Just before I left for Las Vegas to complete my CSI episode I learned that the “The Two and Only” received an Outer Critics Circle Award nomination. The category for Best Solo performance includes:
Daniel Beatty, "Emergence-See"
Ed Harris, "Wrecks"
Jay Johnson, "The Two and Only"
Nilaja Sun, "No Child"
It really is quite an honor and I am grateful that the critics have been so supportive of my show. So, Ed Harris. The LA Critics Circle Awards nominated our show in with Lynn Redgrave who won. I am reminded of what my mentor Mr. Meeker once told me, “Jay, when you play with the big boys you play for keeps.” To use the standard Academy Award language, it is an honor just to be nominated. I always thought that was justification from those who did not expect to win, but now know it really is the truth.
I completed my filming of the “Living Doll” episode of CSI. It was a great experience. I’m always frustrated as an actor when I discover a great new way to play the scene the minute they call it a wrap. It is the total antithesis of working the stage when tomorrow is another chance to find that moment again only better.
Having spent a lifetime playing myself as a ventriloquist, it was difficult to play the part of a ventriloquist that was so unlike myself. This guy has had a very tragic life. My brief and somewhat strange performance will be the last show of the regular season and is supposed to air May 17th.
We shot at the Riviera where the gambling didn’t stop just because a television show came to town. During one take a bartender mixed a blender drink about five feet from my ear. It was like trying to do Hamlet in a Saw Mill. I asked William Petterson (Grissom on the show) how he could concentrate with all that was going on around us. He said, “It is not just the casino noise, take a look over there.” I turned around and what looked like a thousand people crammed the casino with cameras straining to get a look at the filming. After seven years the stars have been able to find a way to focus on the work. They need an academy award for that feat.
Next stop New York City where I will dine with my producers and turn the original Bob over the Smithsonian Institute, oh yeah, and the Tony Nominations are announced.
As you were,
Jay
BY JAY K. JOHNSON - Journalized rants and ramblings from a fragmented ventriloqual mind. ©Copyright and common sense apply to all the material contained in this blog.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
On Monday we filmed one of the flash back crime scenes from the episode of “Living Doll” for CSI. You know you are on a crime show when the director calls for some blood, and the prop man says, “What kind?”
His prop cart is a buffet of different types of blood. There is dried blood, transfer blood, pooling blood, thick blood, spurting blood and various other kinds of red and burgundy liquids from which the director can choose. For this particular shot the pooling blood is chosen but that does not end the discussion of blood. How fast will it pool and in what direction will it flow and when does the director want it to begin. All of those decisions are made and the shot is set up.
After all of this work to get just the right look it will be a matter of a few seconds on screen. In trademark CSI fashion it will happen in double time as a hiccup in the storyline. If anyone ever wondered why it is so expensive to produce film, a few minutes watching the hundreds of people involved in the staging of this murder victim would give you the answer.
Personally I am having a good time. The process of single camera film production is long, boring and repetitious. However, it is a process I find totally fascinating. The angles, the eye lines, the way an editor/director can direct the viewer from shot to shot to create a world which doesn’t exist, is a unique art form.
Who knows how much of my involvement will actually make it to the final show. Unlike a theatrical film where running time in not as important as communicating the story, television film is ultimately all about time. My character is important in giving the motivation to the antagonist so it is likely that some of it will have to stay.
I will have a better feel of how it is going when we do my major scene in Las Vegas next week. After learning so much about blood on my first day, I can’t imagine the education I will get on my next day.
As you were,
Jay
His prop cart is a buffet of different types of blood. There is dried blood, transfer blood, pooling blood, thick blood, spurting blood and various other kinds of red and burgundy liquids from which the director can choose. For this particular shot the pooling blood is chosen but that does not end the discussion of blood. How fast will it pool and in what direction will it flow and when does the director want it to begin. All of those decisions are made and the shot is set up.
After all of this work to get just the right look it will be a matter of a few seconds on screen. In trademark CSI fashion it will happen in double time as a hiccup in the storyline. If anyone ever wondered why it is so expensive to produce film, a few minutes watching the hundreds of people involved in the staging of this murder victim would give you the answer.
Personally I am having a good time. The process of single camera film production is long, boring and repetitious. However, it is a process I find totally fascinating. The angles, the eye lines, the way an editor/director can direct the viewer from shot to shot to create a world which doesn’t exist, is a unique art form.
Who knows how much of my involvement will actually make it to the final show. Unlike a theatrical film where running time in not as important as communicating the story, television film is ultimately all about time. My character is important in giving the motivation to the antagonist so it is likely that some of it will have to stay.
I will have a better feel of how it is going when we do my major scene in Las Vegas next week. After learning so much about blood on my first day, I can’t imagine the education I will get on my next day.
As you were,
Jay
Friday, April 13, 2007
Yesterday on the news I heard that Roscoe Lee Browne passed away. Roscoe Lee played Saunders on SOAP, and had a dressing room right next door to mine for three years. I had many conversations with Roscoe. I fell like I know him about as well as any one. He was the very definition of "piss-elegant". That incredible voice and his elegant ways made him very unique. I remember asking him where he was from. He said, "Legend has it..." I laughed and I don't think he even finished the sentence.
We refered to Roscoe as "Queen of the Nile" even to his face, to which he would respond with a sly look from under his brow. Richard Pryor used to call him "humming bird". I never asked.
He could recite poetry from memory by the hour, and spontaneously write the dirtiest limericks that I have ever heard. He used to do poetry readings for ladies clubs. They loved him. He never had to prepare he just showed up and decided what he would recite on the spot.
It will be a long time before there is another like Roscoe Lee. Rest well my friend.
As you were,
Jay
We refered to Roscoe as "Queen of the Nile" even to his face, to which he would respond with a sly look from under his brow. Richard Pryor used to call him "humming bird". I never asked.
He could recite poetry from memory by the hour, and spontaneously write the dirtiest limericks that I have ever heard. He used to do poetry readings for ladies clubs. They loved him. He never had to prepare he just showed up and decided what he would recite on the spot.
It will be a long time before there is another like Roscoe Lee. Rest well my friend.
As you were,
Jay
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
I hate this computer on the ship. It is very slow and a PC. Being a Macintosh man this is very unsatisfying. This will be brief for those who still read this. I booked the CSI script. I play the ventriloquist father of a serial killer. Crazy ventriloquist in a dive of a club, but I am glad that the schedule worked out that I could do it. We start to shoot the minute I am back from this cruise. One day on the Universal Lot and a couple of days in Las Vegas.
It will be fun to do a single camera show again. I love film and this is a great chance to be on the set of a hit show.
Thanks to all the people that wrote to me to contact the casting agent and go for it. Usually I am gone when these things come up. I will let you know more about the air date, and how much of the part ends up in the episode.
As you were,
Jay
It will be fun to do a single camera show again. I love film and this is a great chance to be on the set of a hit show.
Thanks to all the people that wrote to me to contact the casting agent and go for it. Usually I am gone when these things come up. I will let you know more about the air date, and how much of the part ends up in the episode.
As you were,
Jay
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Last Friday we did some extra pick up shots on the Bryan Singer ventriloquist documentary. The tentative title is, ”I’m NO Dummy.” I told him that is not my favorite title. However, the title is just a hook, it is the meat of the film that tells the tale. I think Bryan is approaching the art with the greatest respect. He has a real interest in the art and it is nice to see a perspective from that point of view for a change.
I had to smile at some of the things he had to say after 6 months of making this documentary. At our first meeting he was still excited about every aspect of ventriloquism. Now after talking to a hundred people from vents to scholars on the subject he has jaded a little.
The one thing that surprised him has been the individuality of the process of ventriloquism. He went into the project thinking there would be certain aspects in common to all vents, particularly the ones making a living at it. What he has found is a bohemian approach to the art and everyone has come to it from a different path. We all seem to be blind people touching an elephant trying to describe it. I know that most of my career has been spent tying to figure out what it is, and why it works. I guess that was the inspiration for “The Two and Only.”
There is a lot of in fighting with the ventriloquist community. It is part of the reason I try to avoid ventriloquist conventions. It is very hard to keep your perspective when there is so much backstabbing. There is an old yarn that goes like this: “Get two magicians together and you have a convention. Get two ventriloquists together and you have a fight.”
Bryan and I get along very well and it was a pleasure to work with him. He understands my distance to the community of vents after being a part of it for a few months. Last Friday he said, “I didn’t realize that ventriloquist seem to be the kind of people that eat their young.”
I wish it were not so, but there is nothing I can do except to try and stay above the tempest as much as I can. I wish him well with the documentary. I am excited that there is someone that is trying to look at the art with an objective eye and not try to paint us all as crazy. Perhaps we are, but I don’t think that makes a very compelling film.
Here is to Bryan, with the hope that he finds what he is looking for in this film.
As you were,
Jay
I had to smile at some of the things he had to say after 6 months of making this documentary. At our first meeting he was still excited about every aspect of ventriloquism. Now after talking to a hundred people from vents to scholars on the subject he has jaded a little.
The one thing that surprised him has been the individuality of the process of ventriloquism. He went into the project thinking there would be certain aspects in common to all vents, particularly the ones making a living at it. What he has found is a bohemian approach to the art and everyone has come to it from a different path. We all seem to be blind people touching an elephant trying to describe it. I know that most of my career has been spent tying to figure out what it is, and why it works. I guess that was the inspiration for “The Two and Only.”
There is a lot of in fighting with the ventriloquist community. It is part of the reason I try to avoid ventriloquist conventions. It is very hard to keep your perspective when there is so much backstabbing. There is an old yarn that goes like this: “Get two magicians together and you have a convention. Get two ventriloquists together and you have a fight.”
Bryan and I get along very well and it was a pleasure to work with him. He understands my distance to the community of vents after being a part of it for a few months. Last Friday he said, “I didn’t realize that ventriloquist seem to be the kind of people that eat their young.”
I wish it were not so, but there is nothing I can do except to try and stay above the tempest as much as I can. I wish him well with the documentary. I am excited that there is someone that is trying to look at the art with an objective eye and not try to paint us all as crazy. Perhaps we are, but I don’t think that makes a very compelling film.
Here is to Bryan, with the hope that he finds what he is looking for in this film.
As you were,
Jay
Friday, March 30, 2007
I just finished some new work and of course Sandi is the first audience allowed to witness and give an opinion. This is not a task she relishes because she never knows how exactly to answer. Do I need her encouragement or her critical eye? Usually I’m not even sure what I am looking for. The child in me always needs a pat on the back, while the adult in me needs constructive feedback. It is an impossible situation from which to respond. But after decades together I still do it to Sandi.
I show her what I want her to see and as she is contemplating how to respond, I say, “I might be crazy, but I think this works.”
Her response is, “Well, I don’t think it is either or.”
As you were,
Jay
I show her what I want her to see and as she is contemplating how to respond, I say, “I might be crazy, but I think this works.”
Her response is, “Well, I don’t think it is either or.”
As you were,
Jay
Sunday, March 25, 2007
I have been immersed in a project that has kept me from the blog. I’m not sure there is much to talk about for the Two and Only. I remember how much fun it was to give a nightly report on the show and my experiences in New York. That seems so long ago now.
I talked to my friend Joanne Worley this morning and she is on her way to join the cast of “The Drowsy Chaperone,” at the Marquis Theater on Broadway. She will be wonderful in the role of the dowager. I am anxious to see her in the show the next time I am in New York.
The next deadline is the announcement of the Tony nominations. I think the powers that be are waiting to see what happens to help jump-start the tour process. I never thought the tour would take so long, nor be so difficult. I thought the hardest part was making it to Broadway. Evidently it is all a very long project and it seems one has to have another job to afford a career in theater. Being a dyslexic instead of doing this early in my career, I decided to do it at the down side of a career.
We will also induct the original Bob into the Smithsonian the middle of May. That is very exciting. They are still creating the event so I don’t know much more than a date.
The IRNE award has recalled all the fun we had in Cambridge. That is when the road to Broadway was clear and full of excitement. I suppose there is nothing that could ever compete with that feeling, unless the show was still on Broadway.
There is a new horror movie out now called “Dead Silence”. I have not seen it but it seems to involve the dark and demented side of ventriloquism. I always hoped my show would stir up a renewed interest in the art form. I am taken up short that this could be the result. The demon side of ventriloquism is just so easy to write about. The movie will perhaps scare a new generation away from those of us who have found the art. I wish there was a current tour for The Two and Only that would at least tip the balance.
Thanks to all of you who keep asking about the tour, and keep checking in here to see if there is any news. I will post it as soon as I know, but you know the rule. I am the last to know. With Murphy and Paul fighting the battle for another off Broadway venture, the information I get is usually a month old.
I have not lost hope, nor the will to take the tour anywhere and everywhere that makes sense. I still think there are thousands of people who want to see this show and I want to bring it to them.
As you were,
Jay
I talked to my friend Joanne Worley this morning and she is on her way to join the cast of “The Drowsy Chaperone,” at the Marquis Theater on Broadway. She will be wonderful in the role of the dowager. I am anxious to see her in the show the next time I am in New York.
The next deadline is the announcement of the Tony nominations. I think the powers that be are waiting to see what happens to help jump-start the tour process. I never thought the tour would take so long, nor be so difficult. I thought the hardest part was making it to Broadway. Evidently it is all a very long project and it seems one has to have another job to afford a career in theater. Being a dyslexic instead of doing this early in my career, I decided to do it at the down side of a career.
We will also induct the original Bob into the Smithsonian the middle of May. That is very exciting. They are still creating the event so I don’t know much more than a date.
The IRNE award has recalled all the fun we had in Cambridge. That is when the road to Broadway was clear and full of excitement. I suppose there is nothing that could ever compete with that feeling, unless the show was still on Broadway.
There is a new horror movie out now called “Dead Silence”. I have not seen it but it seems to involve the dark and demented side of ventriloquism. I always hoped my show would stir up a renewed interest in the art form. I am taken up short that this could be the result. The demon side of ventriloquism is just so easy to write about. The movie will perhaps scare a new generation away from those of us who have found the art. I wish there was a current tour for The Two and Only that would at least tip the balance.
Thanks to all of you who keep asking about the tour, and keep checking in here to see if there is any news. I will post it as soon as I know, but you know the rule. I am the last to know. With Murphy and Paul fighting the battle for another off Broadway venture, the information I get is usually a month old.
I have not lost hope, nor the will to take the tour anywhere and everywhere that makes sense. I still think there are thousands of people who want to see this show and I want to bring it to them.
As you were,
Jay
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Well if it’s the third week of March it must be time for
The Independent Reviewers of New England (IRNE) Awards. The ceremony was last night and the
winners announced.
The 2007 winner for Best Visiting Production is: “Jay Johnson: The Two and Only!”
So “in your face”, Lynn Redgrave, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
I would like to thank IRNE and all the people who came to see our production in Cambridge. Thank you Wiz.. was it worth the bat attack? Thank you Clifton, we still have a tab open at O’Briens. Thanks Rob for being there to load out. And thanks to Amanda, Tori and Lauren the “Charlies Angeles” of ART and of course Murphy, Paul and Sandi, for making it a wonderful run last summer.
As you were,
Jay
The Independent Reviewers of New England (IRNE) Awards. The ceremony was last night and the
winners announced.
The 2007 winner for Best Visiting Production is: “Jay Johnson: The Two and Only!”
So “in your face”, Lynn Redgrave, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
I would like to thank IRNE and all the people who came to see our production in Cambridge. Thank you Wiz.. was it worth the bat attack? Thank you Clifton, we still have a tab open at O’Briens. Thanks Rob for being there to load out. And thanks to Amanda, Tori and Lauren the “Charlies Angeles” of ART and of course Murphy, Paul and Sandi, for making it a wonderful run last summer.
As you were,
Jay
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Well the results of the Los Angeles Drama Critics Circle Awards are in. Last night in the ceremony at the El Portal theater in the category of Best Solo Performance, the nominees were:
Jim Brochu, Zero Hour, West Coast Jewish Theater.
Jay Johnson, Jay Johnson: The Two and Only! Brentwood Theater and Colony Theatre
Lynn Redgrave, Nightingale, Mark Taper Forum.
And the winner is: Lynn Redgrave, Nightinggale.
The LA press gave the award to a legendary Actress from a world acclaimed theatrical family for a show about Florence Nightinggale one of the worlds most acclaimed humanitarians performed at LA’s most prestigious venue. Those kiss-ass-critics. They would choose this over a show about a man and his puppets. What is the theater world coming to?
This is only the second time I have attended this LADCC awards show. They are known to give out multiple awards in the categories. In one case there were four nominees and three winners. The only loser must go home to an ego shredder after the awards. At least my friend Jim Brochu and I can sit at a bar and dish about the winner.
Actually it was a pleasant evening. I didn’t have to perform and the likelihood of having to give a thank you speech for an award was a long shot. In the tradition of my Boy Scout training, which continually reminds me to always be prepared, I did write something just in case it was needed. It was easy and the only thing I thought I might be called upon to say. “Congratulations to Ms. Redgrave on her winning performance.”
As you were,
Jay
Jim Brochu, Zero Hour, West Coast Jewish Theater.
Jay Johnson, Jay Johnson: The Two and Only! Brentwood Theater and Colony Theatre
Lynn Redgrave, Nightingale, Mark Taper Forum.
And the winner is: Lynn Redgrave, Nightinggale.
The LA press gave the award to a legendary Actress from a world acclaimed theatrical family for a show about Florence Nightinggale one of the worlds most acclaimed humanitarians performed at LA’s most prestigious venue. Those kiss-ass-critics. They would choose this over a show about a man and his puppets. What is the theater world coming to?
This is only the second time I have attended this LADCC awards show. They are known to give out multiple awards in the categories. In one case there were four nominees and three winners. The only loser must go home to an ego shredder after the awards. At least my friend Jim Brochu and I can sit at a bar and dish about the winner.
Actually it was a pleasant evening. I didn’t have to perform and the likelihood of having to give a thank you speech for an award was a long shot. In the tradition of my Boy Scout training, which continually reminds me to always be prepared, I did write something just in case it was needed. It was easy and the only thing I thought I might be called upon to say. “Congratulations to Ms. Redgrave on her winning performance.”
As you were,
Jay
Friday, March 16, 2007
Bill Irwin and Kathleen Turner are doing their award winning production of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf" at the Ahmanson Theater here in Los Angeles.
I finally got to see my friend Bill do that part last night. I can't quite get over the idea that the man who created "Fool Moon" and "In Regard of Flight" can also turn in a performance of Albee's work like he did. I thought he was stunning. The production was fine and everyone was good but the more I watched Bill play George, the more complicated his performance became. It was like a video game where each level solved opened to another more challenging puzzle. He was truly amazing.
I was, however, sitting in the "cell phone" section of the theater. Although they make the announcement to turn off cell phones once before the show, and at both intermissions, three people around me had their phones ring, loudly during the performance. None of the three acts was free of cell phone rings. It is not just the ring that is distracting, but the scramble to find the purse, to get the phone to shut it off becomes a professional wrestling maneuver.
And of course cell phones don't just ring anymore, full orchestrations announce incoming calls. Suddenly a flea circus marching band concert can interrupt any silence. Lilly Tomlin once said, "I'm afraid the person who thought up Muzak, is thinking up something else." Unfortunately, he was thinking up ring tones. Great idea! Why just disturb people with a bell ringing when you can irritate them with a hackneyed song.
Bill and Kathleen were asked in a talk back, "what are the differences in New York, London and Los Angeles audiences". Bill said, cell phones ringing during the performance was more a problem in LA than any where else. One lady stood up and said, "Perhaps it is because we have more doctors here than anywhere else." If this is the mental capacity of the average audience member in Los Angeles, no wonder they can't remember to turn off their cell phones.
As you were,
Jay
I finally got to see my friend Bill do that part last night. I can't quite get over the idea that the man who created "Fool Moon" and "In Regard of Flight" can also turn in a performance of Albee's work like he did. I thought he was stunning. The production was fine and everyone was good but the more I watched Bill play George, the more complicated his performance became. It was like a video game where each level solved opened to another more challenging puzzle. He was truly amazing.
I was, however, sitting in the "cell phone" section of the theater. Although they make the announcement to turn off cell phones once before the show, and at both intermissions, three people around me had their phones ring, loudly during the performance. None of the three acts was free of cell phone rings. It is not just the ring that is distracting, but the scramble to find the purse, to get the phone to shut it off becomes a professional wrestling maneuver.
And of course cell phones don't just ring anymore, full orchestrations announce incoming calls. Suddenly a flea circus marching band concert can interrupt any silence. Lilly Tomlin once said, "I'm afraid the person who thought up Muzak, is thinking up something else." Unfortunately, he was thinking up ring tones. Great idea! Why just disturb people with a bell ringing when you can irritate them with a hackneyed song.
Bill and Kathleen were asked in a talk back, "what are the differences in New York, London and Los Angeles audiences". Bill said, cell phones ringing during the performance was more a problem in LA than any where else. One lady stood up and said, "Perhaps it is because we have more doctors here than anywhere else." If this is the mental capacity of the average audience member in Los Angeles, no wonder they can't remember to turn off their cell phones.
As you were,
Jay
Thursday, March 15, 2007
I was briefly in New York this week to receive the Pricilla L. Vail Language Award from the New York Chapter of the International Dyslexic Association. As a joke in my act I always call this group the DNA, National Dyslexic Association, but they are international and certainly a great bunch of people helping kids cope with dyslexia. The first thing I said in my speech to all the doctors and educators, was why they had to come up with such a difficult word like dyslexia for people who have difficulty spelling. Oh well. I was honored and delighted to receive the award and the honor. I never thought I would become a poster boy for anything, but I am glad to help encourage my dyslexic brothern to know they are out of the box thinkers. Mostly because we have never been able to function in the world's one size fits all box.
I wasn't feeling well in New York, so I really didn't get to do much but the speech. The rest of the time I spent throwing up in my hotel room. I was concerned that I might toss during the awards luncheon, knowing this might set dyslexia back 40 years I was trying very carefully not to.
Yesterday on the plane I was hoping not to toss as well. I started thinking of all the nicknames for vomiting. Hurl, toss, heave, spew, up chuck, feed the fish, drive the procelin bus, check the cookies and one I had never heard but works for me "Roy." If you have a favorite send it to me.
I am still a little under the weather, but Sandra insists that my dance card if full for the next couple of weeks and I do not have time to be ill.
More later, less vomit references.
As you were,
Jay
I wasn't feeling well in New York, so I really didn't get to do much but the speech. The rest of the time I spent throwing up in my hotel room. I was concerned that I might toss during the awards luncheon, knowing this might set dyslexia back 40 years I was trying very carefully not to.
Yesterday on the plane I was hoping not to toss as well. I started thinking of all the nicknames for vomiting. Hurl, toss, heave, spew, up chuck, feed the fish, drive the procelin bus, check the cookies and one I had never heard but works for me "Roy." If you have a favorite send it to me.
I am still a little under the weather, but Sandra insists that my dance card if full for the next couple of weeks and I do not have time to be ill.
More later, less vomit references.
As you were,
Jay
Thursday, March 08, 2007
You know you travel too much when you have a personal relationship with a limo driver in St Maarten. His name is Julio Rouy. He is my friend and has been driving me to and from the ships, hotels and airport on St. Maarten for six years. It is always great to see him.
Originally from Jamaica he is not only the owner of the elite transportation company on the Island, he also provides a bodyguard service as well. He is average height but is built like a Greek statue. He is a master of martial arts, and a weapons expert. Julio, his friends call him Julio, clients call him Rouy, is a very quiet and intelligent man with an engaging sense of humor and style. He is the one who drives and protects any celebrity that might come to St. Maarten.
Now that Anna Nicole Smith is gone he is more open to talking about the several months he was her St. Maarten bodyguard. He has great stories you will only hear while riding in his car, but what he isn’t telling could fill Celebrity magazines for years.
I hate to go though Customs and Immigrations at Miami Airport. I heard some traveler say yesterday while running to a plane, “This is the Stupidest Airport in the world.” Well, I haven’t been to every airport in the world, but it is the stupidest on my list.
A Customs official asked me where I had been with all these cases. I said, “I have been working, I am a ventriloquist and these are my puppets.” She didn’t seem to believe me. The choice was to either throw my voice or open all the cases for inspection. Rather than miss my plane, I decided to give her a show. It is like performing for the Mafia with a gun to your head. I was afraid that after I did a voice or two she would say, “No one would hire you with that act… strip search him and lock him up.”
Did I say it is great to be back home?
As you were,
Jay
Originally from Jamaica he is not only the owner of the elite transportation company on the Island, he also provides a bodyguard service as well. He is average height but is built like a Greek statue. He is a master of martial arts, and a weapons expert. Julio, his friends call him Julio, clients call him Rouy, is a very quiet and intelligent man with an engaging sense of humor and style. He is the one who drives and protects any celebrity that might come to St. Maarten.
Now that Anna Nicole Smith is gone he is more open to talking about the several months he was her St. Maarten bodyguard. He has great stories you will only hear while riding in his car, but what he isn’t telling could fill Celebrity magazines for years.
I hate to go though Customs and Immigrations at Miami Airport. I heard some traveler say yesterday while running to a plane, “This is the Stupidest Airport in the world.” Well, I haven’t been to every airport in the world, but it is the stupidest on my list.
A Customs official asked me where I had been with all these cases. I said, “I have been working, I am a ventriloquist and these are my puppets.” She didn’t seem to believe me. The choice was to either throw my voice or open all the cases for inspection. Rather than miss my plane, I decided to give her a show. It is like performing for the Mafia with a gun to your head. I was afraid that after I did a voice or two she would say, “No one would hire you with that act… strip search him and lock him up.”
Did I say it is great to be back home?
As you were,
Jay
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Sea Veiw
The last time we were in port I was looking at the ship and saw a long window high on the ship near the stern. Several guys were standing at a waist high wall looking out the window. It looked like they had a great view so I tried to find that window after we sailed. I could not seem to find it and no one on the crew knew what I was talking about.
By accident I wondered into an aft men's room on deck 11 a day or so later. I went to do my business and suddenly realized I was looking out a window above the urinal. This is the window I was looking for. The best view of the ocean is from the men's room on deck 11. And while taking in this beautiful view you can also multi task, if you know what I mean. I assume the designer of the ship was a man.
By accident I wondered into an aft men's room on deck 11 a day or so later. I went to do my business and suddenly realized I was looking out a window above the urinal. This is the window I was looking for. The best view of the ocean is from the men's room on deck 11. And while taking in this beautiful view you can also multi task, if you know what I mean. I assume the designer of the ship was a man.
As you were,
Jay
Monday, March 05, 2007
Hi Sees
The Granduer of the Seas was docked with us a day or so ago. I've been on that ship many times.
It is older now and when I was on it the engine was not really working all the time. As it sailed out of Los Angeles harbor on the Mexican Riv cruise, they could stop at Cabo either on the way down or back. The engine needed repair so the decided to go to Puerto Villarta (sp) to get it repaired. It was too complicated and they had to sail back, but couldn't go very fast so they would not have time to stop in Cabo.
Well they tell the passengers that the weather is too bad to anchor since it is a tender port. There is a sigh of disappointment but you can't do anything about the weather. Unfortunately that night there was a medical emergency and they had to make the nearest land, it was Cabo. As the sun came and they were getting the emergency off the boat, there was a Carnival Ship, A Celebrity Ship and a Princess all anchored. The weather was perfect, people were dancing, jet skis flying, para sailors soaring... the passengers of the Grandeur knew that had been lied too about the weather.
It was the closest to a mutiny I have ever experienced.
As you were,
Jay
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Set your Sales
It dawned on me today this is the very ship where "The Two and Only" was written. There is not even a plaque at the Champagne Bar commemorating that fact. I remember boarding this ship a couple of years ago with a hand full of 3x5 cards with Murphy's notes and after a few days of writers block, it started to come together. I had that actors dream for a couple of days, the one when you are on stage and realize you have forgotten the dialogue.
I rehearsed the show in its earliest form out on the balcony of cabin 6392 of this ship, yeah, and there is no plaque there either. I did scribble some graffiti on the wall, but I doubt the steward will let it stay. Who needs a plaque anyway, now you all know and that sums up about all who would care of be interested.
I heard a story that several trips ago the Captain was asked to do a burial at sea. They don't do that much anymore and the Captain was not sure of the process. Late at night they did a "rehearsal" to make sure it went well and accidental let the body slip off the stern into the sea. They chose not to tell the grieving widow, and instead placed a bushel of potatoes in a body bag. The actual ceremony was performed the next day. That could have solved all the Anna Nicole Smith issues.
I just heard through the grape vine that the Dallas run has been pushed to next spring. As my spy said, "Right month wrong year." I did not hear that from any official channel, because I have decided that the official channels don't have a clue.
I guess that is all I have for now.
As you were,
Jay
Jay
Friday, March 02, 2007
On Bored
This expensive computer on the ship does not have a spelling checker, so use your best guess for my vocaulary.
This is the same ship I was on only two weeks ago, the crew is still yelling "That's a monkeyjoke" at me. However, I was a late addition, so all the manifest and company paperwork was slow in getting here. After I did my show and we were at sea, the pursers office called and said it was okay for me to be here. Duh.
I did not know so many people would be concerned and compelled toward my idea to tell the true tale of Broadway Two and Only. I'm not sure it really matters anyway. I can just imagine a coal miner who runs across my complaining. Here is he coughing up coal dust reading about how rough it was when I did my Broadway show. Kind of puts it all in perspective.
Speaking of perspective. Although they finally resolved the "crisis" of Anna Nicole's corpse, Jame Brown's dead body is still not buried. Again it is an inheritance issue. Where is that in the lead stories? I mean a dead body story is a dead body story, right?
That is all I've got at these prices.
As you were,
Jay
Jay
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Wiz made a very observant comment about my trip to Vegas last week. She mentioned I was at the Orleans Hotel on Mardi Gras. Indeed I was. Since my friend Harry Anderson, who recently moved from New Orleans, was there at the same time the coincidence did not elude us.
However, there was not a mention, not a thought or even recognition of Marti Gras at the Orleans Hotel. It is decorated like a cheap Fat Tuesday float, but there was nothing special that was done for the holiday so closely associated with the name Orleans. Harry and I even wished “Happy Marti Gras” to a waitress at the Orleans. She looked at us blankly and said, "I don't think we have that on the menu."
Rather than a mention of Marti Gras, all of Las Vegas was decorated for Chinese New Year. You couldn’t look in any direction without encountering three story high red banners with Chinese character writing on them. Perhaps they were advertising the $11.99 Prime Rib, but I doubt it.
So there you go. Las Vegas doesn’t give a hang about New Orleans because they are broke. But the Chinese are cash flush. Again, I miss the mob, they were a little softer hearted than the modern day corporations that have taken over Las Vegas.
Here is a Jeopardy question from the show I would like to see.
Alex: “And the answer is Ovaltine.” Contestant buzzes in.
“How do you describe Rosie O’Donnell’s early years.” Rosie, don’t think you are off my list.
I am off to yet another ship tomorrow. Yeah, I know this is becoming a “career”. However, I am still trying to recover from last year’s Broadway based salary. This cruise is not part of my usual contract and is a little quick for me to return to the sea. They had a drop out for the show this week and they loved me so much on the Explorer, I am being brought back. It seems I can get held over most anywhere but the Helen Hayes. Yeah, I’m still bitter, and based on a conversation I had with one of my producers yesterday, the Magical Mystery tour for the Two and Only seems to be evaporating. Stay tuned, it could all change, but you know you will get the truth from me here.
I feel I am losing my blog readership by posting so irregularly since leaving New York, but for now it really can’t be helped. We will be discussing the up and coming Tony race. And I think it is time to pin the tail on the donkey, and tell the inside story of what happened to The Two and Only, and name names.
As you were,
Jay
However, there was not a mention, not a thought or even recognition of Marti Gras at the Orleans Hotel. It is decorated like a cheap Fat Tuesday float, but there was nothing special that was done for the holiday so closely associated with the name Orleans. Harry and I even wished “Happy Marti Gras” to a waitress at the Orleans. She looked at us blankly and said, "I don't think we have that on the menu."
Rather than a mention of Marti Gras, all of Las Vegas was decorated for Chinese New Year. You couldn’t look in any direction without encountering three story high red banners with Chinese character writing on them. Perhaps they were advertising the $11.99 Prime Rib, but I doubt it.
So there you go. Las Vegas doesn’t give a hang about New Orleans because they are broke. But the Chinese are cash flush. Again, I miss the mob, they were a little softer hearted than the modern day corporations that have taken over Las Vegas.
Here is a Jeopardy question from the show I would like to see.
Alex: “And the answer is Ovaltine.” Contestant buzzes in.
“How do you describe Rosie O’Donnell’s early years.” Rosie, don’t think you are off my list.
I am off to yet another ship tomorrow. Yeah, I know this is becoming a “career”. However, I am still trying to recover from last year’s Broadway based salary. This cruise is not part of my usual contract and is a little quick for me to return to the sea. They had a drop out for the show this week and they loved me so much on the Explorer, I am being brought back. It seems I can get held over most anywhere but the Helen Hayes. Yeah, I’m still bitter, and based on a conversation I had with one of my producers yesterday, the Magical Mystery tour for the Two and Only seems to be evaporating. Stay tuned, it could all change, but you know you will get the truth from me here.
I feel I am losing my blog readership by posting so irregularly since leaving New York, but for now it really can’t be helped. We will be discussing the up and coming Tony race. And I think it is time to pin the tail on the donkey, and tell the inside story of what happened to The Two and Only, and name names.
As you were,
Jay
Monday, February 26, 2007

Welcome to the latest look of Las Vegas. What may seem like just a grocery receipt above is actually the newest form of gambling currency in Vegas.
What with E-tickets and home printable boarding passes, I guess it was only a matter of time before Slot Machines caught up to with technology. At the new hotels in Vegas, Slot machines are now coinless. Yes it is true, the Slot Machine no longer has a slot for coins. Promissory currency only.
This week I went to drop my usual high stakes quarter in a slot as I walked through the Casino, but couldn’t fine the coin drop. That is because there is no coin slot anymore. There is only a bill insert and a credit card swipe. So you have to invest at least a dollar before you gamble a nickel slot machine now days.
When it is time to collect your winnings, if any, you press the “cash out button” and a receipt like the one above prints out. However, there is a speaker that plays the trademark sound of quarters hitting the return tray, just like the good old days giving you the virtual thrill of hands filled with coins.
This barcode piece of paper can be used in other machines by placing it in the dollar feed. Goodbye to those Dixie cups once used to carry coins to the cage. Only paper receipts, that by the way, unlike a quarter in your pocket has an expiration date. And also unlike a quarter, the receipt is absolutely no good outside the casino if you happen to forget to redeem it at the cage.
Vegas used to have the pretense of class, albeit, Jersey Class. You could hit a jackpot and rake in the chips or coins or cash. For that moment you felt like a high roller. Now you fold up your grocery receipts and feel like you just had a nice trip to the market.
I miss the mob. Being soaked by modern capitalism is just no fun.
As you were,
Jay
Friday, February 23, 2007
There was a brief moment of panic this morning when I talked to my agent Chris Burke. I told him I was home and He asked, “When are you leaving?” It is an odd question for him to ask since he holds the calendar for my shows and should know the next time I am going out of town. The conversation gets stranger as it continues something like this:
“No, I mean when are you leaving for your show.”
“What show, Chris.”
“You have a show tonight, right?”
“No.”
“Sure you do. You have a show in Anaheim tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes. I have the deal memo and contract right here. Anaheim Hilton, Anaheim, CA 10:00.”
“Chris there is nothing on my calendar for tonight, I don’t have any advance on this show and no paper work.”
“I have it right here. I was planning to come down and see you perform. I am leaving directly from work. I wore a suit and everything.”
“Chris, I am looking at all three of my calendars and there is nothing on my books about a show tonight.”
I hear papers rattling in the background and there is an increasing tone of alarm in his voice, when he says, “Here it is Feb. 23, 2007. That’s today right? Anaheim, California, Anaheim Hilton Hotel, the Wow Factory is producing. I have a signed contract and signed deal memo with your signature on it. We definitely sent the paper work out. Do you mean there has been no advance on this show at all? No one has called you from the production company? Wait a minute. This show is at 10:00 in the morning. If you are not there right now we are in breach of contract. Let me call you right back.”
I immediately check all my files, calendars, bar napkins and scribbled notes to see how this show could have fallen through the cracks. It is now noon and there is no way I can make it even though Anaheim is only 45 minutes away. I can’t believe it; I have never missed a show in my life.
There is a moment of wondering if I will ever work in this town again before Chris calls back. The solution is simple, but very odd. It seems I did have a 10:00 am show at the Anaheim Hilton for the Wow factory on Feb. 23… of last year. Somehow the paper work for that show was misfiled at William Morris with a 2007 instead of 2006 date. The Agency computer held the date for a year and sent notices to Chris’s office computer, which triggered blackberry and email notices to everyone at the Morris office.
I guess this is a modern day problem caused by letting computers dictate our schedule. All is fine now and the blood pressure is back to normal. Except for Chris wearing a suit to work on casual Friday, all is as it should be.
As you were,
Jay
“No, I mean when are you leaving for your show.”
“What show, Chris.”
“You have a show tonight, right?”
“No.”
“Sure you do. You have a show in Anaheim tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes. I have the deal memo and contract right here. Anaheim Hilton, Anaheim, CA 10:00.”
“Chris there is nothing on my calendar for tonight, I don’t have any advance on this show and no paper work.”
“I have it right here. I was planning to come down and see you perform. I am leaving directly from work. I wore a suit and everything.”
“Chris, I am looking at all three of my calendars and there is nothing on my books about a show tonight.”
I hear papers rattling in the background and there is an increasing tone of alarm in his voice, when he says, “Here it is Feb. 23, 2007. That’s today right? Anaheim, California, Anaheim Hilton Hotel, the Wow Factory is producing. I have a signed contract and signed deal memo with your signature on it. We definitely sent the paper work out. Do you mean there has been no advance on this show at all? No one has called you from the production company? Wait a minute. This show is at 10:00 in the morning. If you are not there right now we are in breach of contract. Let me call you right back.”
I immediately check all my files, calendars, bar napkins and scribbled notes to see how this show could have fallen through the cracks. It is now noon and there is no way I can make it even though Anaheim is only 45 minutes away. I can’t believe it; I have never missed a show in my life.
There is a moment of wondering if I will ever work in this town again before Chris calls back. The solution is simple, but very odd. It seems I did have a 10:00 am show at the Anaheim Hilton for the Wow factory on Feb. 23… of last year. Somehow the paper work for that show was misfiled at William Morris with a 2007 instead of 2006 date. The Agency computer held the date for a year and sent notices to Chris’s office computer, which triggered blackberry and email notices to everyone at the Morris office.
I guess this is a modern day problem caused by letting computers dictate our schedule. All is fine now and the blood pressure is back to normal. Except for Chris wearing a suit to work on casual Friday, all is as it should be.
As you were,
Jay
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I find myself doing a seminar for the World Magic Conference in Las Vegas today. I came to hang out with my friend Harry who is here performing his act. Tonight there is a forum on magic and the direction it seems to be headed. I was asked to be a part of that panel tonight.
Ventriloquist and magicians seem to share some of the same mystery of performance and although I have hung around magicians all my life, I never considered that I had much to contribute to the world of prestidigitation. However, in my career I produced three magic show specials for three different television networks. Since that would be three more than any body in the audience tonight, I guess I have something to offer.
After being around magicians for a couple of days it seems that ventriloquists are not the only ones who eat their own. There is certainly an element of backstabbing and petty comments toward the most visible and successful magicians. Since there are greater numbers of magicians than ventriloquist the negative element of the art is diluted somewhat.
I am sure there will be a chance to talk about The Two and Only and my ride on Broadway in the seminar today. Every magician is basically a one-man show hoping to take over the theatrical career of David Copperfield. I am trying to collect my thoughts to present some thumbnail sketch of my Hell and Hayes experience. It will be interesting because the forum is audience driven and question oriented.
We will discuss later.
As you were,
Jay
Ventriloquist and magicians seem to share some of the same mystery of performance and although I have hung around magicians all my life, I never considered that I had much to contribute to the world of prestidigitation. However, in my career I produced three magic show specials for three different television networks. Since that would be three more than any body in the audience tonight, I guess I have something to offer.
After being around magicians for a couple of days it seems that ventriloquists are not the only ones who eat their own. There is certainly an element of backstabbing and petty comments toward the most visible and successful magicians. Since there are greater numbers of magicians than ventriloquist the negative element of the art is diluted somewhat.
I am sure there will be a chance to talk about The Two and Only and my ride on Broadway in the seminar today. Every magician is basically a one-man show hoping to take over the theatrical career of David Copperfield. I am trying to collect my thoughts to present some thumbnail sketch of my Hell and Hayes experience. It will be interesting because the forum is audience driven and question oriented.
We will discuss later.
As you were,
Jay
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