Are You Kidding me?

To: J. Arthur Tildad Editor at Large - The World is a Stage
From: Walter P. Helmhurst, HFLC Law Firm

Dear Numbnuts:

I have in my hand a printed copy of the blog published on Sept. 13th. I also have a letter from my client Jay Johnson, which I would like to quote below in red.

Dear Walter, I just saw the blog for Saturday, and I didn't write it. In fact I have been working in Japan and have not had a chance to submit a blog since Friday. I didn't write about puppies or kittys and I certainly would not praise the Republican convention nor its nominees. My salutation is not "And they lived happily ever after" my signature is "As you were" and my name is misspelled.

I don't know who is trying to write my blog, but it is not me nor do they apparently share any of my values. Is there anything that can be done to stop them from publishing these stupid essays and claiming they are mine?

I know that you have been in contact with Tildad since I have been in Japan. Who is this Trunion Tilt guy and what has he got to do with anything? I am afraid to submit anything now that I am back cause I don't know if they will publish, go dark, redact it or just let some ghost writer take over. I want to talk about the experience I had in Japan with my artist friend Philleppe. But now I am not sure I should submit.

Walt, I thought this was my blog? Who are these guys that claim to be editors? And what is an "Editor at Large?" Does that mean that Tildad is really fat? Until a couple of weeks ago I didn't even know we had editors. I thought the whole Rules of the Blog, thing was just a joke.

I am really confused.

How much will it cost me to actually serve these guys to let me take over my own blog? "

Mr. Tildad have you at long last no dignity? Have you no decency? Does freedom of expression and freedom of the press mean nothing to you. There is a Constitution that governs this country. This is not only a suppression of Mr. Johnson's civil rights it is also identity thief and copy right infringement. Cease and desist immediately. Let Mr. Johnson publish his own words. And you go back to the Karl Rove school of business ethics from which you came.

You are an idiot,

Walter P. Helmhurst, Esq.
Hunt, Funt, Lunt and Cunningham
Attorneys at Law