Part Two - Bubba and the Death Tiki

 Some facts are deduced, some are acknowledged,  some are accepted and some are assumed. This is all I know about Bubba.  I deduced that Bubba was not the man's real name, he acknowledged he was 7 years older than me, I assumed he had the run of the beach for Kona Village, and I accepted that every story he told me was true.

Bubba's official title was "Beach Manager".  If you were going in, near or around the Kona Village Beach you had to check in with Bubba. He functioned more as a concierge of the beach than a life guard. If you want to snorkel, fish, scuba, surf board, boogie board, sit under an umbrella, take a boat ride and probably many many more things you might want, Bubba is your guy. 

Kona Village opened in 1965 and two years later Bubba arrived.  There was something about the "vegetation" that compelled Bubba to come to Kona. A love child of the 60's, Bubba was in search of that natural high.  He came from a southern city on the main land, but after 30 years of living on Kona, it didn't matter any more. Although he would never be considered a true islander, he was as local and native as you could be with, a hip,  slightly southern accent.  

Hawaii is a mystic place, and although missionaries converted the willing many years ago, the tribal customs and superstitions are still revered.  Kona Village had on staff a local woman who not only helped guests with Hawaian arts and crafts, but functioned as the spiritual leader for the Village.  Her name was "Mama", it was her title as well as nickname.  She made sure that Kona Village was blessed by the appropriate rituals.  

As it was told to me by Bubba here is how it all started.  Part of Bubba's job is to keep the beach groomed and free of things that wash ashore.  One day it looked as though a large log had beached itself near his activities shack.  As he approached close enough he saw that it was an old carved wooden Tiki Statue.  It looked to be an authentic carving, not something that would be sold to tourists.  It was weathered from being in the ocean for some time, and very heavy.  Thinking that it was a sign of good luck, Bubba managed to drag it up near the shack.  He propped it up in the sand facing the Village and leaned his surfboard against it.  Bubba thought the Tiki made the activities shack look authentic and decorated.  It seemed the perfect local decoration to the beach, just in time for the summer season.  It might be there to this day except for what happened next.  

For Kona Village it was not a good season. Check ins for some reason were the slowest they had been since opening.  With a slow summer the staff could prepare for the Weddings that keep them busy during the "off season".  Weddings on the beach at this authentic venue were very popular with the locals.  They made way for a busy wedding season.

That did not go well for Kona Village either.  Wedding parties and ceremonies were way off.  In fact the few weddings that did book the Village were mainly couples from the main land.  Kona Village was hurting while the rest of the touristy places were doing their usually brisk business, no one knew why. One day Bubba saw Mama waiting for him at his beach shack.  She was upset.

"What have you brought into our Village?"  She was making reference to the Tiki.  Bubba explained that the Tiki had washed ashore and he decided to display it properly.  

"Don't you know what that is?" She asked.  Other than the obvious, that it was a Tiki Statue, Bubba didn't know much about it.  Mama said something in Hawaian that Bubba had heard before.  Loosely translated it meant, "You are not of this island." 

"Notice that this Tiki has frown.  That is the evil smile. This is not a good Tiki god this is what we call a death Tiki. When a Village experiences bad luck, the Death Tiki is carved so it will absorb all the evil in the Village so the people will be free of problems."  By inviting the Death Tiki into the Village it was now spewing all of the bad things it had absorbed and infecting Kona Village with bad luck.  There was not a villager on the Island that would get married with a Death Tiki looking on.  It had to be removed. 

Bubba was enough of a believer to understand, and there was no doubt that Kona Village was going through a stretch of bad luck since the Tiki arrived.  He knew that if for no other reason than to make Mama happy, Bubba had to get rid of the Tiki.  But Mama said that the ritual of removal must be observered very carefully so that the bad luck would not stay after the Tiki was gone. 

The Tiki must be buried at sea.  The Tiki must be taken to the ocean far away from any shore and dumped, head first, into the sea.  Head first so its power would be neutralized, and far enough away that it couldn't find its way back to Kona Village.  Since Bubba had "invited it to the village" he is the one who had to get rid of it.  Mama would not even go near the Death Tiki much less touch the evil effigy.  Bubba had his instructions, and Mama was not going to leave the beach until he accomplished the quest.  

By now the Tiki was well grounded in the sand by the shack.  With no help from Mama, Bubba struggled with the Tiki until he got it to the water line.  Bubba commandeered a fast ski boat and anchored it as close as he could to the shore with the Tiki.  The Tiki was definitely bottom heavy so it would stand erect, so getting it into a moving boat was not easy.  By inflating a rubber raft around the statue he was able to float it out to the boat and get it on board.  The weight of it almost swamped the speed boat, but with Bubba at the front for ballast it was sea worthy.  

As Bubba and the Tiki sailed away, Mama never left her position on the shore. Her last words to him were, 

"Don't look back at the Tiki." Soon he was too far out at sea to notice if  Mama was still there and wondered how far was far enough. As the waves pummeled the craft the wet wood rubbing against the Fiberglas of the boat made a groaning sound that was unsettling to Bubba.  He didn't look back in case it really was the death rattle of the Tiki. 

What had been a beautiful day on the beach turned dark and windy on the ocean.  A storm was on the horizon and heading to his position fast.  The waves were getting too large to go much further so Bubba idled the motor and prepared to assault the Death Tiki.  It was clearly apparent that dumping the Tiki into the ocean head first was a problem, given the massive weight at the base.  As Bubba struggled the boat would list and water would splash over the edge.  This wrestling match became much more difficult as the clouds moved in and the ocean began to grow angry.  It was now or never, although Bubba thought that the boat might swamp and sink if he didn't get it over the side quickly enough. Using the side of the boat as a pivot, Bubba got the head of the Tiki into the water, but it fought to right itself.  Bubba gave the base a heavy push with his legs almost falling out of the boat, but it was enough to send the Tiki head first to the depths.  

The wind is a problem now and the rain is arriving with dark clouds.  Bubba throttles the boat to full speed attempting to out run the approaching storm.  With that there is a huge lighting strike which seemed to hit the very place where he had just dumped the Tiki. Not thinking about Mama's admonition, Bubba turned to look back to see how close the strike had come.  As he did the Tiki suddenly breached the water head first and bobbed up to the darkened sky as lightening flashed with a deafening thunder.  The Tiki was angry and trying to fight back.  

Bubba arrived back at Kona Village where the sun was still shining and Mama was still on the beach waiting.  

"Did you dump it head first?"

"Yes.... it was difficult."

"Death Tikis don't go easily. But now we will be fine."

And so they were until March of 2011when the tsunami caused by a Japanese earthquake hit the property and destroyed it.  Now there have been reports that Japanese trash continues to wash up on that shore of what was Kona Village. Bubba is not around anymore to keep the beach groomed.  If I were writing the story among the flotsam beached on that sand would also be an old wooden tiki with a downward smile who found his way back.   I will be anxious to see how they build Kona Village back, but I doubt I will ever see Bubba again.

As you were,

Jay