.. )
As you were,
Jay