On Sunday I performed for the "Artists in Concert" show at the Performing Arts Center here in town. The studio is run by a couple who are great friends of ours. Joey choreographed several of the dance numbers and Nanci danced in two of the dances. I suppose it has been 16 years, at least, since I have seen Nanci dance full out in a performance, perhaps even longer. In the days when she was dancing more than teaching we were on tour with the Doug Henning Magic Show. I have seen her dance lots of times but just not recently. I was impressed that Nanci was dancing so beautifully with dancers half her age.
When I got home from rehearsals the day before the concert I was trying to tell Sandi how good Nanci was in the show. I said, "Nanci can dance!" Sandi replied something to the effect of "naturally" "of course" or some other acknowledgement.
At the show Nanci came up to me and said I had been busted. Sandi told her what I said when I got home from rehearsal, only the inflection of my words had changed. Sandi recalled to Nanci that I said, "Nanci can Dance?" with a question mark. That is not the intent nor the inflection with which I delivered the original statement. It also changes the entire context of the statement. I spent several minutes trying to tell Nanci that I was not shocked by her abilities but continually impressed after all these years. Of course stressing "all these years" is never a good thing to do to any woman. So my damage control had to be controlled itself. She is a good enough friend that no matter how she really took it, she will never let me forget it. That is our relationship, and I love her for it.
So to all the artists and gentlemen reading. This is a cautionary tale. When giving a compliment to a lady you have know for a long time... choose your words and your inflection very carefully and hope that it is not corrupted in translation.
As you were,
Jay
Sounds like you recovered well, but that's good advice. Your comments on inflection reminded me of a theatre game where the students had to deliver "What is this thing called love" with different emphasis/inflection to change the meaning. Safer in class than in life.
ReplyDelete