Feelings? Nothing more than Feelings....

What do I feel like today?  I feel like me. I can't even explain what that feeling is. I just know. I know that I am me, but it is more than a physical phenomenon.  It is knowing. I know that it is me even when I am feeling less than up to par.

What does God feel like?  It seems that most of the things have a very identifiable feeling attached to the experience. I remember a television ad years ago with an egg. They showed the egg with a voice over saying, "This is your brain."  Then they cracked the egg into a very hot frying pan. As the broken egg sizzled in the skillet the announcer would say, "This is your brain on drugs.... Any questions?"  It was a visceral image that implied a dramatic change in the way your brain would feel under the influence of "drugs".

Of course they never said what kind of drugs. One could easily reverse the film and say while the egg is in the skillet, "This is your brain with depression", and then show the reconstituted egg in tack and say, "This is your  brain on Zoloft."  

We are all looking for something that makes us feel better.  Religions and Religious teachers claim that a God feeling is the best way to spend the rest of eternity.  They have no answer as to what one is to actually experience when feeling God.  Many people are after some "feeling" that will tell them they are in a state of atonement with Spirit.  To some that can be a euphoric feeling dancing around the sanctuary of a church. Or it could be the realization that you are talking in some other "tongue".  I have seen televised services where people are actually struck down by "the Holy Spirit" falling to the ground writhing.  I have heard preachers quote scripture saying, "Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and spitefully use you... For yours is the kingdom of heaven."  To me these are not signs that the God feeling is necessarily a pleasant one.  

Looking for that "feeling" has generated religious rituals using hallucinating substances. This drug induced "out of body experience", in their opinion, brought them closer to God and spirit.  Ram Das found God by taking LSD in the 60's.  These "feelings" led him to study with an Eastern Guru.  At one point the Holy Man asked what it was that Ram Das had in his hand. It was several hits of LSD.  He explained to the Guru that these pills helped him experience the feeling of God.  With that the Guru took the drugs out of his hand and swallowed them all.  Ram Das panicked and stayed with the Guru to help him through the very long acid trip that he felt was sure to come.  The Guru had taken five times the amount that Ram Das would have taken to become totally messed up.

For the rest of the day the Guru went about his business, teaching and studying with no apparent effects to his perception.  In other words the LSD had absolutely no affect on the Holy Man.  The next day or so the Guru explained that God could not be found in mind bending pills.  In an object lesson Ram Das learned that God can not be found in "feeling".   

People have become "religious" after some near death experience, morbid tragedy or life threatening illness.  In those cases people are trying to replace pain with a God feeling.  Trying to catch wind in a pillow case or lightening in a bottle is easier.

It is my opinion, if one is trying to find God through a feeling of some kind, they are only chasing a different kind of artificial addiction.  God is not feeling, God is knowing. How can anyone "feel" knowledge? 

Suppose you are on a trip from Phoenix to Los Angeles. Let's also suppose there are no maps, no GPS, and no definitive road signs to help you.  All you have are the directions given to you by someone you trust. The directions don't give you any clue on how long it will take, just the direction you should be heading.  With only that to guide you, you set upon your journey.   

Along the way you will encounter others on the journey. Perhaps they are going to LA, maybe not, they are just others traveling with vague directions like you.  Some will say, "There is no such place a LA... It is a myth. Let's all just settle down here."  Others might say, "I am sure that we are going the wrong way, we should go back," or "We need to change the direction."  If you are trying to keep your journey on path with a feeling you are heading in the right direction, your euphoria will fade.  The only thing that will keep you on the right path is knowing your directions are good. There are many ways to get to LA from Phoenix and no ones directions will be the same as yours.  Other pilgrims will show you their directions to prove you are on the wrong track. If you just "feel" like you are on the right track you are a long way from knowing.  

Sure wish there was something I could take or words I could say that would make me feel in sync with God.  There is no such magic chant or potion.  The work is not to feel God, the work is to Know God which is an eternal schooling.  I need to know God just like I know that I am me, and perhaps that feeling of being alive is feeling God. I think that is what God was trying to say when Moses asked who it was that spoke to him.  His answer, "I am that I am." That ability to know I am is really just knowing God. 

As you were,

Jay