Update on the performer preparation for the peeing process. The "urinator" (as I now call her) has switched from Evian water to beer. She threw back about three pints tonight before my first bit. I can't say that I blame her. She must have read the reviews. I personally think they should serve beer to the audience.... lots of beer.

Okay, so I am learning about art with all my new artist friends. You just have to come up with something that no one understands, most people don't like and the more offensive the better. No matter what, claim that it is the viewer who doesn't understand. So here it is my first attempt at truly cutting edge art: I call it... ANGRY BIRDMAN

The reviews came out to day and I broke my rule about not reading them. I just realize that reviews coming out on Friday the 13th is not the best of signs. Of course all the talk is about the bull, the guy wearing the dog on his head and of course the urinating naked women. Duh! Hey reviewers... there is two hours of a show before the women even start to pee. We are doing a complete show before the bull and the dog even arrive at the theater.

I do have a favorite comment by one of the reviews. He comments on the fact that the show does not allow children to attend. He said that it is not because the kids might be offended, it is because a child would see it for what it is and boo!

This is so true. I think it is the ultimate carny trick. As adults we are told to look for more than is obvious. What is the hidden meaning? Hey.... maybe there isn't one... maybe the emperor has no clothes and naked peeing in public is just well, against the law if not on stage.

They added a part for me after the tree. I didn't tell you about the Tree. A large tree is on stage, the curtain opens and we look at it for 7 minutes. It's dead.... you can't even say we're watching it grow. Here is the weird part... it got applause. I get to follow the tree because it takes so long to remove the tree. I say let the audience watch the crew take it backstage... at least there is some action to that. Let the stage hands do it naked, let the dog have a go, then later we could say peeing is a call back.

By intermission I am done with all three of my performances. They have cars to take us back to the hotel.
Tonight I was ready... I went up to one of the drivers and said, "Can you run me back to the hotel". He said, "No, sorry. I'm here for the dog." From Tony Winner to second billing under a dog.
As you were,
Jay