Jimmy and Sammy

It is a bold sign of getting older when you start complaining about how fast the time is going. At the risk of showing more age than I wish to acknowledge, "Where has the summer gone?" I have now been out of school longer than I was in school, but I still get a knot in my stomach when I see "back to school" ads on television. As a kid it meant that my freedom was about to come to an end. Old anxiety triggers are very hard to over come.

I attended the 2009 Ventriloquist ConVENTion in Ft. Mitchell, Kentucky a couple of weekends ago. I had a great time, highlighted by being able to pal around with some of my ventriloquist heroes like Jimmy Nelson and Sammy King. I can't begin to acknowledge the influence each one of these guys had on my career. It was great to get a private tour of the special exhibit Lisa Sweasy and Jen Dawson did for me at the Museum. Even more exciting was being able to invite Jimmy, Sammy, Brad Cummings, Jeff Dunham and Tom Ladshaw to the private venture. It is a time that I will not soon forget.

Jimmy Nelson could be in my opinion the second nicest person in the world, second only to his wife Betty. I call Jimmy the Godfather of ventriloquism, at least in my perception of it. He has perhaps done more for the art form than any other vent. You can talk about Bergen and Winchelle, but they were just highly visible. Jimmy was always approachable, giving and supportive of other vents and young kids like me who wanted to follow in his footsteps. He attends every convention, lectures, discusses and helps anyone he can.

Sammy has always been like my big brother who was always out of town. In the last few years while he was at the Palm Springs Follies he was close enough for me reconnect. He was even in the Follies when my Mother in Law was the performing in the show. She used to tell me how similar I was to Sammy with our love mutual of sketching and creative endeavors. I didn't realize until this trip that Sammy made Francisco the Parrot. He said as one puppet would wear out he would make another carefully taking some piece of the worn out puppet to incorporate into the new. This continuity of the soul of a puppet certainly touches my passion.

Sammy did his last show with Francisco Saturday night at the convention. On stage after the performance donated Francisco to the Museum where he will take up a position of silent spokesman to an act Sammy has done 25,000 times in his life.

I doubt Sammy or Jimmy read this blog, but I lift an imaginary glass to you both. To the art of ventriloquism and two of the best protectors of that holy grail, all I can say is "thanks for the inspiration".

As you were,
Jay

Saturday, July 25 , 2009

Aquarius – Give out of your abundance and not out of your lack. Do not see it as the depletion of a limited amount but the flow of an infinite source. You are just the gate through which eternity flows. Share with no thought of running out and no thought of getting it back. It will always be there.

Pisces – Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey.

Aries- Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram.

Taurus – Some things that make you mad are but sheets in the wind. They billow, snap and wave for your attention, but they are not taunting you. It is but movement trying to make you charge. Stand fast, know that you are strong and do not take it personally.

Gemini – The self-analyzing you are doing is not just looking into a mirror. The very act of observing changes the experiment. What personality is it that looks at you? They are both you but both different. Be yourself and know that we are all complicated combinations.

Cancer – It is a roller coaster or maybe a yo yo. Just about the time you are feeling that life has hit bottom there is a new light. Things change and the way to be happy is to fall in love with change. Nothing lasts forever good times will be followed by tough times, but the good will be here again before you know it. Love the ride.

Leo – Always being ready to pounce is exhausting. You can keep a look out; protect your family and yourself while relaxing at the same time. Your experience will see you through. Even with your guard down you are shielded by what you know.

Virgo – The idea of embodying angelic qualities may not appeal to you, but that is who you are. Acting out in denial or trying to show that you are something you are not leads nowhere. You will never be fully realized until you embrace the spiritual side of existence.

Libra –Even when you are right it may not be correct to point that out. You have the ability to see things in a balanced way. Not every one sees the world through your scale. Do not judge but give everyone safe passage through your life.

Scorpio – It is when you are still that you find your greatest awareness. In movement you are briefly blind. Move forward with time planned to be perfectly still and understand your surroundings. It will help you avoid your enemies but it will also help you find your path.

Sagittarius – Caught between the warrior and the worker you tend to buck with the forward motion. You are both warrior and worker equally and both sides of your ego much be acknowledged. Know that weapons of war can be used as tools of peace with a correct thought. Pick a tool that can be both.

Capricorn – You sometimes think it is wishy- washy to stop and think for a moment. You are so accustomed to charging ahead, a moment’s pause is to you a sign of weakness. It is not. Stopping and kneeling in prayer can sometimes be the very best action to take. Try finding that meditation time you have neglected.

The male OHNO bird, native to the wilds of Tanzia, has genitalia longer than its own legs. The name of the species comes from the call the bird makes as it is trying to land... "OH NO, OH NO"
Believe it? Why Not?

On the Road

I guess this almost qualifies as a tweet. I don't plan to write very much.

I am off this morning for the Vent conVENTion. It is rare that I attend this gathering but I am looking forward to connecting with some old friends.

More on this adventure later. I sure do miss Jam Shade Wednesdays.
As you were,
Jay
www.monkeyjoke.com

BMW Stowaway

Saturday night about midnight as I was packing up some items in the car after a wonderful birthday party... I discovered this guy sitting in my back seat. If the intent was to un-nerve me and test the strength of my aging heart, it will take more than that. You can't scare a vampire with blood and you can't scare a ventriloquist with tools of their trade. So, I don't think my reaction was quite what as intended. I simply said, "Hello, John Henry." It was like greeting an old friend who was late to the party.

This very old figure belonged to Loring Campbell a magician ventriloquist and although I never met Loring, I certainly did know John Henry. I think Loring created John himself and he is complete with upper lip and spitter controls. Not sure how he was dressed as Loring's assistant but here he is dressed as a new boy for the Inquirer (the newpaper from Citizen Cane). Not evident in the picture is a political election button for Mayor Gaffney the mayor in the play "Harvey". Dressing like a news boy, the earliest incarnation of Charlie McCarthy, and wearing a button from a Broadway play about an imaginary character could only be the detailed work of my best friend Harry Anderson. I guess after you know someone as long as I have known Harry you can recognize their style.

John Henry now sits in the Helen Hayes chairs continually keeping vigil over the Tony. Under his mustard yellow shirt is the faded red valentine heart painted there and signed by his maker and partner Loring Campbell. It seems as if he was always there silently waiting a return to the stage. Not haunting at all, but very content to watch and wait. I guess it is up to me to write a Broadway show about this little guy.

Friends are the most valuable gift you can have. I have been blessed with so many not only of the human variety but the wooden as well.

As you were,
Jay

Encino Epilogue

They opened the Jackson's street to normal traffic Thursday. There are still a few gawkers, but the news trucks have all gone, and the flowers are withering. Things are getting back to normal in Encino. Now the full impact to the neighborhood is being assessed; it is hard to go to a store or to the post office in the area without hearing people talk about the events of the last two weeks.

There is a Gelson's grocery store just a block from the Jackson house. Some fans considered it a parking lot for their cars to join the fan parade down the street. The market tried to keep the parking lot open for actual customers, so they started marking tires and towing cars that stayed more than an hour. Even that cause congestion but seemed to be a nice thing to do for those who just had to leave flowers.

The day before the memorial service there was a very angry young girl inside Gelson's ripping the manager a new one in a very loud voice. I was trying just to shop but it was impossible not to hear her screaming. Gelsons towed her car claiming she had left it there for 8 hours, she insisted that it was there no more than an hour and demanded the market pay the towing charges.

The manager was trying to explain that they were chalking the tires and kept a record of the length of time each car was there and her car had been there all day long. She was unstoppable in her over the top demands. As I rounded the dog food aisle I finally caught a glimpse of the person yelling so loudly.

She had purple and orange hair tied in a severe pony tail on top of her head, pierced cheeks, very heavy eye shadow and pale makeup. She had a low cut black leather bustier vest laced tightly, and a neck full of gold chains. On her legs were red and white stripped stockings that looked like the ones worn by the wicked witch of the west from Oz. Flowing from her waist was a gypsy dress over a petticoat and she had on what appeared to be Elf shoes.

As I passed by she was still demanding they pay her cash for the towing charges. She claimed that the security guard (are you ready?) had mistaken her for SOMEONE ELSE. I stifled a guffaw and rounded the next aisle quickly. The only person who might have possibly mistaken her for anyone else would be Stevie Wonder. I guess to a specific segment of his fan base, Michael Jackson's odd appearance was not seen as radical.

As if to prove that life will sometimes express organic irony, the Circus opened at the Staples Center the day after Michael's memorial. This circus, however, has a definite closing date.

As you were,
Jay

Happy BirthdayJay Johnson
Working on a new Act....

"We Will Come Back"

One of the singers I worked with at Six Flags Over Texas is still a very close friend. I have known her for 43 years. She was from New Jersey, went to school in Tennessee and we met in Dallas. We reconnected in LA when Sandi and I moved here. She was then and still is the caribeaner to a performers "Mafia" who share a common theme park past. She lives about 5 minutes from my house, and my birthday party this weekend will be there. Lynn is another story for another blog although I doubt a weeks worth of blogs devoted to our friendship would scratch the surface.

With those Six Flags ties still holding firm, just this week I got an email from a Mafia member still living in Texas. She was trying to find the lyrics to a song that closed every show at Six Flags Charles R. Meeker, Jr. produced. I knew the song by the title, "We will come back". I sang it for seven years in one show or another. Those words are fixed to my brain like a crude Mexican tattoo.

Mr. Meeker didn't write the song although he changed the words. I knew the original was out there somewhere but I could never find it. Evidently my friend Linda was having the same difficulty as she was trying to locate the words to the second verse. When I got her email I immediately began to sing it and wrote her back immediately. Through an exchange of emails I found out that the actual song is titled "Maybe I'll Come Back". That is why I could never find it, I had the wrong title.

With a better search title I found it on iTunes yesterday and bought it. The best version and the one that most probably inspired Mr. Meeker was Marlene Dietrich's version. Recorded live in front of a very enthusiatic audience, listening to Dietrich sing it was an out of body experience for me. While it took me back to a time when I was 15 years old singing it at the Campus review, her version sounded more like the Madelene Kahn spoof from "Blazing Saddles."

It was always our closing number and curtain call. As I listened to Marlene sing it what struck me was what a weird number it was to close a show. It is a break up song stating strongly that the singer will never come back to some unsung relationship. The tune is very vaudevillian, but you can get the idea from the lyrics. (These are the ones I learned... only a couple of lines are different, I will come back was changed to we because it was an ensemble song)

We will come back when the elephants roost in the trees,

We will come back when the birds make love to the bees,

We will come back when the sun refuses to shine,
Angus Wynne, Jr. is a cousin of mine.
(If there was a VIP in the audience we would always change the name to theirs.)

We will come back when the fish start to jump in the bags,
We will come back when they're no longer flying Six Flags.
When the snow has turned from white to blue then maybe,
We will come back to you.

Now here is what struck me. Instead of a pleasant, "Thank You" song to end the show on a come back soon note, this song pretty much says... we ain't coming back... the show is over... go home.
Regardless of the mixed message it might have engendered it became the signature song for all of his review shows. It remains one of the few songs I can play any time by memory on the piano. In fact the family has refused to listen to it one more time, ever. Taylor has been know to leave the house if he hears the opening chord.

I guess when you are contemplating another birthday you remember little flashes like that. Perhaps some day it will make a perfect funeral song for my Staples memorial. It would fit perfectly then:
When the snow has turned from white to blue then maybe I will come back to you.

As you were,
Jay

Goofing Off

There were no helicopters to wake me up this morning. I guess the news shows can go back to covering Sarah Palin, the strangest politician of the bunch, and that is saying a lot. I have no comment on Ms. Palin, but figure if she ever runs for another office one would have to ask if she will stay with that new job more than a year.

I got up this morning thinking, "It's my birthday Saturday, so I think I will goof off." Then I asked myself, "Didn't you goof off yesterday?" Compared to a guy who works in a coal mine I probably did goof off, but it was a day not entirely devoid of creative ventures.

I am meeting with a couple of guys who have an idea for a musical. Besides just the fun of hanging out with a couple of funny guys, it is a compelling idea. Most of my mid day was spent brain storming concepts over home roasted Sumatra coffee. One of my partners is a stickler for coffee. He imports green coffee beans from a private grower and roasts them to his own taste. He throws out the beans that have come to his idea of an expiration date. The coffee is very good but very strong. I am never sure if the idea of the show is that exciting or I am having heart palpitations.

However, here is my take on writing projects: there are millions of good compelling ideas, success hinges on the writing. In fact good writing can sometimes trump a fabulous idea. Most people think the idea is the hard part, actually it's the fun part. It's akin to the make believe games that kids love to play.

A friend of mine wrote an Academy Award nominated movie and is always being "solicited" with "good" ideas. People with serious intent schedule a meeting with him to say something like, "I have this idea for a movie about a cream cheese factory." Maybe they have a loose plot or a few scenes in mind that could take place there, maybe not. At any rate they then say, "You write it and we can become 50/50 partners." Unless the guy is the caliber of Stephen Speilberg what writer would give away the profits to half of his work? And the truth is, Stephen Speiberg types are not looking for partners.

When you see a dual writing credit it means one of two things. The two people are writing partners and have a long established relationship, have worked out all the economics and write better as a team than individually. Or some unknown writer brings a finished script to a better known writer who has the clout to get it produced. The established writer will add his name, maybe make a couple of minor changes, or not, and take 50%. Writers will gladly share half the profits of someone else's work if it looks like it will get produced.

There are stories all over town about writers who get a million dollars for a script, only to have it totally rewritten by other writers at a tenth of the fee. The original writer gets screen credit and the ones doing the actual work get no recognition. If that movie becomes a hit the original writer jumps to the A list.

Okay so.. so much for my plan to goof off, it seems I started writing instead. Will someone please agree to rewrite this blog and make it better, funnier and more relevant while keeping my by line.

As you were,
Jay

Jam Shade has been Cancelled

Like all serials it just couldn't last. The Jam Shade Show has retired. National Visual Radio pulled the plug. Perhaps some day there will be a release of the "lost episodes", but I have to lose them first.

I have to admit that the ratings were not as great as the creator had hoped for. I think the only one who really read them was David Wylie and only because he is obsessed about the BFlat 7th chords and organ fills called for in the script. Well, byegood, Jam Shade ---Dyslexic Dectective... we hardly you knew.

NOTE: (Written July 7th... 5:00pm) The news trucks moved away from the Jackson Encino house this morning so a parade of black autos and limos could pick up the family. The helicopters were nosily hovering over the scene at 6:00am this morning. I did not need to tune into CNN to know that the family had gone to Forrest Lawn for a "private" ceremony, because the helicopters followed them. It was too late to go back to sleep by the time the noise stopped at eight o'clock. So, like billions of others we tuned into the "Memorial concert coverage". Some of the highlights for me was Brook Shields, Smokey Robinson, Barry Gordy and Magic Johnson. I think we could have done without the Congress woman in the only white dress with in miles of the Staples center. White? For a funeral? Did she think that Michael Jackson was a Hindu?

We were hoping that the pilgrimage to the neighborhood would stop after the service at Staples, but the news trucks are back and there seems to be the usual steady stream of fans. The Encino residents have grown tired of the traffic snarls. Tonight there is a meeting to see what can be done. I was never much for the Encino Homeowners Association so I won't be attending. It is a touchy situation. Katherine Jackson has lived in this neighborhood much longer than most anyone in the association. This is certainly not anything the family is encouraging and it is a tragedy of global interest. If the news media trucks would go away it would help. I figure the family is as ready to move on and get back to normal as is the neighborhood. We shall see what comes of this.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE: it is my birthday on Saturday. A couple of papers stated my birthday was last week, making me a week older than I am. I am not rushing to maturity like I did when I was eighteen. I will milk every day I can from this year.

So, a friend (along with the help of the lovely Sandra Johnson) is throwing me a birthday party, and other friends are flying in for the occasion. Because our friend is having the spectacle at her house Sandi and I are providing the drinks for the masses. This meant a trip to Costco for large quantities of adult beverage yesterday.

We pushed a very full cart to the check out loaded with nothing but industrial size booze containers. After scanning nothing but alcohol for a minute or two the girl at the register said,
"Having a Party?" Smart ass birthday boy replied, "No, I just got a liver transplant and I want to test the new one out." She actually thought that was funny and laughed out loud.

As we left the bag-boy said, "Have a good day," to which I replied, looking at the bulging cart... "How can we not?" Two scores for me. Two laughs in 10 minutes. I may be getting older, but I still got it.

Got what?

Uh..what were we talking about? Oh..... look over there, a five year supply of Costco peanut butter in an oil drum.

As you were,
Jay

HOT DOG
NO BLOG TODAY

Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy Birthday America

Aquarius – Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both.

Pisces –You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles.

Aries- Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals.

Taurus –Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion.

Gemini –Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey. Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down.

Cancer –Pick a tool that can be both. Your worry is that you are simply running around in circles. You think you are just chasing your tail but perhaps you are catching up to your own goals. Action is good and motion creates more motion. Keep going don’t slow down. Even if you have been down this road before you can always notice something different in your mindset journey.

Leo – Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram.

Virgo –You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram. Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness.

Libra –Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram. Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache.

Scorpio - Use your head in a different way than as just a battering ram. - Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. You can lower your head and try to break through an obstacle, but you are guaranteed to get a headache. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way

Sagittarius – You are guaranteed to get a headache if you use your as just a battering ram. Think of the horn of a ram, it curves and bends and makes a point in a round about way. Be proud and stand tall but do not give in to stubbornness. Don’t lower your head and try to break through an obstacle.

Capricorn – The idea of embodying angelic qualities may not appeal to you, but that is who you are. Acting out in denial or trying to show that you are something you are not leads nowhere. You will never be fully realized until you embrace the spiritual side of existence.

Episode #11

(CONTINUED)

POWERS LUNCHE AND JAM SHADE STILL ON THE STREETS OF CARNALDALE

SFX - STREET NOISE AND SLIGHT PANIC IN THE BACKGROUND

POWERS LUNCHE
Jam, do you mean?............

JAM
Yes. We won’t know what has happened to the Blonde
or why she has been shot by her own hand gun until…

POWERS LUNCHE
Until what….?

JAM
Until the next episode of

JAM SHADE THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER
Jam Shade….

MUSIC STINGER – BFLAT 7th CHORD

ANNOUNCER
Decetive Dyslexic…

POWERS LUNCHE
Well there you have it Hinkley.. the story is
There is no story until we return to the actual story.
So this is Powers Lunche throwing it back to
The National Visual Radio news desk and your Anchor
Hinkley Kelly.

RADIO STATIC – MICROPHONE CHANGE

HINKELY KELLY
Well there you have it we will have the story when we have the story
And we will be here to bring you the story when the story becomes a story.
And now back to the story…

ANNOUNCER
Jam sat with the Blonde on the street. The ambulance arrives and two attendants exit.
They rush to the scene of the shooting.

SFX - SIREN WAILING TO A STOP - VAN DOORS SLAMMING

PARAMEDIC
Wow... what happened here? Wait a minute that's you.... Delancy's old partner...
why you are..

MUSIC - SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN FILL

PARAMEDIC
Jam Shade….

MUSIC STINGER – BFLAT 7th CHORD

PARAMEDIC
Decetive Dyslexic…
To be
(CONT.)