Chuck and Bob

Susan Harris wrote Chuck and Bob into the bible of SOAP in 1977 after reading William Goldman's novel on ventriloquism called, Magic. Originally the producers thought they would just get an actor to play Chuck and dub in Bob's voice. It would only be for 7 episodes and the character would be written out. Jay Sandrich (who will correct my facts if I am wrong) said Chuck needed to be a real ventriloquist for the role to work. The actors, he said, had to react in real time to a real character. I happened to be at the right place, the right time, the right age and happen to actually be a ventriloquist who had done some acting. They hired me, Chuck and Bob weren't written out after seven but stayed for the entire run of the show.

I have often wondered what would have happened if a non-ventriloquist actor had done the part instead of me. I wonder how that would have worked. Well, now I know... and Mr. Sandrich, you sir were absolutely right on that call.

For three days this week I have been working as a consultant/coach on a new cable sitcom. I was asked to do this because one of the characters on this show is a ventriloquist. At least he is playing a ventriloquist in the script, but they are looping the "puppet" voice. I'm not going to say the name of the show or the cable network. It won't air until March and it doesn't matter anyway. Besides I don't want to write gossip just observations, observations on how, but for a decision of casting, my life and the characters of Chuck and Bob would have been radically different. I am getting to see what it is like for an actor to play a sit com ventriloquist.

First of all, the kid that I am working with is a good actor, from New York. He has some really good chops, acting wise. But he has never even held a puppet can't even spell ventriloquism and doesn't have a clue. Yet, he is a regular character and they have written Chuck and Bob scenes for him and the puppet. The producer who brought me in to "help" said, "I guess we didn't realize how difficult ventriloquism was..." Duh... I feel like an acrobat from Cirque du Sole being brought in to help someone do a triple flip on the trapeze when they can't even do a cartwheel.

The puppet looks okay but is mechanically dreadful. It was made by a prop man who adapted a doll. When the kid showed me the puppet, I tried to operate it and it was like trying to play piano with mittens on. He told me it was better than the first on they gave him to work on the pilot. I got a look at the original which had a mouth that was perpetually open and the control closed it. I have never heard of a vent puppet being constructed in that manner. That is the equivalent to playing a piano with mittens on hanging upside down. The puppet needs to be replaced.

As we go to the office of the executive producer to plead our case for a new puppet, it turns out that the Executive Producer is a huge fan of mine. He is so excited I would agree to help them out. He knows every episode of SOAP by heart. It was life support to my ego at that point. But the kid is 18 and really has no idea who I am, or what SOAP is. To him, I'm just a puppeteer hired to coach. As we leave the office the executive producer said, "You haven't aged a bit since Soap." My standard line at such a complement is, "Well, I am hiding Bob in the attic and he is aging quickly." To a room full of writers the Dorian Gray reference got a big laugh.

As I worked with the kid I couldn't even get him to hold the puppet up straight when he was working him. The puppet was lifelessly limp in his hands. I kept giving the note but he just didn't get it. Finally I got an idea. We found a computer and I "YouTubed" some old Chuck and Bob scenes. I said, "See hold your puppet like that...". He replied, "But you are sitting down in those scenes, I have to stand up in three of the scenes in my script. How do you hold him when you are standing up?"

Well, on YouTube I found a Today show shot of me and Bob promoting "The Two and Only" in New York. It happens that the interview took place outside in Rockefeller Center and I am standing with Matt, Meredith, Al and the bunch holding Bob. This I thought would give him an example of how to at least hold the puppet. I played him that scene and he said, "You know... that puppet Bob hasn't aged all that much...."

I have to go to Gettysburg to do my show and won't be there for the actual taping, but I have seen enough. I have given all the notes I can, suggested business to keep the puppet alive, told secrets I never thought I would reveal and none of it seems to happen when the director yells action. Basically the actor is limp when the puppet is supposed to talk and the puppet is limp when the actor is talking, this puppet is dead as the furniture. But like all sit coms the writers on the floor laugh at every muffed line like they just swallowed a laugh track, so everyone thinks the character is a hit.

I don't think this will put the nail in the coffin for "sit coms ventriloquist characters" because this show will air and never be seen. But it is frustrating to see such a wasted opportunity.

Did I just hear a voice in my head say, "Why these young kids today they don't know jack about......" Maybe I better go up in the attic with Bob and talk about the "good ole" days.
As you were,
Jay