Technical Overload

Between Bob's Vlogs, the FaceBook page, twitter, www. monkeyjoke.com,  www.thetwoandonly.com and actual duties for the up coming filming I'm in overload.  The blog is getting the short shrift of this involvement.

That is a shame as far as I am concerned.  The blog is where I get to think about more than just this performance. If I am not blogging about the show then there is a tug from the capitalist inside of me that says I need to spend the energy in promotion. The problem with all of this social media and Internet traffic is the microscopic attention span of the participants.  It seems if you don't post something most every day you get lost in the avalanche.  And although I think that pictures of cats doing funny things is entertaining, there are just so many that I can absorb in a day.  

The traditional ways of promoting a show or event have changed so radically in the last few years all solid templates are out of date.  It used to be if you could afford a big ad in the local news it was good as gold for attendance.  With print media struggling it is not as good of an investment as it once was.  

All this to say that I miss being able to write about anything that I want to in this blog. It just gets pushed to the back of the "to do list".  

So if there are any readers still checking this blog, it will soon return to normal.  There are only a few weeks before the shoot. 

Thanks for hanging in there, if  you are, keep checking the Jjtwoandonly facebook page for more up to the minute information.  It may be that I have to keep my ramblings to 140 characters and tweet rather than blog.  I'm not sure that I could ever be that succinct and economical with my words but if that becomes the attention span of the general public, I guess that is progress.

More later from these same venues of communication.

As you were,

Jay

Older Voice...

Vaudevillians became so good at their act because... they were always doing the same act.  They perfected their act, their skill and their talents by repeating the act and changing audiences. It is the subject of a separate blog but the best piece of advice I ever got was from Ted Knight.  Before he played Ted Baxter on the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" he was a performing ventriloquist.  At age 13 or 14, I met him while he was doing his act at a trade show in Lubbock, Texas.  He said, "Perform for as many audiences as often you can."
Vaudeville was perfect for that training. You did multiple shows all over the country for different audiences all the time. Your act became a well timed piece of theatre with every nuance polished to perfection. You perfected the act by changing the audience. I found theme parks. It was perfect for me and what I wanted to do.  I my show  "Jay Johnson:The Two and Only"  I recall the time I did 918 shows one summer at Six Flags over Georgia.
But that was Vaudeville history. And probably theme park history now.  Today the concept is to perfect the audience by continually changing the act.
Recently I posted a routine with SQUEAKY and me from an early HBO special. Perhaps 10 years later I performed a version of that routine with Bob.   Ruth Buzzi jumps into the middle. The sound is not very good but here is another accidental find.

It is interesting to me to watch the routines brought together by the miracle of old tape collectors and YouTube. Sort of a weird time machine where I am more observer than participant.  Bob never has done the "Great Figaro Challenge" but it may be time to find an orchestra that will let him try.
As you were,
Jay

A Young Voice....

In the early days of SOAP HBO was just a cable station in New York but they were already trying to do original programing.  They produced a variety show called, "The Vent Event" with all the ventriloquist of the day.  Shari Lewis, Edgar Bergen, Jimmy Nelson and myself being the fresh face in the vent world at the time.

It was my second time to be around Edgar Bergen who was one of my idols.  He watched this routine and later came up to me and said something that I will never forget.  Mr. Bergen said to me, "That was very, very good. You have such great control. And your voice is... well... your voice is... Well damnit it's a YOUNG VOICE."  

Funny how those words come back when I accidentally found this clip on YouTube.  I watched this routine like I had never seen it before, much like Edgar Bergen might have experienced seeing it. This turned out to be the last  television show Mr. Bergen did before he passed away.   It has been a long time since I did "The great Figaro Challenge."  I never felt closer to Mr. Bergen than right now in my life.  It is an odd roll being one of the elder statesmen of ventriloquism. As I watched this routine I thought,  "that's a young voice." 

As you were,

Jay

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Viral Greatness...

There is a new Schwabs Drug store in the world of show business.  If that reference is vague it is easy to explain.  Schwabs Drug Store used to be a landmark establishment on the corner of Sunset and Crescent Heights Bld in Hollywood. Long gone now but legend has it that Lana Turner was discovered while she was sitting at the lunch counter in Schwabs Drug Store. It is the fabric of the stereo-typical Hollywood dream, which goes something like this: You are sitting having lunch when a cigar smoking power broker walks in,  sees you at the lunch counter and says, "Come with me I'm going to make you a star." The rest is Academy Awards history.

I don't know how may times that actually happened or how many times it was used as a pick-up line. And there is no way to know if it really happened or if it was not just some publicity agent's fertile imagination. Either way the rumor made Schwabs lunch counter the place to be in the early days of Hollywood.  

Later the idea of instant fame and discovery became associated with the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson.  This was the belief that you only had to do one great shot on the Tonight Show. If you were called over to the couch by Johnny on your first appearance, the next day you could be in development for a sitcom. Of course getting a shot on the Tonight Show was not easy.  It was certainly harder than having lunch at the right Drug Store Counter, but the actual odds of getting that "one big break" were just as staggering.  I often thought that instead of a couch on the Tonight Show set they should have had a lunch counter. But I am old fashion in a lot of ways.

Now there is a new route to stardom.  It is a modern day path to that ultimate Hollywood dream of being discovered.  The part of Schwabs Drugstore is now played by YouTube and the cigar smoking agent has been replaced by the number of hits a video receives.  Being called over to Johnny's couch is now referred to as "going viral".

Viral greatness is what I call it.  Someone uploads their video to Youtube. It is seen by people who email it to other people that recommend it to friends who like it on FaceBook.  The Internet being a mathematical creature counts the the number of these hits and records it for all to see. It is the ethernet equivalent of drawing a large crowd.

Since this is Capitalistic America, where there is a large crowd gathering, "vendors" appear ready to sell their wares to the gathering masses. It was ever so. In the days of public hangings the local storekeepers would flock to the gallows to sell to their goods and services to the throngs.  I'm sure these local storekeepers, who sold more of their inventory to the crowds, referred to that as a "good day". Maybe for the merchants, but what about the Hangee? 

Fame, money, stardom and popularity are all mixed together in one Show Biz dream.  In reality they are four separate paths that are not bundled together.  It is easy to separate them when you think about it. One can be famous without being popular. One can be rich and not have stardom. One can be popular but poor and unknown.  Do you want to be famous, rich, popular or a media star?  Well, pick one, you have a better shot at attaining one of those dreams if you are willing to sacrifice everything else for it. Sacrificing everything means giving up the desire for the other three to gain the one, if that is what it takes. It is a crap shoot and the odds double exponentially with every adjective you add to the dream. 

I know this sounds like a guy who would start this discussion with, "Why back in my day."  And there could be some of that influence on my attitude this morning.  It is a little late for me to be "discovered". Some might even say that I have been to the show and had my turn.  However, I am stuck in the Johnny Carson era of seeking fame.  I like the idea of working really hard to get the best act you can so it is good enough to be on the Tonight Show with the hopes that the hard work will pay off. I might be invited to the couch where I am auctioned off to the power brokers. It is hard for me to think of YouTubing myself riding a unicycle down a water slide with the hopes that either my incredible skill or humiliating fall will go viral. If it gets enough attention I can repeat the stunt on Jimmy Kimmel.  It is not the path to popularity/fame/riches/stardom I am familiar with.  

Wait... I know I will video myself sitting at the counter of Schwabs drug store waiting to be discovered.  I better shine up the unicycle and find a really tall water slide.  Jimmy might invite me over to the couch if I can still walk after the stunt.

As you were,

Jay

Vendor selling to the crowd....

Judge Judy

I worked for Stu Billett and Ralph Edwards when they produced "The People's Court".  They were also producing "So You Think You Got Troubles." It was my show.  It didn't take off like "Peoples Court" but....That is a different much longer blog than time for today.  

"The Peoples Court" was a ground breaker, spawning so many other court shows it is hard to remember when television programing wasn't crammed with knock-offs. 

"People's Court" with Judge Wopner maintained an air of civil obedience closer to an actual court room than most  court shows try to recreate today.  The genera of court show has been "Springerized" into a public spanking and character lynching. 

It is the modern day equal of stocks and pillories in the public square. The public gathers round to mock the misbehavers and occasionally toss a vegetable at them. Only now the humiliation is witnessed by millions. 

Television voyeurs observe what it is like to be publicly humiliated and harshly judged by authority figures, while not suffering from the experience.  In fact it may give the viewer a rush, feeling the satisfaction of, at least, not being the person judged.  

Currently my favorite show to watch with my jaw hanging open, is Judge Judy.  Judge Judy has become less of a judge while becoming more judgmental, which sounds like an oxymoron.  She is no longer a Judge applying law to a dispute but your worst school teacher scolding you in front of the class.  Obviously the meaner Judge Judy is the better it works. The tipping point is when the cases no longer matter we just want to see the teacher go off on somebody, meaning somebody else. Why not just skip the court part of the show and go right to Judge Judy scolding someone. Just herd people on, Judy tells them how wasted their lives have been, then you bring on the next ones to be scolded. That's your show. 

I suggest that the shark jumping tipping point has already taken place. Judge Judy is now doing just that.  As the Internet is proof of all things here is the very moment it happened:

Change the title.  Just call it "Judy Judges"; it's now a show about  Judy condemning and looking down on people in public. Why confuse it with the trappings of a court show?  Why pretend that the show has anything left of the Wopner class other than ripping off the set?  Why watch people behaving their worst, which most often is Judy herself? Why am I drawn to watch it like a bug to the zapper?  I would not say it is like a fly being drawn to shit, because a fly is benefited by the shit. I think the harm done by this attraction is more like the zapper. This magnification of bad behavior has to be detrimental. Why did I write a blog talking about it? If you have the answers let me know.

That is all,

As you were,

Jay

Marvin Hamlish

Back when daytime television was filled with talk shows like the Mike Douglas show, I was a semi-regular on their rosters.  I think I did around 30 spots on the Douglas show alone.

Before it was a network syndication phenom,  The Mike Douglas show filmed in Philadelphia.  It was a very small studio in the middle of downtown and had a local show feel to it.  The audience was no more than 50 people. When they moved the show to Hollywood, the feeling changed at the Television City Studios.

Back in the Philadelphia days I did the show with another guest, Marvin Hamlish. He was red hot after winning a Tony for "A Chorus Line" but very much down to earth and funny.  The Douglas staff decided that we should do something together as a spot on the show.  It was obvious that Bob and I would sing and Marvin play the piano.  Rehearsal was more like a talk through during a commercial, and it went live to tape right after.  I remember working out a "quick change" song with Marvin.  It was Supercalifragilisticexpallidoshis" that Bob and I would sing alternating syllables.  It was a challenge to see who could go the fastest.  We set a key determined the tempo of the first and second times and the third time I said to Marvin, "Just go as fast as you can play it."  To that point I had never lagged behind any piano player to ever attempt the bit. 

As the camera's rolled Bob was sitting on Marvin's grand piano.  We sang the song the first time and Bob said, "Faster, Marvin.... ".  The second time was about as fast as we could go but that is when the bit actually started.  Bob said "Faster, Jay the song needs to be faster. Bet you can't do it." I said, "I can sing it just as fast as you Bob."  

For some reason in an unrehearsed moment Bob looked at Marvin and said, "Yeah well, I can sing it as fast as Mr. Tony here can play it."  I will never forget the twinkle in Marvin's eye.  He played a measure of pick up intro and off we went.  It was the fastest I have ever tried to sing that song before or since.  I had no idea a man could move his fingers across a keyboard that fast.  We ended in a dead heat and both of us... if not all three.. burst into laughter.  I'm not even sure the audience liked it as much as we did.  It was magical.

Forever there after I told everyone that Marvin Hamlish once played for me and Bob.  I am still proud of that, and now I have a chance to tell it again.

I didn't know Marvin very well. We did some corporate shows together after that and he continued to be the clever, talented and funny man he always was.  He will be missed.

As you were,

Jay

Twinkle in a Glass Eye...

This is a quick 2:00  mini doc for people who have seen "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only".  I talk about Art Sieving and show pictures of his work. It will just be the study of an artist's work if you don't know my show.  Either way I hope like it.

For those who haven't seen the show we are running a contest for tickets to Thalian Hall on September 15, 2012.  If you are in the area or will be in that part of the country, give the contest a tumble.  You have to be a "liker" of  the Two and Only FaceBook Page but nothing else is required.

I personally can't wait and I hope to see you all there.

As you were,

Jay

Starbuck Rider...

It was an early morning changing of the guard at Starbucks. The morning crowd arrived to remind the "all nighters" that a new day was here. At first it is hard to tell who has been up all night and who just threw on clothes to stumble in for their first cup of coffee. The recently awakened and the overly tired look very much alike. Eventually business attire outweighs the sweats and casual clothes of the people waiting in line and morning has officially replaced the night. Some patrons continue on to work and others return to their homes for rest. But a select group of others arrive to start their day and make Starbucks their personal office space. They are the Starbuck writers. There are no stats on the number of Starbuck writers who are living and working in the Los Angeles area. My theory is that Starbucks limits their number to three or four per store, but has opened so many stores to accommodate their number.

They come with backpacks and satchels containing all they might need for a field office. I have seen some set their make shift desk with two phones and a stapler. One of the first SW's to arrive gets his pick of the best mobile office position. It is a table for two across from the door and the counter. With his back to the wall his position gives him a perspective on everything that is going on, while at the same time insuring that no one can get behind him to actually see what he is writing on his lap top. This is the prize location, because for the SW it is more important that they be seen writing than actually write something someone can read.

I find it very difficult to write under such conditions and theorize that the SW is not defending their public office space to write but has come for inspiration. They are hoping that the next reality show will walk through the door, they will write it and live on residuals for the rest of their life. Los Angeles is a boom town. You are always just one project and one power meeting away from a deal that will change your life, your career and your neighborhood. It doesn't matter if you have ever written before, the minute you get to Hollywood you see pure crap being sold and aired daily. Surely it did not even take the dedication of showing up at a Starbucks to write that trash... anyone could do it, it is just a matter of timing. That right idea or that right agent or manager could walk through that door any second. You just have to be ready, and most importanly you have to be there. And if opportunity does walk in, it is best that you look busy working on the idea that will make everyone involved a millionaire. At least that is what I see as I am typing away here at Starbucks.

But wait, how about a reality show with the SW's spending their days waiting on that break. The break that will smell of caffine and pastries. Here is hoping that the right agent walks through that door so I can pitch. I need to be a millionaire by 1:00 or I'll have to find some work.

As you were,

Jay

Posted with Blogsy

Back to Normal?

One of the greatest frustrations in modern times is software or hardware that doesn't work like it should on a computer.   I can think of nothing that gets my blood boiling faster than an application that was working and then doesn't.  The worst part is, it all began because I did an app upgrade.

I was playing with my iMovie to create the Duck I published over the weekend.  Got the Duck up and running when I saw that iMovie had an upgrade.  Wow it will work even better now, was my thought.

That was not the case. It crashed immediately. The definition of insanity is "Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result."  That certainly describes my next 36 hours.  

I am a Mac guy, it was my first computer and I have been a loyal fan of Apple since their inception.  I am far from a Genius Bar geek, but it has to be some problem that is buried pretty deep before I go from merely "frustrated" to "stark raving". The iMovie app problem was buried deeper than Jimmy Hoffa. (you kids look it up... Jimmy Hoffa). It finally got to a point of being on the phone with Apple Tech about 4 hours.  

The same gene that won't allow men to ask for directions is the same one that keeps us from calling tech support. It is absolutely my last resort when faced with a continuing problem.  I will only "go there" when I have exhausted every ounce of energy in a fruitless battle. And of course tech support has to start from the absolute basics before they can move on to the stuff I haven't tried already. If I heard the phrase "let's try this" one more time from my telephone buddy Jason, who's accent sounded more like his name was Jaffar, I was ready to fly over to his office and smack him.

Of course we tried all things I had already done like take out all the files and the preferences and the plug ins and see if that made a difference. By this time I had even tossed and reinstalled the app twice ignoring the upgrade that seemed to cause the problems. "Go ahead and open up iMovie," Jason would say followed by two words from me,  "Okay... crash".  Repeating this routine getting the same results occupied our time for most of the 4 hours. 

It's not that the errant app was impeding my work.  Everything else was working fine, only an app that I hadn't used in several months and probably wouldn't again for at least that long was crashing. But as is the way with this modern day drama, nothing in my life could progress until I had the app up and running again. Finally deep in the library of Linux code was a tiny little plug in that was causing all the problems.  We tossed that and the next time I opened iMovie it worked fine. I had to say good bye to my good friend Jason with tears of sadness that our time together was done.

One of the greatest moments of happiness in modern times is software or hardware that works just like it should on a computer.  If all events in life would have this immediate and joyful resolve... it would be a better ride.

As you were,

Jay

Ventriloquist Goes Crazy?

It is my belief that most ventriloquists aren't crazy; it is the people around them that assume they are crazy. Case in point:

I am working on a project with my friend Harry. He is in North Carolina and I am here in California. Our collaborations in the past have taken place in a shared office in the same state.  This long distance partnership is more difficult.  It means that we have several conversations on the phone almost daily. Depending on the matter at hand we can talk for an hour. If I don't end up laughing out loud more than twice it was not a very long conversation. 

Harry and Jay. Collaborating? Playing? or just Crazy?

Harry and I have always enjoyed the process of creation, often, more than the actual completion of the job. When we were producing shows for network television we used to say: Creating the show is like meeting a dream girl and taking her back to your house for a fantasy evening. Actually doing the show is like trying to get her out of your house a week later when you have lost total interest in the relationship. 

I like to pace when I think. Since modern phones do not require you to stay in one place anymore, I can pace while I am thinking and talking on the phone.  In conversations with Harry I find myself strolling around my yard conversing.  When I am talking to Harry I am pitching jokes, talking plot twists and character development for our story.  It never occurred to me that the conversation was being "shared" with anyone else.  Evidently I was wrong.

Although in Los Angeles you can go days without seeing your neighbors, when I returned from Wilmington last week I saw my next door neighbor Dale. Dale is retired and spends most of his time puttering around his house. He said, "Well, I guess you are getting ready to do a big show?"

I was taken back thinking that he might be a follower of JJtwoandonly on FaceBook or might even be a  blog reader.  However, I don't see him of an age or generation that would do much more than email on a computer.  I said, "Yes, in Wilmington in a couple of months. How did you know that?"

He said, "I've heard you rehearsing in your yard."

As first that didn't make any sense until I realized that he had been listening to my conversations with Harry over the last few weeks.  If one could not see the phone in my hand one might think that I was conversing with myself. In my profession it would be acceptable and in context... normal.  It might have been easy to say that I was just talking on the phone to a friend, but for some reason I didn't go there.  I just said, "That's the great thing about what I do, I can rehearse anywhere." 

I guess it is easier to let him think that I am talking to myself than trying to explain a conversation that wouldn't make sense to him any way. Although I didn't correct his misconception of what I am doing in my back yard, I will be aware that when I am pacing the perimeter of the yard I might be monitored by the neighbors.  Although, having your neighbors think that you are crazy is a good way to keep them at a friendly distance. 

All if this is NOT to say that I don't sometimes talk to myself or Bob when I am alone around the house. It is possible that Dale also heard one of those moments in my life. Who knows? 

So here is to being perceived as crazy while not really having to be so.... I love my work.

As you were,

Jay

Technology is: Therfore...uh.. What?

When there are so many technical abilities at the fingertips of so many to be shared so quickly in this day,  the question is not "Do we text or tweet"?  The question is "should we do it at all?"

Case in point... This is an "in-house" self congratulatory animated commercial shamelessly promoting my show at Thalian Hall on September 15, 2012.    

Here it is, I will continue after.

Now think about this from my perspective. Who knows if the time spent putting this together will really motivate someone to buy a ticket. I know it is not John Ivy quality animation, but...here is the amazing thing.  I drew that duck, did the voice, and my iPad animated and converted it into a video cartoon with sound.

As a kid my favorite piece of equipment was the tape recorder. At seven years old my first tape recorder was an Ampex that was as big as a speaker cabinet.  I had that one over a summer because it actually belonged to the school. Over the years I have owned countless recording devices in every format ever invented.  

I spent my childhood doing voices, recording my ventriloquist routines, interviewing people, writing radio shows all on some sort of recording device. But I wanted to do more than I could do with just a simple tape recorder. I wanted to add sound effects, speed it up and slow it down.  I was developing characters and listening to the the sounds I could make. What I wanted was to be the voice of an animated character. But it was beyond my equipment. I wanted my own recording studio at Disney Main Lot. 

So here it is, Sat. July, 28, 2012 and I took my drawing of a duck put it in PhotoSpeak, recorded a few takes and watched the animation instantly. I voiced an animated cartoon in less than an hour. I added scrolling titles and a slug at the end and now here it is on the world wide web stage for anyone to see. 

Perhaps the question "Shall we do it?" was answered when Sir Edmund Hillary said he would climb Mt. Everest "because it is there".  

This is an amazing dimension to live in.

As you were,

Jay

Neither Rain nor sleet, nor dark of Night....

That is the phrase that they once used for delivery of the mail.  Perhaps in this modern technology that can't be said for email.  Yesterday I wrote a blog on the road and sent it through my normal channels which involves emailing it.  I was proud of the article because it talked about my Dreams experience in Wilmington, and some thoughts on Thalian Hall. Although that emailing process is almost instantaneously published, it never appeared on this site. I rewrote it in abridged form from my iPhone, and the results were the same... no post.

This morning I get a message from the robots that patrol the web telling me that I did not need to resend the message which contained the blog but that it would be delayed by up to two days.  I have never received a message like that before. I have gotten the messages like we all get that the message was undeliverable, but not that it had taken a side trip.

So... rather than try and rewrite the thoughts I have already written I will wait to see it it shows up in a couple of days. 

Either way, my time at Dreams of Wilmington was such a joy that I am still shining from it a bit.  To see kids that are struggling just to exist in this world take such joy in the Arts, and rededicate their attention to something constructive and beautiful is tremendously uplifting.  The executive Director Tracey Wilkes is living proof that one person can make a difference in the lives of hundreds, perhaps thousands of others. If there were more Tracey Wilkes in this world it would certainly be a more beautiful and productive place.

So,  it is balls to the wall and pedal to the metal to get this circus to Wilmington and get it on film.  That of course will start another clock running on the editing and marketing process.  As I told the kids at Dreams, it is not that working in the Arts is less strenuous, it is just doing the thing that you love.  If you love what you do then it isn't work... but the process is the same.  Oxymoron... perhaps.

As you were,

Jay

NightMare

It woke me up this morning. There is nothing quite as disturbing as trying to shake the specters of a nightmare while at the same time trying to figure out where you are. This was true today when I woke trying to figure out what was real, what was a dream and where the hell I was. Turns out that I am still in Wilmington, NC. Of course that was the last thought that I came to when I fully awoke. It is confusing even when I realize it is not my own bed but a hotel room I am waking too. Living a large part of my like in Hotel rooms, the process becomes a regular event. The homogenous nature hotel rooms does not help me place it in a geographic location while in a groggy state of awareness. I have joked with my kids that when it is time to "put me away" they should find a home for the aged that looks like a Hilton hotel room. As they lock me away they will simply say, "Mr. Johnson, when they are ready for your sound check, I'll call you." In my addled mind it will be very familiar and I will write blogs forgetting that there is no show to do that night.

The nightmare is a familiar one as well. It comes back to me over and over again. The settings and the surroundings change but the panic remains constant. Basically it is this: I am somewhere I do not recognize, and for some reason I put down the suitcase that contains one of my wooden partners. I am distracted for a moment or in my dream perhaps it could be hours, but when I return the suitcase is not there. A panic ensues and there is no one that realized the depth of my concern or the location of the solution.

Last night I was on some island. A softball game was taking place and after retiring the batting order I am enlisted to be next at bat. I protest that it has been too long since I tried to hit a ball with a bat, but it as unconscious drama dictates, I am the teams only hope of winning. The pitcher can not get a ball even near the plate and the game is delayed while they try to find a tee to hold the ball so the game can proceed. Time comes for the water taxi to take us back to the mainland and the spot where I left my case is deserted. I accuse several people of taking it... by accident and or malice. I even get "into it" with an old lady who swears that a case which looks exactly like mine is hers. It is loaded onto a cart and covered with a grandmother shawl. It is an anvil type case and I remind her that an elderly lady would not have a case like that to travel. She refuses to open it up to prove that it didn't contain a puppet. It seems to me an easy solution to the misunderstanding, but she is absolutely sure I am wrong and offended by my insistence. I woke with mixed emotions, disgust at the old grandmother, panic on the location of the case and bewildered on where to start looking in this unfamiliar yet totally recognizable hotel room.

Of course the room is small enough the moment my eyes clear to see the actual case clearly, so the major panic is calmed. The old lady vanishes but I continue to try for a few minutes to understand where I am and why I am there.

One might think that in a lucid moment of the dream I would remember this is a recurring theme and just go with the fantasy. That never happens. I have had lucid moments when I know that I am dreaming and go with the flow, but it never happens when I am looking for that case. To my subconscious credit there is always someone in the dream plot who will say to me in affect, "You'll find it. Don't be upset... everything is fine." This means to me on some level I know that I am dreaming, but the voice is not strong enough to hold weight in that nightmare.

It does prove the power of the imagination when, even in a completely illogical situation, the belief that it is total reality continues to be so intense.

There is a lot to do today and I do not feel as rested as I could be. However, as I go through the day, worry about the location of the personified tools of my trade will not be an issue.... I hope.

As you were,

Jay

Posted with Blogsy

Good morning Wilmington

I'm here in Wilmington to do some publicity for the show in September. We checked on the set builders at Scenic Asylum and did some work at the theatre. I sold short the amount of work that it takes to mount the show, Broadway style, and film it at the same time. It is like Driving in a Nascar race while attempting to watch in the stands at the same time.
This is a picture of Bryan and Marge the director and producer of the shoot standing in front of the poster that is advertising the show.
Tony, the artistic director, gave me an historic tour of Thalian Hall. I have been saying that it is about the same age theatre as the Helen Hayse, however, it is almost a hundred years older. Miss Hayes was just a thought when this theatre was doing shows. Tony is such a great artistic director and historian for this theatre. I had no idea the importance of this theatre, we just picked it because it was so beautiful. I am really getting more and more excited about the show.... September 15, 2012. It seemed so far away when we started making plans a year ago, now it is a matter of weeks away. I hope that anyone who is near the area will come and join us on this historic site with what will be an historic event.
Here is a question that I wanted answered and Tony had the scoop. I asked what does Thalian mean. When I Google I get the theater but not the actual definition of the word. According to Tony, Thalia is one of the Greek muses. There is a bust of her in the lobby of Thalian Hall. She looks good for a woman pushing 2k. I'm not sure how they got her to sit still long enough to have a sculpture done but there she is.
This time of year Wilmington is hot and humid. I have to say it has not been as hot and humid as Houston, Texas. Wilmington, is a beautiful city full of southern charm and wonderfully friendly people. It just feels very right that we would document my show here.
Time will probably go to quickly for some of the production details and too long for me to get the chance to do the show again. More later from these same channels.
As you were,
Jay

Vent Haven Museum

I liked Vent Haven already because of all the memorabilia and history dedicated to my art. Now there is even more to love about it.... there are "ghost" stories associated with it.
In a late night conversation with Lynn Joy, Al Semock, Lisa Sweasy, and Annie Roberts the subject of discussion turned to ghost stories. It seems the Museum is not immune to such legends. I guess I never really thought of it since ventriloquism has such an other world reputation and past anyway; And Vent Haven is housed in old historic buildings. But here is the way I heard it last night from Annie, who literally grew up in the museum.
One of the members of the Advisory board was doing some video taping late one evening in Building one. (If you do not know building one then you have to come to the Museum and experience it yourself.) Along with Annie the job at hand was to catalogue some of the older vent puppets on video for posterity. At one point during the filming the lights went out suddenly casting them in total darkness.
The building has no windows and it was night time as well. It was only a few minutes before Annie's husband showed up with a lit candle and the appropriate breaker switch was restored and there were no voices, sitings or contact from the other side. However, none of the images of that evening survived. The video was blank. Cue the spooky music.
Now it is an old building and breakers are made to turn off, in fact that is their function. And logically one might say that the extra power used by the camera was enough to throw the breaker. Although, that problem is more associated with toasters or hairdryers which pull massive amounts of power, much more than a video camera. And one might argue that the very power surge that tripped the breaker was enough to erase the magnetic tape. But what can not be argued is the timing of the entire event. Those old puppets in that old building have the most varied and colorful history. For me it was a phenom to be lumped in the category of mysterious. For others it was an electrical problem. To those naysayers I suggest that the problem is not a continuing one and it has not repeated itself since.
One more reason to love Vent Haven Museum....

Posted with Blogsy

Hello Blog

"Hello, Jay. I haven't seen you around here lately." said the Blog.
"Hello, Blog, but you know I was only gone for the weekend." said Jay.
"The weekend and Friday and Monday." Blog added.
"Okay... a four day week end. That's all." said Jay.
"Well, is seems longer. The last time you were around these parts was last Thursday.  Were you out of town? Did I do something to piss you off?"
"No, I 've been involved in a project and it seems to have taken up most of my writing time.", Jay replied.
"What kind of project?" the blog asked.
"I'm prepping for the Two and Only shoot in Wilmington, NC, Thalian Hall on September 15th*."said Jay.
"That is months away..."
"But there are lots of things to do, I mean we are producing the play as a live event AND we are filming it at the same time.  It really  is a double edged sword." Jay said. " And, I'm writing a stage play with one friend and a screen play with another. 
"Did you say WRITING?" the blog said with attitude, " I knew it...You're seeing someone else!"
"No, No it's not like that. It's just a matter of running out of time during the day to blog."
"It would seem you have time during the day for everyone else but me. After all that I have done for you, how could you...."
"I think you are making a big deal out of nothing." Jay interjected.
"Nothing... you're writing something else? After all the things that I have done for you. I have been here letting you write all over me for the past six years. Six years. I've been here for you... when no body else would let you write, I was here. When you wrote smack about other people and got in trouble, I was here, When you shared your feelings, I was here.  Remember when I stood by you while you were doing Sam Jade, dyslexic detective? I didn't say anything, I just let you have your way with that idea. Remember what happened?  Don't answer. I'll tell you what happened... that story line didn't catch on like you thought. No on liked it, but I didn't say anything. I just let you come back to your senses.  I've been here for you through thin and thinner. And now you are off writing something else. Well, thanks a lot Mr. Fine Fickle Friend."
"I think you are upset for no reason." calmed Jay.
"No reason.  Look Jaaay, I'm not some tweet or FaceBook status that you can just write and forget about... I am your blog, the one who has stood by you when you had nothing else.  And you run off and write something else at the first idea that catches your fancy. You wouldn't even be a writer if it weren't for me.  Oh yeah, if you think this is all about you, you have another 'think' coming.  If you can't find the time to write the very blog that has been a loyal friend to you since your high and mighty Broadway days, then you are no kind of writer at all. You are just a poser.  You heard me a poser!"
"I can't believe you are taking it this way.." said Jay.
"Go ahead, play thespian at Wilmington, NC on Sept. 15, (Thalian Hall, tickets available on line now, like JJTwoandOnly on facebook to keep updated on the show and release of the DVD.... it will be historic*) write your screen play,  write your stage play.... Write your obituary for all I care. Just remember when you have done all that, I'll be here. That's right I will be right here.  I'm not going anywhere. When you need a place to write I'll be here, and you'll come crawling back... you need me more than I need you. You are not the only blog writer in the world you know. Look around the Internet is lousy with bloggers.... most more loyal than you." the Blog huffed.
"Oh come on... it's been four days... " pleaded Jay.
"Don't write on me right now... I'm just not in the mood for your bull shit this morning. Go and write what you will with those 'other projects', you bastard."
"I'll come back and write when you are feeling differently." said Jay.


For the first time the Blog was silent.


As you we - "I can't believe you would say... As you were at a time like this." and with that the Blog shut down.
As... uh... time goes by,
Jay


*Mention of "Jay Johnson: The Two and Only" playing Thalian Hall, Wilmington, NC on September 15, 2012 was paid for by the 'Jay Johnson committee to preserve the show.'


I'm Jay Johnson and I approved of this message.... except the part where the blog got bent out of shape.

New Con

And you thought I would be writing about age today.  Yesterday, having become another year older and several years wiser you might think I would be expounding upon that wisdom, today. That is exactly what I plan to do.

I would like to use my new status of age to impart knowledge to you electronically addicted, text talking, drawsomething playin', instaphoto interrupting, video taking, constantly FaceBook checking younger kids.... you get off my lawn.  Here is my rant: 

Today I got notice of a new comment made on a 2006 blog post. Upon reading it I erased it immediately so I can only paraphrase but it was at least this vague or more.  Posted anonymously it said: 

"Thank you again for another wonderful article. It is great to read such useful information so well written these days on line. I am conducting a seminar and yours is the kind of knowledge we are looking for to professionally help us.  Would you consider it. Here is the website" 

Below this was a link to a site. Corvette was in the URL. I was never tempted to click on the link.

I went to the blog to delete it from the actual post, but it did not exist. It never went through the blogger filter, it was a grand fake, but certainly fooled me. 

It was obviously a robo generated message that could not get through the Google "type what you see in the box" firewall. All other information was correct, and formatted the same way as any Google alert. The fact that it referred to a post I wrote six years was a wickedly deceptive device.

I suppose this is just another type of Trojan horse, and the site link was perhaps benign, but even a shoe ad can be irritating when unsolicited.  I understand this is the new age of junk mail but the element of deception  is not new with the media.  If you are as old (and wise) as me you remember a letter that would come personally addressed to your house every year or so.  It would officially announce that the addressee was the winner of a sweepstakes. Upon opening it up it was, alas, only an ad promoting a purchase not a notice of collection.

The difference between physical junk mail and junk email is the immediacy of a computer. Whereas I would have to call or write or physically purchase the product promoting the physical junk mail; one click on the link  of a junk email and your computer could get screwed.

Be careful out there kids. The economic wolves are learning faster than the rest of us sheep.

As you were,

Jay    

What the TSA saw......

This is an artist's rendition of what Bob looks like to the TSA. It is his air tight carry on case as it goes through the x-ray. 

Today is my birthday and as a cosmic gift, I do not have to fly in an airplane for a week.

As you were,

Jay

Writing

Sandra Brown is an old friend.  I don't mean she is old like John McCain, I mean old like, I have known her for a long time. Perhaps Sandra is my long friend. 

At any rate, Sandra has written more books than I will ever read in my life time and is continually on the New York Times best seller list.  Her husband Michael was the live show manager one year for a show I did in college.

I remember at the end of that summer we were all talking about what we would do in the fall after the show closed.  Sandra said she thought she would like to write a novel.  The rest they say, "is History".

One of the things that has stuck with me all these years is her writing discipline.  She said that writing was a lonely job and she needed long periods of undisturbed time to do it.  Once she had kids it was more difficult for her to get the time to herself.  Finally she set up a rule for the family to live by.  When she was in her office writing with the door closed she was not to be disturbed for any reason unless it involved fire or blood.

In my semi-professional attempts at writing I thought I could just tune out the real world and go into my own.  I seem to be good at daydreaming. However, I found that unless my thoughts are isolated, I can't really write what I am feeling. I really do need to have a quite place with zero distractions but that environment is increasingly harder to find. While that continues to be the case, it is also an excuse. I can blame the smallest distraction for my inability to write well.  In those cases a silent room at a Monastery would not be sufficient to give birth to an idea.

Like right now, I am at the desk in my office and no one else is in the house.  I have all that Sandra Brown would need to turn out another best seller.  But it is not working for me.  I am completely distracted by a clicking noise that seems to accompany my every thought.  It is relentless and unless I completely stop writing it never goes away.  It is the obnoxious sound of my fingers typing on the keyboard.  There is is again, every time I think of something to write that noise starts up again. Like just then when I wrote "just then".

I tried using those dictation programs that type what you say.  I find that is not a good answer to the problem.  It is like having a collaborator who doesn't speak English, but is continually correcting your words.  It is the equivalent of trying to drive a car just by telling the car what to do. Besides, when I talk the computer tends to get confused about who is speaking me or Bob. 

I tried ear plugs. That doesn't work. When I really am in the moment with the muse I can actually hear the words before I type them.  Obviously I can't do that with ear plugs... what am I schizophrenic. And don't think that the virtual keyboard on an iPad is the answer.  It is like tapping your fingers on a glass desk top, I don't feel any connection to the process. 

There was a time I pretended the keyboard clicking was Morse code and the words on the screen just the translation of that information. It didn't last long. I typed SOS on the key board one day.  Since that is the only thing I know in Morse code I knew the clicks on my keyboard did not match the number of clicks necessary for those three letters.  I lost all faith that the story being delivered in code was the same as the story that was being written.  I began to fear that the story being clicked in code was a much better story than the one I was reading on the screen. 

Now you know the difficulty I have in delivering this blog.  Although I think the phrase is way over used these days.... "just sayin'"

As you were,

Jay

DrawSomething....Draw Some...

I enjoy playing DrawSomething when I have a chance.  I draw in my spare time anyway and to have suggestions of things to draw is a great exercise in Art.  In fact I think my technique has improved since I have been playing.  It is easy to get lost in the minutia of the drawing and forget communication and perception.  This game makes you put perception at the top of the skill list.  Numbers of players who are not so much artists get it, and some that draw well do not. 

There was one picture I could not guess from a person I do not know but have been playing with for a while. This player drew a stick figure with the arms angled upward. It could have been a diagram for  semaphore signals if the stick figure had been holding flags.  But Alas, the correct answer was Karate.  There was no way this symbol conjured up that ancient Martial art.

This brings me to the thought of the day.  On one of my turns at DrawSomething the word to draw was "WigWam". I  realized that a wigwam and a Tee Pee are visually the same, if not synonyms.  I was hoping that the player on the other side could figure it out from the letters as well as the drawing.  He did, but it reminded me of a joke.

A guy goes to the psychiatrist and says, "Doc, I am having terrible dreams."  

Doctor says, "Tell me about them... maybe I can help."

"Okay.... sometimes I think I am a Tee Pee and some time I think I am a Wig Wam."

The doctor says, "Well, it is obvious to me that you are two tents."

LOLing yet? Well you may have to read it out loud.  Or maybe you have to have a comedian tell it. Or

maybe it just isn't that funny.  I like it... and it is a clean joke.

As you were,

Jay