What would you say?

I got a FaceBook message yesterday.  A screen capture of that message is published below.  I blurred the identifying information like they do in those true crime television shows, you know, to protect the innocent and all. Other than that this is the actual message.  Okay, and the profile picture of the devil was my idea...only trying to protect the innocent.
Here it is just as I got it....   How would you answer?

"How would you answer" is a rhetorical question.  While I would never actually answer a FaceBook message in this manner, my knee jerk response is:


"You certainly may have a moment of my time.  That was it.  I hope it was great for you too. "

Never give a person who thinks he's funny an opening line.

As you were,
On Happy Friday,
Jay

HD Mentia

I am not exactly sure what I said at the curtain call Saturday night when I introduced Jimmy Nelson at Historic Thalian Hall. There was nothing written. I was prepared to do it with the directors blessing of camera coverage.  I decided I would speak from my heart in that moment. That is what my show is about so it seemed natural. To thank Jimmy Nelson for being the inspiration to thousands like me who have heard the call of an inner voice should come easily from my heart.

However, I discounted the sheer power and emotion this moment would have.  To realize as you talk about the history of ventriloquism, one of the greatest ventriloquists of the 20th century, the only living legend of that era, currently sits in the audience, is to realize a moment of speechlessness.  Unfortunately in moments like this my mouth begins to speak before my consciousness gives it permission; consciousness then forgets the entire verbal discourse so it can't be blamed for the unauthorized dialogue.

The same dumbstruck amnesia has erased what I said about Murphy, Sandi, John Ivy, Bryan and I remember nothing about mis-pronouncing Marge's last name. 

The shout outs from stage could have gone on for much longer.  Sitting close enough for me to see their smiles was Annie Roberts and Lisa Sweasy. How great to have the historians and keepers of ventriloquist history come to participate in this moment. Because of my friendship and affections for these ladies, I forget the impact of having W. S. Berger and Vent Haven Museum represented at this filming.  In later moments of reflection I realize how blessed I am with friends like Annie and Lisa.  It is only later that I have the words because, the moment is all to overwhelming.

This memory erase is caused by the psychological stress of multiple HD cameras imprinting digital images from the stage. I do not think this mental condition has been identified before so I claim the discovery in the name of science.  I name this condition of digitally induced amnesia "HD Mentia."

To everyone working at presenting the show or working at enjoying it... to Lori, Bob, and David, peers in the artform... and especially to Betty and Jimmy ... Thank you....you all made it happen. 

Marge and Bryan you led the charge and gave quarter to the troupes. You believed, but more than that you acted upon that belief with your talents.  

John you continually amaze me with the wide brush your artistry covers.  You are a modern theatrical Renaissance man.  

Murphy you are Captain of the Heart for "the two and only", and channel energies to the performance that are of "more than ordinary significance".   

Sandi after four decades I have run out of words to express my love for you. Beyond my deficiency of vocabulary, you know, in the silence, that you are my muse, my lover, my friend and the reason I do what I do.

As you were,

Jay

Post Mortem or Mortem Post?

I have returned home from Wilmington. I thought I would have time to post some blogs while in the moment of filming "The Two and Only" but that was not to be.  

Starting on Wednesday of last week it was like getting ready for the launch of a NASA rocket.  Each step had to be done in sequence before we could take off on Saturday for the actual filming. Because they had an event at the theatre on Wednesday night we could not load in the set until about 10:00pm.  Scenic Asylum pulled an all night-er to get it up so we could focus lights on Thursday. The set looked beautiful. Terry and Robert who own Scenic Asylum are artists of the highest order. 

Bryan ran a stop action camera looking at the stage during the construction and setting lights.  It looks like a bee hive of activity at that speed. My heart went out to John Ivy who had to call circuit numbers and focus the plot while hammers boomed and the smell of paint made everyone light headed. 

We shot a rehearsal with a small crowd on Friday and used the time to have cameras on stage to film the "reverse" angles of the show.  Then Saturday we went for the gold with two performances and for the most part got what we wanted.  Sunday we spent five hours doing some pick up shots for insurance.  Just to make sure that we got the crosses and some of the movements clean. 

For me, no matter how well the shows go there is always something in the nuance of the performance I would have corrected the next night if we had the time.  At the matinee John said he missed a lighting cue because he was watching one of the monitors and got caught up in the beauty.  No one knew but me and we got it on the next performance. By the time we wrapped on Sunday I was so exhausted I felt like a deflated moon bounce. I was a complete zombie on the flight home the next morning at 6:00am. Bryan and I have decided that we will not even look at the dailies until October.  It will help to get some perspective on the project before we jump into it again. 

The theatre is definitely haunted.  As I was packing up in the empty theatre on Saturday night I heard someone walking around in the upper balcony. They refer to that part of the theatre as the "slave benches".  It is a section of church like pews with a separate entrance from the rest of the theatre. It was used at a time when the theatre was segregated.  I was always drawn to that section of the theatre because it seemed to be the most honest and looked most like the old theatre that it is. But there was definitely someone or something up there that night.  I was so sure it was a camera man retrieving cables that I called out several times.  There was never an answer back.

As long as we are talking "other worldly" events there was one that was special.  I took over the dressing room mid week and made it as comfortable as I could. Just before the evening show on Saturday the feather of a crow or raven appeared on one of my cases.  I am sure that is wasn't there before that moment.  It is almost the one year anniversary of the death of my Father. He died just before I did this show in Rochester on a Saturday evening.  That day I had an experience with a raven or crow that I knew was some sort of symbol for my Dad.  The raven feather in my dressing room immediately reminded me of that moment.

I usually carry small items in my pocket for good luck while I am on stage.  To keep from loading my pockets too much I have a small red cloth bag that travels with me in the makeup case, and I keep the "used Talisman's" there.  

Most of the time it is a coin that means something to me.  For these shows it was a gold stuck coin of my face that Clinton Detweiler did as a part of his vent series of coins.  Since I felt like the feather was a talisman from my Dad I put it in my pocket before I went on stage. I wanted him to be with me for this important event, as he was always so supportive of my show and my career.

I was comforted when I would gently touch the feather when reaching into my pocket on stage. It was a physical reminder of my Dad.  I remember touching the feather just before I delivered the final dramatic Arthur Sieving story.  

At the end of the show I was changing clothes and reached into my pocket to get the feather. My plan was to put it in the red bag with the rest of my memorable icons. The feather was gone. I checked the floor around me, went back on stage to see if it had dropped out of my pocket. It was no where to be found.  I searched and searched and retraced the path I took to and from stage to try and find it.  It vanished as mysteriously as it appeared. It was my Dad.  He was there when I needed him but reminded me that I don't have to have physical reminders that he is always around now.  I broke down and cried with a feeling of joy and connection with Dad.

With so much goodness looking over this show  the music issues will "fall in perfect order" I have no doubt. 

As you were,

Jay 

September 11

As I am watching the coverage on 9/11. It is too much. I have to stop because I find myself living it all over again. I was such a minor player in the events, I can't imagine the feeling of those who lost loved ones eleven years later.  I have already written my feeling on this blog. Not Forgotten
I am glad that I have the show details to keep me occupied.
Remembering,
Jay

Cape Fear

It's like a being on a land locked cruise. I am here for the week and really only doing two shows at the end of my stay. There are more things to do in Wilmington than on a ship, even the megaships of Royal Caribbean. My schedule is easy an interview or two, and checking up on the progress of the production. Starting tonight the staff and crew begin to arrive. John Ivy arrives from New York in a few hours. Tomorrow Murphy Cross will arrive. Wednesday night they will start loading in the set. Lights are being hung today. Then Thursday we will focus and run cameras, and start the real count down. We are shooting some backups on Friday evening with a skeleton audience and then it is balls out to record the two performances on Saturday. Sunday we will shoot some inserts and pickups that can't be done without blocking the audience view with cameras.

The weather could not be better, very comfortable temperatures and no humidity. There are not even any hurricanes developing at sea so it should stay this way. If this was typical Wilmington weather, I think i could live here relatively easily. Unfortunately it would be alone because I don't see Sandi moving away from LA.

The big news when I arrived is Linda Laven. She has been living here for a decade or so and has become a fixture in the Wilmington theatre community with her own theatre company. The news was about her emanate departure from the area to move back to New York. The information was pitched with sadness and just a little bit of resentment. After proclaiming Wilmington to be the renaissance city of theatrical revival when she arrived, she is now abandoning ship to go back to the more traditional roots of theatre. The thespian south was supposed to rise again with her in command and now she is defecting to a Yankee stronghold. I personally don't think her exit will impact the local theatre much but I am certainly not a local and as my son is fond of saying, "I am talking out my ass". It is just the way it is being covered as a local story here. It is being reported as a very sad event. My director Bryan ran into LInda today at lunch meeting with our cinematographer Adam, who is a local. Bryan invited Linda to our show on Saturday. I am not sure that event will make it on her social calendar but I would be happy to entertain her along with the rest of my audience.

Linda or not, my show will go on and I am sure so will the creative community of Wilmington.

As you were,

Jay

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T- Minus and Counting

It has begun. I am here in Wilmington. By now for me the city is a familiar shirt that is comfortable to wear. It is extremely rare that I feel this way about a town where I am performing. It seemed a very strange choice when we started planning a year ago, but now it seems exactly right for all the right reasons.

As Bryan Simon, the director has said many times, this is not my first rodeo, nor is it my first time on a bucking bronco. I suppose with every production there are brick walls that must be scaled. My experience in the past has been with networks and executives. However, with that element gone in this production the gap has been filled with other challenges. There was a minor hiccup when the New York designers union wanted twice as much money as the camera budget to use the original set and lighting design. I had budgeted payment for the designers who had agreed to the fee, but the unions wanted more. After a few phone calls and emails the union dropped its demands and actually said I didn't owe them anything.

Now we are battling the music publishers. With permission we used several songs in the Broadway production which have become part of the fabric of the show. For some reason one of the publishers does not want to give us permission to use the song in the DVD. It is odd because permission to use it comes with a royalty that we are willing to pay. Still they do not want us to use the song. It is baffling to everyone.

I have made an appeal and hope they will change their mind. However it has brought up all sorts of interesting information to consider. One idea is the fair use doctrine that is sanctioned under the copy right law, and supported by a 1994 Supreme Court case. It involves the legal definition of a parody, a satire and a joke. In music fair use is more of a gray area than it would be in using a video or audio clip. I have the feeling this will be another tempest in a teapot when we are able to state the case. Confidence is high and I am trying not to let that negotiation affect the filming. It must not distract from the job at hand which is to do the best show we can on Saturday.

I know a lot of you who read this blog will be at the show on Saturday. I am looking forward to seeing you.

Onward and up ward.

As you were,

Jay

 

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Labor Day

Sandi and I were just remembering, for most of our married life we have used the Jerry Lewis Telethon as a temporal mile marker. It seems that most of our Labor Days together were spent packing or unpacking boxes while we watched the MDA Telethon. Not this year. In fact the telethon is even hard to find these days. We are settling in to watch the US Open Tennis tournament.

The season for a theme park used to be Memorial Day to Labor Day, which would correspond to an end of our contract and a move to another place. I am glad not to be moving out or in today, but I do miss the excitement which this day used to be associated but very glad that our roots are deeper than back then.

Last night I performed at my favorite place, Brookledge Theatre. It is a private theatre with invited guest list. My youngest son wanted to come and bring a date. I was very excited that he wanted to come and see the show. However, my dyslexia reared its ugly head and I told him the address was 292 instead of 929. Sandi is the one that actually caught the mistake. Obviously, he did not make it to the show, but did end up wondering around the wrong neighborhood in Venice California. Later he said, "I know never to ask you addresses or directions. Mom is the only one that can really get me where I need to go." I am afraid that the boys have grown up with my lack of ability to know left from right and the irritation of transposing numbers. I am able to hide my disability with a good deal of coping and experience but when it does decide to take center stage it is usually a situation like this one.

All the build up for the filming of "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only." is coming to a close. Two more weeks before the show. One of the things you learn from performing is to trade your terror for excitement. There is no difference when you measure it physically, the heart races and the BP goes up with nerves for fear or excitement. A performer learns to interpret the physical signals as excitement and happiness rather than crippling fear or you never overcome stage fright. The problem comes when you know that the emotion can be seen either way. There are so many distractions with this production between the work of actually pulling it together and filming the show it is easy to forget that the pit in my stomach is not just hunger or fright but is excitement. (Although it is about as easy to think of it as hunger since I have been on a diet of late... I call it the HD diet, knowing that we are recording in High Definition.)

So, I will try to cope with my Dyslexia, interpret my emotions, do my best to deliver a good performance and go for the record. I can't believe that summer is coming to an end.

As you were,

Jay

 

 

 

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Technical Overload

Between Bob's Vlogs, the FaceBook page, twitter, www. monkeyjoke.com,  www.thetwoandonly.com and actual duties for the up coming filming I'm in overload.  The blog is getting the short shrift of this involvement.

That is a shame as far as I am concerned.  The blog is where I get to think about more than just this performance. If I am not blogging about the show then there is a tug from the capitalist inside of me that says I need to spend the energy in promotion. The problem with all of this social media and Internet traffic is the microscopic attention span of the participants.  It seems if you don't post something most every day you get lost in the avalanche.  And although I think that pictures of cats doing funny things is entertaining, there are just so many that I can absorb in a day.  

The traditional ways of promoting a show or event have changed so radically in the last few years all solid templates are out of date.  It used to be if you could afford a big ad in the local news it was good as gold for attendance.  With print media struggling it is not as good of an investment as it once was.  

All this to say that I miss being able to write about anything that I want to in this blog. It just gets pushed to the back of the "to do list".  

So if there are any readers still checking this blog, it will soon return to normal.  There are only a few weeks before the shoot. 

Thanks for hanging in there, if  you are, keep checking the Jjtwoandonly facebook page for more up to the minute information.  It may be that I have to keep my ramblings to 140 characters and tweet rather than blog.  I'm not sure that I could ever be that succinct and economical with my words but if that becomes the attention span of the general public, I guess that is progress.

More later from these same venues of communication.

As you were,

Jay

Older Voice...

Vaudevillians became so good at their act because... they were always doing the same act.  They perfected their act, their skill and their talents by repeating the act and changing audiences. It is the subject of a separate blog but the best piece of advice I ever got was from Ted Knight.  Before he played Ted Baxter on the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" he was a performing ventriloquist.  At age 13 or 14, I met him while he was doing his act at a trade show in Lubbock, Texas.  He said, "Perform for as many audiences as often you can."
Vaudeville was perfect for that training. You did multiple shows all over the country for different audiences all the time. Your act became a well timed piece of theatre with every nuance polished to perfection. You perfected the act by changing the audience. I found theme parks. It was perfect for me and what I wanted to do.  I my show  "Jay Johnson:The Two and Only"  I recall the time I did 918 shows one summer at Six Flags over Georgia.
But that was Vaudeville history. And probably theme park history now.  Today the concept is to perfect the audience by continually changing the act.
Recently I posted a routine with SQUEAKY and me from an early HBO special. Perhaps 10 years later I performed a version of that routine with Bob.   Ruth Buzzi jumps into the middle. The sound is not very good but here is another accidental find.

It is interesting to me to watch the routines brought together by the miracle of old tape collectors and YouTube. Sort of a weird time machine where I am more observer than participant.  Bob never has done the "Great Figaro Challenge" but it may be time to find an orchestra that will let him try.
As you were,
Jay

A Young Voice....

In the early days of SOAP HBO was just a cable station in New York but they were already trying to do original programing.  They produced a variety show called, "The Vent Event" with all the ventriloquist of the day.  Shari Lewis, Edgar Bergen, Jimmy Nelson and myself being the fresh face in the vent world at the time.

It was my second time to be around Edgar Bergen who was one of my idols.  He watched this routine and later came up to me and said something that I will never forget.  Mr. Bergen said to me, "That was very, very good. You have such great control. And your voice is... well... your voice is... Well damnit it's a YOUNG VOICE."  

Funny how those words come back when I accidentally found this clip on YouTube.  I watched this routine like I had never seen it before, much like Edgar Bergen might have experienced seeing it. This turned out to be the last  television show Mr. Bergen did before he passed away.   It has been a long time since I did "The great Figaro Challenge."  I never felt closer to Mr. Bergen than right now in my life.  It is an odd roll being one of the elder statesmen of ventriloquism. As I watched this routine I thought,  "that's a young voice." 

As you were,

Jay

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Viral Greatness...

There is a new Schwabs Drug store in the world of show business.  If that reference is vague it is easy to explain.  Schwabs Drug Store used to be a landmark establishment on the corner of Sunset and Crescent Heights Bld in Hollywood. Long gone now but legend has it that Lana Turner was discovered while she was sitting at the lunch counter in Schwabs Drug Store. It is the fabric of the stereo-typical Hollywood dream, which goes something like this: You are sitting having lunch when a cigar smoking power broker walks in,  sees you at the lunch counter and says, "Come with me I'm going to make you a star." The rest is Academy Awards history.

I don't know how may times that actually happened or how many times it was used as a pick-up line. And there is no way to know if it really happened or if it was not just some publicity agent's fertile imagination. Either way the rumor made Schwabs lunch counter the place to be in the early days of Hollywood.  

Later the idea of instant fame and discovery became associated with the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson.  This was the belief that you only had to do one great shot on the Tonight Show. If you were called over to the couch by Johnny on your first appearance, the next day you could be in development for a sitcom. Of course getting a shot on the Tonight Show was not easy.  It was certainly harder than having lunch at the right Drug Store Counter, but the actual odds of getting that "one big break" were just as staggering.  I often thought that instead of a couch on the Tonight Show set they should have had a lunch counter. But I am old fashion in a lot of ways.

Now there is a new route to stardom.  It is a modern day path to that ultimate Hollywood dream of being discovered.  The part of Schwabs Drugstore is now played by YouTube and the cigar smoking agent has been replaced by the number of hits a video receives.  Being called over to Johnny's couch is now referred to as "going viral".

Viral greatness is what I call it.  Someone uploads their video to Youtube. It is seen by people who email it to other people that recommend it to friends who like it on FaceBook.  The Internet being a mathematical creature counts the the number of these hits and records it for all to see. It is the ethernet equivalent of drawing a large crowd.

Since this is Capitalistic America, where there is a large crowd gathering, "vendors" appear ready to sell their wares to the gathering masses. It was ever so. In the days of public hangings the local storekeepers would flock to the gallows to sell to their goods and services to the throngs.  I'm sure these local storekeepers, who sold more of their inventory to the crowds, referred to that as a "good day". Maybe for the merchants, but what about the Hangee? 

Fame, money, stardom and popularity are all mixed together in one Show Biz dream.  In reality they are four separate paths that are not bundled together.  It is easy to separate them when you think about it. One can be famous without being popular. One can be rich and not have stardom. One can be popular but poor and unknown.  Do you want to be famous, rich, popular or a media star?  Well, pick one, you have a better shot at attaining one of those dreams if you are willing to sacrifice everything else for it. Sacrificing everything means giving up the desire for the other three to gain the one, if that is what it takes. It is a crap shoot and the odds double exponentially with every adjective you add to the dream. 

I know this sounds like a guy who would start this discussion with, "Why back in my day."  And there could be some of that influence on my attitude this morning.  It is a little late for me to be "discovered". Some might even say that I have been to the show and had my turn.  However, I am stuck in the Johnny Carson era of seeking fame.  I like the idea of working really hard to get the best act you can so it is good enough to be on the Tonight Show with the hopes that the hard work will pay off. I might be invited to the couch where I am auctioned off to the power brokers. It is hard for me to think of YouTubing myself riding a unicycle down a water slide with the hopes that either my incredible skill or humiliating fall will go viral. If it gets enough attention I can repeat the stunt on Jimmy Kimmel.  It is not the path to popularity/fame/riches/stardom I am familiar with.  

Wait... I know I will video myself sitting at the counter of Schwabs drug store waiting to be discovered.  I better shine up the unicycle and find a really tall water slide.  Jimmy might invite me over to the couch if I can still walk after the stunt.

As you were,

Jay

Vendor selling to the crowd....

Judge Judy

I worked for Stu Billett and Ralph Edwards when they produced "The People's Court".  They were also producing "So You Think You Got Troubles." It was my show.  It didn't take off like "Peoples Court" but....That is a different much longer blog than time for today.  

"The Peoples Court" was a ground breaker, spawning so many other court shows it is hard to remember when television programing wasn't crammed with knock-offs. 

"People's Court" with Judge Wopner maintained an air of civil obedience closer to an actual court room than most  court shows try to recreate today.  The genera of court show has been "Springerized" into a public spanking and character lynching. 

It is the modern day equal of stocks and pillories in the public square. The public gathers round to mock the misbehavers and occasionally toss a vegetable at them. Only now the humiliation is witnessed by millions. 

Television voyeurs observe what it is like to be publicly humiliated and harshly judged by authority figures, while not suffering from the experience.  In fact it may give the viewer a rush, feeling the satisfaction of, at least, not being the person judged.  

Currently my favorite show to watch with my jaw hanging open, is Judge Judy.  Judge Judy has become less of a judge while becoming more judgmental, which sounds like an oxymoron.  She is no longer a Judge applying law to a dispute but your worst school teacher scolding you in front of the class.  Obviously the meaner Judge Judy is the better it works. The tipping point is when the cases no longer matter we just want to see the teacher go off on somebody, meaning somebody else. Why not just skip the court part of the show and go right to Judge Judy scolding someone. Just herd people on, Judy tells them how wasted their lives have been, then you bring on the next ones to be scolded. That's your show. 

I suggest that the shark jumping tipping point has already taken place. Judge Judy is now doing just that.  As the Internet is proof of all things here is the very moment it happened:

Change the title.  Just call it "Judy Judges"; it's now a show about  Judy condemning and looking down on people in public. Why confuse it with the trappings of a court show?  Why pretend that the show has anything left of the Wopner class other than ripping off the set?  Why watch people behaving their worst, which most often is Judy herself? Why am I drawn to watch it like a bug to the zapper?  I would not say it is like a fly being drawn to shit, because a fly is benefited by the shit. I think the harm done by this attraction is more like the zapper. This magnification of bad behavior has to be detrimental. Why did I write a blog talking about it? If you have the answers let me know.

That is all,

As you were,

Jay

Marvin Hamlish

Back when daytime television was filled with talk shows like the Mike Douglas show, I was a semi-regular on their rosters.  I think I did around 30 spots on the Douglas show alone.

Before it was a network syndication phenom,  The Mike Douglas show filmed in Philadelphia.  It was a very small studio in the middle of downtown and had a local show feel to it.  The audience was no more than 50 people. When they moved the show to Hollywood, the feeling changed at the Television City Studios.

Back in the Philadelphia days I did the show with another guest, Marvin Hamlish. He was red hot after winning a Tony for "A Chorus Line" but very much down to earth and funny.  The Douglas staff decided that we should do something together as a spot on the show.  It was obvious that Bob and I would sing and Marvin play the piano.  Rehearsal was more like a talk through during a commercial, and it went live to tape right after.  I remember working out a "quick change" song with Marvin.  It was Supercalifragilisticexpallidoshis" that Bob and I would sing alternating syllables.  It was a challenge to see who could go the fastest.  We set a key determined the tempo of the first and second times and the third time I said to Marvin, "Just go as fast as you can play it."  To that point I had never lagged behind any piano player to ever attempt the bit. 

As the camera's rolled Bob was sitting on Marvin's grand piano.  We sang the song the first time and Bob said, "Faster, Marvin.... ".  The second time was about as fast as we could go but that is when the bit actually started.  Bob said "Faster, Jay the song needs to be faster. Bet you can't do it." I said, "I can sing it just as fast as you Bob."  

For some reason in an unrehearsed moment Bob looked at Marvin and said, "Yeah well, I can sing it as fast as Mr. Tony here can play it."  I will never forget the twinkle in Marvin's eye.  He played a measure of pick up intro and off we went.  It was the fastest I have ever tried to sing that song before or since.  I had no idea a man could move his fingers across a keyboard that fast.  We ended in a dead heat and both of us... if not all three.. burst into laughter.  I'm not even sure the audience liked it as much as we did.  It was magical.

Forever there after I told everyone that Marvin Hamlish once played for me and Bob.  I am still proud of that, and now I have a chance to tell it again.

I didn't know Marvin very well. We did some corporate shows together after that and he continued to be the clever, talented and funny man he always was.  He will be missed.

As you were,

Jay

Twinkle in a Glass Eye...

This is a quick 2:00  mini doc for people who have seen "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only".  I talk about Art Sieving and show pictures of his work. It will just be the study of an artist's work if you don't know my show.  Either way I hope like it.

For those who haven't seen the show we are running a contest for tickets to Thalian Hall on September 15, 2012.  If you are in the area or will be in that part of the country, give the contest a tumble.  You have to be a "liker" of  the Two and Only FaceBook Page but nothing else is required.

I personally can't wait and I hope to see you all there.

As you were,

Jay

Starbuck Rider...

It was an early morning changing of the guard at Starbucks. The morning crowd arrived to remind the "all nighters" that a new day was here. At first it is hard to tell who has been up all night and who just threw on clothes to stumble in for their first cup of coffee. The recently awakened and the overly tired look very much alike. Eventually business attire outweighs the sweats and casual clothes of the people waiting in line and morning has officially replaced the night. Some patrons continue on to work and others return to their homes for rest. But a select group of others arrive to start their day and make Starbucks their personal office space. They are the Starbuck writers. There are no stats on the number of Starbuck writers who are living and working in the Los Angeles area. My theory is that Starbucks limits their number to three or four per store, but has opened so many stores to accommodate their number.

They come with backpacks and satchels containing all they might need for a field office. I have seen some set their make shift desk with two phones and a stapler. One of the first SW's to arrive gets his pick of the best mobile office position. It is a table for two across from the door and the counter. With his back to the wall his position gives him a perspective on everything that is going on, while at the same time insuring that no one can get behind him to actually see what he is writing on his lap top. This is the prize location, because for the SW it is more important that they be seen writing than actually write something someone can read.

I find it very difficult to write under such conditions and theorize that the SW is not defending their public office space to write but has come for inspiration. They are hoping that the next reality show will walk through the door, they will write it and live on residuals for the rest of their life. Los Angeles is a boom town. You are always just one project and one power meeting away from a deal that will change your life, your career and your neighborhood. It doesn't matter if you have ever written before, the minute you get to Hollywood you see pure crap being sold and aired daily. Surely it did not even take the dedication of showing up at a Starbucks to write that trash... anyone could do it, it is just a matter of timing. That right idea or that right agent or manager could walk through that door any second. You just have to be ready, and most importanly you have to be there. And if opportunity does walk in, it is best that you look busy working on the idea that will make everyone involved a millionaire. At least that is what I see as I am typing away here at Starbucks.

But wait, how about a reality show with the SW's spending their days waiting on that break. The break that will smell of caffine and pastries. Here is hoping that the right agent walks through that door so I can pitch. I need to be a millionaire by 1:00 or I'll have to find some work.

As you were,

Jay

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Back to Normal?

One of the greatest frustrations in modern times is software or hardware that doesn't work like it should on a computer.   I can think of nothing that gets my blood boiling faster than an application that was working and then doesn't.  The worst part is, it all began because I did an app upgrade.

I was playing with my iMovie to create the Duck I published over the weekend.  Got the Duck up and running when I saw that iMovie had an upgrade.  Wow it will work even better now, was my thought.

That was not the case. It crashed immediately. The definition of insanity is "Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result."  That certainly describes my next 36 hours.  

I am a Mac guy, it was my first computer and I have been a loyal fan of Apple since their inception.  I am far from a Genius Bar geek, but it has to be some problem that is buried pretty deep before I go from merely "frustrated" to "stark raving". The iMovie app problem was buried deeper than Jimmy Hoffa. (you kids look it up... Jimmy Hoffa). It finally got to a point of being on the phone with Apple Tech about 4 hours.  

The same gene that won't allow men to ask for directions is the same one that keeps us from calling tech support. It is absolutely my last resort when faced with a continuing problem.  I will only "go there" when I have exhausted every ounce of energy in a fruitless battle. And of course tech support has to start from the absolute basics before they can move on to the stuff I haven't tried already. If I heard the phrase "let's try this" one more time from my telephone buddy Jason, who's accent sounded more like his name was Jaffar, I was ready to fly over to his office and smack him.

Of course we tried all things I had already done like take out all the files and the preferences and the plug ins and see if that made a difference. By this time I had even tossed and reinstalled the app twice ignoring the upgrade that seemed to cause the problems. "Go ahead and open up iMovie," Jason would say followed by two words from me,  "Okay... crash".  Repeating this routine getting the same results occupied our time for most of the 4 hours. 

It's not that the errant app was impeding my work.  Everything else was working fine, only an app that I hadn't used in several months and probably wouldn't again for at least that long was crashing. But as is the way with this modern day drama, nothing in my life could progress until I had the app up and running again. Finally deep in the library of Linux code was a tiny little plug in that was causing all the problems.  We tossed that and the next time I opened iMovie it worked fine. I had to say good bye to my good friend Jason with tears of sadness that our time together was done.

One of the greatest moments of happiness in modern times is software or hardware that works just like it should on a computer.  If all events in life would have this immediate and joyful resolve... it would be a better ride.

As you were,

Jay

Ventriloquist Goes Crazy?

It is my belief that most ventriloquists aren't crazy; it is the people around them that assume they are crazy. Case in point:

I am working on a project with my friend Harry. He is in North Carolina and I am here in California. Our collaborations in the past have taken place in a shared office in the same state.  This long distance partnership is more difficult.  It means that we have several conversations on the phone almost daily. Depending on the matter at hand we can talk for an hour. If I don't end up laughing out loud more than twice it was not a very long conversation. 

Harry and Jay. Collaborating? Playing? or just Crazy?

Harry and I have always enjoyed the process of creation, often, more than the actual completion of the job. When we were producing shows for network television we used to say: Creating the show is like meeting a dream girl and taking her back to your house for a fantasy evening. Actually doing the show is like trying to get her out of your house a week later when you have lost total interest in the relationship. 

I like to pace when I think. Since modern phones do not require you to stay in one place anymore, I can pace while I am thinking and talking on the phone.  In conversations with Harry I find myself strolling around my yard conversing.  When I am talking to Harry I am pitching jokes, talking plot twists and character development for our story.  It never occurred to me that the conversation was being "shared" with anyone else.  Evidently I was wrong.

Although in Los Angeles you can go days without seeing your neighbors, when I returned from Wilmington last week I saw my next door neighbor Dale. Dale is retired and spends most of his time puttering around his house. He said, "Well, I guess you are getting ready to do a big show?"

I was taken back thinking that he might be a follower of JJtwoandonly on FaceBook or might even be a  blog reader.  However, I don't see him of an age or generation that would do much more than email on a computer.  I said, "Yes, in Wilmington in a couple of months. How did you know that?"

He said, "I've heard you rehearsing in your yard."

As first that didn't make any sense until I realized that he had been listening to my conversations with Harry over the last few weeks.  If one could not see the phone in my hand one might think that I was conversing with myself. In my profession it would be acceptable and in context... normal.  It might have been easy to say that I was just talking on the phone to a friend, but for some reason I didn't go there.  I just said, "That's the great thing about what I do, I can rehearse anywhere." 

I guess it is easier to let him think that I am talking to myself than trying to explain a conversation that wouldn't make sense to him any way. Although I didn't correct his misconception of what I am doing in my back yard, I will be aware that when I am pacing the perimeter of the yard I might be monitored by the neighbors.  Although, having your neighbors think that you are crazy is a good way to keep them at a friendly distance. 

All if this is NOT to say that I don't sometimes talk to myself or Bob when I am alone around the house. It is possible that Dale also heard one of those moments in my life. Who knows? 

So here is to being perceived as crazy while not really having to be so.... I love my work.

As you were,

Jay

Technology is: Therfore...uh.. What?

When there are so many technical abilities at the fingertips of so many to be shared so quickly in this day,  the question is not "Do we text or tweet"?  The question is "should we do it at all?"

Case in point... This is an "in-house" self congratulatory animated commercial shamelessly promoting my show at Thalian Hall on September 15, 2012.    

Here it is, I will continue after.

Now think about this from my perspective. Who knows if the time spent putting this together will really motivate someone to buy a ticket. I know it is not John Ivy quality animation, but...here is the amazing thing.  I drew that duck, did the voice, and my iPad animated and converted it into a video cartoon with sound.

As a kid my favorite piece of equipment was the tape recorder. At seven years old my first tape recorder was an Ampex that was as big as a speaker cabinet.  I had that one over a summer because it actually belonged to the school. Over the years I have owned countless recording devices in every format ever invented.  

I spent my childhood doing voices, recording my ventriloquist routines, interviewing people, writing radio shows all on some sort of recording device. But I wanted to do more than I could do with just a simple tape recorder. I wanted to add sound effects, speed it up and slow it down.  I was developing characters and listening to the the sounds I could make. What I wanted was to be the voice of an animated character. But it was beyond my equipment. I wanted my own recording studio at Disney Main Lot. 

So here it is, Sat. July, 28, 2012 and I took my drawing of a duck put it in PhotoSpeak, recorded a few takes and watched the animation instantly. I voiced an animated cartoon in less than an hour. I added scrolling titles and a slug at the end and now here it is on the world wide web stage for anyone to see. 

Perhaps the question "Shall we do it?" was answered when Sir Edmund Hillary said he would climb Mt. Everest "because it is there".  

This is an amazing dimension to live in.

As you were,

Jay

Neither Rain nor sleet, nor dark of Night....

That is the phrase that they once used for delivery of the mail.  Perhaps in this modern technology that can't be said for email.  Yesterday I wrote a blog on the road and sent it through my normal channels which involves emailing it.  I was proud of the article because it talked about my Dreams experience in Wilmington, and some thoughts on Thalian Hall. Although that emailing process is almost instantaneously published, it never appeared on this site. I rewrote it in abridged form from my iPhone, and the results were the same... no post.

This morning I get a message from the robots that patrol the web telling me that I did not need to resend the message which contained the blog but that it would be delayed by up to two days.  I have never received a message like that before. I have gotten the messages like we all get that the message was undeliverable, but not that it had taken a side trip.

So... rather than try and rewrite the thoughts I have already written I will wait to see it it shows up in a couple of days. 

Either way, my time at Dreams of Wilmington was such a joy that I am still shining from it a bit.  To see kids that are struggling just to exist in this world take such joy in the Arts, and rededicate their attention to something constructive and beautiful is tremendously uplifting.  The executive Director Tracey Wilkes is living proof that one person can make a difference in the lives of hundreds, perhaps thousands of others. If there were more Tracey Wilkes in this world it would certainly be a more beautiful and productive place.

So,  it is balls to the wall and pedal to the metal to get this circus to Wilmington and get it on film.  That of course will start another clock running on the editing and marketing process.  As I told the kids at Dreams, it is not that working in the Arts is less strenuous, it is just doing the thing that you love.  If you love what you do then it isn't work... but the process is the same.  Oxymoron... perhaps.

As you were,

Jay

NightMare

It woke me up this morning. There is nothing quite as disturbing as trying to shake the specters of a nightmare while at the same time trying to figure out where you are. This was true today when I woke trying to figure out what was real, what was a dream and where the hell I was. Turns out that I am still in Wilmington, NC. Of course that was the last thought that I came to when I fully awoke. It is confusing even when I realize it is not my own bed but a hotel room I am waking too. Living a large part of my like in Hotel rooms, the process becomes a regular event. The homogenous nature hotel rooms does not help me place it in a geographic location while in a groggy state of awareness. I have joked with my kids that when it is time to "put me away" they should find a home for the aged that looks like a Hilton hotel room. As they lock me away they will simply say, "Mr. Johnson, when they are ready for your sound check, I'll call you." In my addled mind it will be very familiar and I will write blogs forgetting that there is no show to do that night.

The nightmare is a familiar one as well. It comes back to me over and over again. The settings and the surroundings change but the panic remains constant. Basically it is this: I am somewhere I do not recognize, and for some reason I put down the suitcase that contains one of my wooden partners. I am distracted for a moment or in my dream perhaps it could be hours, but when I return the suitcase is not there. A panic ensues and there is no one that realized the depth of my concern or the location of the solution.

Last night I was on some island. A softball game was taking place and after retiring the batting order I am enlisted to be next at bat. I protest that it has been too long since I tried to hit a ball with a bat, but it as unconscious drama dictates, I am the teams only hope of winning. The pitcher can not get a ball even near the plate and the game is delayed while they try to find a tee to hold the ball so the game can proceed. Time comes for the water taxi to take us back to the mainland and the spot where I left my case is deserted. I accuse several people of taking it... by accident and or malice. I even get "into it" with an old lady who swears that a case which looks exactly like mine is hers. It is loaded onto a cart and covered with a grandmother shawl. It is an anvil type case and I remind her that an elderly lady would not have a case like that to travel. She refuses to open it up to prove that it didn't contain a puppet. It seems to me an easy solution to the misunderstanding, but she is absolutely sure I am wrong and offended by my insistence. I woke with mixed emotions, disgust at the old grandmother, panic on the location of the case and bewildered on where to start looking in this unfamiliar yet totally recognizable hotel room.

Of course the room is small enough the moment my eyes clear to see the actual case clearly, so the major panic is calmed. The old lady vanishes but I continue to try for a few minutes to understand where I am and why I am there.

One might think that in a lucid moment of the dream I would remember this is a recurring theme and just go with the fantasy. That never happens. I have had lucid moments when I know that I am dreaming and go with the flow, but it never happens when I am looking for that case. To my subconscious credit there is always someone in the dream plot who will say to me in affect, "You'll find it. Don't be upset... everything is fine." This means to me on some level I know that I am dreaming, but the voice is not strong enough to hold weight in that nightmare.

It does prove the power of the imagination when, even in a completely illogical situation, the belief that it is total reality continues to be so intense.

There is a lot to do today and I do not feel as rested as I could be. However, as I go through the day, worry about the location of the personified tools of my trade will not be an issue.... I hope.

As you were,

Jay

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